Feeling like a stereotypical housewife didn’t sit well with her, however. She wanted more than to cook for her family and bake cookies for no one. The word family stuck in her throat. When had she begun to think of the O’Malleys as family?
Probably at about the same point they’d begun to annoy her as much as her own family. They were always around. She felt as if she had no privacy. Someone was always interrupting her or looking over her shoulder. Not in a distrusting way, just in the usual nosy sibling manner. It was enough to drive her crazy.
So she baked some more. Right now, the kitchen was filled with coffee cake, cupcakes, and three batches of cookies. She’d already delivered a cake to Eileen, who’d thanked her but hadn’t invited her in for tea. Deirdre kept hoping she’d come around. She missed her aunt.
Tommy didn’t have a hockey game or practice tonight and he had no clients. Tonight, they’d have a chance to be alone. Since he’d be home soon, Deirdre finished washing the dishes and went downstairs with her tin of Tommy’s favorite cookies.
She’d been going to every practice and game over the last two weeks. She enjoyed being around the team and their families, but that, too was taking its toll. And tonight she had a plan.
She’d finally gotten a ring for Tommy, which had been no easy task. Her budget was small and a regular gold band would never suit him. Even though he’d only proposed so she could stay in America, he still deserved a ring. Tonight he’d get it, along with another surprise.
Her phone buzzed with a text from Tommy. Home in ten. Should I bring dinner?
She smiled as she dried from her quick shower. Nope. Just your sexy self. Come straight downstairs. I have a surprise for you.
Nerves rattled her, which was strange because one thing Tommy had done for her since they’d been together was give her confidence in the bedroom. He was always willing to explore anything she wanted and he never seemed to tire of her body.
Dropping her towel, she set a trail of cookies on the bed. She snapped a quick photo of her bare leg with a line of cookies next to it and sent it to Tommy.
Dessert first?
I’ll break the speed limit to get there.
After setting her phone back down, she strategically placed cookies on her body. She took slow, steady breaths to keep them in place. She closed her eyes and waited for Tommy.
The room, and in fact the entire house, was so quiet, for a change, she could’ve fallen asleep. Except her thoughts continued to wander to Tommy eating his way up her body.
When the door flung open, her eyes popped open and she smiled—until it was Sean’s voice saying, “Hey, are you—”
Deirdre screamed and grabbed for something to cover herself, but there was nothing but cookies.
“Oh, shit. Sorry.”
He quickly backed out of the room but didn’t even close the door behind him. Deirdre was mortified. She grabbed her towel from the floor and ran across the hall back to the bathroom and locked the door.
Her heart raced and tears began to fall. Tommy was the only man to have ever seen her naked and now Sean . . . Her stomach lurched. How could she ever face him again?
Not only had he seen her completely bare, but he’d seen what she’d planned for Tommy. Suddenly her playful evening with Tommy felt dirty.
Chapter Eighteen
Tommy screeched to a stop in front of the house. Although Deirdre had told him to come straight downstairs, he had to put the milk Norah wanted in the fridge. Given the picture Deirdre had sent, they might not be making it upstairs for hours. He rushed into the kitchen, put the milk away, and turned, but Sean stood in his way.
“Hey, man.”
Sean said, “Hey. I need to tell you something.”
“Can it wait? Deirdre’s waiting for me.”
“About that . . .”
“What?”
“I thought you were home, and I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to the bar.” He took a deep breath. “In my defense, the door was unlocked.”
“What?”
“I opened the door like I always do and she was just lying there.” His eyes were wide to indicate how Deirdre was lying there.
“What’s going on?” Norah asked from the doorway.
Tommy ignored her as his blood heated and his fists clenched. Staring at Sean, he asked, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I didn’t know she was home. Definitely didn’t know she had a whole seduction scene going on.” Sean tried for a smile.
Tommy shoved him. “What the fuck? This isn’t funny. She’s not some puck bunny from the bar here for a night. She’s my fucking wife.”
The weight of his own words hit Tommy. Deirdre was his wife.
Sean held his arms up. All joking gone. “I’m sorry, man. I’d never do that on purpose. I heard a noise and thought you were home. We’ve never knocked on doors. We’ve always just walked in.”
Tommy brushed past his brother. Deirdre was his priority now. She’d be upset. He ran downstairs and into his bedroom. Cookies were scattered on the bed, but no Deirdre. “Deirdre?”
Sean would’ve told him if she’d left. Then again, if she’d run out the basement door, no one would know. He called her again and then saw the bathroom door was closed. He knocked. “Deirdre?”
“Go away, Tommy.”
Her voice was muffled, but he could tell she’d been crying. His desire to punch his brother came back tenfold. “Please come out.”
“No.”
“It’s not that big a deal. Sean thought I was home. He didn’t mean to walk in on you.”
“But he did and he saw . . . everything.” She hiccupped on the last word.
Tommy leaned forward and rested his forehead against the door. “What can I do?”
He stood there for a minute waiting. Finally, she said, “Get me some clothes to wear.”
