Tsuneko comforted Shintaro and instilled him with confidence. She had become a part of his ego – his superego even. But now Tsuneko was dead.
Mummy. You’re an awful mother. Why did you die? You died to make me suffer. Don’t you know I’m lost without you, Mummy? Do you want to make me suffer? How mean of you!
For Shintaro, Tsuneko’s death was a woman’s betrayal of a man. And there wasn’t one person who could comfort him by saying otherwise.
Once the chanting was over, Shintaro’s hysterical sobbing could be heard throughout the room. Anyone else would have been drowned out by this wailing. But when Nanase extended her telepathic antennae, she couldn’t find a single guest who was grieving. Most of them were laughing at Shintaro’s ridiculous behaviour.
One of his colleagues who was acting as an usher was having trouble holding in his laughter.
This is no ordinary crying. I’m sure they had an incestuous relationship.
Even as he was recalling some of the sick jokes passed around the office, he put on a grave face. “Now for the offerings of incense. First the son of the deceased, Mr Shintaro Shimizu.”
Shintaro didn’t even have the strength to stand up. He crawled his way to the altar, his shoulders shaking. The consciousnesses of the guests reverberated with laughter at the sorry spectacle. Sachie grew hot with embarrassment.
Shintaro, his eyes puffed and red from crying, made his offering of incense, all the while ranting senselessly in his mind.
You flung me into this den of wolves. All alone. You ran away from me. I’m not gonna do what you want me to any more. ’Cause you’ve been a bad Mummy. I’ll show you. I’ll be a bad boy.
I’ll be a bad boy.
When Shintaro was little, Tsuneko always warned him to stay away from bad boys. “Even if they ask you to play with them, just ignore them. If they start pestering you, Mummy will chase them away,” she’d say.
But isn’t the world full of bad people? You’re the one, Mummy, who told me not to have anything to do with them. That’s why I don’t know what to say to them. You’re not to chase them away for me any more, are you?
Shintaro had collapsed in tears in front of the altar. Two male relatives had to drag him away.
Everyone around me is bad. Tell me what to do. Everyone’s picking on me. Everyone’s laughing at me. Chase them away, Mummy. I don’t know how to.
Sachie slowly made her offering of incense three times before Tsuneko’s photograph. Tsuneko was wearing rimless glasses and looked younger than her years. Her stern expression stared down at Sachie. When Sachie looked up at it, her heart filled with resentment.
Mother, you lied to me!
Tsuneko had come to Sachie’s parents, who ran a large men’s apparel store downtown, to suggest marriage between her son and Sachie. Shintaro had been shopping at the store and had been smitten with Sachie, who happened to be helping out there. As he always did whenever he wanted anything, he pleaded with Tsuneko to get her to marry him.
Before the formal marriage meeting, Shintaro did not attempt to speak to Sachie even once. If he had and she had responded coldly, his sensitive ego would have been wounded on the spot. Shintaro was both aware of and afraid of this. Tsuneko took care of everything.
I plan to build a house for Shintaro. I’d just get in the way of the newly-weds. I still have my health, so I’ll be fine on my own.
Both Sachie and her parents felt well disposed towards the friendly Tsuneko. Sachie’s parents, who were relatively modern, were impressed by the eager and straightforward manner in which Tsuneko proposed the marriage, dispensing with most of the traditional matchmaking fuss. Sachie too saw Tsuneko as a modern-minded mother liberated from tired old customs.
She acted like a saint until we got married. She was always so kind, buying me things. A beautiful engagement ring.
She seemed so easy to talk to. Graduate of a women’s academy, intellectual. And rich.
Her late husband headed a group of trading companies. Her son’s bright. And quiet. Graduated from a good university top of his class. On an elite track at his company.
Her only son, so, of course, the entire inheritance.
The big house itself is worth a small fortune. Just the land.
The family exchanged such comments among themselves ad infinitum. Six months later, Sachie and Shintaro were married.
However, Tsuneko never kept her promise to build them a house.
