All he wanted was to spend as much time with Grace and Liam as he could. That satisfied him as much as being on the mountain, but in a different way. Bill loved Leanne like a sister and never thought he’d be closer to any other woman besides his mom. But with Grace, he’d found something more, someone who not only understood and accepted him, but also made him want to be a better man.
Each day brought the twenty-sixth closer. His collar kept tightening, but what could he do?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
THE EARLY HOURS of Christmas Day arrived with a fresh snowfall and a two-alarm house fire. Bill preferred busy shifts, but not like this. Fortunately, the fire was contained quickly, with no injuries or casualties.
No doubt Christmas magic at work.
Back at the station, he showered, then lay in his bunk, trying to sleep. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Grace and Liam. Last night, his mother had texted him that she and his dad had taken Grace and Liam to Christmas Eve services at church and then out for dinner.
A nice gesture by his parents.
He hoped nothing had gone wrong.
Someone snored in the room next door—O’Ryan.
Bill’s father had arrived yesterday, on Christmas Eve. No doubt he’d driven straight to the mall to do his Christmas shopping. But then again, several of the firefighting crew had stopped by the general store after lunch. Even Bill had picked up a couple things. Maybe he should cut his dad some slack.
Bill looked at the clock: 4:02 a.m. All he could think about was Grace.
Grace. Grace. Grace.
She was on his mind constantly.
He wanted to give her everything, not because she’d lost her husband or been through rough times, but because he wanted to see her laugh and smile and enjoy life. He didn’t want her to look as if she was waiting for the next bad thing to happen. The way she’d looked when he’d answered the door eleven days ago.
But Bill didn’t know how to start. Because he had no doubt he would fail.
His stomach churned. Maybe he shouldn’t have eaten so many brownies for dessert.
A medical call at six o’clock woke the station.
At eight o’clock, Bill looked at the next shift like a Get Out of Jail Free card. He didn’t hang around the station. He didn’t want to hear who got what for Christmas. No one minded when he cut out a few minutes into the briefing. He wanted to get home and see Grace and Liam.
The kid had been so excited about Santa coming. Porter and Hughes had offered to climb on the roof last night and leave footprints and reindeer droppings. Liam must be bouncing like a ball this morning, thinking Santa had been there.
Filled with anticipation and excitement, Bill pulled into the driveway.
A crossover SUV was parked on the street in front of his house. Must be Grace’s new car. Used, but with low mileage according to Thad, who had called Bill yesterday and said that Grace had reluctantly signed over the truck and taken the settlement from the insurance company. Together, Thad and Bill had come up with a way to help her.
His parents’ car was parked on the street behind the SUV.
Bill quickened his pace, his boots sinking into the snow. He opened the front door.
The aromas of coffee, bacon and something baking hit him first. A Christmas carol played. Peals of laughter filled the air.
Liam.
Grace.
Sweet music to his ears.
Bill closed the door. He expected to see Liam running toward him, and a mess of torn wrapping paper, discarded bows and empty boxes.
The little dude was a no-show. All the presents were still under the tree, gifts wrapped in brightly colored paper and tied with pretty ribbons. Stockings stuffed with goodies hung from the fireplace.
He stared, dumbfounded. It was Christmas morning. He glanced at the clock: 8:07. But nothing had been opened.
Realization pummeled Bill in the gut.
They were waiting for him to get home.
He could understand Grace doing that, but Liam? Talk about sheer torture for the poor kid.
Bill stood at the doorway to the kitchen and dining area.
His mother and Grace were in the kitchen, cooking breakfast—eggs, bacon and something delicious-smelling in the oven. Both women wore aprons and chatted, but as always, Grace drew his eyes and touched his heart.
The swing of her hair and the smile on her face sucked the breath out of him. Caring and genuine and strong... She didn’t need him or any man to rescue her. She was doing fine on her own.
His father sat with Liam at the dining room table, smiling, talking and building a wall with big LEGOs. His dad’s hair had grayed since the last time he’d been home, in the spring. His face was tan, but his wrinkles were deeper. His eyes looked tired, but full of warmth gazing at Liam.
Bill couldn’t believe his dad was playing with the little dude. His father had never spent time like that with him, but he couldn’t be happier for Liam. The kid deserved all the attention and love he could get.
Affection for the little dude threatened to swamp Bill. He never knew he could care so much for a little kid and a woman.
Not just any woman.
Grace.
These four people were his family.
Bill clutched the door frame, overcome with emotion.
He remembered what the mall Santa had said.
Search your heart. That’s how you’ll figure out not only what you want, but what you need.
Bill had searched his heart. The answer kept coming up the same. He wanted Grace and Liam more than anything else in the world. They deserved better than him, but he needed them.
He loved Grace. He loved Liam.
Bill loved them with everything inside him. He had to make this work.
He’d learned from his dad what not to do. Don’t leave your family alone. Bill had learned from years of dating what he didn’t want. A night or two with blend-together women.
