When Ronan makes his incessant and unreasonable demands, something comes over me, stealing my senses. Like he’s giving me the space to forget the parts of my life where I’m forced to become a caricature of myself. With him, I can let all of that pretending fall away, and I come into myself as a woman in a way I’ve never been before.
As Sarah.
He’s so big, so powerful. And yet…there’s a gentleness about him too. Not everyone can see it. But I can. I can see all of Ronan O’Farrell, even the parts he keeps hidden and locked away so tightly.
“Yer laggin’, Savie. Put yer mouth on me. I want yer to suck me ‘til I come straight down yer throat.”
I don’t want to fight with him anymore, I just want to wrap my lips around him. I want it even more than he does. My mouth waters and another flood of wetness pools between my legs. I don’t even care that someone could barge into this flimsy tent and see me going down on a man I barely know.
I take his straining cock in my hand and work it into my open mouth. I have to stretch my lips wide, but I delight in the strength and power there. The throbbing heat takes over as I close my lips around him and my eyes flutter shut. Ronan’s hands slide into my hair to pull me close. I know if I don’t do what he likes, he’ll give me a little pull to correct me.
I move my head back and forth, his steely shaft popping in and out of my mouth. Using my tongue to stroke his length, I enjoy the sound of a strangled moan as it leaves his lips. I’m getting to him, and it gives me a power unlike any I’ve ever experienced. I’m no blushing virgin, but I’m not loose either. Ever since I became Savannah Starr, the men I’ve been with have worshipped me in a way that becomes a turn off within months.
Not Ronan O’Farrell.
I’m on my knees worshipping at the altar of his monster cock and loving every second of it. He’s too big for me to take the whole length inside my mouth, and I move my hands to cover the inches I can’t take. After trying to close my fingers around the base, I finally give up and work him over as best I can, sucking in my cheeks and using my tongue underneath.
I feel Ronan moving against me, and I glance up, wanting to see his face. His eyes are closed. Seems he’s unable to stick to his own rules in this twisted game. I reach down to touch myself as I suck, feeling dirty and raw as I do. Swirling my tongue around the tip of Ronan’s cock, I lick up the salty essence of his unique taste.
“Don’t stop, Savie.”
My pussy clenches at his words, and I know he’s close. I moan against his skin and he pulls me even closer, becoming frantic in his breathing and movements. I love the feeling of his fingers tangled in my hair, guiding me to his greatest pleasure. This is the first time I’ve ever tasted a man in this way, but I’m not worried. It’s like I want to take a part of Ronan with me when I go, take his DNA into my body.
I rub myself faster as I pleasure him, and my own breathing becomes haggard. I’m going to come with a cock in my mouth and underneath the pressure of my own hand. Thank God TMZ can’t see me now, vulnerable and surrendering to a man that more closely resembles a Neanderthal than any metrosexual on the streets of L.A.
I’m about to explode, I’m so close. I moan again, and this time Ronan lifts his hips, thrusting himself so deep inside my mouth it almost trips my gag reflex. Looking up at him, our eyes meet as we slip over the edge together. Sucking down every drop, I realize I’m never, ever going to be the same once I leave Wintervale.
Because…just as I’m taking a part of him with me, I’m also leaving a part of me behind.
Chapter Nineteen
Ronan
“We thank ‘em for their gifts.”
Mary stands beside me, naked as the day she was born. In the past, I’d have shoved her to the ground and fucked her hard and fast, coming deep inside her fertile womb. Now, Savie’s ruined me for all other women. I’ve had mouths on my cock before, but I’ve never felt anything like the heat and wetness of hers. One glance down at her ruby-red lips wrapped around me, and I came so hard that I saw stars and had to steady myself to keep from blacking out and falling down. The worst part about my self-betrayal?
I want more.
I want so fecking much more, I can’t even speak of it. Even to Caris. She’ll only start spouting her drivel about Savie being the one…and she’s not the one. Not even close.
Baaaa.
