“Do I know you from somewhere?”
The guy smiled, his straight teeth glinting in the sun. “Maybe I was just a stranger on the bus?”
I blinked at him, but he was walking away whistling a familiar tune that I couldn’t quite place.
Well, that was weird.
I turned back to Azriel, who seemed to have missed the whole thing as he worried at his bottom lip with his teeth. He seemed anxious or perturbed or something completely un-Azriel like and I was getting a little worried.
“Let’s go home. We can figure this all out later, maybe after a bagel.”
I stood, brushing sand from my skirt. I grazed my hand against the rock, and I hissed out a breath as something clattered down the rocks and into the sand.
“Holy Jesus fucking Mary and Joseph,” Azriel whispered.
It was a sad indicator of where my life was headed that my first thought was ‘that’s a rather incestuous three-way’.
My second thought was that crazy string of blasphemous curse words coming from Azriel meant either we were about to die, or he’d finally snapped.
I whipped my head around, expecting Uriel or the apocalypse. But he was just staring at the sand.
More specifically, at the sword in the sand.
More specifically again, Michael's sword in the sand, the only weapon capable of killing an Archangel.
“Holy shit,” I whispered, looking around for Michael, who was surely on his way back here to collect the Sword of freaking St. Michael. But he didn’t reappear and we continued to stare. “Do we leave it here?”
“No!” Azriel yelled, leaning forward to pick the sword up, but hesitated. He shook his head, and reached out, wrapping his hand around the hilt until it suddenly it just...vanished.
“What the…Argh!” I said, as the sword reappeared at my feet. I jumped back like it was a spider the size of a football. Again, I looked for Michael, who hadn’t suddenly reappeared.
Azriel didn’t look nearly as freaked out as I did, but I guess he was used to things that disappeared and reappeared, considering that's what he did on the regular.
“I think you have to pick it up?”
I took a huge step back, stumbling in the loose sand. “No way. I am not touching that.”
“It is merely a sword. It can do nothing unless it is in your hand.”
I grinned, because I couldn’t help it. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
He blushed, making me laugh. I bent forward, wrapping my hand gingerly around the hilt. If only Gus was here to make a dirty joke.
I expected an immense weight; an item that could wield such a heavy toll ought to be heavy. Instead, it was light as air. It fit in my hand like it was made for me.
Azriel stared. I didn’t feel anything. There was no sword in the stone moment, no power filling my veins. No shining beam of heavenly light. Nada.
“Well, that was underwhelming.” I looked around, all of a sudden completely paranoid, like I was wearing a hundred grand Harry Winston through the ghetto. “We should go. If Michael needs his sword, he can come to the apartment.”
Azriel stepped forward, his body wrapped around mine. I breathed in the scent of him. I wished I could describe it, try to replicate it and bottle it, because it was intoxicating when I was this close to him. He smelled like light and life. Warm summer days, and the scent of that moment when a heatwave breaks. It was completely indescribable and I loved it.
The sword pressed between us, he sifted me back to the apartment, and I resisted the urge to puke all over the carpet. It was my carpet, and coffee colored puke was impossible to get out of the carpet fibers. Adnan had proven that to me on more than one occasion.
Thoughts of Adnan dampened my mood. I missed him, but he hadn’t even reached out when Estrella died. When Naz and Charlie had died. Not even a word as the other Mulligan’s rallied around. He’d completely ignored me as if I didn’t exist at the funeral. There was a gulf between us now that I wasn’t sure could be fixed by anything other than time.
I stood there for a moment, completely surrounded by Azriel, and I wanted nothing more than to leave my head on his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.
Azriel leaned close. “He gave me his blessing.”
I tilted my head back to meet his eyes. “Blessing to what?”
“To fall.”
I stepped out of his arms, my eyes wide. Did I miss that conversation?
Someone cleared their throat behind us, but I couldn’t drag my eyes away from Azriel’s face, trying to decipher his nearly inscrutable expression. Did he want to fall? Would he fall, for me?
