He reached over and grazed her flushed cheek. “Okay. An MBA doesn’t define who I am, baby. The only person I want to define me is you.”
“Do you always say the right words?” she whispered, touched.
“No,” Gabe growled, and dropped his hand from her cheek. “I try, Bay, but I’m not always successful. With you, I want to always say the right things, but I know that’s not realistic. I just hope you will love me enough that when I make mistakes, you’ll still love me. I’ll learn from them, baby. What we have is good, and I want you forever.”
Tears crowded into Bay’s eyes. Gabe meant every word he said. She could feel it in her heart. It burned into her soul. Gabe was just like her, she realized: he gave it his all. He didn’t hold back. He didn’t lie. He was who she saw. “I want the same thing,” she told him, her voice trembling with emotion.
“Let’s eat or all my hard work is going to waste,” he teased, trying to lighten the mood. Gabe couldn’t stand to see a woman cry, and he could see the tears glittering in her soft blue eyes. All he wanted was to see Bay happy and smiling. God knew, she deserved that and so much more.
He was bathed in warmth as they laughed, teased and shared Christmas breakfast. When they were finished, he led her over to the tree and guided her to the nearby couch.
“My turn first,” Bay said, pushing him onto the couch.
“You’re always first in my world.” He saw the suffused joy in her eyes as she turned and quickly walked over to the tree. The package was big and odd shaped. Her cheeks became flushed as he took it from her arms.
“What did you do?” Gabe wondered, running his hands over the wrapping.
Excitedly, Bay sat down next to him. “I worked on it every minute I had to myself after you left.” Her voice turned breathy. “Open it, Gabe. It’s just for you.”
It didn’t take much to tear the wrapping off. As he did, a soft, knitted afghan of dark blue and gold fell across his lap. He looked over at her. “You knit, too?”
“Well—” she laughed “—if you can have an MBA, I can be a knitter, can’t I? Unfold it.”
Removing the paper, Gabe sat up and found one end of the huge wool afghan. His heart blossomed fiercely as he opened it up. Bay had knitted the golden SEAL trident symbol in the center of it. The afghan was at least seven feet long by five feet wide. The wool was soft and thick between his fingers. It was big enough for him to lie beneath it.
“Well?” Bay demanded, holding her breath. “Do you like it? Did I get the SEAL symbol okay?”
He gently folded the afghan and set it aside. Turning, Gabe drew her into his arms. “It’s beautiful, Bay. Unbelievably beautiful.” He leaned down, curving his mouth against hers. She moaned and melted into his arms, her breasts against his chest, her arms sliding around his neck. He took her hotly, deeply, branding her with himself, with his love. Her breath turned ragged and Gabe felt her strain wordlessly against him, as if not able to get close enough to him.
Coming up for air, both of them breathing hard, he framed her face and drowned in her shining eyes. “You’re my guardian angel, do you know that? You touch my heart and my soul. I want you to know that. Never forget it, Bay. I don’t know how the hell you had the time to knit something this big for me over there in the midst of everything else.” And he didn’t. He knew how busy Bay had been at Camp Bravo. She rarely had an hour to herself.
Sighing, Bay reached up and grazed his jaw. “I made the time, Gabe. I wanted to make you something that on days when I wasn’t here, you could wrap me around you with this afghan. It has my energy, my love knitted into it for you. As I knitted it, I dreamed of us, of our future. I saw us happy. I saw us always together. This afghan is our dreams, and I want you to hold our dreams for us while I’m away. I know there will be lonely days ahead of us. Worrisome days. But through it all, beloved, you can hold me as close as wrapping up in that afghan I knitted for you. Close your eyes and know they are really my arms around you, holding you, loving you.”
Tears pricked behind his eyes. Gabe was shocked by them and fought the reaction. How easily Bay impacted him. It totaled him in ways he’d never realized could exist between a man and a woman. But she wasn’t just any woman. Bay was his woman. His soul mate.
