With Abandon: With or Without, Book 4

by J. L. Langley

  Aubrey turned his chair to stare out the window behind him. The way Matt had looked at him, so open and in awe like he could see through everything right into Aubrey’s very soul, had made something in Aubrey snap. That look could be dangerous. He wanted that. Even knowing it couldn’t be permanent, he longed to have someone who understood him so well.

  Matt had forgotten all about wanting to wait last night. Oh boy had he. Aubrey rubbed his prick through the thin pinstriped suit pants. Had Tee not been there to shoot him in the ear, he was certain he and Matt would have been naked in a matter of minutes. Matt had been a wild man, pressing up against Aubrey, moaning into his mouth and clawing at his back. Aubrey shivered. God help him when he finally got his mate in bed. They’d both go up in flames.

  A soft knock rapped on the door.

  Aubrey jerked his hand away from himself. Man, he was going to have to find some time alone this evening. It wasn’t like him to be this wound up at work. In fact, he’d been here three hours and hadn’t accomplished a damned thing. “Come in.”

  The door cracked open and Eleanor, the assistant manager of the Atlanta Buchanan where Aubrey’s office was housed, peeked in. “There’s a package for you. It was left at the front desk. The concierge signed for it.” She came forward, holding out a small cardboard box toward him. “I also have some messages. The operator has been directing your calls to me.” She laid several pink slips of paper on his desk as she passed the package to him.

  “Oh, that was fast.” Aubrey smiled, already knowing what was in the box. He’d ordered it late last night with next-day delivery, but he’d expected it to be sometime tonight when the package arrived.

  “If you’ll give me a few tips, I can make appointments for you. I’ve had several calls in that regard today. Something about the renovations?”

  Oh man, he needed to hire a new assistant. Eleanor had been doing things for him since his EA quit. It wasn’t fair for her to have to do two full-time jobs. “Remind me to give you a bonus.”

  She smiled. “I can do that.”

  Aubrey chuckled. “Don’t worry about the appointments. Just have the front desk take messages and I’ll call them all back.”

  “Will do. Let me know if you need anything.” With a wave, she left his office, closing the door behind her.

  Aubrey pulled his top drawer open and found a letter opener. Putting the box into his lap, he cut the tape. What would Matt think of this? He liked gadgets. He’d used the towel warmer every day since Aubrey showed it to him, and he constantly fiddled with the automatic hand sanitizer dispenser in the kitchen. Matt had the most germ-free hands in Georgia.

  The door opened and clicked shut immediately.

  Aubrey jerked his attention from his task, just as the scent of fear sucker-punched him.

  Carson plastered his back against the door. He was dressed as elegantly as ever, without a hair out of place, but his face was drawn and there were bags under his eyes. The feeling of impending doom skittered up Aubrey’s neck. What was Carson doing here in Atlanta again this soon? He lived and worked in Macon. Hadn’t Aubrey told him to call in sick?

  “Are you okay?”

  Taking a deep breath, Carson nodded. “I know you told me to call in today too and I did, but I had to go to my office and get some stuff.”

  “And?” This didn’t sound good.

  “And he cornered me.”

  Aubrey was beginning to wonder about Boskie’s sanity. Then again, maybe it was just balls. Boskie had a lot of balls. He thought he was above the rules.

  “I don’t even know how he knew I was there unless he had someone call him when I came in. He keeps calling me and coming to my apartment. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m ready to move. I can’t work at the Macon hotel with his office being there. It just won’t work.” His shoulders slumped, and he heaved a sigh. “I fucked up big time. I’m sorry to lay all this on you, but I don’t know what to do. And I heard him trying to talk someone out of those changes you want to implement and—” He shrugged. “I had to tell you. That’s why I’m here.”

  “Whoa, back up. When did you hear this? Start from the beginning. Get over here and stop clinging to the door like someone’s going to bust it down any minute. Wait.” Aubrey sniffed but didn’t smell the other wolf. “He’s not following you, is he?” Maybe this was way more serious than Aubrey had first thought. Was Carson actually scared for his life? Or just his job? And what did this have to do with Aubrey’s changes?