“Hey lovebirds, what did Michael say?” Ace said, and I spun toward them.
There was an audible inhale in the room, and then Luc let out an inhuman roar.
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”
Chapter Thirty-Three
I sank to my knees as the sound of Luc’s voice pierced my brain. I dropped the sword and it clattered to the floor in front of me, and I slammed my hands over my ears. Azriel was in front of me in an instant, his body blocking me from Luc, although I could see Ace in front of her consort, her hands on his cheeks.
“Be calm, my love. It is Hope. She wouldn’t harm a soul. It is just a sword. Be calm.”
I wanted to fling the stupid thing across the room if it meant Luc stopped making that noise. Gus and Memphis were between us, though they both looked just as haunted as Luc, and torn. I was in pain, but then, so was Luc. He had been their friend, no closer than that, their brother, for more millennia than I cared to count. Their loyalties were divided, and the anguish on their faces broke my heart.
However, Rella had no such qualms, standing in front of me ready for a fight, although the noise didn’t seem to bother her. Actually, it didn’t seem to be bothering anyone other than me.
“What is he doing to her?”
Ace ignored her, as she spoke in a low voice to Luc, who was clutching his chest. It was Memphis who answered.
“It’s the sword. It is the one that tore him from heaven. Hope is succumbing to his pain.” I was starting to pant, but I crawled toward Luc. Gus, sensing my intention, bent over and picked me up and cradled me to his chest. I didn’t remove my hands from my ears, although I now knew the noise radiated from inside my head. Once we were close enough, I launched myself from Gusion’s arms and onto Luc’s body, finally moving my hands away so I could wrap my arms around Luc’s back.
I pushed every ounce of positivity I could muster from my empathic abilities. Every healing thought, soothing consolation I could think of I channeled through my hands. I channeled the love I felt for him, my gratitude for the fact that he was always there, that his love was all the more special to me because it was so rare. I channeled the love the guys felt for him, the fact that they would follow him to the very pits of Hell because they respected him so greatly. I pushed Lux’s admiration, and even Azriel’s long buried ties of friendship.
Lastly, I slapped a hand over his heart, and pushed just a fragment of Ace’s love for him. I pushed it as deep as I could with my newfound abilities, urging it to spread, this unending well of emotion that Ace felt for her consort. She loved him fiercely, and wading through their emotions felt like free diving in the very depths of the ocean; it was as beautiful as it was terrifying and painful.
I don’t know how long we all stood there, me clinging to the Luc’s back like a baby koala and Ace whispering to him in Latin. It felt like hours, but was probably no more than a few minutes.
Finally, he shuddered, and stood up straight. It was like seeing a phoenix shake itself and rise from the ashes.
He gave the sword one last haunted look where it laid abandoned on the floor. “We have our plan,” he said softly and disappeared from the room.
Ace stroked my hair, kissed my forehead and left too.
I stumbled back toward the couch and flopped down, suddenly exhausted. Blue wrapped his arms around me, and I soaked in his warmth.
“I shall take your father home, Hope. He is less… chatty,” Memphis added quickly.
Instead of being offended, Rella’s lips quirked. Uh oh, Memphis had done it now. He’d shown his weakness. Amateur mistake. Gusion laughed, and shook his head. He leaned down and kissed me softly. “I’ll be back, sweetheart. I should-”
I put a finger to his lips. “Luc is your friend. Take all the time you need. You too, Memphis. I’ll be fine here with Blue.”
Memphis opened his mouth to protest, but Azriel interrupted. “I will stay and watch that Uriel does not return for Hope.”
They both blinked at him, and Lux stepped forward, inserting himself in the conversation. He was like that, hiding in the shadows until he wanted you to know he was there. It was a skill he mastered as his time as a Spartan. You know, in Ancient Rome.
Don’t ask.
“She can come home until this is all done.”
