“Hey, Mel.”
She gave him a quick hug and then headed into the house. His brothers walked toward him, almost in order of birth. Josh first, Matt second, Jaxon third (although he was fourth in the birth order), Luke next (third in birth order. All but Aidan and Jaxon hugged him and just when Ace thought he’d lose his mind, they separated. He hated the close contact, but only Jax and Aidan knew the general extent of why.
The rest of the afternoon was spent in normal Quinn family conversation, food, and joking around, but it all seemed hollow to Ace. He felt disconnected. Even when they gathered on the sand for football, he moved through the exercise physically, but couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it like he used it.
Just before midnight, after his parents, Josh and Melanie, and their kids headed to bed, Ace and Jaxon sat on the deck, beers in hand, watching the ocean under the light of the moon. Luke and Aidan were in the garage playing a game of pool (their parents had converted the space five years ago when they realized the house wasn’t going to accommodate the growing family) and they would sleep out there as well. Matt got a call, and being FBI, his off days weren’t always guaranteed.
“You wanna talk about it?” Jaxon asked.
“No.”
“You don’t deal with shit, it festers.”
“Thanks, Dr. Phil.”
Jaxon smiled. “First kill?”
“No.”
“Somethin’ else first, though.”
“Just leave it, Jax,” he ground out.
“Gonna eat you up, Carter,” Jaxon said.
Ace rose to his feet. “I’m goin’ to bed.”
“You’re on the bottom.”
“Fuck you, I’m not.”
“Fuck you, you are,” Jaxon corrected.
“We’ll see.”
Ace made his way into the house, ignoring Jaxon’s laugh as he brushed his teeth and walked into the room that had been designated as theirs for the trip. Not much had changed. It still had two sets of bunks, Jeremy and his brother, Carl, in one, which left the other for Jax and Ace. Their niece was in with Josh and Melanie, but Ace figured they would need to either get a bigger house, or expand this one or they’d run out of creative sleeping options.
Too tired to deal with Jax and his play for the top bunk, Ace fell into the bottom one, hoping the sleeping meds would work tonight… he’d doubled the dose.
* * *
The setting sun cast shadows over Ace’s unit as their team lead, Ducky, signaled them into position. Gravel crunched under Ace’s feet as he eased forward, rifle raised. The shadows before him morphed into the form of a person. The barrel of an assault rifle pointed his direction. Ace’s heart raced. Now or never. He ducked low, aimed, and fired. The scream of a woman pierced the silence. Bile rose in his throat. He rushed forward to see who he’d hit, expecting to see a stranger. A familiar face stared back at him, the accusation in her eyes turning his legs to jelly.
“Carter?” Cassidy let out a tortured groan as she grasped her bloodied chest and fell to the ground. “Carter!”
He bellowed in agony as pain sliced through his leg, and his eyes flew open to find his mother looking over him, tears running down her face.
“Fuck,” he rasped, and tried to sit up.
“Honey? Are you okay?”
“Mom, back up a bit,” Jaxon ordered, and gently pulled her away.
“Boys, come here,” Josh called, and Ace grimaced to see his nephews rush past him, obviously frightened by his display.
Ace folded his body out from under the bunk and dropped his face into his hands. “I’m gonna go.”
“No, honey, please don’t,” his mother begged.
“Mom, I can’t be scarin’ the kids with this shit.”
“We can sleep in the garage for the next few days,” Jaxon countered. “Aidan and Luke can bunk in here.”
“Please, Carter.” She rang her hands and Carter knew she wanted to hug him. “Let us help.”
“No one can fuckin’ help, Mom.”
“Watch your tone, son,” his father warned.
“It’s okay, Scott.”
“It’s never okay to talk to you that way, Sheila.”
“Sorry, Mom,” Ace said. “I think it would be best if I go.”
“No,” she rushed to say. “Look, I get that this is hard, but you can’t get on your motorcycle at three o’clock in the morning when you’ve had next to no sleep. Can you give it until tomorrow and if you still feel like you need to go, then we’ll respect your wishes.”