“You are my breath, baby. You own my heart, my soul.” He grazed her lower lip with his thumb, seeing her eyes grow tender with love for him. “And you can bet, no matter where our platoon goes in training, that afghan is going with me. It isn’t you, but you made it and it’s a lot better than holding nothing when I’m lonely for you at night.” Her lip trembled, the relief and happiness in her eyes. Gabe still didn’t know how on earth Bay had time to knit this huge afghan for him. She was simply amazing.
“I’m so glad, Gabe. I really wanted you to be comforted by it because I know how lonely it can get when your loved one is gone overseas.”
He kissed her gently and for a long, long time. Finally, he released Bay and said, “Now it’s your turn.” He stood.
“I can hardly wait!” she gushed. “I love getting Christmas presents!”
“Now, this isn’t much,” Gabe warned, handing her the two gifts.
Bay was thrilled and smiled up at him. “All gifts are great. Come and sit by me.”
“Why? So you can slug me if you don’t like them?” Gabe chuckled as he sat down, sliding his arm across her shoulders. Bay looked like a little child in that moment. Not the healer, not the courageous combat medic who was willing to give her life for another, but a little child utterly thrilled with the unexpected presents. It sent a deep joy through him.
Bay opened the large present and discovered a beautiful blue silk robe. She gasped as she ran her fingers over the smooth, glistening material. “This is beautiful, Gabe. I can feel the quality of the silk.”
“You like it?”
She lifted it out of the box and held it up. It was a simple robe, but beautifully cut and long enough to hang to her ankles. “I love it. Now you can have your huge terry cloth robe back. Thank you.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. Carefully, she settled the silk robe back into the box.
“I figured when you got here, you wouldn’t have many other clothes. It gets cold here in San Diego in the winter, and silk always keeps a person warm.”
She laid the box near her feet. “You’re right about that. My duffel bag is heavy enough as is. I usually carry two sets of civilian clothes in there. A set of pajamas and no robe. Just not room for one.” In fact, she had to give away some of her clothes to Afghan women to make room for the huge afghan she’d knitted for Gabe, but he didn’t need to know that.
Gabe watched her focus on the small gold-foil-wrapped box between her hands.
She gasped as she opened the box. Inside was a carved wooden heart made of golden-and-red cedar. It was no larger than the size of nickel. There was a very small gold latch on it and she pried open the red and golden wood. Opening it, she saw small letters carved on both sides of the heart. It read: GG loves BT. Tears jammed in her eyes as she carefully held the wooden heart in her fingers. Sniffing, Bay looked up at him, seeing the worry in his eyes. “Th-this is so beautiful, Gabe...thank you.” She managed a partial smile, her lower lip trembling.
Relief tunneled through Gabe. She gently closed the heart as tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. He leaned forward, brushing the tears away with his thumbs. “Don’t cry, baby. God, you’ll rip me apart. I’ll be with you when you go back to Afghanistan. Tuck it in the small pocket at the top of your Kevlar vest. That will be me being with you every second you’re away from me....”
Whispering his name, Bay threw her arms around Gabe. He pulled her across his lap so she could rest her head against his shoulder and jaw. “You like it?” His heart was pounding with relief and joy.
Kissing his temple and brow, Bay whispered, “I do. I love you so much, Gabe. I don’t
know what I did to deserve you, but I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.”
He squeezed her gently, content to have her arms around him, her brow nestled against his. “We’ll work through this coming year together,” he promised her. “The carved heart isn’t a warm, fuzzy afghan, but the thought is the same. You’ll have a little piece of me with you.”
And then his heart pounded with real fear. Gathering his courage, Gabe held her a little more tightly in his arms. “Bay, I want to marry you. I know it can’t be right now. I think we loved each other from the moment we were introduced.” He forced himself to look down at her. What would she say? Gabe was afraid of her answer. And he wasn’t afraid of much in life. Real fear snaked through him as he watched her closely for reaction.
Eyes widening, Bay sat up. She saw trepidation in Gabe’s narrowing eyes. Fear that she’d say no. She leaned her brow against his, their noses touching. She whispered, “I love you, Gabe. And yes, we need time, but we have that.” She lifted her head to look at him. “I want very much to be your wife, your best friend, Gabe. We worked so well together in such harsh, life-threatening conditions, I’ve got to think when the pressure’s off, we’ll have so much more to share together.”
