I couldn’t see or hear Romanus and Rouen, but I knew they were around. They would take the night watch. Naz stepped out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, and he made his way to me. I rolled over to face him, my body still pressed against the length of Charlie’s. Naz didn’t speak, just climbed beneath the covers in nothing but tight boxer shorts. His hair smelled like cheap hotel soap. As he slipped in, I could see the brand new pink scar on his thigh. The gargoyle healing gift was truly amazing.
Naz turned his back to me, and I felt the sting of his rejection. I sucked in a breath and tried to calm my emotions by staring at his tattoos. It was the first time I’d ever seen them in the light. They were huge black wings, glinting like midnight darkness, deep blues and hints of silver making them look almost real. I recognized them, of course. They were Luc’s wings.
I didn’t understand what that meant. Why would he tattoo Lucifer’s wings on his back?
It physically pained me not to reach out and touch him, but I held back, giving him his space. I moved closer to Charlie, seeking his comfort.
Naz shot out a leg and hooked it around mine. It was only a little contact, but I instantly felt better. I couldn’t distinguish whose emotions were whose anymore.
Charlie wrapped an arm around my waist, his hand tucked beneath my side. “Sleep, Estrella,” he whispered against my hair. Sandwiched between the two of them, I slept and dreamed of blood and scales.
Chapter Nine
When I woke up, I was alone in bed and light was just beginning to pierce the curtains. Charlie sat across the room, his laptop in front of him, a frown on his face. He chewed on his bottom lip as he concentrated, his fingers moving quickly across the keys.
No one else was here.
“Where is everyone?”
Charlie startled at the sound of my voice. “They went out. Secret pack business, I guess.”
I didn’t like the tone of his voice.
I stood up, and realized that at some point during the night, someone had peeled me out of my jeans. I strode over to Charlie and put my hands on my hips. I gave him my scariest look.
“Right, Charles Mulligan. We have talked about anything and everything since we were six, and we aren’t going to start being passive aggressive now. Get it all out in the open, because I know you are pissed. I don’t need a special magical bond to see that.”
Charlie stood, a scowl on his face. For the first time in his life, Charlie looked almost scary. “What do you want to talk about, Rella? The fact that, despite literally telling me two days ago that you had feelings for me, you went and tied yourself to not one, but three other men? That you turned a member of my family into a weird hybrid creature? That you might have turned yourself into some kind of hybrid? The Gargoyles are fucking demons, Rella. Can they even die? What does that mean for you? For them? Hell, can Naz even die now? You just don’t think. You barrel into everything with barely a thought for anyone, even yourself, because you have some weird belief that you are damned or bad. But you aren't.”
He lurched toward me, and I almost flinched back, but it was Charlie. He held my face in his large, warm hands. “You aren't. You are beautiful and kind. You have the emotional range of a frat boy, but you go above and beyond for anyone who you think is the underdog. You've collected broken animals, broken things, broken people all your life, and you glue them all back together, and when they get emotionally attached to you, you freak out and send them to Hope. Or set them free. But you can’t set your new toys free now, Rella. This is permanent. And it means that this dream I’ve had since I was a boy, where you love me so much it hurts, that you actually lean on me, is gone and now I don’t know what the fuck to do.”
He was panting like he’d run a one-minute mile, his cheeks were red and his eyes were glassy. I’d fucked up so bad somewhere along the way, I’d hurt so many people, and I felt like this big sinkhole of guilt was about to swallow me up. If only I could pinpoint where I went wrong. Why couldn’t I be Hope, just for a moment, so I could just know what would make him feel better, to just know the right words to say to soothe the pain that was ravaging his expression?
He was right. I did have the emotional range of a frat boy, but not with Charlie. Charlie I loved without reservation.
I stepped into his space and looked him in the eye. I gave him all the silent warnings I could about my next move, giving him the chance to run, to preserve whatever it was we had now. But he didn’t. So when I went to kiss him, it was like two steam trains colliding on a rickety bridge. I wasn’t sure either of us would survive.