Mum’s sickly. We’ve got to live with her. The house is so big anyway.
At first, Shintaro seemed a bit guilty as he made excuses to Sachie. Even if we build a new house, we’ll end up moving back here when Mother dies, thought Sachie, and she tried to make the best of it. Of course, if she actually said as much to Shintaro, she knew he would accuse her of waiting for Tsuneko’s death. So she kept quiet.
The reality was that Shintaro himself was unable to break away from his mother.
Once Sachie entered the family, Tsuneko’s manner changed abruptly, and she started haranguing her daughter-in-law.
We don’t need a new house. To go through all that trouble just for her sake. She’s a member of our family now. I’m not going to live apart from you.
Tsuneko would talk like this to Shintaro.
She would deliberately speak in a loud voice. She wanted me to hear her. She wanted to torture me.
After finishing her offering of incense, Sachie glared at Tsuneko’s photograph for a while.
What on earth am I to this family? A nuisance. An object of hate. Not worthy of their attention. Or am I a toy? A discarded toy? A maid?
One after another, the relatives came up to the altar to offer incense. Nanase couldn’t find anyone who was genuinely mourning Tsuneko’s death. They still bore grudges from past humiliations, and they recalled incidents when she had ignored or insulted them.
Her whole world revolved around her son. He was her lover.
She was a pompous fool. A possessive mother. An intellectual with the brains of a monkey.
She slept with her son.
She was sleeping with her son!
There was a grain of truth here.
Even after Nanase came to work at the Shimizus, Shintaro would often sleep in Tsuneko’s bedroom. Nanase had no idea what sweet nothings these two might have exchanged. But she did know that even when Shintaro slept alongside Sachie, they never talked like husband and wife. Nanase’s room was directly across from their bedroom, so the couple’s thoughts and feelings were constantly floating about her room. Even if Nanase didn’t deliberately eavesdrop, any conversation they might have could not escape her notice.
As far as Nanase could tell, the couple didn’t even have sexual relations. Judging by their mutual lack of interest, Nanase concluded that they had not touched each other for at least a year. Sachie had yet to experience an orgasm and didn’t seem to care very much. She was still unable to think of herself as Shintaro’s wife. She was painfully aware, however, that she was Tsuneko’s daughter-in-law.
Things will get a bit easier for Sachie. Her three years of suffering are over.
So thought Sachie’s father as he offered incense. But Nanase knew that Sachie’s real troubles were just beginning. For now with his mother dead, Shintaro was emotionally stranded.
My son-in-law’s an idiot. Sachie’s two elder sisters are making a go of it. What a shame! That Sachie had to get stuck with this guy. Maybe he’ll come to me for advice. I might be able to convince him to treat Sachie better.
Sachie’s father didn’t realize that Shintaro hated him even more than he himself hated Shintaro. He was the last person Shintaro would turn to for advice or support. From Shintaro’s viewpoint, anyone who cared more for Sachie than for him was a natural enemy. With the hypersensitivity of a narcissist, Shintaro had intuited that everything Sachie’s father had ever said to him originated from a fatherly concern for Sachie, and he took this as a personal offence.
You can’t let down your guard with him. In a roundabou
t way, he’s asking you to build a house. This show of concern is just a way for him to unleash his resentment. He claims that he’s worried over your future, but his daughter is the only one he really cares about.
What he’s saying is that he wants you to work harder for Sachie’s sake.
Tsuneko had often spoken like this to Shintaro, making him distrust and resent his father-in-law.
She had taught Shintaro to disdain and make fun of everyone, not just relatives. Shintaro’s condescending attitude, now second nature, was the product of Tsuneko’s education. So Shintaro wasn’t being paranoid when he felt that everyone around him was his enemy. He really was hated.
He’s not stupid, but he’s always fighting with his colleagues. I’m through looking after your son.
