'A bit of both,' she admitted. 'Sam, thank you for your help tonight, but I need to go to bed. Maybe you'd better go.'
'Not before I ask you to marry me.'
Yeah, well, so much for plans. He'd intended to do this outside. He wanted a bit of romance here. A full moon with moonbeams glinting over the water. The hush-hush of surf washing in and out on a sun-warmed beach. A palm tree or two waving in the wind, maybe a violin...
Instead he was wiping dishes while Susie washed, in Elsie's fussy, ornament-laden kitchen, with two weird cats winding themselves round and round his legs.
'What?' Susie said faintly. A man had to do something here, fast. He lifted her hands from the suds and dried them with his dishcloth while she stared at him with stunned bemusement, then he set the cloth down, swung her up in his arms and kicked the back door open.
He damn near killed them both tripping over another cat as he strode outside.
Hell, this was the wrong place. There wasn't even any beach here. You couldn't see the sea through the trees from Elsie's back porch.
There was a hen house too close to the back door. As he stumbled outside, the chooks responded with startled alarm, clucking at a volume he wasn't aware chooks were capable of.
Thwarted, he set Susie down on the back step and stared out into the night in bemusement.
'Um...what's going on?' Susie said faintly.
'I'm trying to find somewhere romantic.'
'Don't,' she said, and she sounded frightened.
He gave up on the romance. Frightening her was the last thing he wanted to do.
He sat down beside her and tried to take her hand. She snatched it away as if it burned. 'Sam, no.'
'I'm making a pig's breakfast of this,' he said ruefully.
'Then stop. Now.'
'I need to ask you to marry me.'
There was a sharp intake of breath. 'Sam, no.'
'But I've fallen in love with you,' he said simply. 'I know this isn't the right time. I know it should be a candlelit dinner with violins in the background, or at the end of a moonlit cruise with me on bended knee or.. .or.. .Hell,' he said simply. 'I have no idea. All I know, Susie, is that I've fallen desperately in love with you. I can't think of anything else. I haven't been able to think of anything else for days now and it's driving me nuts. This afternoon over on the mainland I bought a ring. It's not even the right size. I don't know what sort of ring you like. But I bought it anyway.'
He lifted it from his pocket and flipped the lid open. It lay nestled on black velvet. It consisted of a simple band of gold with one solitary diamond, dead centre. It was the biggest diamond he could afford. It was a truly stunning diamond.
'This is probably wrong,' he said softly. 'The jeweller said I could use it for the occasion and you can come in later and change it for anything you like—anything in the Whole shop— anything in the country. I don't care. But I needed something tangible to show you that it's real. Susie, Grant gave you only promises, and he lied. He can't have loved you. I know he messed with you. I know he's my twin and I know my appearance must mess with your head. But 1 love you more than anything in the world and I just wanted to say.. .Look, I'll shut up. I'm making a botch of this. But I just thought...I had to ask...Please.'
She stared down at the ring. Yeah, it should be moonlight. Elsie had a porch light but she also had a mosquito zapper, a horrible blue fluorescent buzzing thing that zapped intermittently behind them. Its light made the diamond look blue. OK, it made everything look blue.
It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.
It was way, way too big.
She couldn't. It was impossible. It was over-the-top ridiculous. But she'd hold this moment to her for the rest of her life, she thought. For this moment, with this man, life was perfect.
Maybe she could even say yes.
She couldn't, and she knew she couldn't, but oh, she so wanted to.
She sniffed.
'Don't you dare cry,' Sam said.
'Wh-why not?'
'Because I don't have a handkerchief,' he said desperately. 'I don't have anything. No moonlight, no surf, no violins, no bended knee—how the hell can a man kneel on bended knee when you're sitting on the second step? And, Susie, I want you more than anything in the world and I'd give you anything but right here, right now, I don't have a handkerchief. I gave it to Elsie when she was saying goodbye to her cats. So...'
'Sam?' She was half laughing, half crying, looking up at him with her eyes alight with love and laughter. 'Sam?'