Charlie’s mouth slammed against mine as he kissed me angrily. His hand fisted in my hair and he held it tight, not letting me move an inch. That was okay. I didn’t want to move. Our teeth clacked as he forced his tongue between them, his lips branding mine. I made an angry noise and bit his lower lip, then sucked it between my own. My hands clung to his shoulders, my nails digging into the muscles beneath his t-shirt. I didn’t want to let him go.
He pulled my head back by my hair and turned it to the side so he could kiss and nip down my neck. I sucked in a breath.
“Charlie.” My whisper was rough, choked out around the weird tumult of emotions that clogged my throat. He stiffened at the sound of his name and pulled away.
“No,” he ground out, stepping back. “No. Not like this.”
He turned around and strode out the door.
And then I was truly alone. A sob escaped my lips, and I startled at the sound. How weird is that? Then I sobbed again, and again, and soon tears were trailing down my face, hot streaks that cooled on my skin. I never cried like this. Not even when I broke my arm. Or when I thought Hope was dead.
Rella? Hope’s mental voice was like a balm, as always. Never alone. I had her. No one would take her from me again. The anger and darkness swelled back up, replacing the pain.
I’ve fucked up, Sis. I fucked up big time. And I don’t even have the decency to feel bad about it. If I had my chance again, I don’t think I’d change anything, except the fact that I’ve hurt so many people.
A massive push of love and reassurance came down my bond. Bonds. I could feel Romanus and Rouen giving me the same warm feelings as Hope.
It just made me cry harder.
Come see me, Rella. You’re still in New York? It wasn't a real question. She knew exactly where I was.
Yeah. I’ll fly to Europe tomorrow if I can get the jet. I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes on my forearm. I straightened my shoulders. I needed to get my shit together. We needed to sort this out, but first, I needed my sister. I’ll be there in an hour?
They released me yesterday, so I’m home. Bring bagels. I let out a little laugh. Hope had an addiction to starchy carbs, yet somehow it never went to her ass. Or mine. Maybe we had supernatural metabolisms?
As if I’d summoned them by my will, Romanus and Rouen were standing outside the motel doors when I walked out. They fell into step beside me. I didn’t protest, being with them made me feel better.
“Charlie?” I asked Rouen, who seemed fonder of my Charlie than Romanus.
But it was Romanus who answered. “Naz has him.”
I didn’t even want to know what that meant, but Naz liked Charlie too. They were both satellites spinning around the shit show of my life.
We walked a couple of blocks over and hailed a cab. I could afford the fare and I didn’t feel like sitting in the stinking underground for an hour. The cabbie pulled over, smiling at me. Quite frankly, a smiling New York City cab driver was harder to believe than two gargoyles. His smile crumbled when Rouen and Romanus slid in either side of me. It was understandable. They looked like scary walls of muscle. He didn’t know that Rouen had a wicked sense of humor that was so far beyond dirty it may as well be pornographic. He didn’t know that Romanus had a quiet intensity that hid an ancient soul, or that he loved Rouen ferociously.
Despite the turmoil, the heartache and the uncertainty, I knew I hadn’t been lying to Hope. I wouldn
’t change anything. I might not have wanted to be Romanus and Rouen’s Queen, but it felt right. I reached for each of their hands and threaded my smaller fingers through theirs and pulled them both onto my lap.
The smile Rouen gave me threatened to explode my heart. Romanus’ face didn’t change, and he didn’t turn to look at me, but I could feel the happy hum along his bond. No one said anything, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. Well, except for the glares that cabbie kept giving us in the rear-view mirror. He looked at me like I was the Devil incarnate. Little did he know. I gave him an exaggerated wink and tried not to laugh at his indignant grunt.
We pulled up at Hope’s apartment, and I threw some cash at the cabbie. He didn’t even wait until Rou was out of the cab completely before he peeled away from the curb. Rude.
“You guys don’t have to come up, you know. I’m safe in there with Hope and Adnan.”
Romanus frowned. “I don’t trust her new bodyguard.”