  “No. He didn’t follow me here, at least I don’t think he did, but he has been following me. He told me flat out that I wasn’t in a position to refuse him anything. And he wasn’t allowing me, allowing me…” Carson’s voice took on a higher pitch and quivered slightly, “…to call our relationship quits. Can you believe that?”

  “Actually, yeah.” Aubrey motioned for him to come sit in the seat opposite the desk. He took his glasses off, laid them on the desk and went back to opening the box. “Boskie is a competitive bastard and hates being told no. He’s a control freak.”

  “No shit.” Carson flopped down in the seat. “Wish I’d known that when I agreed to let him fuck me.”

  “The beginning, Carson. Start at the beginning. What happened today when you went in to your office? I assume he’s been calling all weekend?”

  Carson nodded. “And coming by my apartment.”

  For the second time in less than an hour a pang of guilt hit Aubrey. This mess wasn’t his fault, but he fully admitted it could’ve easily been him in this situation. He knew better than to get involved with a coworker just like Carson did. But maybe because he and Carson had gotten along so well, Carson thought it could work with someone else?

  “Okay, I went into the office to get some papers I needed to look over. The invoices for the changes in the lobby you’re making. Well, next thing I know Orin has me bent over the desk with my hands wrenched up behind my back. He was hard as a damned rock and making certain I felt it. He told me to quit acting like a child and stop ignoring him. In no uncertain terms he made it clear that I had no choice in the matter and that we were going to continue seeing one another.”

  This was seriously fucked up. Aubrey wondered briefly if he should tackle this problem through the pack. He motioned for Carson to continue and set the box with Matt’s gift on his desk.

  “Then his cell phone rang and he let go of me. He started talking to someone about how he didn’t think the changes were necessary and that money would be better spent opening new hotels. I didn’t stick around after that. He got caught up in his call, and I made a break for it.”

  It wasn’t a surprise Boskie didn’t agree with Aubrey’s proposal. He’d said as much to Aubrey’s face. At this point, Aubrey didn’t think that Orin had connected Aubrey and Carson’s association, or rather former association, but— “Does he know about us?”

  “No!” Carson shook his head vehemently, mussing his hair. “Oh man, no way would I tell someone about you. I swear it.” Carson dipped his head again and blushed. “I didn’t mean to tell Matt, it just kind of slipped out because I thought the two of you were lovers.”

  Carson didn’t have the usual telltale signs of lying. His scent hadn’t changed. It still didn’t fix the problem though.

  Aubrey was going to have to tread carefully with Boskie. He couldn’t have his CEO, not to mention a pack member, threatening people. Keeping an eye on Carson seemed the best way to deal with this at present. Maybe if Carson was out of sight things would calm down? Aubrey mentally patted himself on the back. My man, you’re a genius. “Are you serious about relocating?”

  “Yes. At this rate, yes.” Carson’s voice dropped to a whisper. “He scares me.”

  “I need a new Executive Assistant.”

  “Lateral move?”

  “No, a promotion. I’ll give you a raise and a relocation budget.” It was a smart move and not just to keep an eye on Carson and ensure their former relationship stayed a secret. Aubrey could see Carso
n as a CEO of Reynolds Inc. in a few years. The man’s record spoke for itself and Carson already had his MBA. On top of all that, Aubrey could trust Carson. This current predicament notwithstanding, Carson made good decisions and worked hard.

  “You’ll be able to learn the executive side of things at Reynolds Inc. If you want to advance, I think it’s a smart move, more visible. And Boskie won’t bother you if you’re working for me directly.” At least Aubrey hoped not. If he did, Aubrey was going to have to escalate things within the pack and deal with this as a werewolf issue. He couldn’t tell Carson that though.

  “Seriously?” An expression that bordered on astonishment and gratitude lit the younger man’s face. For the first time since he entered the office he relaxed a little.

  “Yes. You’re more than qualified. You can do more than a regular EA, and I plan on using you accordingly. It’s a win-win for both of us.”

  Carson gave Aubrey a wobbly smile, but his scent proclaimed relief. “Thank you. I don’t know what to say… I— Thank you. I promise you won’t be sorry.”