Shintaro’s boss, head of the engineering department, spoke to Tsuneko in his mind while he offered incense. Shintaro’s father had done him a favour once, so at Tsuneko’s request he had recommended Shintaro for a position in his company and placed him in his own department. Shintaro’s academic record was excellent, so he hadn’t seen the harm in hiring him at the time. Now he wished he had paid more attention to the kind of person Shintaro was.
I made a mistake. What makes it my job to play up to your son? I’m sick of it and I’m sick of him. No more. I’ve had it. I’ve more than fulfilled my obligations. After your husband died, you were under the delusion that you wielded the same authority over people. What a pain in the neck you were. But I don’t have to play up to your delusions any longer.
I’m through looking after your son.
He’s twenty-seven – a grown man. I feel sorry for him, but…
His talent’s going to waste, but… The score is even now.
Shintaro was about to be forsaken by the one person in the company who had looked out for him. Everyone else had given up on Shintaro a long time before. His selfishness and obstinacy were more than any normal person could put up with.
No one denied that Shintaro had a special talent for his job. But in a large company, efficient teamwork was more important than individual genius.
His skills are superb, and he’s got the ability to develop new technology. But he’s unable to compromise. If he can’t get his own way, he throws a fit. He refuses to take orders. Sulks. Hates working with others. Makes fun of his co-workers. Starts his own projects without permission. Won’t recognize anyone else’s opinion. Gets into a huff. A loner. Hysterical. Vents his anger at everyone. Violent. Breaks things. Cries when reprimanded. Then runs home in tears. So he can tell Mummy. Afterwards she calls me at home late at night. Endless complaints.
But he can’t run home to Mummy any more.
She’ll never call me again. I’ve been too soft on them. Too soft on both mother and son. It’s just him now.
I’m washing my hands of him.
There’s nothing else I can do.
Nanase felt the department chief was perfectly justified in abandoning Shintaro. Trying to cater to Shintaro’s whims had created even more problems with the other workers.
Nanase herself planned to leave when the funeral was over. She was curious to see what would happen to Shintaro, but most likely he would leave his job and then take out his frustrations on Sachie and even Nanase. She had no intention of babysitting a spoilt twenty-seven-year-old. In any case, Nanase had been hired to look after Tsuneko, and now that she was dead, there was no reason to stay.
He should fall as far as he can, thought Nanase. Once he hits rock bottom, he’ll either pull himself together or not, depending on his own efforts and how much Sachie helps him. Nanase felt sorry for Sachie, but her problems were no concern of hers.
In my situation, I can’t afford to worry about anyone else, thought Nanase as she made her way to the altar. She was the last to offer incense. As Nanase predicted, the guests suddenly turned curious eyes towards her, and their various speculations and lewd fantasies came flooding into her mind.
Who is she? She’s pretty. A real beauty.
Why is such a pretty girl working as a maid?
I wonder if she’s a relative.
From among the minds of the many guests focusing their attention on her, Nanase suddenly picked up a bizarre thought that was so weak it seemed on the verge of fading away. Somebody was denouncing Sachie in their mind.
Sachie. I’ll get you.
Nanase wondered who it was. She was surprised to find someone among the guests who hated Sachie that much. But in a matter of moments the weak signals were drowned out by the speculations going on inside the minds of all the other guests.
Twenty-two or twenty-three. No, probably younger.
She’s so pretty and in her prime. Why does she wear her hair that way? It doesn’t suit her at all.
With a figure like that she couldn’t be a maid.
She must be a girl helping out from the neighbourhood.
What proportions. Those hips. If she wore make-up, she’d be even…
The reaction was just as Nanase feared. Whether she wanted to or not, she had to recognize the incongruity between her childish hairstyle and her fully developed figure and good looks. What other girl would find her own body and pretty features such a burden or be afraid of men’s admiring glances? She dashed off to the kitchen as soon as she finished offering incense.
Nanase was seriously considering looking for a new line of work. She was almost twenty years old. She would miss the safety of being a maid, flitting from one family to another, never staying long enough for anyone to guess her powers. She hadn’t decided what she’d do next, but she would have to find a job where a pretty, unmarried girl wouldn’t attract suspicion and where her secret could be easily kept.