I laughed. “Good instincts, but I can handle Blue.” I knew his mother. Tootsie Halloran may be second or third cousin to the Mulligans, but the blood still ran strong. She took no shit, not even from her son and she was one of the few Mulligan aunts who liked me just as much as she liked Hope. “I mean it guys, I’ll be fine.”
Romanus gave me a hard stare, and then nodded once.
“We will walk you to her door.” It wasn't a suggestion. I just rolled my eyes and strode into the building. I waved to Henry the Doorman. Henry gave the guys a cursory glance, but if there was anyone who was the very epitome of a New Yorker, it was Henry. He was used to the strange people who came and went from Hope and Adnan’s apartment. Actually, next to some of Adnan’s artsy friends, the Gargoyles were downright average joe.
We rode the lift up to Hope’s apartment. The air of awkwardness between us was almost as bad as the elevators music.
“We’ll have to talk tonight. All of us,” I told them as the doors closed, and Romanus nodded. Rouen moved with supernatural speed until he was in front of me.
He lifted me up and pressed me against the elevator wall. He kissed me fervently, his hands under my ass and his whole body pressed tightly against mine. I kissed him back, of course. The man had hundreds of years of experience. He kissed like a freaking god. Who was I to resist? I swirled my tongue against his and he moaned, pulling away.
“Rouen,” Romanus growled. “We talked about this.”
Rouen grinned, completely unrepentant. “I don’t have your self control. Besides, I just needed one for the road.”
He eased me down, but I was still pressed hard against his body. Best slide of my life. “Am I missing something?”
Romanus shook his head. “We’ll talk about it later.”
I frowned at him. “Maybe I want to talk about it-” The elevator chimed and the doors slid open on my floor. I scowled and Romanus just smiled, the bossy jerk. The corners of my lips tugged up but I refused to give him the satisfaction.
“Call us through the bond when you are ready to leave.”
I raised my eyebrows. “How?”
“You just reach out, grab it tightly and give it a firm tug. We’ll come,” Rouen said, grinning. I ignored the innuendo and flipped him the bird. This time I couldn't resist the smile as the doors closed.
I walked to Hope’s door, but I didn’t need to knock. Adnan was there, pulling open the door, grinning. “I was watching you through the peephole like a dirty voyeur,” he announced, pulling me into a tight hug.
“Hey Ads,” I said and hugged him back. Like Hope, he was pretty universally loved. Even the conservative Mulligans loved Adnan, despite his sexual orientation. They didn’t have much choice. Clary, his adopted Mom and my Mom’s bestie, would kick their Irish asses if they disrespected her baby. And she did treat him like her flesh and blood and spoiled him terribly when he was a kid. But Ads turned out alright.
“Hope’s in the living room binge watching old 80’s rom coms. Says it’s medicinal. I say it's just sad.”
I walked down the short entry hall and into the wide living room. It somehow looked expensive, yet cozy. Hope had gotten all the artistic genes from my family. The fact that Adnan had an addiction to interior decorating magazines also helped.
Hope was curled up on an overstuffed dove grey sofa, a white fluffy afghan draped around her waist and a bag of M&M’s in her hand. The fact she was eating candy at ten in the morning never mattered to my twin.
“No bagels?” She looked crestfallen, and I mentally slapped my forehead. I’d forgotten completely.
“Sorry, Sis.”
She gave me that brilliant smile, the one that made it feel like the sun had come out just for you, and waved me over. “Don’t worry. Come here.”
She lifted the soft blanket and I sat down beside her, toeing off my boots so I could curl my legs under me. She passed me the bag of M&M’s.
“I left you the red ones,” she said as she paused Sixteen Candles.
I could feel the tears well, but I couldn't stop it. I wondered if Charlie was right, would I be immortal now? Would I have to bury my twin? I couldn’t live in a world where she wasn't with me. She wrapped me in her arms and stared at me with a face so like my own, but still so different. “Aw, Honey. What's wrong?”
“I became the Queen of the Gargoyles and now I am not sure I can even die.” It came out like one long wail, and she pulled away.
“What? You aren't making any sense.”
“I tied myself to Romanus and Rouen so I could save Nazir’s life, because he was tortured by an Estonian people smuggler.”
