by Anna Kashina
“What makes you think I’d regret them?”
“Won’t you?”
The air around them was so charged that it seemed to crackle. She felt dizzy as she inhaled his scent, even more potent now when he was so close.
“You must be joking,” she said.
“I must be dreaming,” he whispered.
She took another step forward, closing the distance. As their bodies touched, she felt a shudder go through both of them, so intense that she gasped.
He swept her up in a powerful embrace and she clung to him with a fierceness more overwhelming than anything she had felt before. His kisses left her disoriented, her mind slowly slipping away into the grasp of his dizzying scent, the hardness of his muscle, his skin, so smooth and hot that it almost burned. He scooped her into his arms and she held on, lightheaded from his closeness and his incredible strength. She floated in his arms as he carried her and then lowered her onto a soft surface, silky sheets caressing her skin.
She gasped and stifled a scream as he entered her, a sensation so intense that she almost came undone. He drove into her, again and again, until her body shook, letting loose the last bits of her weakening mind. The scream that she held inside found its way to her eyes and poured out in a flood of tears that streamed down her cheeks as she grasped on to him with the last of her strength. His movements were fast and powerful, driving her to new heights of ecstasy. She sobbed and dug her fingers into his skin, unable to hold on much longer and yet powerless to let go.
His last thrusts as he released into her made her lose herself so completely that she forgot everything around her. She couldn’t remember who she was or what was happening to her anymore. All she knew was his body against hers, so strong that she couldn’t imagine life without holding on to it. She floated in a void, his arms around her, powerful and gentle at the same time. Her face was wet with tears and he kissed them away, holding her close. She gave in to his hands, submerging in his caress.
He held her as she drifted into sleep, curled in his arms. She could never leave the safety of his embrace. She never wanted to.
When she woke, a little later, he was lying next to her, leaning on one elbow, watching her. Her heart quivered as he smiled down at her.
“Don’t you ever sleep?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I’m still dreaming. And if I fall asleep, I might just wake up. I wouldn’t want to risk it.”
She ran her eyes to the dots of blackening bruises on his chest and arms, where her fingers had dug into his skin with a force she couldn’t control. She gently brushed over them, feeling his muscles ripple from the touch.
“I’ve hurt you,” she said.
His eyes followed the movement of her hand. When he looked back at her, his gaze stirred with such feeling that she felt her heart race.
“I wish they’d never heal,” he said. “This is one memory I’d like to cherish for the rest of my life.”
She ran her fingers up his chest, watching his skin rise in prickles at her touch. Why can’t we do this all the time? The thought came unbidden, followed by another, more sensible one. Whatever possessed her to pursue this madness had to stop, and soon. Being with him was impossible on so many levels that it was useless even to dwell on it.
She sighed and dropped her hand away.
“We must sleep,” she said. “Or we’ll have no strength to ride tomorrow.”
In the dim light it seemed to her that his face showed regret, but he nodded and lay down beside her, closing his eyes. She watched him for a moment, but her tiredness got the better of her and she sank into a deep sleep.
Kara awoke to the sound of rapping on the door. She sat up. Mai was already on his feet, a towel wrapped around his waist. His warning glance froze her in place.
Morning sun shone into the room, illuminating the havoc of sheets and towels around the disheveled bed. Kara felt her cheeks warming up, remembering how they had spent the night. Whether it was friend or enemy outside the door, they couldn’t possibly allow this person to see it.
Mai slid into the outer room, his staff in hand. She jumped out of bed and wrapped a sheet in a secure knot around her chest to be ready for action as well, if needed.
“Aghat Mai?” a familiar voice called from outside.
Raishan.
Kara’s heart missed a beat. Raishan’s assignment at the King’s court was to protect Kyth. If he was here, it meant Kyth must have acted on his threat and followed her.
She felt weak. She couldn’t possibly face Kyth after what had happened between her and Mai. Not now.
“Just a minute, Aghat Raishan,” Mai said in the outer room.