Ace dragged his hands down his face. “I’m gonna go for a run.”
“At this hour?”
“I’ll go with,” Jaxon said.
“Does that mean you’ll stay?” she asked hopefully.
“For now,” Ace said, and she relaxed.
He’d stayed until the following afternoon. Then he’d left and hadn’t been back.
Present Day…
“HEY, CASS,” DANI said as soon as I answered the phone.
“Well, hi there, teacher of the year,” I responded.
Danielle Carver had been Maverick’s kindergarten teacher this past year, and she and I had begun a quick friendship which was one of the first I’d formed since leaving home. For whatever reason, I trusted Dani immediately. Rare for me, but Dani had championed Maverick, including spending extra time with him to help challenge him with harder work. Dani’s husband, Booker, was an officer in the Dogs of Fire Motorcycle Club out of Portland, and not only was he gorgeous, he was wholly devoted to Dani and I was hoping I’d meet someone like him one day.
Dani giggled. “It’s easy to look good when my kids are perfect.”
I smiled at Mav who was drawing at the kitchen table. “Mine’s pretty close… at least right now.”
“Are you guys going to make it tonight?”
“Are you sure it’s okay if I bring him?”
“Absolutely. Lily will be there, as will a bunch of other kids. Every member will be there tonight, so they picked up the biggest pig I’ve ever seen.”
I lowered my voice. “So, you’re telling me there will be more hotties like Booker and Hawk?”
Dani giggled. “Yes. Absolutely.”
I grinned. “Then I’m definitely there.”
“Awesome. Do you want Hawk and Payton to pick you up? They live in Felida and Payton offered.”
“No, that’s okay. I’m fine with driving. It means I can leave if Mav’s tired.”
“Sounds good. I’ll send you Payton’s cell in case you change your mind,” Dani said. “Tonight’s going to be really fun, Cass. I promise.”
“I’m surprisingly looking forward to it… even with this sudden intense desire to back out.”
Dani chuckled. “There is absolutely no pressure. We won’t leave your side if you don’t want us to. Austin and Hawk will run interference too.”
“Thanks.” I relaxed a bit, not realizing until then that I’d been nervous. “It’s been a really long time, you know?”
“Well, it’s time to get back on the horse then.”
“Ha!” I retorted.
“I’ll see you in a few hours.”
I smiled. “Sounds good. ’Bye.”
“’Bye,” Dani said, and hung up.
I glanced around my little apartment and shook my head. How different my life was compared to how I had envisioned once upon a time. I had a really good job with a large insurance company, which afforded Maverick and me the ability to rent a clean but small two-bedroom apartment in Vancouver, Washington. We were finally starting to break through the years of struggle when I wouldn’t have made it without my parents’ help.
Once my dad had come to terms with my pregnancy, he became the best grandfather on the planet. Carter had left the day after I’d told him and I never heard from him again. If my parents heard any updates, they kept them from me, knowing I would have been unable to deal.
An unexpected friendship with Carter’s older brother, Jaxon, had been a surprise,
and he was actually the one who helped me get settled in Vancouver. He was an FBI agent and lived in Portland, so was close if I needed him. I rarely did and he kept his distance, but he’d check in every now and then.
I had lost all contact with Aidan around the same time as Carter left and I have no idea if either of them knew where I was or if they even cared. I guess for now, my sadness was replaced most days with a sort of fog that at least meant I wasn’t overwhelmed with thoughts of what could have been.
“Mav, baby, we’re going to a party tonight, so let’s get you showered.”
“Aw, Mom, do I have to?” he whined.
“Yeah, buddy, you have to. I don’t want people thinking I don’t know how to keep you clean and fed.”
“Can I just tell them I’m a homeless kid you found on the street?”
I nearly choked on my intake of breath. Sometimes, he’d come out with these one-liners that were far too funny and mature for a five-year-old. “Holy moly, kiddo, you need to warn Mom when you’re going to make me laugh like that.”