The bleat of a sheep snaps me out of my revelry, and I chastise myself with a severe shake of my head. Woolston McOvine looks up at me with her liquid brown eyes, almost as if she’s telling me to hurry it up. She lives in the shed with Mateo, and her only job on the farm is to give of her wool each Yule. I’ve performed this sacrificial ritual the night of the solstice festival every year since I came of age at thirteen. I lost my virginity that first night to a woman twenty years my senior. I can still remember the pride that puffed my da’s chest at my success in demanding her submission.
It’s a ritual that only involves two people. The Bard and his woman. Every year since my twenty-first, that woman has been Mary. Sadly, this eve, I see someone else’s face every single time I close my eyes. A wave of sadness flows over me, and I struggle to retain my focus. The ritual’s important to me, even if the woman no longer is.
I raise the sharp knife high in the air and bless it, the familiar words flowing over me. Bringing it down, I shear a swath of wool to offer as a gift to the pagan gods we worship, in hopes that we’ll have a bountiful year full of robust crops, health, and happiness for our people.
Mary moves forward and presents her naked body to the altar. “We thank ‘em for their gifts,” she whispers.
I drag the knife across her full breast, careful not to leave a mark. Once I reach her thick head of auburn hair, I twirl a tress around my finger and snip it off with my blade. Presenting it to the gods along with the wool, both Mary and I bless Wintervale and all of her creatures great and small using the ancient Gaelic language.
Once the ritual has ended, I wrap my fur mack around Mary’s slender shoulders. She doesn’t start shivering in spite of the low temperatures until it’s all over. When we’re in the midst of our worship, it seems as if all worldly sensations remain at bay, almost as if they understand the importance of retaining the integrity of the sacrifice.
“Why are yer covering me, Ronan?”
Ach, I’m not in the mood for female drama right now. How am I supposed to explain that I no longer want what she’s offering? That she’ll never be my wife in spite of her continued machinations. That I pine for another that I can never have.
I miss yer already, Savie, and yer not even gone yet.
I lose the empathy I feel within the blustering grit that I offer instead. “’Tis time for yer to go home, Mary. The ritual is over. We’ve offered our gratitude to the Gods and now the rest is up to ‘em.”
“But my woman’s core aches for yer. When yer look at me, Ronan, my flange tingles. Every year for the past nine, we’ve sealed our ritual with another more personal one of our own. Don’t yer want me anymore? What ‘av I done to displease yer?”
I imagine her standing in the middle of the pub, making fun of Savie and being rude and aggressive toward her. Then I imagine her flagging Declan down in the street with a magazine in order to hurt Savie again, and it sickens me. She sickens me. I’m going to have to find a new partner to perform this ceremony with me prior to the next Yule.
Unbidden, Savie’s beautiful face comes to mind. I imagine her lush curves bare to my eyes as well as Mother Nature’s as she offers herself in gratitude to the Gods. I offer a lock of her lustrous hair as well as sheep’s wool, holding the offerings high in the air. After we sing the blessing in perfect unison, I cover her body with my own and claim her as mine by connecting our bodies in a ritual as old as time itself.
And all is right with the world.
My disappointed member twitches underneath the folds of my robe. The moment escapes my sanity again and I glance up in time to see Mary staring at me, waiting for a respons
e. And I have none outside of what I’ve already offered.
“Yer done naught wrong, Mary. I’m just not in the frame of mind to perform anythin’ further tonight. I’m exhausted after my musical performance this eve.”
She thrusts her lower lip out, and I want to not notice as it quivers with emotion. Those amber eyes pool with unshed tears. It should tug at my heartstrings, and yet…it doesn’t. I just want the moody and deceitful woman out of my sight. Prior to Savie, women always tugged and pulled at me, striving to take things that I wasn’t willing to give. Savie’s the first woman who’s offered herself completely with no questions asked while wanting nothing in return. Much like the gratitude gifts I just offered in ritual, Mary’s pussy only comes with a price. And I’m fresh out of the currency to pay it.
“But—”
“Enough,” I snap with a wave of my hand. Immediately, I regret my harsh tone, but she’s making it impossible to deal with her manipulations. “I trust yer can find yer own way home? Yer did drive here, didn’t yer?”