He moved his hand across her shoulder, down her arm and captured her hand, squeezing it. “Time hasn’t always been on our side. We’ve got a year to go, and even though we’ll be apart for most of it, this is an opportunity to deepen what we already know we have.”
“I never thought I’d love again, Gabe.” Bay drew in a ragged breath, holding tightly to his powerful hand. “Combat isn’t a place to find love. That’s what I learned over in Iraq with Jack Scoville. And when I met you, I felt this immediate connection with you, and it scared me to death. I tried to run from you because of it.”
“You didn’t want to lose me in combat like you lost Jack,” he said, understanding her reason. “When you told me about him dying in your arms, I got it.”
“The four months we worked together, Gabe, showed me so much more of you as a man and a person. The longer we were together, the more I was afraid I’d lose you, too. I tried not to like you...love you...” Her mouth quirked and Bay looked up at the ceiling for a moment before training her gaze on his somber face.
“That night we spent out in that rocky depression and you brought me against you...” Sighing, Bay said tremulously, “I loved you in that moment. I’d tried to so hard to tell myself I couldn’t fall in love again in a combat situation. But you were so caring, so tender toward me in that moment, I cried.” She ran a hand along his jaw. “You saved my life that night. I know I would have frozen to death out there.”
“Come here, baby,” he rasped, taking her into his arms and holding her close. He nuzzled her cheek, feeling her hand come to rest against his chest. Gabe held her for a long time. Nowhere was as important as Bay in his arms. Her softened, moist breath flowed across her neck and chest. He could feel her grief, her struggles.
“In time you’ll heal up from all the trauma you’ve survived, Bay. We have each other.” His deep, husky words were like balm to her fractured heart. Gabe’s arms were strong and caring.
Bay remained with her eyes closed, the tears slipping silently from beneath her lashes. “If someone had asked me if I’d fall in love with another man in the military, I’d have said no.”
Gabe smiled, kissing her brow, her curly hair tickling his cheek. “We both tried to avoid loving each other for different reasons.”
“I just never expected to be drawn to you.” She shrugged. “There was just something about you, Gabe. Despite being a tough SEAL, you also had this incredible nurturing side to you that I sensed. You were always there for me, too. Every time. I often thought of you as an oak and I was the willow. When life storms hit, I knew I could always count on you, your strength and care.”
“I want to be here for you, always,” Gabe said.
Bay was content to be held in his arms, absorbing his barely whispered words that came out with a rush of emotion. “I’ve never experienced what I have with you, Gabe. A year apart seems like forever....”
Gabe cupped her jaw and brought her down to his mouth. This time, her lips trembled softly against his. He felt her love as never before as she sank against him, her mouth clinging hotly against his. Finally, they eased an inch apart from one another, breathing raggedly.
“Could we go back to my home for our wedding? Invite your mother, Grace? Mama knows the pastor and so many of my relatives would want to come and celebrate with us. I love my home so much, Gabe. I miss it. It’s a part of my soul and when I go back home, the place feeds me in a spiritual sense. I can’t explain it, but there’ve been times when I’ve come back off combat rotation feeling out of sorts. And the days spent there at our family cabin heal me. It simply knits my soul back together again.”
Gabe sat there digesting her impassioned words. “I’d like that. I think my mother will be very happy to know I’ve got the right woman to share my life with. It will be a Christmas present a year from now they’ll both be happy to receive.”
He brought up his hand and kissed her palm. She had such long, graceful fingers. A healer’s hand. “Well,” Gabe murmured, “you’re healing my heart Baylee-Ann Thorn.” His voice deepened with emotion. “And I’ve served my country for many years. Now I want to live the rest of my life with you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“OUR LAST PICNIC on the beach,” Bay said sadly to Gabe as they walked along the beach. Earlier, they’d lain out their plaid blanket on the white sands in a secret cove near La Jolla earlier. They were the only ones in the cove. Tomorrow, she would be leaving for the East Coast for five months to expand upon her medical skills at another school.