Fuck. She was sitting in the bathroom still naked? He turned back to their bedroom and realized he didn’t know what to get her. Then he remembered how much she liked wearing his old sweatpants. He grabbed them, one of her T-shirts, and a pair of socks because her feet were always cold.
He knocked again. “I have clothes.”
“Leave them.”
“Cupcake, please come out. You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. If anything, Sean should be the one with the problem. And he’s upstairs. It’s just me.”
Again, he was met with silence. Maybe she needed some space. He knocked again and said, “I’ll leave you alone to change. I’ll be back in ten minutes.” There was no way he’d let her hide out in the bathroom all night.
He stomped up the stairs, still pissed at Sean. When he got to the kitchen, Sean and Norah were sitting at the table. Both looked at him.
“Do I need to go apologize again?”
“Not now,” Tommy said. “She’s freaked out. You need to stay far away.”
“I’ll go spend the night at Emma’s.”
Tommy collapsed into a chair and tried not to look at the clock. He’d said he’d give her ten minutes. “What are we gonna do about this? This shit can’t happen again.”
Sean shrugged.
Norah said, “You can have my room. I’m moving in with Kai.”
“What?” both Tommy and Sean said.
“I’m graduating in a couple of weeks. It’s really crowded around here, and you need some privacy.”
Some of the tension in Tommy’s shoulders relaxed.
“Him?” Sean said. “I’ve been looking to have that space for over a year.”
“Do you have a wife?”
And there was that word again. Would he ever get used to hearing it?
“No, but I’m older. It’s my turn,” Sean argued.
“Who are you kidding? You and Emma will be moving in together soon enough. The newlyweds deserve to have their own space.”
“Thanks, Norah. But we can wait until after you graduate. I don’t want to mess up the plans you and Kai have.”
Norah la
ughed. “Shit. He’s been bugging me to move in for months. He loves the idea.”
“When did you talk to him?”
“While you were downstairs trying to calm Deirdre down. Would it help if I talked to her?”
“What’s there to say? Sorry my brother’s an asshole?”
“Hey,” Sean yelled. “I’m not.”
“Dude, how would you like it if I walked in on Emma?”
Sean’s eyebrows slammed down. “I wouldn’t like it, but I wouldn’t have to worry because she’d kick your ass.”
“Well, Deirdre’s not like that.”
“If she wants to survive around the O’Malleys, she better toughen up.” Sean stood and slapped a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Tell her I really am sorry. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
Tommy turned to Norah. “You sure about this?”
“Give me ’til the weekend to pack my stuff.”
“Why now?”
“It just struck me when you were yelling at Sean. This isn’t a game for you. This is the real deal. We all need to treat it like that, but we haven’t been.” She stood. “Let me know if you guys need anything.”
Alone in the kitchen, Tommy took a deep breath. Time to go talk to Deirdre. At least he had good news for her. Moving upstairs not only gave them the privacy that she would appreciate, it was nearly an apartment up there. They could stay and take their time to save money for something more permanent.
He hadn’t given their living arrangement much thought, but he didn’t want to be the guy who had to live at home with his wife. Nothing about that sounded right.
When he got downstairs, he saw the bathroom door open. He took that as a good sign. At his bedroom, he knocked on the door, which felt weird. “Cupcake?”
She opened the door. Her eyes were red, her cheeks blotchy, her hair in a messy pile on top of her head, and she wore baggy clothes. Not how he’d envisioned this night.
“Are you okay?”
She shook her head and crossed her arms over her body as if she still needed to cover herself.
It about killed him to see her retreat like that. He stepped closer and lifted his hand to touch her. She didn’t move away, so he let his palm rest against her cheek.
A tear leaked from her eye and trickled to his hand.
“Crap. Come here.” He didn’t wait for her to answer. He simply pulled her into his arms. For a second, he thought she’d remain stiff and distant, but her hands wrapped around him and fisted in the back of his shirt. He rubbed her back. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m mortified.”
“Why?”
“Sean saw me naked. With cookies.”
Tommy tried to remain serious. It wasn’t a laughing matter, but he couldn’t stop the smile.
“I can feel your smirk, you know.”
That was a little spooky. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re hot, babe.”
“That doesn’t help. How do I ever face Sean again?”
“The same way he’s faced you since you saw him. You’re even now.”
“But every time he looks at me, I’ll assume he’s picturing me naked.”
A chuckle rumbled in his chest. “Cupcake, I’d kick his ass if he started doing that, but I think Emma would beat me to it. Trust me, Sean doesn’t want to think about you naked. You’re like his sister.”
Her shoulders finally relaxed.
“Some good came from this, though.”
“Not possible,” she mumbled against his shirt.
“Norah’s moving in with Kai. We can have the upstairs to ourselves.”
Deirdre stepped out of his arms, but kept her hands on his waist. He liked the contact.
“I thought she didn’t want to move in with him until after graduation.”
Tommy lifted a shoulder. “Graduation is in a few weeks, and like she pointed out, the house is pretty crowded.” He slipped his hand into hers. “She agrees that we need our own space.”
“How did that go over with Sean? I’ve heard him harass Norah over it for weeks.”
He smiled. “Bonus for pissing Sean off. Norah said we get to jump him in line since we’re married.”
