by Robin Roseau
“If they both beat me, do I owe you a bunch of days, too?”
“Of course. And that’s on top of your pack duty.” She looked between the three of us. “Does everyone understand?” There were two wolf chuffs, and I tried to make the same sound. All three of them looked at me, their heads cocked.
“What was that?” Michaela asked.
I hung my head. “A chuff?”
“No, it wasn’t,” she said. She laughed briefly again. “I’ll take it you understand. Let’s go.” She turned down the trail and jumped, coming down as a fox, then she looked over her shoulder, waiting for me to catch up. I began jogging to Michaela’s pace. A moment later, both wolves dashed past us, one on either side.
“I’m going to lose,” I said quietly. I glance down to my right at Michaela. She twitched an ear when I said it. And chuffed. “Are you teaching me a lesson?” Another chuff.
A moment later, there was a quick howl — I couldn’t tell from whose voice. And then a silver and black streak was aimed at us. I realized it was Lara. She leapt, and I cowered and screamed. With my hands over my head, I didn’t see where Lara went, but a moment later, I heard Michaela huff, and then Lara came up and snuck her nose in between my arms and bathed my ear with her tongue.
“I know,” I said. “Point to Lara.”
Lara chuffed then nudged me. I stood back up. Michaela gave me a moment and then set off down the trail again.
Twenty seconds later, Elisabeth appeared, running hard. She wasn’t quite as far away as Lara had been at her leap. I managed to avoid screaming.
But when a two hundred pound werewolf jumps at you from a running start, it is still a frightening sight. I shied away, stepping into the undergrowth to the side of the path and nearly tripping over my own feet. Michaela huffed.
The wolves were magnificent. I loved watching them. I couldn’t believe how high an far they could leap, and if I were just a tiny bit further away, I could enjoy watching.
We ran. Elisabeth and Lara followed along behind us, and then Lara ran ahead then suddenly, with no warning, turned around and jumped.
I screamed and ducked.
God, I was such a wimp.
Behind me, Elisabeth chuffed a few times. I looked over at Michaela, who was watching me. “Was that high enough?” She chuffed. “Does that chuff mean a point to me or a point to Lara?” Michaela lolled her tongue and huffed. I wasn’t terribly surprised.
Without warning, I turned up the trail and began jogging again. Michaela scrambled to catch up, and Lara went bounding ahead.
A moment later I jumped slightly as Elisabeth leapt over Michaela from behind us this time. She caught me entirely by surprised.
But I neither screamed nor cowered. Elisabeth disappeared around a bend in the path, and I looked down at Michaela to see how she would score it.
She looked up at me and then chuffed.
“Point to me?” I asked. She chuffed again. “Woo hoo! Point to Zoe.” I did a tiny little victory dance as we jogged down the path.
But I knew the little competition was going to heat up. Before, they’d been leaping over Michaela, but now they were going to be jumping over me, and I was pretty sure they would come as close as they could without actually touching me. I also knew Elisabeth played to win, and I presumed Lara would be at least as competitive.
Michaela and I turned the small bend in the trail, and there wasn’t a wolf in sight. Elisabeth and Lara had disappeared entirely. I was sure they each had something special planned for me. Michaela and I jogged along for another minute or so before I learned what it was.
Suddenly there was rustling from the underbrush to the left side of the trail. My head snapped in that direction in time to see a wolf leaping for me. I gasped, tripped over my own feet, and nearly tripped over Michaela as well. I went down as the wolf flew well over my head, although I got a good look at soft underbelly fur.
I landed hard, Michaela barely scrambling out from underneath me before I would have landed on her. I bounced slightly, coming to a skidding halt and banging the back of my head into the dirt. Then I lay there, stunned.
Michaela huffed — as if anyone wondered how I had done that time. And then she moved to my side. A moment later, a wolf was standing over me, sniffing at me. I stared upward, not moving.
Michaela shifted to human, kneeling beside me. “Are you all right?”
I turned my head to look at her. “Ouch.”