“I know,” he said, capturing her hand. The warmth of the late January sun beat down on Gabe’s naked shoulders. He had been swimming in the ocean with Bay. The water was cold and they didn’t stay in too long.
They’d used two boogie boards to surf the waves until their skin numbed and then it was time to get out. He pulled off his trunks and stood naked on the blanket, toweling off his wet body. He put on a dark blue T-shirt and picked up his black cargo pants after drying off his legs. He threw on his black leather jacket to ward off the cool ocean breeze. Sitting down, he pulled on a pair of warm socks and his combat boots.
Bay’s hair was damp and hung in soft waves about her face as she jogged up to the blanket. Gabe tossed her a towel and she pulled the one-piece purple suit off her body and dropped it near his trunks. The wind made goose bumps stand out on her skin as she quickly dried off. Reaching down, she pulled on a long-sleeved red cotton turtleneck, jeans, red socks and shoes. Gabe handed her the dark green jacket and she gave him a grateful look of thanks.
Bay absorbed him as he quickly dried off his damp, short hair. Her heart expanded with incredible happiness to be here with him. Sadness accompanied it because her thirty days with him were at an end. Gabe was already training off and on with his platoon, so the one month with him meant almost daily separations. It was the way SEAL platoons trained, and families had to adjust to that tempo and pace.
Bay sat down next to Gabe, their knees touching each other. He looked so strong and capable, his shoulders broad, his chest wide and deep. In the water, as she’d discovered many weeks earlier, he was more dolphin than man. He’d taught her how to scuba dive, and she’d come to love it. The sun was warm, the sky a pale blue. It was midweek and the small crescent cove was devoid of people. The white gulls with black-tipped wings flew overhead, watching as Gabe opened the picnic basket and pulled out the food and a bag of chips.
“It’s a perfect day.” Bay sighed, opening the plastic container and picking up the tuna sandwiches. She glanced over and saw Gabe smile a little. Her heart felt heavy. Taking the bag of chips, she opened it and positioned it between them. “Do you think we’ll manage t
o get some time to see each other while I’m here stateside?”
“We’ll make it happen, baby. Next week, my platoon goes into the Chocolate Mountains of the Arizona desert for a month of battle rattle and EOD training. I won’t be able to get away, but we’ll have cell phone, Skype and emails.” Gabe held her gaze. He saw the way her mouth flexed, the corners drawn in. He’d come to know many of Bay’s quirks, her body language, in the past month. He knew she was withholding a lot of unspoken emotions when the corners of his mouth drew inward. Gabe reached over and tucked some drying strands of her soft hair behind her ear.
“The first month of my class will be grueling for me, too. I’ll have weekends, but I’ll be studying my butt off to get a handle on the course material and demands,” Bay said before biting into the sandwich.
Gabe saw shadows in Bay’s eyes as she ate. “We’ve been lucky to have this month.”
“I know it.” She sighed, giving him a tender look. “Every night in your arms has been a luxury I’ve never taken for granted.”
Gabe felt his body respond to her yearning smile, the heat in her eyes for him. “A year from now, we’ll have every day together. No more separations.”
“I’m feeling very selfish right now. Maybe everyone who is in love feels this way.” Bay picked up a chip. “I find myself wanting to stay here, Gabe, not go anywhere else. I’ve never felt like this before.”
She wasn’t really hungry, because tomorrow morning Gabe was going to see her off on a commercial flight to San Francisco. From there, she’d pick up another commercial flight into Boston, get a rental car and drive north toward Washington, D.C., where the advanced combat medical course was being held.
Moving his hand across her knee, he whispered, “What you’re feeling is what every husband and wife feel before separation. You’re not alone.”
Bay finished her sandwich and closed the plastic box, leaned across Gabe and placed it in the basket. “I wish I could clone you and take you with me.” She grinned. “At least you have my afghan to keep you company. And I’ll have the heart you carved for me.” The soothing sound of the ocean waves crashing took away some of her anxiety. Gabe would be with his platoon and for the next month they’d be out on a desert training course in the Chocolate Mountains in Arizona, refining their shooting skills. Their platoon would work together once again, renewing their many skills as a flawless precision unit.
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