'Yes?'
'Just kiss me,' she said, and so he did.
They surfaced to cats. At some subconscious level—it must have been way down, for he was kissing Susie and there wasn't a lot of room left for anything else—he could feel fur sinuously trailing around his legs. He was sitting on the step with Susie in his arms, and the cats moved from nuzzling their ankles to jumping into their laps. That was still not enough to interfere with what was really important, but then a cheeky black and white, three-quarter-grown kitten pushed its head in between their tangled arms and pushed against their chins. They broke apart laughing. Sam lifted the kitten, held it out over the balustrade until he knew it had its balance and then let it drop into the flower-bed.
Two seconds later it was back, eager to continue this game.
'No,' Sam said, and held it out again.
Susie withdrew a little, still laughing, but her eyes were growing sober.
'The cat's right,' she said.
'Sure, the cat's right,' he said. 'The cat wants to kiss you. But that's my prerogative.'
'It's not.'
'No?' he said, and suddenly the laughter was gone.
'No.'
'You're not saying no, are you?'
'I think I must.'
He nodded, cautious now. Aware that he hadn't got it right. But would there ever be a right way to approach something as complicated as this? Or as important?
'Susie, I've done my homework,' he said.
'That's...that's good.'
'This isn't an idle offer. It's for real.'
'That's what—'
'That's what Grant said,' he finished for her. 'I know. I'd give anything not to be fighting the ghost of my twin on this, but somehow I am and I need to get it right. It's one of the reasons I bought the ring before I asked you. It's the most expensive ring in the' whole damned shop. I had to make you see...'
'It is pretty big.'
'Susie, I need to finish saying this.'
'There's no point.' She sounded breathless and desperate. She was backing away now for real, pushing herself along the step so she was hard against the balustrade. He made no move to draw her back. This was the time for words, he thought.
He had to get this right.
'I've been in Melbourne,' he said inconsequentially, and maybe it was the right thing to say because she stared at him, puzzled. The desperation became confusion.
'In Melbourne.'
'I've been sweating on this,' he told her. 'Trying to see how we could work this. This island's not big enough to support us all. I can't work full time as a doctor here, and I have a feeling our family's only going to get more expensive.'
'What the—'
'Let me finish,' he said. 'Just hear me out. Susie, I was trying to figure out how I could work here. I know you won't leave the island, and your commitment here, to Brenda, to the boys, is part of who you are. I love you just as you are, so trying to change such a huge part of you is never going to happen.'
'Then...'
'Just listen,' he told her, and he put a finger on her lips to enforce her silence. 'The first thing I did was go and see the local council,' he said. 'Nick came with me. We figured there needed to be some representation about how urgent it is to get the bridge fixed, and maybe upgraded. What we found was that the council is half-hearted about even repairing the single-lane bridge.'
'I knew this would happen. I knew it.' She stood up and stared down at him, distr
essed. 'As soon as I saw the damage.
'This is my story,' he said. 'Let me finish.' She looked lovely, he thought. Just beautiful. And the knowledge that what he was about to say would take away her distress was wonderful. 'Anyway while we were there the local mayor received a phone call,' he said, while she stared down at him, bewildered. 'He got pretty excited and came to find the roads engineer while we were in his office. You remember Carly and Pete Hammond?'
'Of course I do. The guy in the boat.'
'His boat was worth a fortune,' Sam said. 'He'd just picked it up from the dealer. It wasn't even insured yet, but that hasn't bothered them. Carly Hammond is the heiress of some biscuit empire, Pete's a financier and they're loaded.'
'But...'
'Hush,' he told her, feeling the need to sound severe. 'Anyway, it seems Pete's going to be OK. The doctors in Melbourne have been praising you to the skies—your fast work saved his life and made his injuries a sight less serious than they could have been. Anyway, in post-trauma gratitude to everyone who helped, Carly rang the mayor and asked if there was anything the island needed. The mayor, half joking, said a double-laned bridge would be nice. She said, "Done." The mayor couldn't believe it. Anyway, he was coming to get a rough guesstimate of the cost of the bridge from the engineer. Nick and I were standing there with our mouths open. The engineer named a sum that seemed astronomical, the mayor rang Carly back and she said the cheque's in the mail.'