But I was shaking my head before he’d even finished. I didn’t want to take this badness home with me. Mom was still reeling from Rella’s death, and none of my parents were as young as they used to be. No, they needed to stay out of it. If I could persuade Lux to stay home, I’d have been even happier. But that was extremely doubtful.
“I will be fine here with Blue and Azriel.”
Lux’s eyes shifted to Blue, and his eyes narrowed. “I am not comfortable leaving you alone with the Angel that killed your mother and the Mulligan’s number one hitman, Hope.” He used his stern Dad voice, and the urge to agree was almost overwhelming.
But I loved the Mulligan’s number one hitman, and Azriel… well. It was complicated.
I gave him my most reassuring smile. “I will be fine. They’d both rather chop off their hands than hurt me, Dad. I trust them with my life.”
Eyes narrowed, he looked between the two of them. “So much as a hair is hurt on her head, and I will fuck you up until you’ll wish you were dead and in one of Lucifer’s fiery pits.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes like an errant teenager, but Blue nodded almost immediately. Lux’s steely gaze caught Azriel’s and they had some kind of weird stare-off until Azriel dipped his head.
Apparently this was satisfactory man-speak, because I was up and hugging him goodbye before I knew it.
Memphis kissed me. “We will not be gone too long, but time moves differently in Hell.”
“I’ll be fine,” I promised.
As Memphis rested a hand on Lux’s shoulders, I remembered something. “Wait. Dad, you should take the sword. Keep it safe. I don’t want the responsibility.” If nothing else, my parent’s house had a vault that would make a Swiss bank jealous.
Lux inclined his head, and bent down to lift the sword. But as with Azriel, it just vanished, only to reappear at my feet.
“I do not think anyone is meant to wield it except the Archangel Michael,” Azriel said softly, “and now you.” I tried not to think of Michael’s words back at the club.
He wanted me to do what he could not.
He wanted me to kill Uriel.
I kicked it under the couch, and pretended at least for a little while it didn’t exist. The weight of this responsibility didn’t exist. Besides, no one would think to look under the couch for a magic sword.
Memphis looked at me like I was being completely sacrilegious, which I probably was considering it was a holy object. Lux shrugged off his scabbard, pulling out his own sword. “You’ll need this, I think.” He handed me the ancient leather scabbard, and kissed me on the top of the head. “Be safe, Kid. I can’t do another funeral.” His eyes were bottomless pits of misery. I nodded gently and gave him a reassuring smile.
Gus just winked at me, before disappearing with my twin and her growly yet oddly silent entourage.
Memphis and Lux left too, through the front door though because Lux didn’t enjoy the sifting thing. I could hear him protesting that he didn’t need an escort home from the hall. It was probably true, next to any being on earth, Lux could still hold his own, even at his age. But against an angel, and especially Uriel, I didn’t want to take the chance. Memphis knew that. I loved that Memphis knew that.
I loved Memphis.
The thought steadied me a little, at least until I looked up into the face of a whole different problem.
“You can’t fall because of me.”
Azriel stared down at me, completely silent.
“Uh, I’m gonna have a shower. I’m only a yell away, okay?” Blue said, as he stood and kissed my cheek.
When had they all decided that Azriel was one of them? Apparently, they’d bonded during my short captivity. Well, short for me.
I grabbed Azriel’s hand, and pulled him down beside me on the couch. “I’m serious, Azriel. A month ago you thought I was an abomination.”
“Yes.”
Lord save me from monosyllabic men.
I gave him my best withering look, but it didn’t seem to phase him. I crossed my arms over my chest and let the silence hang between us. I took stock of his features. Was it because I knew him better that he didn’t seem so cool, so inhuman anymore? Or did I have my rose-colored glasses firmly in place?
Azriel let his wings reappear, shifting them so they hung over the low back of the couch. I reached out and stroked the long white feathers, and he shuddered.