Tsuneko’s younger brother, Shigezo, came to the kitchen to talk to Nanase while she was putting away the dishes.
“Your name’s Nana, isn’t it?”
She looks much younger close up. What a waste for her to be a maid. Skin like rice cakes. If she’d use make-up, if she was wearing a nice dress…
Nanase’s body tensed as she nodded.
The forty-eight-year-old Shigezo directed his youth-starved middle-aged gaze at Nanase’s shapely breasts. “Do you plan to stay on here?”
I’ll hire you. If we’re living in the same house, at some point I’ll have a chance. I’ll buy you nice clothes.
“I guess you won’t be needed here any more.”
Sex. Young flesh. Sex.
Nanase nodded again.
“I’ve decided to quit being a maid.” If I lived in his house, I wouldn’t be able to sleep in peace, thought Nanase. She shuddered and dismissed him out of hand. But he didn’t seem to think it odd that she was working as a maid, so Nanase relaxed her guard a bit.
“That’s too bad.” The disappointed Shigezo decided to get his fill of her while he had the chance and stared unreservedly at her behind.
What a nice behind. Damn. If she had worked at my house…
This was the first time someone had wanted to hire Nanase with an ulterior sexual motive. She was right after all in thinking that it was time to stop being a maid.
“What are you planning on doing?”
Shigezo still hadn’t given up hope. He was thinking that even if she wasn’t his maid, he could seduce her one way or another.
We’ll be friends. Dates. An overnight trip. Jewellery.
Surprisingly enough, he even had confidence in his own looks. There was only one way left to discourage him.
“I’m getting married,” Nanase said.
Shigezo’s desires were instantly crushed. All at once he turned angry. His mind worked exactly like his sister Tsuneko’s.
“Get me some tea,” he said gruffly as he plopped himself down by the kitchen table. Meaningless sparks were flying inside his consciousness.
Flesh. Girls. My, my, my – sex. Hostesses. Nightclub hostesses. As much as you like. That kind of girl. Much better than her. Lots. Flesh. Flesh. Mymymy. My. Mine. Sex.
Fragments of feeli
ngs and bits of thoughts that even he couldn’t understand came bursting out of his id. He took one gulp of the tea that Nanase handed him nervously and then noisily stood up.
“It’s lukewarm.” He glared at Nanase and stormed out.
The funeral service seemed to have ended. There was a stir in the living room.
Nanase was preparing tea for the priest when Sachie came into the kitchen and whispered into her ear. “Nana, would you mind driving with us to the crematorium? We can leave the cleaning up to the people from the funeral parlour.”
Nanase quickly read Sachie’s mind before agreeing. Shintaro had completely gone to pieces, and Sachie was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to handle him alone.
They had already been carrying the coffin out of the house. Several men were trying to lower the coffin from the veranda into the garden while Shintaro clung to it, sobbing. Some male relatives tried to pull him away, but Shintaro shook them off and held on even more furiously. His ego was in a state of semi-collapse. He was no different from a screaming infant. You could even say that he was experiencing a kind of orgasm. Some of the guests, who could no longer control their laughter, turned and broke into grins. One after another, people were covering their mouths with their handkerchiefs and giggling.
I’ve never been to such an interesting funeral.
It’s like a comedy. If only I could take photographs.
Sachie, looking down in embarrassment, was walking next to the coffin, but as far away from her husband as possible. She had started hating Shintaro with a new-found intensity.
I have to consider it. Divorce. I have to consider it. I’ve nothing left to give him. What will Father say? I’ll discuss it with him.
This might be for the best, thought Nanase. With Shintaro in his present condition, what good is there in trying to help him? What Shintaro needs now is to undergo all sorts of trials. If he can’t bear up and goes crazy, then so be it. In Nanase’s opinion, a Shintaro driven berserk by his mother’s death would still be better off than a sane Shintaro unable to break away from his mother. At least he’d be one step closer to emotional independence.
Sachie. I’ll get you.
The Maid Page 14