“I imagine,” she said. “Is anything broken?”
I wriggled my fingers and toes. Everything seemed to work, but my backside hurt. I rolled towards her, curling into a ball on the ground for a moment.
“Everything seems to work,” I said. “I didn’t see which wolf it was.”
“Lara,” Michaela said. “Three to nothing with Lara, one-one with Elisabeth. Are you ready to get up?”
I nodded. Michaela helped me to sit then brushed the dirt, leaves and twigs from my hair. I turned to her.
“I don’t belong here, Michaela,” I said quietly.
She frowned, and from beside me, Lara huffed repeatedly. “We’ll talk about it later,” Michaela said. “But you’re wrong.”
I considered it. “We can talk about it another time,” I agreed. I climbed to my feet, Michaela offering additional assistance. I brushed off a little further and catalogued my injuries. Nothing was broken, but I knew I was going to be sore for a day or two, and our game was only half over. Michaela turned me towards her.
“I wouldn’t have been surprised,” she said, “but if I had been, I probably would have reacted in a similar fashion.”
“Perhaps, but you would have handled it in your graceful fashion. You wouldn’t have tripped all over yourself and nearly crushed your alpha when you fell.”
She smiled. “Don’t worry about me. It wasn’t even close.”
“I think I brushed your tail as I fell.”
“Pshaw. Like I said, not even close.”
I didn’t respond to that. Instead I turned to the trail. “Let’s finish this. Now that Lara has won, does that mean she won’t jump over me any further?”
“She gets two more tries to notch up the score.”
I sighed. “Let’s finish this,” I repeated and began moving down the path, slowly at first as I worked more of the kinks out. A moment later, Michaela was back in fur, moving alongside me. Lara disappeared into the underbrush.
All was quiet for about two hundred yards. I was moving more slowly, but Michaela didn’t try to hurry me.
Then, from a tree leaning over the trail, a silver wolf was leaping at me. Of course I screamed and ducked. The wolf landed on the ground behind me and a moment later was chuffing happily. I straightened and turned to face Elisabeth. “Very sneaky, Wolf,” I told her. “I’m not sure it counts as jumping over me if you start from a tree.”
I glanced at Michaela. She was watching both of us, her head cocked. Then she huffed.
“Is that agreement that it doesn’t count, or a huff as a point for Elisabeth.” In response, she stepped over and bumped against Elisabeth.
Lara’s last two leaps were a little easier on me. Perhaps she wanted to give me a fighting chance, or perhaps she was worried about what I had said. For each jump, she gave me plenty of warning, and I avoided screaming. But I caught my breath both times, anyway, and I flinched as well. While I did better than I had been, I still didn’t consider either of them as a point to me, and Michaela huffed for each.
Elisabeth’s fourth leap wasn’t bad, either, and Michaela chuffed for me. I was now two-two with Elisabeth. She disappeared into the brush, and I began moving down the path. “She’s going to do something special, isn’t she?” I asked. Michaela and Lara both chuffed.
She played to win. I was able to move into a jog, finally loosened up from my fall. And then from behind me, I heard a rising growl. It struck me right at the core, and I was suddenly filled with fear. I turned my head over my shoulder to see Elisabeth racing after me. By the time she l
eaped, she was in full werewolf growl. A part of me noticed her hackles were raised, and I caught a flash of deadly claws.
She leapt, and I screamed, cowered, and fell on my ass as Elisabeth soared well over my head.
I came to a stop on my back again, staring up into the leaves overhead, then rolled onto my side and curled into a ball, my heart pounding. I made myself as small as I could and instinctively protected my vulnerable belly from the predator.
I think I whimpered.
The wolves gave me room, although Michaela stepped over to stand in front of me where I could see her. She lay down in front of me, our noses not that far apart. I stared into her eyes before closing mine.
It took time — I couldn’t say how long — before I finally got my heart under control. I was sure I was giving off fear scent, which simply added to my embarrassment.
No one said a thing.