  “I know. Start looking into a place to live here in Atlanta. You can use a suite here at The Buchanan until you find something. I want you to start as soon as possible. I’ll handle everything with the Macon branch and talk to the manager.”

  Everyone knew Aubrey was looking for a new EA. It made sense someone from within would apply. Boskie had no reason to push things further. All that sounded reasonable. Aubrey just hoped it worked.

  Carson leaned forward, trying to peer in the box. “What is that?”

  “A color identifier.” Aubrey dug through the foam peanuts and pulled out the little black box.

  “What?” Carson looked at Aubrey like he’d sprouted another head.

  “I bought it for Matt. You point this end at something and it will tell you the color.” He pointed the gadget at his tie and pushed the button.

  “Dark red,” the electronic voice announced.

  Oh, that’s too cool. Aubrey grinned. The question was, who was going to drive who crazy with it? He pointed it at Carson’s shirt and pushed the button.

  “Pale gray.”

  Carson chuckled. “Yeah, you definitely need help. I’ll start by ordering Matt flowers from you or something.”

  Aubrey froze with the identifier halfway to his own shirt. That was exactly what he didn’t need. There could be no hint of a relationship with Matt. “As far as anyone knows Matthew is my roommate. A friend of my brother’s who needed a place to stay while going to college.”

  He set the black box down and sank into his chair. “Go home and get what you need to be at work tomorrow. I’ll call downstairs and arrange a suite for your use.”

  As Carson left, Aubrey laid his head back on his chair and stared up at the ceiling. His conscience ate at him. He should be looking for a wife, not playing with Matt. Was it so bad that he wanted to enjoy Matt for a little bit? He could let Matt go when the time came. He had no choice, and he always did what had to be done.

  “Do you know any gay bars in the area?”

  Matt completely missed the last step out of the lecture hall and would’ve face-planted if Jordan hadn’t grabbed his arm to steady him. Not only had he not expected that question, he hadn’t realized Jordan was gay. “Um, no. Sorry not my thing.” Maybe he was prudish, but going to a bar to pick up guys was as foreign to him as ballet or opera. Did he seem like the type to do such a thing?

  Letting go of Matt’s arm, Jordan frowned. “Aren’t you gay?”

  “Uh, yeah. I’m not into the whole bar scene though.” Matt frowned. Why does everyone seem to know I’m gay? First Keaton, now Jordan. “I didn’t know you were gay.”

  Jordan shrugged. “I’m bi, I guess.” Holding the door, he let Matt go outside first. “Don’t tell me you’re saving yourself for your mate or something.”

  With my parents as role models? Hell, yes. Matt snorted and tilted his head toward the gray, gloomy sky.

  “Hey, to each their own. I just figured I’d have fun while I was here before I go home and have to get married.” Jordan’s tone was on the cynical side in Matt’s opinion.

  Matt jerked his attention from the darkening clouds to Jordan. “You’re getting married? You have a mate back home?” Matt hadn’t thought he did, but if Jordan were getting married…

  “No.” Jordan blinked. “I haven’t actually picked out a wife or anything, I just know I’m going to when I get home. I’ve got to have kids and a family. It’s what’s expected…ya know?” Jordan paused for a second. “Besides, my mate is dead.” He gasped and shook his head, like he’d surprised himself. He flushed and rubbed his arms. “Wow, it’s getting cooler.” He rushed on like he hadn’t seconds before revealed such a heartrending personal thing.

  Oh God, how horrible. Matt was chilled too, but not because of the weather. “I’m so sorry.” He wanted to ask how Jordan’s mate had died, but he obviously didn’t want to talk about it. What must that be like? Matt had just found his mate, but already he knew he wouldn’t want to be without him…not like that at least. He wanted to call Aubrey, to talk to him and make certain he was okay.

  “Er, thanks. I can’t believe I blurted that out. You’re so easy to talk to,” he grumbled. Shrugging, he lightened his tone. “I try to look on the bright side. At least now I get to pick my mate.” Stuffing his hands in his front pockets, Jordan continued out to the parking lot, keeping pace with Matt.

  Once, he’d have thought getting to pick was the better deal too, but now he wasn’t so sure. He touched Jordan’s arm, slowing their forward progress. “If you need someone to talk to…”

  Stopping, Jordan furrowed his brow and stared right at Matt.