Crouching behind the door Kara saw him fold away her scattered clothes, covering them with her cloak and fishing the room key out of her pocket. He turned and met her gaze. She nodded, then shut the bedroom door all the way and leaned down to peer through the key hole.
Raishan was alone. He stepped inside and ran a quick glance around the room. His eyes paused on Kara’s cloak heaped over the chair and on the tightly shut bedroom door, then slid over the finger-shaped bruises on Mai’s shoulders and chest. Kara felt her cheeks burn as Raishan’s eyes returned to Mai’s face with an impassive expression.
“I assume Kara’s with you,” he said.
Mai nodded.
“I’m here with Prince Kythar and Magister Egey Bashi,” Raishan said. “As well as several other emissaries sent by the King. We are on our way to negotiate with the Majat Guild. Frankly, even though I had hoped to catch you and Kara on the road, I never believed we could do it.”
“My horse lost a shoe,” Mai said. “For the past two days I could only travel at a very slow walk. I cannot continue without first visiting a local blacksmith.”
Raishan nodded. “We’re ordering breakfast. Perhaps you and Kara can meet us in the common room?”
“We’ll be along soon.”
Raishan’s eyes flicked to the bedroom door again. Kara felt angry at herself for being so flustered about it. How she spent her time was no one’s business, especially after she was officially expelled from the Guild. Raishan could guess whatever he wanted. It was Kyth she was much more worried about. She really couldn’t bear to face him right now, knowing that he would see right through her.
She leaned back against the wall, hearing the creak of the closing door and the click of the key turning in the lock. After a moment Mai reappeared and stopped in the doorway, looking at her.
“I assume you heard everything,” he said.
She nodded.
“One last bath?” she asked.
“Sounds like a good idea.”
She followed him into the bath chamber. The steaming stone basin was big enough for at least four people, definitely enough for two to relax without disturbing each other. However, to Kara’s surprise, she realized that relaxation was very far from her mind.
She should be exhausted after last night. She should be worried about facing Kyth, only a short time from now. How could things have possibly gone so far beyond her control?
Mai dropped his towel at the edge of the bath and she saw that he was erect again. When he noticed her look, he lifted an eyebrow with a subtle question as he stepped into the water.
Wordlessly, she undid her own sheet and followed him. He held out a hand to steady her, and she used his shoulders for support as she eased over him, guiding him inside. Grasping him tighter, she moved up and down, feeling his hands clasp her underwater, helping her rhythmical motion. She tried to slow down, savor it, but her movements accelerated on their own accord. A moan escaped her lips as she closed her eyes, giving in.
His hands moved up, finding the exact spots to build her excitement, until she could no longer hold it in. As she shook in his arms in violent release, he came with her, his quiver inside her bringing the sensation to a new height. His kisses drowned her cries as she clung to him, no longer able to tell them apart.
Spent, she lay over his chest with her h
ead on his shoulder, building up strength to lift up and finally let him go. He gently stroked her back, his touch calming and not arousing anymore. She knew he was doing it on purpose, and she was grateful for it. This madness had to stop. They couldn’t possibly continue like this.
“You are so perfect,” she whispered.
“So are you,” he said.
Afterward, they finished their bath and donned their clothes and gear. Together, they made their way to the inn’s common room.
11
ARGUMENT
Egey Bashi lifted his head, watching Kara and Mai enter the room. He saw how Kyth’s face lit up when he saw her, and how his eyes darkened for a brief moment as they slid over Mai. However, as the two Diamonds approached the table and lowered into the last two available chairs, he also noticed more. The way Mai and Kara avoided looking at each other, yet moved in perfect unison, as if aware of each other’s thoughts. The way Kara blushed and turned away as she met Kyth’s eyes. The way Mai didn’t look at Kyth at all.
Egey Bashi peered closer. A small bruise darkened Mai’s skin inside his shirt, very close to his neck. It could be a punch mark from a fight. But if the Magister didn’t know better, he would have thought it looked suspiciously similar to a love bite.