But then I felt a wolf behind me; I presumed it was Elisabeth. She settled down against my back, her chin resting on my shoulder. A moment later, another wolf settled down next to Michaela, adding her chin over one of my legs.
We lay together like that for a few minutes. Finally I opened my eyes and found myself staring into Michaela’s. I glanced down and verified it was Lara’s head on my knees. I curled an arm up and buried my fingers in Elisabeth’s fur, massaging the ear I could reach. She made a sound of appreciation.
“Scaredy-human,” I muttered. In response, Michaela stretched out and licked my nose. I wiped the resulting moisture away. She panted at me, a foxy laugh, I presumed. I struggled to sit up, which was hampered by neither Elisabeth nor Lara lifting their heads from me. I wondered if that was meant as more humor, but they didn’t do more to stop me, and I climbed to my feet. “I have no idea how far we’ve come.” Then I looked around. “Nor do I remember which way we were going.”
Michaela chuffed and began prancing down the path. The wolves and I hurried after her. Well, I hurried. I’m sure, for the wolves, it was nothing.
But Michaela set an easy pace, a fast walk for me. Her walking pace was slower, but she loped, and even, to a lesser extent, so did the wolves. I realized that my walking stride was longer than theirs, but they were quite comfortable bouncing along, and I’m sure could have moved much faster for a long, long time.
We walked deeper into the forest for perhaps another ten minutes. And then, very faintly, I heard a howl from well ahead of us. Michaela came to a stop and turned to her mate. They communicated wordlessly, and then Lara lifted her nose and howled three long howls.
I was grinning by the time she finished. I loved listening to them howl, although all of them together could be a bit much.
There was another distant, answering howl.
It took about two minutes. Periodically, Lara howled, and there were answers, growing rapidly closer. Then, bursting through the underbrush and running along the trail, all the wolves surrounded us, Rebecca and Celeste amongst them. Fresh greetings were exchanged, and the wolves frolicked for a minute. Then Michaela shifted into human. “I think it’s time for a hunt. We could use fresh venison.”
She turned to me. “You won’t be able to keep up.”
I wouldn’t have wanted to. I knew they hunted, but I didn’t need to bear witness.
“No problem,” I said. I gestured. “This path leads back to the house, right?”
“Yes. Do you need an escort?”
It was growing dark under the trees. “No. I’ll have to walk, but I’ll be fine. I think in the future I’ll bring a light.”
After that, I didn’t wait. I turned down the trail and walked away. No one stopped me.
It was full dark by the time I reached the compound. I didn’t encounter everyone. I moved to sit on the porch, my elbows on my knees and my chin resting in my hands.
I couldn’t tell for myself, but I was sure I stank of fear. I was sore and knew I was going to stiffen up. I needed ibuprofen and a hot bath.
I glanced at the woods were, somewhere, not very many miles away, a group of people was hunting down a helpless creature. I knew they were werewolves. I knew this was something they needed to do. I knew all that. But I still found it disturbing.
Amongst those people was the woman I had been dating. I found her fascinating and truly awe-inspiring. I loved watching her. Most of the time, I enjoyed her company. But I didn’t know what kind of relationship we had. Oh, we had great sex. But lately, what else did we have? She’d largely ignored me on the trip, and when she came over last night, it had clearly been a booty call. What did we have in common?
I couldn’t think of a single thing. We couldn’t have been much different.
But I knew this about her: she was willing to make me afraid of her to win a wager, a wager I hadn’t even wanted.
I thought about that. Michaela had given the point to Elisabeth, but I was supposed to turn submissive to a growling wolf. Wasn’t that what they had told me? Wasn’t that the expectation?
Was I supposed to have stood up to her as she growled at me? I didn’t think so, even if the growl was as part of a game.
Michaela was wrong. I didn’t belong here.
I climbed to my feet and headed to my car.
Done
I was soaking in my tub when the phone rang. I thought it might, so I had set it on a stool next to the tub along with a towel to dry my hands. I dried my hands and answered the phone, putting it on speaker.