A single tear escapes her eyelid and blazes a trail down her cheek. In a fit of emotion, she turns, drops the coat, and presents me her rounded arse, no doubt hoping I’ll get chubbed up. It’s a futile attempt to get me to cave in and flatten her. I’m not taking the bait. Irritated and frustrated, I turn and walk away, Woolston trailing behind me, her hooves crunching on the ground below us.
“Yer did well, me wee lassie, so yer did,” I croon to the sheep as I lock her inside the warm shed where Mateo stands munching on a flake of hay.
I sheath the sharp blade in a leather holster at my waist. Quietly, I slip inside the cottage, careful not to wake Savie. The last thing I need is more questions that I can’t answer fired at me by an overemotional woman. All I want is a cup of herbal scaldy and then a warm bed. Savie will be gone tomorrow, and I’ll be left here alone to contemplate a future without her. Maybe the sun won’t rise in the morn, cloaking my world in darkness.
After I have a cup of chamomile in my hand, I break down and allow myself the opportunity to look in on her. The performance tonight was well received, and the applause of my people lingered long after the last note floated away into the Irish mist.
I crack the door to my bedroom open and peek inside. A ray of moonlight carries from the window and illuminates her delicate features. Her hands are tucked up underneath her chin and her long, raven hair streams out across the pillow. I want to awaken her by twining my fingers into the thick locks and lead her lips to mine for another claiming.
Chasing away the yearning that floods my body, I walk toward the bed, every muscle tense. Once I reach the edge, I extend my hand and touch the silken strands laying against the white of the pillow case. I inhale, wanting to imprint her scent on my soul just as I remember the way she feels against me, skin to skin.
I’m going to miss yer, Savie. There will nay be another like yer.
A part of me longs for the simplicity of my life before I realized I might want something I’d never known was possible. Long ignored recesses in my body will ache for this woman for many Solstices after she leaves Wintervale.
Is the magic between us simply my body overcome with a lust I’ve never felt before, or is it really something deeper? More profound? The words of the Cailleach Beare float back across my brain.
Love and happiness shall abound for the Order, and bring forward a soul mate for the Bard, our leader, this Yule.
This Yule. Today.
With the rough edges wrapped around that obvious lie, I’m starting to question my own beliefs. This will be the very first time a prediction by the seer doesn’t come to pass as she portends. It’s hard not to wallow in self-pity when I realize the only anomaly regards me. But who else should take the weight of broken promises and emotional pain on their broad shoulders if not the Bard of Wintervale himself?
I jump when Savie turns her face toward me, and I fear her eyes will flutter open, spearing me in place. A soft snore escapes her lips, and I grin. If she were awake, she would get all huffy and insist she doesn’t snore. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to provide one of those obscene electronic devices complete with video to prove her wrong. I will never possess one of those soul-sucking cellular phones.
The streaming moonlight draws my attention, and I glance out the window. My ma would love Savie and her musical talents. I inherited my own from her side of the family. Before she passed, we used to sit on the front porch of the inn and play a lively tune or two to the delight of my da and patrons of the inn. I still can’t believe that illness claimed them both together, but my folks didn’t believe in traditional medical care. Caris and I know taking them to the hospital could have saved them, but they wouldn’t allow it. Now, we both have to live with that knowledge and the feelings of frustration that helplessness births.
A fleeting disappointment over what might have been pinches my heart into a twisted mass of regret. Seems I can’t do anything right in my life where people are concerned. I wonder if I should even be the leader of Wintervale. If I even possess the strength to continue. I study Savie’s smooth skin, wondering how I can keep track of her to know she’s healthy without possession of any electronics. I already think of her as mine to protect.
I last another few moments and then escape to the confines of the loft. With any luck, she’ll be gone before I even get up in the morning, and I’ll be able to skip the trite goodbyes. Declan is coming for her in his car, and she’s going to stay at the inn so she can get a head start as soon as the bus is finished. I wonder how much money she had to pay him to work on a Sunday when he said nothing could entice him to work on the Yule. Probably used her considerable charm to work her magic on the man.