I didn’t see Adnan coming in from the kitchen, or I would have said it to Hope through our mental link. Adnan dropped the teacup he was holding, his face going pale. “What?”
Chapter Ten
I stood and went over to him, holding out my hands placatingly.
“He’s fine.”
Kinda, I clarified mentally to Hope. I think I might have made him some kind of gargoyle hybrid.
Adnan gripped my shoulders. “Where is he?”
I shrugged out of his grasp. “He’s with Charlie. He’s perfectly fine, as healthy as he’s ever been, I promise you that.”
Pretty sure he could be hit by a car now and not get a scratch, I said to Hope. How am I going to tell Adnan that I changed his brother irrevocably? Oh, and that I made him part of my gargoyle harem? Did I mention Charlie has had a crush on me since, well, forever and now he hates my guts?
I bent down and started picking up shards of teacup.
Everyone knew Charlie had a crush on you, except you. I’m sure he doesn't hate you. He probably just needs time to adjust to your, uh, situation. He’ll come around, Hope said soothingly.
I sniffed. “He said I’d crushed his dream,” I said out loud, my tone furious. “He said he won’t share me, and basically insinuated that I didn't give a shit about him for even asking.”
“What?” Adnan’s impeccable eyebrows pulled together then his jaw tensed angrily. “You guys are having one of those telepathic conversations again, aren't you? It’s just rude,” he huffed and then stormed out of the room.
I clenched my fist and realized belatedly that I was still holding the shards of the china teacup in my hand. I felt the slice along my palm, sucked in a breath at the sting.
I felt the alarm along my bond, and then they were moving towards me.
“Huh, so that’s what that was. I felt presences on the periphery of our bond but couldn’t work out what it was. You’ve bonded them. Naz too?”
I threw the bloody teacup in the trash can and sighed. “Yep. Just wait. They’re all coming because I cut myself.”
Hope frowned, and I wrapped my hand in a towel so I didn’t bleed all over her pretty afghan blanket when I climbed back in beside her.
“Be gentle. It’s a biological imperative.”
She gave me a questioning glance, but I shook my head. She’d find out soon enough.
Within minutes, two large bodies w
ere dwarfing Hope’s living room. They didn’t even bother to knock.
Rouen was on his knees in front of me in seconds, unwrapping the towel from my hand. “Sorry, but I can’t…” he trailed off, and I stroked my good hand over his hair.
“I know. Do what you need to do. This isn’t even close to the weirdest thing that’s happened this week.”
Rouen’s tongue lapped at the cut on my hand, the slight sting telling me it was healing. The warm glide was oddly erotic, and I snuck a look at Hope from the corner of my eye. Her nose was scrunched up in disgust, but I knew it was because she was squeamish about blood. She wouldn’t judge my guys.
Romanus looked on, his expression intense. I resisted the urge to beckon him to me. I wanted to touch him, but it could wait. It was enough to have him here, protecting me from invisible foes.
Speaking of which…
“Why don’t you have any bodyguards, Hope? Where’s Blue?”
Hope’s face went blank and she jammed our bond. Interesting.
“He’s gone back to Boston for a while.”
I narrowed my eyes at my twin. She wasn’t a good liar. I didn’t need the bond to tell me she was fibbing.
“Oh?” I said, raising an eyebrow. Luckily, she was saved by the arrival of Charlie and Naz.
Charlie barrelled into the room and into the arms of my twin.
“Damn it’s good to see you,” he said, holding her tight against his chest. He should have fallen for Hope. She was perfect for him. Sweet, loving. She never got into fights and his family adored her. She wouldn’t have dragged him into some harebrained plan that almost got him tortured.
“You too, Charlie. You feel like shit though.” She sounded disapproving. Hope’s disapproval made you feel two inches tall.
He just lowered his head and mumbled something to her under his breath. Apparently, he remembered my super-hearing this time. Whatever he said made her laugh, and he grinned back at her. Jealousy stabbed me in the heart and I turned away. Unfortunately, that meant I was looking straight at Naz.
Hell's Redemption- The Complete Series Boxset Page 42