“You do not know. There was before you, and there is after you, Hope. I cannot go back to the angel I was before. I cannot forget…”
I swallowed hard. “Forget what?”
“The feel of your skin.” He let out a longing sigh. “Your breasts.”
I took a deep breath and tried to hold in the laugh that threatened to burst from my chest. Now was not the time to laugh.
“I understand all too well, Azriel. I feel things as well, more than any other person I know. I feel things for you. But I am an empath, I have tasted every emotion, including yours. Including the pain that Memphis and Gus still feel to this day, when they let down their guard and think about what they used to have when they still basked in the light of Heaven. And their pain is heart wrenching. I can’t be the cause of that kind of pain for you. I care for you too much.”
I put my hand in his, running my thumb over the smoothness of his palm. This was right. It was better to do this now, because it would hurt too much to let it go any further. It already hurt but I would survive.
“No.”
“Pardon?”
“I said no, Hope. It is my choice. A millennia ago, I let Lucifer fall, I took Acerezeal’s soul, I silently mourned Mephistopheles and Gusion’s damnation. Deep down, I wanted to fall with them. I believed what they believed. I had seen Gusion with his Daughter of Man, knew his love was pure and good. I knew that they had cause. But I followed the rules, did what I was told was right.” He turned to face me, cupping both of my cheeks in his palms. “This time I choose to do what my heart says. What is the Father’s purpose of giving us these emotions, if we are unable to embrace them? Feel the full depth of what the heart has to offer?”
One of his fingers ran along my lower lashes, catching the tears that still sat there. Then he sighed deeply, and leaned forward and kissed me.
It was a kiss that shook worlds, a kiss that I would struggle to describe, but I felt the gentle caress down to my soul. It changed something, that small press of lips, but I couldn’t find it in myself to regret it. In fact, as he pulled away, I chased his mouth with mine, pressing one more hard kiss to his full lips. It was a promise of something more. It was a promise that I would catch him if he fell.
He leaned into the kiss hesitantly, like he was cataloguing every sensation as it h
appened. I sat perfectly still as he sucked my bottom lip between his, ran the tip of his tongue across my teeth, combed his fingers through my hair. I resisted the urge to press my body into his, to rush this moment.
He pulled away, breathing heavily. His eyes were wide and wild. I realized I was sucking in air as well.
“How could I ever go back to believing that these feelings I have for you are wrong?”
I couldn’t argue against something I wanted too, despite me playing Devil’s Advocate. Heh. I leaned forward, and kissed him hotly. I wanted to show him that they weren’t all chaste kisses and gentle exploration. Emotion, sex, love; they were messy and heartbreaking and so wonderful you wondered how you could survive if they were ever gone. And they would be gone. I would die in sixty or so years time, if I was lucky, and Azriel would have fallen for nothing.
I couldn’t save Gus and Memphis the heartache of my fragile humanity, and it was doubtful now that I would be going anywhere but down, so it was okay. I could look forward to an eternity with them, in Hell.
But Hell was like the Wild West from what I’d heard from the guys, and Azriel was law and order. He would hate it, and eventually, he would hate me.
But I couldn’t stop. I kissed him harder, this time I was exploring him, tasting him. I let out a surprised squeak as he picked me up and placed me on his lap, pressing me against the flat, hard planes of his body. Oh boy.
He let out a happy little hum of pleasure as I straddled his thighs, his hands on my hips pulling me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck, threading them through the pale hair that was so blonde it was almost white. If I only had him for a little while, I wanted to consume him, body and soul.
But I wouldn’t let him fall.
I pulled away, and slid off his lap.
“If we are going to embrace the dark side, let’s order pizza and eat it in bed while having a Harry Potter movie marathon.”
“Harry Potter?”
I shook my head. I held out my hand, and pulled him to his feet. “It’s a series that came out when my parents weren’t dinosaurs. Prepare yourself for some movie magic, Angel-Boy.”
Hell's Redemption- The Complete Series Boxset Page 82
