Faith didn’t know what to say. She felt like a fool because she hadn't known about her husband’s past, but all the excuses to come up with earlier in the day to hate him—that he was a drinker, a cheater and a liar—were melting away.
And instead of her heart hardening against him, she was finding that she loved him even more.
No wonder he was afraid of the buggy. Did this explain why he’d been so distant to her at first? Maybe he didn’t want to let anyone new in. Didn’t want to fall in love because, like Faith, he knew how much it hurt when that got taken away. But unlike Faith, Jax’s love had been stolen by death. He must’ve loved Mary very much to still hold her in his heart like that.
Suddenly, everything became clear. Jax needed her as much she needed him. She couldn’t bear to betray him by giving away the mine entrance to Lefty, but she would not let anything happen to her sisters.
Maybe Rosie was right and there was another solution. She would tell Jax everything. About Charles and how he’d turned into a drunk and womanizer. About how he’d left her with the debt to repay. About how Lefty had used her sisters to force her into this situation.
Maybe Jax would understand. She wouldn’t take any money from him for her debt, but maybe they could figure out how to deal with Lefty together. Jax had trusted her with the information about the saloon, and now it was her turn to trust. Faith had already felt a bond forming between her and Jax. A bond with the promise of a future that could last a lifetime.
And what she was about to do would either solidify that bond … or break it forever.
Chapter 22
Jax went to the empty saloon building early the next morning before Faith woke up. Next week, the town officials would vote and the saloon would hopefully become a reality. But something bothered him. Cleb had been acting very strangely and last night, when he visited the safe house, he’d thought he’d heard someone following him.
He’d heard a rumor that some of Cleb’s associates from Boston were coming to town. He just hoped Cleb had not gotten wind of what they were planning and was putting something in place to stop it.
Jax was still worried about the man who had visited Faith. The fact that he, too, was from Boston had not escaped Jax. Could it be a coincidence?
Robertson had sent several Western Union messages to his former Pinkerton associates back East and was hoping to hear back today. In fact, he’d gone into Golden City to pick up the replies before the crack of dawn.
Jax doubted O’Toole had anything to do with Cleb. The sooner they could open the saloon, the sooner they would drive Cleb out of business and hopefully he would leave town once and for all.
The wooden floor creaked as Jax walked around the saloon. Every table was in its place, the chairs set and ready to go. He turned his attention to the bar with its dark mahogany wood and brass foot railing.
He could still picture Faith leaning against it. His blood warmed at the memory of their kiss. But then his brow furrowed. She’d been acting rather strange ever since that kiss.
Jax knew he’d moved too fast, so he figured it was best to slow down and get to know his new bride better. He’d tried to be home for every meal since then. He wanted to win Faith over. But she’d stayed in her room almost every minute since he’d taken her to the saloon. Was she avoiding him because of the kiss, or did her reclusive behavior have something to do with Silas O’Toole?
At first Jax had worried that something had happened to one of Faith’s sisters or her mother back in Boston, but Maisie had assured him that was not the case.
Faith claimed she was ill, but Jax was afraid she was trying to avoid him. And she had not mentioned the poetry book with the note he’d left for her in the library. Maybe his bold statement about her beauty had scared her off. Though she hadn’t acted ‘scared off’ when he’d kissed her. She’d acted as if she’d thoroughly enjoyed it … at least at first.
A niggle of doubt wormed its way through his mind as he remembered the heated kisses of his first wife, Mary. How could he have forgotten her so soon? Now it seemed all the memories of Mary had been replaced by memories of Faith.
Were his feelings for Faith real or just a manifestation of his loneliness? It had been three years since Mary—or any woman—had warmed his bed. Could it be that he was mistaking lust for love?
Not that long ago, he couldn’t imagine loving anyone but Mary. What if his feelings for Faith were just a product of his physical needs and he tired of her after taking her to bed? Or worse … what if she tired of him?
Jax didn’t think that was going to be the case for either of them. He had a feeling this was the real thing and the thought warmed his heart.
He was almost certain Faith’s odd behavior was directly related to her surprise visitor. Maybe Silas really was a friend and she’d just been startled to see him, or maybe he was up to something. Either way, Jax would make sure no harm came to his new wife.
He’d had love stolen from him before and he was going to make darn sure that didn’t happen again.
He busied himself behind the bar. There were no whiskey bottles yet, but they had the glasses and plates necessary to run a good saloon. Bessie Mae had washed them weeks ago and now they were gathering a little film of dust. Jax ran his finger along one white plate, noticing how it left a trail of clean behind it. She’d have to wash them again before they opened.
The door opened and he flicked his gaze to it. Robertson came through, closing the door and then walking toward him.
“Did you find out anything about this O’Toole character?”
“I’m afraid so.” Robertson avoided eye contact and Jax sensed his reluctance.
“What is it?” A feeling of trepidation raised the hairs on the back of Jax’s neck. Robertson had never been reluctant to tell Jax anything before. Why was he acting this way now?
“I’m afraid it’s not good news concerning your wife,” Robertson said. “I double and triple checked because I just can’t believe it myself. It seems so out of character.”