No one had forced him to be like his dad, and he wasn’t. Not really. Bill might like adventure, but he was dependable, devoted to his mom and rooted in Hood Hamlet.
No one had forced him to date all those women. He’d stopped. He hadn’t spared one glance or thought about another woman since Grace had entered his life.
But was it enough?
Santa had said something else.
Don’t take too long to figure it out. Twelve days will be here before you know it.
Not the Twelve Days of Christmas.
The twelve days Grace was planning to stay in Hood Hamlet.
Today was day eleven.
Hope poured through Bill. He still had time.
He had no idea how to convince a woman like Grace to take a chance on a guy like him. But he had to do something. Make promises. Kiss her. Hold her boxes in his garage hostage until she agreed to stay. He would try anything.
What was the worst thing that could happen?
She could say no. She likely would say no. Break his heart. Leave for Astoria. And he’d be miserable.
But the same thing would happen if he didn’t try. If he let her go without asking her to stay, he would regret it for the rest of his life.
Come on, Christmas magic, don’t let me down.
He took a deep breath, gathered his strength and mustered his courage. “Merry Christmas.”
His mother greeted him with a smile. Grace, too.
Liam scampered out of his chair and flung himself against Bill’s leg.
His father stood. “Good to see you, son.”
Bill touched Liam’s shoulder. “Welcome home, Dad.”
“Give Bill a chance to say hello to his father.” Grace opened the lid of the cookie jar. “You can have one of Nana’s cookies.”
Liam ran into the kit
chen.
Bill’s dad hugged him. “A lot’s happened since I was here last. You’re not the same kid.”
Bill glanced toward the kitchen, at Grace and Liam. “Everyone has to grow up sometime.”
“That’s what your mother said last night.” His dad smiled softly. “I always knew you’d be a much better father than I ever was to you. Maybe I’ll do better being a grandpa.”
Regret and insecurity filled his voice. If Bill had ever doubted his father’s love, he didn’t now. A lump burned in his throat. “You’ll do fine. I know you did the best you could.”
“It was easy to let your mom do everything. She’s such a strong woman and never seemed to need me around. You’re just like her.” Pride gleamed in his father’s eyes. “I never had to worry because I knew you were there for her when I couldn’t be.”
“I’ll always be here. For both of you.” An unfamiliar contentment settled over Bill. He looked at Liam. “Who wants to see what Santa brought?”
* * *
Best. Christmas. Ever.
Grace sat on Bill’s couch, watching him and Liam play with her son’s new train set. The house was a mess, but she didn’t care. No one did. They could clean tomorrow.
Bill’s dad handed her a mug of spiced cider. Neil Paulson looked like an older version of his son, handsome and athletic. “Enjoy, Grace.”
From today on, the scent of cloves and allspice would remind her of Christmas morning and Bill. “Thanks.”
His father smiled. “Children make Christmas so special.”
“Yes, they do.” This was the first Christmas since Damon’s death that she’d enjoyed herself. The past years she’d gone through the motions for Liam’s sake. She’d been waiting for the normal grief to come, but so far it hadn’t.
Progress. Maybe.
Or maybe her happiness had to do with being in Hood Hamlet with Bill. Grace wished Christmas magic could make things work between them. She would allow herself the luxury of wishing and daydreaming today. Tomorrow, when she packed her bags and left for Astoria, she would have to be practical.
The train chugged around the tracks, whistle blowing.
Liam placed his stuffed animal in one of the cars. “Peanut wants to go for ride.”
Grace snapped a picture.
Bill’s gaze met hers, sending her pulse racing. No matter how many times she told herself not to react to him, she still did.
“You haven’t opened your present from me,” he said.
“I can open it now.”
“It’s not under the tree.” Standing, he looked at his parents. “Will you watch Liam?”
“Happily.” Susannah beamed, waving her hand. “Take your time. We’re fine here with him.”
Bill led Grace to the garage. “Close your eyes.”
She did.
A door opened.
She wiggled her toes in anticipation.
He led her down a step. “You can look now.”
Damon’s truck minus much of the front end was tied with the biggest red ribbon she’d ever seen.
She gasped, covered her mouth with her hands. “The truck was totaled. I used the settlement for a down payment on the car.”
“Thad bought the salvage rights, then sold them to me.” Bill placed his hand at the small of her back and led her closer. “It still needs a lot of work, but we’ll get the truck running again. Not that you need two vehicles, but I thought you might...”
His voice trailed off.
“It’s the perfect gift.” Tears stung her eyes at his thoughtfulness. “You have no idea.”
“Anything for you, Grace.”
“Thank you.” She hugged him, soaking up the strength and smell of him. She didn’t want to let go, but self-preservation sent her backing out of his arms. “Thank you so very much.”
“I’m happy to keep the truck here,” Bill offered. “So Thad can work on it.”
“That would be great.” And would give them a reason to keep in touch. Okay, now she was being silly.
“I was thinking you might want to forget about Astoria and stay here.”
His words filled her with hope. “You want us to stay?”