He smiled. “Does that mean I can skip the shower?”
“Nice try, but no.”
He grumbled again.
“Miss Harris, I mean, Mrs. Carver will be there, so you want to look your best, right?”
His face brightened. “Yeah! She’s awesome.”
“I know. I’ll shower first, then you can while I put on my face.”
Maverick wrinkled his nose. “Your face is already on.”
I giggled. “It’s a figure of speech.”
He shrugged and went back to his drawing. He loved art. He always had. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised, considering I’m technically artistic, but I was never able to draw like that… I didn’t have the patience to sit in one place for long enough.
We arrived at the Dogs of Fire compound just after seven. I was very lucky to have a kid who was go-with-the-flow, considering I had more of a need for structure, but he was just happy all the time. I couldn’t imagine my life without him, I just wished sometimes he could have been Carter’s rather than Pierre’s.
Dani met us at the front door and scooped Maverick into a big hug. “How’s my favorite student? I’m gonna miss you next year.”
“I’ll visit, Mrs. Carver,” he said.
“I can’t wait. Do you want to come see what they’re doing in the kids area? I think there’s a video game battle happening.”
“Can I, Mom?” he asked, his face bright with hope.
“Of course, bud. Let’s go.”
We made our way through the kitchen and to an area at the back with a huge kids’ area and a couple of older teenage girls who were on babysitting duty. They seemed pretty solid and they were interacting with the kids, so I relaxed knowing Mav was in good hands.
“Ever since Payton and I forced our way in, there’s always plenty of wine,” Dani said as she pulled a bottle from the wine rack on the kitchen counter.
“Yeah, they’ve classed up the joint.” An older woman with a lot of makeup and teased bleach-blonde hair grinned. “I’m Susie. Prez’s old lady.”
I shook her hand and smiled. “I’m Cassidy. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too, hon.”
“What can we do to help?” Dani asked.
“Nothing. Pig’s on the spit and we got more food comin’, so we’re good for now,” Susie said. “I’ll let you know when we’re ready to eat. You can help then.”
“Sounds good.” Dani handed me a glass of wine and led me back into a large common room quickly filling with people. The space was chock full of sofas, overstuffed chairs, a pool table, large flat-screen television, several smaller tables that older kids gathered around for board games, and three outdoor picnic tables.
“There you are. I’ve been lookin’ everywhere for you,” Booker said, and leaned down to kiss Dani.
She giggled, breaking the kiss and slipping her hand into his back pocket. “Liar. You knew exactly where I was the entire time. You remember Cassidy, right?”
Austin “Booker” Carver took his eyes off his wife for a few seconds to smile and give me a chin lift. “Hey, Cassidy.”
“Hi, Booker. Good to see you again.”
We stood and chatted for a little while, pausing to greet Payton and Hawk who arrived half an hour later. Lily was excited to get back and see her friends, so we took her back and she fell right in with Maverick. I had a moment of intense pain when I watched them, heads together, as Maverick showed her how to use one of the video game controllers. This was about the same time I met Carver and, cockroach aside, he was just as patient with me as Mav was with Lily.
I laid my hand on my stomach and took a few calming breaths, before putting a bright, if not somewhat forced, smile on my face and followed Payton back out to the common room. I wondered if I’d ever stop loving him.
When nature called, I headed to the bathroom and once I was done, I washed my hands and pulled open the door. I nearly ran into a couple making out heavily in the hallway, and couldn’t stop a tiny gasp as I steadied myself. “Sorry. Excuse me.”
“No problem, babe,” a deep voice said, but when the man turned to look at me, all time stood still.
I swallowed as I looked into the face of one Carter Michael Quinn. His hand up some woman’s shirt, hers was down his pants, but they righted themselves as I gawked at them.
