by Rhonda James
“Okay, enough already, let me have a turn,” smiled Thomas. When he hugged me I could no longer hold back the tears, it had been so long since my father had paid any attention to me, let alone hug me. Unfortunately for Thomas, he hadn’t been filled in on my lack of a loving parent. To his credit, he responded by squeezing me tighter, patting me reassuringly on the back, as I continued to pour out my pain. This was a loving family. They were supportive and encouraging, a concept that had been so unfamiliar to me, but I longed to share it. I craved it even. It wasn’t until he held me like that, the way a father would, that I even realized exactly what it was that I had been missing.
I felt a hand on my back and instantly recognized Sebastian’s touch, always light but protective and reassuring. “Hey Dad, why don’t you let me take over.” Thomas eased his hold on me and smiled warmly as he looked down into my tear-filled eyes before handing me over to his son’s waiting arms. He wrapped his arms around me lovingly, pulling me against his lean body. We fit together perfectly. “You okay honey?” he whispered quietly, my body shook quietly against his as I tried to hold back the sobs. “It’s okay; it’s just love baby. Let them shower you with it, you deserve to have it rain down upon you. As long as you are in my life you will always be surrounded by love, I promise you that.” That was the second promise he had made me today, not that I was keeping track, but I hoped like hell that he would be able to make good on them because so far everything he had promised sounded like something I could get used to.
“I’m good,” I sniffed, wiping under my eyes to make sure there weren’t mascara smudges. “It’s just all new to me; that’s all. I wasn’t prepared for how wonderful it would feel. It made me realize what I have been missing all my life.” I took a cautious glance around and noted that there wasn’t a dry eye in the room; even Sebastian’s eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“Okay, what do you say we stop all this crying and enjoy a nice meal together. Brooke, I hope you like barbecue,” quipped Natalie as she went about busying herself, pulling take-out containers out of the assorted bags strewn all over the counter.
An hour later we were sprawled out around the man cave, trash littered the surrounding tables. Tracy had gone out of her way, picking up food at a local barbecue joint known for their burnt ends and macaroni and cheese. I was famished; I hadn’t even realized it until the containers were opened, and the delectable fragrance of smoked meat and melted cheese permeated the air. I loaded my plate with pulled pork, macaroni and cheese, and baked beans before throwing in a warm biscuit for good measure. In the end, my eyes had been bigger than my stomach, and I pushed my plate away before finishing, an act that garnered a set of raised brows from Sebastian. I knew I was wasting food, and it made me feel bad, but not as bad as I would have felt if I had kept eating.
“So Brooke, what time does your flight leave on Sunday?” Tracy asked as she slipped her arm through the crook of my elbow, leaning her shoulder into mine.
“Just after noon,” I sighed. “When I made the return flight a week ago I had no idea it would be this hard to get on that plane. Part of me wishes that I could just stay locked up here forever. Sounds crazy doesn’t it?” I guffawed nervously.
“Well sweetie, that’s what love does to you, it makes you a little crazy,” she chuckled and nudged me gently with her shoulder. “I’m sure you’re nervous about how to maintain a relationship with that kind of distance between you.”
“Yeah, that is weighing heavily on my mind. It’s easy to get caught up in all the mushy feelings when we are together but what happens when we are apart? He meets loads of women on a regular basis that would love to stake their claim, how do I know he won’t move on to the next one after I’m gone?”
“Well Brooke, I’m afraid I can’t answer that directly, even Sebastian can’t do that. One never knows when they will fall in or out of love with someone; that’s part of the risk you take when offering your heart to someone else. What I can do is tell you that in all the years that he has been in the public eye he has only had two relationships, and you, my dear, are the first one we’ve ever had the honor of meeting.” She turned, taking both my hands in her own, and looked me directly in the eyes. “I guess what I’m saying is that Sebastian doesn’t fall in love every day, no matter how many girls throw themselves at him.”
“Thank you,” I whispered as I leaned in to hug her again. I found myself wondering if she had any idea how much her words of wisdom had meant to me.
“Oh sweetie, you don’t need to thank me, I should be thanking you,” She turned a sideways glance toward Sebastian, pausing a moment to watch him as he laughed at something Thomas was sharing. “I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time. Whatever it is that you are doing, don’t stop.” She hugged me tightly, stroking my hair, before pulling back and looking at me. “I’m going to miss you.”
I chewed on my bottom lip, partially because of how it felt when she spoke those words to me, but mainly to stop the quivering that had taken over. “I’m going to miss you too,” I sniffed. “I hope I get to see you again soon.”
“If I know my Sebastian, and I do, we’ll be seeing you sooner than you think,” she winked.
A short time later, after another round of warm embraces and a few more tears, the front door closed behind them and Sebastian and I were left standing in the middle of the room, neither of us quite sure of what to say.
“I think it’s safe to say that your family likes me,” I said hopefully.