His eyes widened as he glanced at Raishan. The Diamond had been the one to seek out Mai and Kara in the inn. He had probably entered their room. Had Raishan noticed something too?
Raishan’s impenetrable look confirmed his suspicions. Egey Bashi looked at Kyth again, seeing the Prince’s eyes narrow as he, too, must have noticed the subtle signs. Kyth knew Kara very well. It was too much to believe that the Prince could stay ignorant for long.
“I made arrangements to have your horse shod, Aghat Mai,” Egey Bashi said, aware how his voice cut through the building tension around the table. “I hope you don’t mind.”
Mai turned to him, as though seeing the Magister for the first time. His face looked drawn, as if he hadn’t had enough sleep. His damp, neatly combed hair suggested that he had just taken a bath. Egey Bashi cursed silently. While ordinarily this was none of his business, tension between Kyth and Mai was the last thing they needed right now. Things were heading toward a disaster, and he wasn’t sure if he knew anything humanly possible to avert it.
“Thank you, Magister,” Mai said.
Egey Bashi nodded. “We plan to ride out as soon as possible. Since, fortunately, we were able to catch up with you and Kara, we hope both of you will agree to continue this trip with us. We are, after all, heading to the same place.”
Mai glanced at Kara. Egey Bashi couldn’t help noticing how, when their gazes met, it seemed for a moment that they were alone in the room. Their eyes locked on each other for an extra instant, as if having trouble separating.
Egey Bashi cursed again, thinking of the conversation he had had with Kyth at the last campsite. Back then the mere possibility that Mai was attracted to Kara threw the Prince off balance even when he firmly believed that Kara would never reciprocate. And now, even if Egey Bashi tried very hard, he couldn’t imagine a worse turn of events. Given the Keeper’s inclination for pessimism, this state of affairs seemed a very hard one to achieve.
“I think it is a good idea to travel together, Magister,” Kara said. “If you’ll forgive me, I need to go and check my horse.” She swept past the Keeper and left the inn before anyone could rise.
Kyth sat for a moment looking after her.
“I’ll be right back,” he said.
Mai lifted his head, watching Kyth hurry outside in Kara’s wake, but he didn’t comment or move to follow. Egey Bashi let out a sigh. Perhaps this was the best way. If this trip were to continue without major incident, Kyth and Kara needed to talk things out, the sooner the better.
Kyth overtook Kara halfway to the stable. She paused, waiting for him to catch up. Kyth looked searchingly into her eyes, seeing her drawn face, her distant look, and the special set of her shoulders that made her look relaxed and tense at the same time.
He was sure something terrible must have happened.
He had to know.
He stopped in front of her, seeking out her gaze. “Did you and Mai…?”
Her eyelids trembled. “I don’t expect you to understand.” She lowered her eyes, her fingers absently twirling a string of her pack.
A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach made him instantly nauseated. It was as he suspected. Her expression told him as much.
“Try me,” he managed.
Reluctantly, she raised her eyes back to his face. “Things got a bit out of hand.”
“Out of hand?”
She sighed. “Remember when I told you I was different?”
“Yes.”
“I know you never believed me. But I did really mean it. I am not like you, not at all.”
Kyth continued to look at her in disbelief, feeling as if the world around him was slowly going awry. True, she had told him all that before. She also told him that she was leaving him, which meant that, even if she did find love with someone else, she had committed no betrayal. And yet, up to now, he hoped her only motivation was to do her duty. Hell, she had told him this much. Had she lied? Had she had feelings for Mai all along?
“The Majat training,” Kara said, “discourages any emotional bonds. However, we are encouraged to explore the physical ones, during our training. We do it to overcome the discomfort that could get us disconcerted in a fight – say, if it gets too physical against an attractive opponent. In such situations, sexual inexperience can become a serious handicap.” She paused as if waiting for Kyth to ask a question, but he kept his silence. “Later on, we are taught to control our sexuality, channel it into weaponry. In the end, it adds to our skill. In the heat of a fight, it’s often difficult to tell the difference.”