Once in the attic, almost unconsciously, I doff my ceremonial robe and slide in to the spare bed naked, only to spend the next several minutes staring at the ceiling. I wonder if the mystic quality of the past few days is even real or just some figment of my overactive imagination brought on by one of my favorite times of year. If when I wake up in the morn, the only person with any recollection of these days will be me, a glossy mirage painted by the mist that lies between the gap of fantasy and reality.
I rub my temples where a headache is starting to form. I have to stop ruminating over Savie and her leaving. It’s done. It’s my current reality. No amount of worrying over it or wishing it were different is going to help ease the pain. Her life is in the US and my life is in a small grove in Ireland. We shared a poignant moment in time, no more, no less. I’ll give it the respect it deserves, but I don’t have the powers to make it into more.
With the thought of Savie’s lush body wrapped around my own, I drift into a fitful sleep, my mind adrift on hopes that will never be realized.
Chapter Twenty
Savie
Mel: Declan’s car won’t start. It’ll be several hours before Caris can get away. Do you think Ronan will see you safely into town?
No. Fucking. Way.
Savie: Your paycheck signer no longer rides gigantic equines down the road at the expense of her own safety and sanity.
This sitcom version of Murphy’s Law is going to snake up and bite me in the ass. I stare at my suitcases, the thought of leaving them behind tugging at my heart. It aches. For Ronan and what will never be but also for what I’ve been through over the past few days. I’ve squeezed more life into the time I’ve spent in Wintervale than I have in L.A. since I moved there.
Nudging the expensive case with my foot, I think through my options. I’m sure Caris will have them shipped. For some reason, I know I can trust the older woman. She’s a true friend with a heart of gold, and I’ll make sure she’s compensated for her time and trouble.
After what I saw last night prior to retiring for the evening, I’m not willing to spend another hour in this cottage with him. I’m so pissed that I allowed him to pull the wool over my eyes.
I groan, immediately regretting my choice of euphemism because my mind drifts to the poor, gentle sheep tha
t lost its life at the hands of Ronan O’Farrell and his evil actions based on some paganism that should have died around the time of Christ’s birth.
The liquid black eyes and soft bleats of the gentle animal are going to haunt me for the rest of my days. I struggled to fall asleep last night because of what I witnessed. I don’t even want to consider the curvaceous naked body of the flame-haired woman that offered herself to Ronan right alongside whatever fake idol they were both worshiping with their animal sacrifices.
It sickens me. I can’t believe I was so bowled over by a poser, thinking his beliefs were natural and beautiful.
He’s really no different than a yellow robe wearing, shaved head sporting Hare Krishna handing out flyers at the airport.
A flash of heat creeps into my face at my own expense, and I walk over to the window so I can slide it open a crack. A woman’s voice reaches my ears, and I stop in my tracks, straining them so I can make out her words. Rage quickly replaces the mild irritation I’d whipped up inside myself because I can’t believe the woman he fucked out in the woods last night slept here and now stands right outside my window.
“I still don’t understand why we can’t be together,” she whines, throwing her arms around Ronan’s neck and pressing her full breasts to his chest. “’Tis what everyone expects, Ronan. ‘Tis what yer ma and da would ‘av wanted.”
I stare in rapt fascination as he twists away from her.
“Nay.” His voice turns uneven and gritty. I can’t tell if it’s because of anger or desire. “’Tis dead, Mary. The past is dead and buried and nothin’ is goin’ to be served by talkin’ it to death. ‘Tis already been talked into the ground. Our interludes were born of youth and blossomed into a twin ritual practice that worked for us both. ‘Tis over now.”
For a long moment, the gorgeous woman searches his face, as if weighing her options. If I tiptoed down there, I’d advise her not to engage him any further. He’s wearing a look that I’ve never seen on his face before. It’s as if he’s had enough and one more comment is going to cause him to snap and turn into a towering inferno of annoyance.
Solstice Song (Pagan Passion Book 1) Page 16