“Who’d have known rushing into marriage would come with so many perks?”
And there she was, his Cupcake. He glanced over to the bed, where cookies were still scattered across the blanket. He waggled his eyebrows. “I can show you a few other perks.”
Her cheeks flushed, and this time, not from embarrassment. He couldn’t imagine ever getting enough of her. “Know what’s great about you wearing my sweatpants?”
“What?”
“Easy access.” He stroked her stomach along the elastic band.
Deirdre rolled her eyes. “This is far from my plans for the night.”
“You mean you weren’t planning on letting me ravage your body?”
“That was definitely part of it, but . . .”
“What?”
She released his hand and walked over to the dresser. When she returned, she held a small jewelry box.
* * *
This night couldn’t have gone more sideways if it had been part of a movie. She still couldn’t believe Sean had seen her lying naked and wanton waiting for Tommy. She’d planned to give him the ring after they made love, when he was exhausted and happy. She didn’t know why she handed it to him now, when he’d be able to scrutinize it.
The simple band didn’t look much like a wedding ring, at least not to her. But Tommy didn’t strike her as a traditional groom either. She wanted him to have something to represent their relationship without feeling trapped. Now, she didn’t know how to word that.
“Cupcake, you didn’t have to get me a ring.”
“I understand if you don’t want to wear one. Everything about us is a bit unorthodox, but you got me a ring and I wanted you to have . . .”
He was already sliding the ring on his finger. The black and silver contrasted perfectly with the tattoos creeping up his arm. She’d been right: Tommy was not a gold-band-wearing man. His eyes left his hand and stared at her.
“You were saying?”
She swallowed hard. She needed to get it out. “I know we rushed into this. And no one thinks it’s a good idea. But I wanted you to have a ring to signify our relationship. I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”
Her words didn’t convey the magnitude of what she felt, but words wouldn’t form. She knew she was off track when something hard passed in Tommy’s eyes. All her playfulness from earlier no longer existed. It wasn’t just Sean seeing her. This was about her and Tommy. Something was shifting, and she didn’t know what or how.
She’d heard Tommy yelling at Sean upstairs. O’Malleys didn’t really know what an indoor voice was when they were angry. The way Tommy had yelled about her being his wife had struck her hard. They were married, even if they’d only done it out of convenience or desperation.
This was real, and she didn’t know how she felt about it. She cared for Tommy and she was falling for him, but she wasn’t sure where he stood.
“I don’t need a thank-you gift.”
Was he angry?
“It’s not a thank-you, really.” Finally she gave up. Throwing her hands in the air, she let it out. “What are we doing here?”
“What do you mean?”
Her arms waved as she spoke. “I mean, we jumped into marriage. And while I had my eyes open about what it was, I don’t know anymore. I don’t know where we stand or what we expect this to be or what you expect of me.” Her arms dropped. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“Neither do I.” He sighed and studied the new ring on his hand. “I didn’t think about expectations when I came up with this idea. I wasn’t ready to lose you. I’m still not.” He stepped closer and took her hand again. “We’ll figure it out together.”
Her chest was still tight with tension, but the feel of his palm against hers helped. “I don’t even know what we’re figuring out
.”
“We’re going to figure out how to be a married couple. I might have rushed into this, Cupcake, but I didn’t ask you to marry me just so you could stay here. I plan to build a life with you.”
His words had her swallowing hard. He was serious. He wanted a lifetime with her. Even though they weren’t even in love. Were they? She wasn’t sure she’d be able to recognize love anymore. She’d thought Rory loved her. And as much as he did, it wasn’t the right kind of love. It wouldn’t have been enough to sustain a lifelong marriage.
Was she supposed to believe that what she and Tommy had was stronger than what she’d shared with Rory, who had been her friend for years?
In her uncertainty, she said nothing in response to Tommy’s declaration. She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Why don’t you go upstairs and order a pizza or something for dinner while I clean up here?”
“How about we clean up together? We can go out somewhere.”
“You said Sean was out, right?”
He nodded.
“Then I’d just as soon stay in tonight. I’m not ready to face your brother yet, but I don’t much feel like going out.”
“Whatever you want.” He released her hand and went to the bed to gather the cookies she’d made for him. Popping one in his mouth, he moaned. “These are good.”
Deirdre bent and picked up the ones that she knocked on the floor in her haste to escape Sean.
Tommy pointed at the handful of crumbled cookies she held. “I’m gonna kick his ass now. Look at all that waste.”
“I can make you some more cookies.” She turned to dump the mess into the trash can.
“But these were special fuck-me cookies.”
She spun to look at him. “What?”
“You made these cookies so I would come home and fuck you well and good.”
Her heart sped and her skin warmed as she sputtered, “I did not. I made them because peanut butter are your favorite and I wanted to surprise you because you do so many nice things for me.”
He stalked across the room toward her. “If they were thank-you-for-being-a-great-guy cookies, you would’ve put them on a plate and brought them to me at work.” He stepped closer still, his eyes hot and his voice quiet. “That’s not what this was.”
Through Your Eyes Page 24