There was a moment's stupefied silence. 'I don't believe it,' Susie said at last, but Sam knew that she did.
'I had to practically blackmail Nick into not telling you,'
Sam told her, grinning. 'The mayor wasn't saying anything until the cheque arrived—he thought Carly was probably nuts—but it arrived this afternoon, and the bank's already cleared it.'
'Oh,' Susie said faintly, and sat down again.
'And it all fits,' Sam said. 'Because I'd already talked to the authorities at the hospital in Sandridge. It seems this area is in crying need of a new orthopaedic surgeon. The guy there has been threatening retirement for a decade.'
'You wouldn't,' she breathed.
'I couldn't be an orthopaedic surgeon over there when there's no bridge,' he agreed. 'I've been sweating over it, talking with Nick about the possibilities of owning a boat so I could get over and back, but Nick says at certain times of the year you can only get over at high tide. That's not going to work. So then I tried to figure out if I could do online teaching— anything—so I could earn a living and stay here.'
'But why?'
'Because I love you,' he said softly. 'Is that such a dumb reason? I met you less than two weeks ago and for almost two weeks I've been trying to figure out how we can work this. And it's as if the gods have planned it. The island's going to be open, Susie. Islanders will be able to get to hospital whenever they want, and visit and come home and go to Melbourne whenever they want.'
'They won't need me,' she said faintly.
'You have to be kidding,' he said strongly, and he took her hands in his and tugged her close. He half expected resistance but it didn't come. 'They love you to bits. What's the bet your pilates clinic trebles in size? You can still do the district nursing if you want but there are options all over the place. But...' He hesitated, knowing this was the most important bit, the lynchpin on which everything hung. 'But I hope I can get a look-in there. Into your future.'
'You don't want—'
'I want you, Susie,' he said strongly, his voice warm and sure. 'I love you more than anything in my life. I've been walking in fog the last couple of years, and that fog's been caused by the idea of the massive waste of Grant's illness and death. But more than that. By the waste of Grant's life. He hurt you, but in doing so he missed out on you. He missed out on the boys. His sons. Robbie and Joel. He even missed out on Brenda's curlers. Dammit, will you get away?'
The black kitten went flying again. It gave an incensed squawk as it landed in Elsie's petunias, then stalked off with its tail in the air.
Sam didn't notice. He only had eyes for Susie.
'I know you've been asked this question before,' he said. 'But not like this.'
'Not with cats,' Susie said, and miraculously the smile was back.
'Not without one single romantic plot,' he growled. 'So you have to know I'm serious.'
'You really want me?'
'The question is,' he said, letting her hands lie gently in his, holding back, trying desperately not to rush, 'do you want me?'
'Of course I want you.'
His breath came out in a whoosh. He looked into her eyes and what he saw there made his heart swell within his chest. His Susie. His one true love.
'Effie's coming tomorrow,' he told her. 'My crazy, lovely great-aunt. She's coming to check you out, and to check out the twins. I've already told her you're a darling. Can I tell her you'll also be my wife?'
'Would you really want to tell her that?'
'More than anything in the world.'
'Then you'd better tell her,' she said, smiling and smiling. 'Oh, Sam, you're my happy ending.'
'Don't you believe it,' he growled. She was too beautiful to resist kissing for a moment longer. He tugged her into his arms and he kissed her as he'd ached to kiss her for too long. He held her close, he loved her and when the kitten finally found the courage to shove in again its cause was lost.
There wasn't an inch of room for a kitten to shove its nose anywhere.
CHAPTER TWELVE
He kissed her and he went home.