“What are you talking about?”
Robertson sighed. “Maybe Faith has a good explanation, but according to my contacts, Silas O’Toole works for Lefty Brewster in Boston.”
Dread clutched Jax’s heart. “Let me guess. Lefty Brewster is one of Cleb Masters’ associates in Boston, isn’t he?”
“That’s right,” Robertson said.
Jax came out from behind the bar to stand next to Robertson. When he spoke, his tone was tinged with anger. “But what’s this have to do with Faith? Is Lefty threatening her with Silas?”
Robertson held up his hand. “Now listen. You should talk to Faith before you take this as gospel. I can’t believe she would be mixed up in this. She might have a good explanation, but my contacts told me that Faith is working for Lefty Brewster. Lefty intercepted your mail order bride letters and Faith answered them. She was sent out here on purpose to marry you.”
* * *
The news hit Jax like a punch in the gut. Faith was working for Lefty? Sent to marry him on purpose? But why? What in the world would Lefty, or anyone, have to gain by that?
It had to be about the saloon and safehouse. Cleb must have found out he was up to something and wanted someone on the inside. Someone to spy on him and hand over all the information he and Ryder had worked so hard to keep a secret.
And Jax had played right into his hands by bringing Faith to the saloon. He was just glad he had stopped there and not shown her everything else.
Suddenly, it all made sense. He’d assumed she’d claimed to be dowdy and unintelligent in her letters because she did not see herself as attractive, but it had all been a clever act.
What else had been an act? Her response to his kiss? Most likely.
Cleb Masters and this Lefty Brewster had known just what he needed. And Faith had been a clever actress, worming her way in with her silky hair, innocent blue eyes and sensual curves.
She’d played him for a fool.
How cou
ld he have fallen for it? He’d been too alone, too vulnerable. That would teach him for opening up. He’d made a mistake, but now he’d make sure he'd never make the mistake of trusting again.
And with that thought, his feelings of love snapped closed like a shutter, his heart darkening and hardening once again ... this time for good.
But deep inside, one thing bothered him. What did Faith have to gain by fooling him? Probably money. Maybe something else. Jax had suspected that Cleb was into something other than the saloon. The stagecoach robberies? For all he knew, Faith was in on that, too.
He had no idea how much money they’d offered her, but it didn’t matter. What mattered now was getting rid of her and trying to undo the damage she’d already done.
His fists tightened in anger as he stormed toward the door.
“Jax, wait,” Roberston yelled after him. “You need to give her a chance…”
But Jax didn’t give second chances. He was beyond rational thought. He held his hand up, silencing Robertson as he ripped the door open and burst out into the street.
He had only one thing on his mind. Get Faith out of Wild Heart Ranch. He didn’t care where she went. He just knew he never wanted to lay eyes on her again.
Chapter 23
Faith was filled with nervous excitement. She’d hurried back to Wild Heart Ranch after her trip to the safehouse and slipped back in her window unseen. She had fallen asleep right away, confident that her decision to tell Jax everything was the right one. But now, in the light of the morning, she was nervous about his reaction.
Would he be mad?
She didn’t think so. Despite his tough guy exterior, the Jax Blackburn she’d come to know was fair and kind. He’d find a way to help her.
It was such a relief to know she wasn’t going to have to lie or sneak around anymore. She’d hated lying to him. She’d hated skulking around behind his back trying to find out about the gold mine. Oh, at first she hadn’t minded, but as she’d gotten to know him it had bothered her more and more.
Faith had fallen for Jax hard and now she had everything riding on her admission of the truth. It would work out, she assured herself. It had to.
She took care dressing. She hadn’t had a chance to spend the gold that Jax had given her, so besides the gown he’d bought her, she still only had the two dresses she’d arrived with.
She helped Maisie fill the copper tub with hot water, then bathed with her lavender soap and put her hair up. When she was done, she grabbed the poetry book, whose cover she’d finally finished and made her way out into the hallway.
Her fist curled around the key on the brown velvet ribbon as she closed her bedroom door. Once she told Jax the truth, would she have a use for the key? Not for long. Once they were on the same side, it was only a matter of time until they truly became man and wife. The thought of that caused a warm coiling in Faith’s gut.
As she crossed by the front door, she saw clouds of dust kicked up along the road to the ranch. Hoofbeats. She recognized Jax on Indigo, making their way toward the house. Her nerves tingled with excited anticipation as she waited just inside the front door.
He rode up, dismounted and hitched the horse to the porch. That was odd, Faith thought, he usually took Indigo into the barn to brush him down. But Jax looked like he was in a hurry.
Faith’s enthusiasm plummeted. He also looked like he was angry. Had something happened with the saloon or at the safehouse?
He pounded up the steps and ripped the front door open, his eyes growing wide when they fell on Faith.
Her smile faltered at the look on his face. Maybe this wasn’t the right time to tell him everything?
His face darkened. His eyes were ablaze with anger that caused Faith to shrink back. Was that anger directed at her? She couldn’t imagine why it would be, but when he opened his mouth she knew it was.