“Hello, Elisabeth.”
“Are you all right?”
“Of course,” I said. “I took some ibuprofen and I’m soaking in the tub.”
She was quiet for a moment then asked, “Why did you leave?”
Why did I leave? What sort of answer did I want to give her?
“I didn’t know how long you would be.” And I didn’t want to be there when they returned, dragging a deer carcass with them.
And I didn’t belong there. I wasn’t a wolf or a fox. I was just a human. I left that unsaid.
Again there was a pause. “Were you upset we went for a hunt?”
“No.” Yes, but I couldn’t say that. “I know you hunt. I know you need to hunt, and you need meat. I can’t expect you to live by the rules I set for myself.” On the other hand, I didn’t have to give tacit agreement by sticking around for it, either.
There was a great deal I wasn’t saying. Was I wrong to hold my tongue? I couldn’t decide. But I didn’t see how telling her that yes, I found their hunts upsetting was going to help anything.
“Were you mad about the game?”
“It was my own fault,” I said. “I shouldn’t have teased Lara. I forgot my place. It may have been worse if Michaela hadn’t stepped in.” I wasn’t sure what Lara would have done to put me in my place, but I was sure it wouldn’t have been any easier to handle.
“That’s not what I asked,” Elisabeth said. “I asked if you were mad about it.”
“I’m not mad about anything, Elisabeth.” That was the truth. Well, if I was mad at all, it was at myself. “I didn’t enjoy the game. I wouldn’t have suggested it, and I certainly wouldn’t have suggested such an expensive wager. I think 11 days of labor is excessive punishment for one slip of the tongue. I guess that’s what happens to someone who doesn’t mind her tongue better. But I’m not mad.”
“But you’re at home sulking.”
“I’m at home soaking,” I said. “Do you have any idea what it means to hurt?”
“Of course I do,” she said.
“Really? When was the last time you felt your muscles stiffening up like mine are right now? When was the last time you had bruises that lasted a week? When was the last time you knew you were going to have a hard time sleeping because your body ached?”
She didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know what it’s like to be in fur,” I said. “I don’t know what goes through your mind. I don’t understand a great deal about what it’s like to be you. But I think perhaps there’s a great deal about me that you don’t understand,
either. And I don’t believe either of us is equipped to really understand, are we?”
“Maybe not,” she answered quietly. “But you could have soaked here.”
“I don’t have an apartment there.”
She made a sound of disgust. “You know you could have soaked in my tub, Zoe.”
“I didn’t have an invitation,” I said. “And it wasn’t like we’d actually exchanged more than two sentences all night.”
“So that’s what you’re mad about? I didn’t give you enough attention?”
“Why are you picking a fight?” I asked. “I said I wasn’t mad. I didn’t complain about a single thing.”
“You just complained I didn’t talk to you, and you complained about Michaela’s wager.”
“You’re the one pushing this, Elisabeth,” I said. “I wasn’t complaining; I was stating simple facts. And I wouldn’t even have done that if you hadn’t pushed. I told you I wasn’t mad, but if you continue to make accusations, I could start. Would that help?”
“If you wanted to talk to me, you could have walked over and talked to me.”
I thought about that. She was right, but I wasn’t quite ready to admit to my share of the problem.
“You looked busy, and I didn’t want to break into your existing conversations.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” I trailed off. In the past, I wouldn’t have behaved like I had tonight — or on the trip, either. In the past, I would have walked straight to my girlfriend and simply assumed I was first in her life. Why hadn’t I done that?
Because I was convinced I wasn’t first. And maybe I didn’t believe I deserved to be first or could hope to be first.
“What are we doing, Elisabeth?” I asked softly. She still managed to hear me.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “Do you want me to come over?”
“No, not tonight.”
“Dinner tomorrow,” she countered. “I’ll pick you up.”
I thought about it. “Elisabeth, I could easily fall hopelessly in love with you.” She didn’t respond. “You’re brilliant and sexy. But if you can’t say the same, then I want to know what we’re doing.”