“It makes the most sense,” he said. “Astoria is a nice place, but you don’t know anyone there. You have friends in Hood Hamlet. People who care about you and Liam.”
“People.”
“Me, Grace. I care. I want you and Liam to stay.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.
“Hood Hamlet is a great community. I have rental properties. You and Liam could move into one. A house with a yard. Get a dog or a cat. Or both. You won’t have a view of the Pacific Ocean, but you’ll have Mount Hood.”
Everything he said was valid. But where did Bill and his caring for them fit in? “I love it here, but—”
“I want you to stay because I need you to stay.”
Her heart pounded so loudly she was sure everyone in Hood Hamlet could hear it. “I’m touched.”
“We’ll make this work. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
He was so sweet. This was breaking her heart. “I...”
She didn’t know what to say.
“You will always be first with me.” His breath hitched. “I love you. I love Liam, too.”
The unexpected words shot through Grace, filling her with a mix of conflicting emotions—happiness, fear, joy, regret. Knees weak, she leaned against the truck.
“I thought my life was perfect. Then you and Liam showed up on my doorstep that night, frozen and wet and hurting.” The sincerity in Bill’s voice bruised her heart more. “I thought I was helping you, but you and Liam were the ones helping me. I never thought I wanted a family, but thanks to you I realized what perfect is all about. You. Me. Liam. A family. We belong together.”
She closed her eyes, afraid that if she opened them, all this—his words, Bill himself—would vanish. “I want to believe this could work.”
“Believe, Gracie.”
“I wish I could.” But something was holding her back. “I’m scared. You were right about me. I’m afraid.”
“That makes two of us, because you scare the hell out of me, Gracie.”
The door to the kitchen swung open suddenly. “Get in here,” Neil all but shouted.
Bill’s gaze met hers.
“Liam,” they said at the same time.
Bill grabbed her hand, and they ran to the living room.
Liam sat by the tree with two stacks of ripped pieces of wrapping paper.
Seeing her son brought a wave of relief. She’d thought something had happened to him. “What’s going on, baby?”
He raised his chin. “Time for more presents.”
“We’ll continue our talk later,” Bill said to her, then joined him on the floor. “What are these?”
Liam picked up the first pile of wrapping scraps. “This one is for Mommy.”
“How sweet.” She’d never gotten a present from him. This was the first Christmas in years she’d had packages with her name on the tag that she hadn’t purchased. “I wonder what it could be?”
“Open it, Mommy.”
Grace unwrapped the gift, pulling off scrap after scrap of paper until she came across the back of an envelope. She turned it over. The word Free was scribbled in the corner where a stamp would go. Her name and address in Columbus and an APO AE address were written, too. She knew the handwriting as well as her own.
Damon’s.
Her heart lurched. Her hand trembled.
Bill grabbed hold of her. “Grace.”
“You’re so pale, dear,” Susannah said.
Neil held out the throw from the couch. “Would you like a blanket?”
She looked at her son. “Liam...”
He smiled. “Read it, Mommy.”
Her fingers shook as she unsealed the envelope. She removed a familiar looking sheet of paper. She’d sent Damon the stationery in her last care package. She unfolded the letter and read the date aloud.
Her world exploded. Or maybe it was her heart. All she knew was this, whatever this was, had been written right before Damon had been killed.
Her vision blurred. She lowered the letter. “I—I can’t.”
“I will.” Holding her with one arm, Bill took the paper and read:
“Dear Grace,
“Thanks for the care package. Once again you prove to be the best army wife ever. You always know what to send me. The other night you sounded sad. I know it’s hard to be apart. You tell me to stay safe, and I’m trying. I want to come back to you and our son more than anything in the world.
“But what I’m doing over here, it’s for you, babe. I know you think I love my job. I do, but not as much as I love you. Every day I spend away from you and Liam is a day I’ve spent protecting you. Keeping you safe. Making sure no one hurts the two people I love most. You’re the reason I’m here. You and Liam.
“So always remember...it’ll be okay, babe. No matter what’s going on, I’m here for you. Whether I’m at home or a world away. I love you and I always will.
“Your angel downrange,
“Damon”
Liam sat with Peanut on his lap.
Bill’s eyes glistened, as did his parents’. He handed Grace the letter.
She silently read Damon’s handwriting. His words.
“I was so wrong. All this time I thought he’d put everything else ahead of us.” But Damon hadn’t. For so long she’d believed his being a Ranger was the most important thing in his life, not her. She looked at Bill. “But you were right about him. You didn’t even know him, but you knew.”
“Damon did what he did out of love. That’s how I knew.” Bill cupped her face with his hand. “Because I feel the same way about you and Liam. I’m not Damon. But I love you guys. I will do anything I can to keep you safe.”
It’s okay now, babe.
She could almost hear Damon’s voice in her head and in her heart. The heaviness inside her lifted, replaced with a peace she hadn’t thought possible.
A Little Bit of Holiday Magic Page 19