“Do you think I’m a fool? I know what you’ve been up to. I will not have anyone who betrays me in my house. You need to pack your bags and go.” Jax’s voice was rough with emotion, his hands fisted tightly at his sides. His face was red and his eyes … they smoldered with fire.
Faith stood frozen in front of him. His stance and actions brought up memories of Charles. This was exactly how he had acted many times for no reason at all. He would come home yelling at her without provocation. And then he would hit her.
Would Jax strike her? She shrank back even further, her heart lodged in her throat.
“What do you mean? I don’t think you’re a fool,” she squeaked.
Jax’s eyes narrowed. He stepped closer and Faith clutched the poetry book to her chest as if it could protect her. “I don’t want to hear any of your excuses. I found out about your association with Lefty Brewster. I know why you came here. Now, pack your trunk and get out. Robertson will drive you to the train station.”
And with that he turned on his heel, stormed to his office and slammed the door.
* * *
Faith stood in the hallway, stunned by Jax’s words. He knew about her deal with Lefty. It didn’t matter that she’d done it for her sisters. She was responsible for her own actions and she had set out to betray him. She was no better than Lefty Brewster himself.
Robertson drove up in the buggy and came running inside just as Maisie came out from the kitchen.
“What’s going on? Why was Mr. Jax yelling?” Maisie looked from Robertson to Faith.
“I … well …” Robertson stammered and Faith knew that he knew the truth about her. She stared at her feet, unable to look either of them in the eye.
“Child, what is wrong?” Maisie bent down to peer at Faith.
Faith’s words caught in her throat. Wet tears tracked down her cheeks. She’d ruined everything. The only thing for her to do now was to leave. She turned and fled to her room, slamming the door and locking it shut.
She should have known this would happen. Jax was right. She was a betrayer she didn’t deserve to stay here. And now that he knew everything, he would never trust her again. Her plans to tell him everything and her girlish hopes that he would forgive her and somehow save her evaporated. She’d been stupid to think that, anyway. She, of all people, should know there was no such thing as a happy ending.
“Miss Faith, you okay?” Maisie’s voice filtered through the door.
“I’m fine.” Faith managed the words even though she was anything but. Her heart pinched at the betrayal Maisie would feel once she found out the truth. She’d started to feel like Maisie was family and thought the woman saw her the same way. Oh, well, better to break the tie now. “I’m packing. Leaving on the next train. I don’t need help so you can go back to the kitchen now.”
Faith winced at her own harsh words but the last thing she needed was the old woman to break down her defenses.
It didn’t take her long to pack. She didn’t have much. She took only what she’d brought from Boston, leaving the ivory gown and matching slippers in the closet.
Maybe Jax’s next wife could use them. A pang of sadness stabbed her heart at the thought of Jax married to someone else. She was sure he would divorce her or have their marriage annulled. And then he would be free to love someone else—maybe even that awful Darcy.
With her few belongings packed in her trunk, Faith turned to survey the room. She wanted to obliterate any trace of her presence. Her eyes fell on the poetry book with its new cover. Well, almost every trace … the book she would leave for Jax in the library. She knew it wouldn’t make up for everything that she’d done, but at least it was something.
She walked down the hall for the last time, eyeing the door to Jax’s office. He was in there, but he might as well have been a million miles away. Still, she wished she could see him one more time or hear his voice.
Robertson appeared at the door. “Are you packed?”
Faith nodded and Robertson headed to her room for her trunk. Faith slipped into the library and placed the poetry book and the packet of gold dust that she’d still had in her
reticule purse on the table beside the blue chair. She took one tearful look around Wild Heart Ranch, then slipped out the front door, closing it—and her heart—for the last time.
* * *
Faith sat stiffly in the buggy as they made their way toward town. She didn’t want to talk. Instead, she kept her head turned to look at the countryside.
She remembered her first trip out to the ranch. The landscape had seemed bare and somewhat desolate compared to the tall buildings and more urban setting of Boston. But now, she could see the beauty in the wide open blue sky, the butterflies flitting around colorful flowers in the meadow and the soft trickle of Goldwater Creek as it ran beside the road, reflecting the beauty of everything around it.
Too late, she realized she would have loved to live here.
She pulled the lace hanky out from her sleeve and swiped at her eyes that insisted on producing tears no matter how much she willed them to stop. She sniffled causing a sideways glance from Robertson.
“If you don’t mind my saying, you don’t seem like the type to consort with criminals,” Robertson ventured.
Faith’s cheeks flamed. So Robertson did know all about her. It was just as well. She’d be gone from here soon and what did she care what they thought about her.
“What does it matter now?” she said.
“Oh, it matters. It matters a lot.” Robertson turned to face her, a kindness in his eyes that she didn’t deserve. “Sometimes there’s a reason that good people have to do bad things.”
Faith snorted. “Jax doesn’t care about my reasons. He hates me. I betrayed him.”
“But you didn’t,” Robertson pointed out. “Not really, did you?”
Faith pressed her lips together. “Not technically, but I planned to.”
Faith (Goldwater Creek Mail-Order Brides 1) Page 12