“Like? You call that like? Sweetheart, that is so far beyond like.” He came over and placed his hands on my hips. “The way I see it, I could run away and marry you tonight and they would be ecstatic.” My body stiffened, and he immediately picked up on it. “Calm down Brooke, it’s just a joke. I just meant that they already think of you like family. You’re one of us now. And you’ve already been introduced to mom’s bone crushing hugs and survived so I think you’ll fit in just fine,” he winked.
“I like bone crushing hugs,” I quipped playfully though I meant it with my whole heart.
“You do huh?” He asked; brow cocked as his arms slipped further around my waist before drawing me tightly against his chest, effectively mimicking his mother’s technique.
“I like your hugs too.”
He chuckled lightly; his breath felt warm against my scalp. “Mom may be the master but she taught me a thing or two about giving great hugs. It’s all in the wrist.”
“Wrist?” I asked, pulling back slightly.
“Yeah.” He repositioned himself, giving me a quick instruction. “You wrap your arms around the waist, clasp one hand firmly over the other wrist and pull in tight.” He squeezed me again. “And that is how you do a proper bone crusher.” I pulled back from his embrace.
“Let me see if I get this straight,” I spoke coyly, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. “Arms go around the waist. I grasp one wrist with my other hand. Then I pull tightly, like this.” I drew him in roughly, eliciting a soft chuckle, and he clasped his hands behind my back.
“Now you’re a master too,” he replied breathlessly, before his lips covered mine in one swift motion, making me forget the world around me, all that mattered stood right here in this room.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Sebastian~
I could kiss Brooke forever. Like, seriously, forever wouldn’t even be long enough. This girl had me so tied up in knots I didn’t know which way was up half the time. I had spent the last two years not caring about anyone or anything, which had ended up with me spending most of my nights trying to forget who I was and how I had gotten there. The first twenty years had been carefree and full of laughter, then I met Charlotte and I was still happy but not quite as carefree, the demanding schedule was mostly to blame for that. Things had just started to take off with the band when we met. She was a pretty girl who loved everything I did, what young twenty-one year old wouldn’t love that. During our time together I was gone a lot, and that wasn’t easy in a new
relationship, I know this because I heard it every chance she could bring it up. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about her, I truly did, but I wasn’t ready for the kind of commitment that she seemed to be interested in. I managed to hold her at bay for a while but after a year she had grown tired of waiting, she wanted more. Now, as I stand here holding Brooke, I am able to look back and understand exactly what Charlotte had meant by more. Holding her in my arms, rocking slowly back and forth to the music that played in our heads, I came to realize that more would never be enough. When you truly loved someone, loved them with your whole heart, the craving for more was one that could never be fully satisfied, not because what they had to offer wasn’t enough, but because the more you were given, the more you needed.
“Hey,” I brushed the hair from her forehead, “do you want to go for a walk on the beach, we could watch the sunset.”
“That would be lovely, just let me change my clothes.” She scurried down the hall and came back a short time later, twirling before me as she stepped into the room, dressed in yoga capris and the T-shirt I had bought her in Malibu. I didn’t bother holding back the smirk that had spread across my face.
“I thought you weren’t going to wear that while we made our “memories” together,” I teased, complete with finger quotes as she had done at the boutique in Malibu.
“Yeah well, that was before,” she shrugged.
“Before what?”
“Before I fell in love with you,” she clasped her hand in mine, “now the memories we make have more meaning. When you bought me this I didn’t want you to know that I had a crush on you,” she shrugged once more, “now I don’t want you to forget.”
“Well, there’s no chance of that happening. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can promise you that you are the one thing that, no matter what happens, I will fight like hell to remember.”
“Sebastian Miles, that’s three promises you’ve made to me now. I hope you’re able to keep them.” She lifted up on her tippy toes and placed a soft kiss on my nose. We made our way down the beach, hand and hand, talking about everything that came to mind, everything except the one subject that hung over our heads. I had been waking up each morning, mentally counting down the days we had left, and trying my best to make the most of our time. I think what concerned me the most was whether or not she would want to continue seeing me after she went back to her world. While she was here I had tried to make her a part of mine, and she fit in perfectly, I worried that if I visited her, and she attempted to do the same, would I fit into her world as comfortably as she had folded into mine.
‘Wow, look at that.” She stopped and gazed out over the water, watching the sun as it set behind the rocks in the distance, the colors in the sky changing from pink to orange to darkness within a matter of moments.
“It’s beautiful,” I muttered, “like you.”
“Awe, you say the sweetest things to me,” she nudged me with her elbow before reaching a hand up to pull me down to her waiting lips and planting a soft kiss. “Thank you.”
“Hey, let’s head back, I don’t want you getting too cold.” I clasped my arms tightly around her, then pulled her up so that I was holding her in a forward style piggy back ride.
“What are you doing?” she asked, tilting her head sideways and grinning happily.
“I wanted to be close to you and this seemed like the best alternative at the time. Besides, this way we can kill two birds with one stone,” I chuckled devilishly.
“Oh yeah, how’s that?”
“We can walk and kiss at the same time.”
“I like your thinking,” she smiled before pressing her lips to mine. We walked the rest of the way home, well, I walked while she sat in my hands, her nose nuzzled against my neck, giggling the whole way. What should have been a ten-minute walk turned into something much longer, and when we finally walked through the front door we were both exhausted and covered in sand.