Kyth shook off his stupor. “You did it with Mai in the heat of a fight?”
“Yes.”
Blood rushed into Kyth’s face. “He forced himself on you?”
Her gaze wavered. “No. It wasn’t like that at all. I... It just... happened, that’s all.”
Her look told him questioning her further would be useless. Kyth took a breath to quieten his racing heart. He didn’t want to venture his thoughts on what had happened between them. He also couldn’t escape the feeling that she wasn’t telling him everything, but he let it be for the moment. He still couldn’t wrap his head around what she had told him.
“And it doesn’t mean anything to you?”
She sighed. “You know you weren’t my first man, right?”
Kyth nodded, at a loss for words. He knew, of course. She was not a virgin when they first made love, but in some ways she had seemed like one. She had been so detached, so distanced from any physical affection that it had taken a while for him to break down this barrier and convince her to let him close.
“You knew that, yet you never questioned my prior experience, did you?” she said.
“No.”
“Can’t we just leave it at that?”
He slowly let out the air he was holding. “Was it the same with Mai as what you had before with other men?”
Her hesitant expression made his gut wrench.
“It’s something that definitely wasn’t supposed to happen between two people of our training,” she said at length.
He continued to hold her gaze, suppressing the sting of tears in his eyes.
“I did tell you,” she said, “that things between us weren’t likely to work out. Even if I survive. I am just too different from you. In your world, I am not a normal person, not a woman who could make you happy. You deserve better.”
His lips twitched. “Isn’t that for me to decide?”
“Look,” she said. “I’m likely heading to my execution. As I told you before, I cannot let Mai do this alone. This hasn’t changed, regardless of what happened between us. I wish you would just let this go. Please. We have bigger things at stake.”
He nodded, trying to
control his trembling lips. I will not cry. I will not. “I understand. I try to. I just cannot possibly give up hope.”
She shook her head. “Sometimes you have to. That’s the only way to allow other things into your life.”
He clenched his fists until they hurt, forcing back tears. Was he truly losing her?
Had he lost her already?
“Kyth,” she said. “If we’re to travel together, we have to make it work. All of it. The fate of your kingdom – all our lives – depends on it.”
He nodded again. She was right. And yet, could he ever bear to look Mai in the face and not hate him? Could he bear the thought of traveling together with this hanging over their heads?
“I’ll go prepare my horse,” she said. “I’ll be back shortly. Will you be all right?”
Kyth nodded. As she turned and walked away, he stood still, looking after her.
He felt dumbfounded. He believed she probably meant what she said, but her hesitation when he had asked if what happened with Mai was the same as her prior experiences kept haunting him. She said they hadn’t meant for it to happen, but Kyth just couldn’t feel convinced. She hadn’t meant for it to happen, he was sure of it. But what about Mai?
He caught a movement behind him and spun around.
Mai.
Kyth’s eyes narrowed. Seeing the Diamond face to face made his hatred boil. Everything Kara had said, everything he had been thinking on the road even before his worst suspicions were confirmed, rushed into his face with a strength that threw him momentarily off balance.
“You… bastard,” he blurted.
Mai kept his gaze with an unreadable expression.
“How could you?”
Mai didn’t respond. He just stood in front of Kyth, watching him.
Gloating, are you? Kyth’s hand darted to his belt, drawing his sword. He thrust it at Mai’s chest, but the Diamond leaned out of the way in a quick, easy move.
Kyth concentrated. He used his gift and drew in the force of the wind, focusing it on the tip of his sword as he sent it around in a sneaky spin, straight at Mai’s heart. The Diamond stepped aside, so fast that the wind whirled around him. He no longer looked as if dodging Kyth’s blade was so easy. His face acquired the deep concentration that Kyth usually saw in a fight, his eyes following the tip of the sword that kept whistling around with speed and precision far beyond Kyth’s regular skill.