His face still just as gorgeous as I remembered, but his hair was quite a bit longer, some of it falling over his forehead as he shook his head. He wore dark jeans that sat low on his hips, motorcycle boots with buckles on the side, and a tight long-sleeved, black tee, with a leather vest over the top. The back of the vest proudly displayed the Dogs of Fire logo. He was just as tall as he’d always been, but he was now much, much wider. He’d obviously spent a great deal of the last few years working out, and his arms were bigger than my head, so it was apparently working.
He jumped away from the woman as though he’d just been caught cheating and his face contorted into rage. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he bellowed.
I was so shocked by the force with which he was speaking to me, I burst into tears. He had never raised his voice at me, not even when he was mad, and to have him yell at me so angrily was a total shock to the system.
“I…I…have to go,” I hiccupped, and turned to make a run for it. I didn’t even get one step away before I was dragged to face him again.
“I asked you a fuckin’ question, Cassidy. What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Ace, baby.” The woman we’d both seemed to have forgotten about pushed away from the wall.
“Take a hike, Lisa,” Carter said, his eyes never leaving me.
“But…”
“Babe, fuck off.”
I drew in a deep breath and bit my lip. He had never spoken to anyone like that before, and to see her expression go from disappointment to irritation, indicated to me that perhaps this was a first for her as well.
“Fuck you, Ace.”
“Maybe later,” he retorted, still staring at me, his beefy hand wrapped around my bicep.
She huffed and stomped down the hallway, leaving us to our reunion.
“Holy shit.”
I turned to see Aidan Quinn walking towards us. “You’re here too?”
He glanced at Carter and then back at me. “Where the hell have you been, Cass?”
“I…ah…around.” I looked up at Carter again. “Can you let me go, please? I should leave.”
“You’re not goin’ anywhere. What the fuck are you doin’ here, Cass?” Carter repeated.
“I was invited.”
“Cassidy?” Dani called as she rushed to join us. “Are you okay?”
“Get your fuckin’ hands off her, Ace,” Booker warned.
“Stay the fuck out of this, Book.” Carter still continued to stare at me. “Answer the question, Cassidy.”
“You know him?” Dani asked.
I nodded. “I used to.”
�
��Fuck!” Carter bellowed.
Aidan just laughed.
“I should go home,” I said again.
“No fuckin’ way,” he ground out. “You’re comin’ with me.”
Booker stepped closer. “Ace.”
“I swear to fuckin’ Christ, Booker, you interfere, and you and I are gonna have a problem.”
“Then you’ll have a problem with me too, Ace,” Hawk said as he made his way towards us, Payton following her face showing concern.
“Are you fuckin’ shittin’ me?” Carter bellowed again.
“Can you please stop yelling, Carter?” I whispered, still trying to bring my emotions under control. “You’re giving me a headache, not to mention scaring the hell out of me.”
“Nobody calls me Carter anymore, Cassidy,” he said in warning.
“Not even your parents?” I challenged. “Or have you wiped them from your lives, too?”
“Fuck!”
I yanked my arm from his grasp and shoved at his chest. “Stop posturing, Cart… Ace, whatever you want to be called now. When did you become such a bully? If your mom heard you right now, she’d smack you upside the head!” My tears quickly dried up, although, the hiccupping continued until I took a few calming breaths.
I heard male chuckling behind me, but I didn’t look… mostly because I couldn’t stop staring at Carter. Good lord, the man could still render me immobile and, even though he was yelling and swearing more than I’d ever heard him, I knew he’d never hurt me. And damn it if seeing him in person didn’t drive home how much I really still loved him.
He ran his hands through his hair then dragged them down his face. “You should go.”
“Okay,” I whispered, and started to head down the hall to get Maverick. Again, I didn’t get far.
“Wait,” Payton said. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you can’t just chase her out.”
“Babe,” Hawk warned.
“What, Alex? Cassidy has as much right to be here as Ace. If he’s so hell-bent on not seeing her, then perhaps he should leave.”
“Actually, Ace has more of a right to be here, it being his club and all,” Hawk countered.
“Hawk,” Payton warned.
“It’s fine, Payton. I’ll just grab Maverick and go,” I said.
Road to Absolution Page 3