Brooke~
Sebastian seemed to have a thing for carrying me, not that I was complaining mind you, he just managed to take advantage of every opportunity to literally sweep me off my feet. Our walk on the beach, like most of our time alone lately, had taken a turn for the romantic. I had never kissed another man as much as I had kissed Sebastian, not even when Devon and I were dating. Looking back, I am now able to see that not only had I been naïve, but afraid of getting too close to another human being, maybe that was why it had been so hard for me to accept his proposal. After Devon’s accident, I spent some time in therapy, trying to process what had happened but also to try and come to terms with why I hadn’t been able to allow myself to fully give and receive love. I made a promise to myself that if I were ever to be presented with the opportunity to fall in love again, I would embrace it with both arms and hold on for dear life. The scariest part of that was knowing how to gage the other person’s level of commitment to the relationship, and knowing when to let go if they didn’t feel the same way.
Later that evening we were hanging out and listening to music, neither of us saying a whole lot. The fact that tomorrow was our last full day together loomed over us like a heavy cloud, the topic of how we were going to make a long distance relationship work hadn’t even been brought up. It was almost as if we were trying to remain in our bubble as if any mention of reality might suddenly cause it to burst. Regardless of that unspoken fear, I knew that we had to have that discussion at some point in time, seeing as how I am not a patient person I chose to tackle it head on.
“Sebastian, we need to talk about something.” We were on the floor of the man cave, head to head, but our bodies were reversed so that our feet were on opposite ends. I clasped a hand over his, threading our fingers together.
“Uh oh, this sounds serious,” his grip on my hand grew tighter.
“I don’t know, I guess it is serious, but we’ve been avoiding it all week, and we need to discuss it.” He sighed heavily, draping an arm over his eyes.
“This is about you leaving isn’t it?”
“We have to discuss it at some point, I mean, it’s not like I can stay here forever, I have a life waiting for me back at home.” I felt his body stiffen at the mention of me having a life outside of these four walls. “You do realize that, right?” I asked softly.
“I know,” he groaned, “it’s just easier to stay right here in our little bubble. I knew from the moment I sat at the foot of that guest bed that you had to go home, I guess that if you had left a week ago it might have been easier for me. Now,” he shrugged, “it just hurts too much to think about it. The thought of dropping you off at the airport, watching you walk away from me, not knowing if I will ever see you again, that scares the hell out of me.”
“Well, let’s talk about it, get it out in the open,” I offered. “You say it scares you, thinking that you won’t see me, I think we can try to figure out a way to give a long distance relationship a trial run.”
“What do you mean?” His fingers played up and down my forearm, in a nervous pattern. “Like Skype and stuff?”
“Yeah, we can use technology to our advantage; people like us make it work all the time. I mean, if you want to make it work that is,” I stammered.
“Brooke, of course I want this to work. I’m not ready to give up on this just because of the amount of miles between us. But, don’t you worry that it will be too hard?” I sat up and spun around on my rear so that we were now parallel, and snuggled against him.
“I think it will be hard, but it would be harder to imagine my life without you, even if you are far away. Just knowing you are there to listen to me when I am sad, or happy, and that I get to hear about how your day went, and be there for you when you need support, all of that fills me with hope.”
He lowered his chin and placed a quick kiss on top of my head, then pulled me tighter against him. “We’ll see each other again, right? Somehow we’ll find a way to make time for visits, that wouldn’t be too far fetched would it? I mean, I don�
��t know about you but I’ve already thought about what it would be like to see where you work and where you live.”
“Well, I can guarantee it doesn’t come close to how you live,” I snorted, “but I would love for you to see my restaurant, it really is a fabulous place to eat and work.”
“I don’t care that your apartment isn’t anything like my home, it’s special because you live there, it’s the place you call home. I want to see it because it’s special to you. Everything that you care about, I want to care about, don’t you see that? I’m so caught up in you I don’t know which end is up, all I know is that I’ve never been happier. That’s all because of you baby.”
My heart swelled momentarily, and I found myself grateful that he couldn’t see the tears forming in the corners of my eyes, he had already seen me crying enough for one week, but these weren’t tears of sadness, these were tears of joy and the expectation of great things to come. For the first time in a very long time, I had someone to share my life with, and the thought of that made my heart smile.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Brooke~
“My flight gets in at eight-thirty, are you still picking me up?”
“Of course I am girl, I can’t wait to see you, I’ve missed you so much. Marmalade misses you too,” Jade cooed. I could hear her feline companion purring into the microphone, almost as if he were trying to convey to me how much he had missed me too, I couldn’t help but laugh. “How are you feeling about leaving?”
“I’m feeling very conflicted. I want to be home, to see you and Donnie, and get back to work, man I miss being in the kitchen. But at the same time, it’s going to be hard saying goodbye. We talked about it last night, and we both want to try to make it work long distance, we’re going to give it a try,” I shrugged, even though she couldn’t see me. “I love him Jade. Can you believe that? After only a week?”