She wanted him to stay. Elsie's bedroom was strange and lonely. She and Sam were two mature adults who'd decided this night to marry. If he'd lifted her up and carried her to bed she'd have reacted with nothing but joy.
'But it's not going to happen,' he rumbled into her hair as she tentatively suggested it. 'We didn't think this through and we're not prepared. I'm damned if tomorrow morning you will think for one moment you might be left in the mess Grant left you in. I'll not spoil this. I'll sleep at Doris's again, and we'll discuss important stuff in the morning.'
It was the one discordant note. That he should think of Grant then.. .For she'd forgotten.
For the first couple of days after she'd met Sam, her image of Grant had been crazily intertwined with this person she knew as Sam. But Grant was gone. His ghost wasn't hanging around to trouble her. Sam was her new love, her future. Sure, he was Grant's twin but Grant was her past and to mix them up any more.. .It didn't make sense.
But she wasn't arguing. She let him go, kissing him fiercely, possessively as he drew away, and she watched until his car lights disappeared into the distance and then she tried to sleep.
She was wearing Sam's ring.
It was too big. It was too loose on her finger. It was too.. .expensive.
He'd only bought her that because of Grant, too, she thought, and there was another discordant note.
But he loved her. That was the huge thing. He'd fallen in love with her and she loved him with an intensity she'd never believed she was capable of. That he loved her kids...that he loved this island and wanted to stay and be part of it.. .that the new bridge would be built and the islanders could be part of the real world without leaving their beloved homes.. .It was too much to take in. She lay and stared out of Elsie's window and wished she was home so she could go and tell Brenda or sit on her swing and tell the sea...
A soft thump on the end of the bed announced the arrival of a cat. It purred its way along her body until it reached her pillow. It was the kitten that had given Sam trouble tonight.
'I'm getting married, cat,' she told it. 'Sam loves me and he's given me this ring and we're going to live happily ever after.'
The cat stared at her in the moonlight, its eyes thoughtful.
'Don't you dare tell me not to let my heart sway my head,' she said. 'I know cats work on the cupboard principle but we work on a higher plane.'
Oh, yeah? The kitten started kneading the coverlet, where a million pulled threads to
ld Susie that this was a nightly event.
'I'm not being dumb,' Susie told the cat, and then wondered where that thought had come from. Why was she worried?
She put her hand out from the covers and held it out so she could see her ring. It really was.. .extravagant.
'He's just covering all bases,' she told the cat. 'He's wonderful.'
The cat gazed at her for another long moment. It was Susie who broke their stare.
'I'm being dumb, worrying,' she told the cat, but the cat, having won the stare-off, was already asleep.
She'd said yes.
Sam didn't go straight home. He took himself down to the beach and walked and walked, until he was too weary to walk any longer. She'd said yes.
He wanted to be with her, right now. She'd offered. She'd wanted to.
But he had to get this right. She was coming from Grant to him. He had to show her that he was different.
How could Grant have ever treated her like that? The thought of Susie, bereft and pregnant, alone in London, made him feel sick.
But he had the power to make it right. And she loved him.
She loved him.
The thought brought a wash of joy so fierce it almost blew him away. She loved him. She'd marry him.
Tomorrow Effie would come and he'd introduce Susie as his fiancée. It would bring joy to the old lady, he thought, as his news tonight would bring pleasure to most of the islanders.
And he could make this work. He could bring the medical situation on this island up to the best available anywhere in the world. Sandridge hospital was a good one. There were some decent doctors there, and Joe tonight had said that once the bridge was built and this island became accessible for living on, the place would grow. He and Susie could expand her pilates clinic. They could bring a family doctor over here a few times a week—maybe one might even live here.
Maybe Effie would stay.
And he and Susie and the twins could have their happy ever after.
Despite Grant.
Grant was still there. He still worried him. He had to banish his ghost from this happy ever after and keep him banished.
'It's over,' he told his twin's ghost, and he turned back to the car. Dammit, he should have stayed with Susie tonight. He'd wanted to so badly.
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