  A whiff of uneasiness tickled Matt’s nose and disappeared. Oh no, he hadn’t meant to make Jordan more uncomfortable.

  Jordan stayed there for several seconds, then the corner of his mouth inched up, so slight it was almost unnoticeable. “Thank you,” he whispered. Shaking his head again, he started walking. “Having a guy for a mate was a headache I didn’t need. No one would have understood.” Jordan hitched his backpack farther up on his shoulder. “What about you?”

  “My dad is the coolest guy on earth. He’d rather cut off his arm than force me to be something I’m not.” He couldn’t imagine not being himself. His chest burned with empathy. Poor Jordan. He’d lost his mate and he had to hide his true nature.

  “You’re lucky. What about your friends and pack? What about the guy you’re living with? Does he know you’re gay?”

  “Aubrey? Yeah, he knows. I think my pack knows too and—” Matt bit his bottom lip, embarrassed to admit that he didn’t really have any friends. Tara was sort of his friend, but she was Aubrey’s friend first, so did that count?

  “And?”

  “And I don’t have any friends who aren’t family or pack.” Matt’s cheeks heated.

  “If I find a gay bar, you wanna go with me?” Jordan asked with a hint of amusement.

  Maybe Matt did have a friend. “No way. You’re on your own, dude.”

  Jordan chuckled. “You’re really cute when you blush.”

  Matt groaned just as the chime indicating he had a text went off. Saved by the bell. He retrieved his phone.

  There was a message from Tara. Get home, it’s about to come a gully washer.

  Matt blinked and read it again. “What the heck is a gully washer?”

  Jordan grinned. “A rainstorm, and it’s pronounced gully worsher, not washer.”

  As Matt stepped into the apartment, thunder rattled the glass and lightning crackled across the sky. “Good God.” It sounded awfully loud this high up. He tossed the motorcycle keys on the table in the foyer and dropped his backpack on the couch. Talk about timing.

  He crept closer to the wall of windows. Something about the ominous clouds lent an otherworldly feel to the room. The way the apartment was dark except for the dim light of outside was mysterious, maybe even a little spooky. It grew darker by the second.
Black thunderheads dominated what was left of the clear afternoon, and he had a perfect view of the quickly approaching rain.

  The phone rang as Matt started to sit on the floor. “Ack.” Matt slapped a hand to his chest. “Geez.” Backtracking, he snagged the phone and a pillow off the couch. The caller ID read: Ridgecrest, Corde. Corde? Wasn’t that the wolf who peed on the other guy’s house?

  Matt pushed the talk button before the phone rang a second time. “Hello?”

  “Hello? Is Aubrey there?”

  “Aubrey isn’t home yet. Can I take a message and have him call you back?” Matt rounded the dining-room table and tossed the pillow on the floor right in front of the window. The beauty of nature loomed before him, and his excitement grew. The hairs on the backs of his arms stood on end with all the electricity in the air.

  “Are you the guy who helps Aubrey’s brother with the pack kids in his new pack?”

  Matt winced. He should chastise the other wolf for mentioning wolf culture without knowing to whom he was speaking. He didn’t want to end up a lab rat because of a newly made wolf’s carelessness. But it wasn’t his place. He settled himself on the floor on his stomach. “Yes. I’m Matt. Corde, right? You called last week?”

  “Yeah. Umm… Hi, Matt.” He hesitated for only a breath and started again. “You heard about the situation the other night?”

  “I did. How’d that turn out?” Hmmm, maybe he’d found at least one way he could help lessen the load in his mate’s life. This was a way for him to be useful.

  “Well, that’s why I’m calling.”

  Lightning struck a high rise across the street, or rather the rod on top of it, making Matt flinch. Was it safe to be this high up in such a storm?

  “Jase still isn’t speaking to me.” Corde didn’t sound happy about it.

  Matt wasn’t surprised. Just from what he’d learned the other night he’d surmised that Jase was a stickler for werewolf etiquette. “Try taking him a steak.” Matt pressed his forehead against the cool glass, trying to look down to street level.