Several showers run, filling the room with steam and making it sound like a rain storm from inside the suffocating building. No sooner than my hand makes contact with the oblong handle of the door, I have it open, my skin chilled by the sudden difference in temperature. The air is hot and muggy outside, but the brisk wind that rises up from the lakeshore offers a sense of relief that isn’t found inside the musty, pathetic excuse for a public restroom.
My heart flies through the doorway, yanking me behind at a nervous and anxious pace. Two steps forward and I see a face I have never been fond of; someone that has always given me the creeps.
“Whoa…where are you racing off to?” Mitch holds up his hand, forcing me to stop in my tracks and take two strides back against the door. “You eager to get back to your mid-afternoon activities?” He smirks, but all I can do is stare.
My mouth goes dry and suddenly I feel violated, spied on during a private moment and very ashamed. I keep my eyes locked on his, looking for any sign of joking or possibly a bullshit grin that says ‘lucky guess’, but I see nothing. His hazel eyes seem amused, as they usually do, and not at all resembling the charisma of his brother’s. The humor is drained of happiness and that ha-ha factor as he puts off more of an aggressive, bullying look that is meant to intimidate. I open my mouth, but he beats me to it as he steps forward and leans closer to me; too close.
“I tell you what…” I turn my head to the side, uncomfortable with the lack of distance between us. “…for someone that I wouldn’t have given a second glance to a couple years back, you sure have turned out to be a regular hottie. I sure hope my brother has been wearing it out properly.”
I cringe and ball my fists at my side, the urge to swing at him pulsing through my veins. He braces his arm to the side of the door with his palm flat on the wall, nearly blocking any escape I may have. My breathing picks up, coming one after the next and I swear I may very well fall into one of my episodes if I don’t find a way to get him to move away from me.
“So I heard this little rumor…I was wondering if you could put it to rest for me…” he pauses as bile rises into the back of my throat and my mouth suddenly fills with saliva, taunting me with a strong desire to throw up.
He knows; Trent told him. Oh God!
“Did you really get it on with your own cousin?”
He says the words that I had already feared and all the blood drains from my face, leaving me light headed, yet a relentless flame in my need to never be treated like shit again still burns inside of me. It dwindles and nears the point of going out, but with every ounce of mortification and humiliation that I currently feel, little-by-little it is revived.
“Did you like it?”
My lip curls into a snarl and my jaw tenses as I turn to stare right into his eyes. He disgusts me. How could anyone be so cold?
“I bet you begged for…”
Without thinking, an adrenaline rush takes over and controls every bit of my body as a crack sound fills the air. My palm burns and Mitch’s eyes widen. Looking down at my hand, I realize I just slapped him across the face. I glance back to him with a soothing sense of confidence and pride. He wobbles his jaw before locking eyes with me.
“You little bitch!”
The door behind me pushes me forward.
“That is enough!” Dad’s voice booms as he steps out; my mouth drops open.
What did he hear? Oh no, what did he hear?
“What the hell is going on?”
I’m stunned, frozen as Dad speaks. This is something I’ve shoved down so deep into the pit of my soul and I never, ever wanted my parents to find out; especially my dad. He stares me down then flings his glare to Mitch, who stands there with a pleased smirk. The only comfort I take in this whole situation is the fact that a flared up red hand print lies perfectly outlined and centered across his cheek. Good!
Dad holds his anger at bay, simply glowering at Mitch and possibly noticing my artwork on his face as well. I look down, pushing my entire back into the door again and hoping that I could somehow camouflage myself within the grains of the wood or disappear entirely.
“You…” He snaps his hand into the air, pointed only a foot or so away from Mitch’s chest. “I want to know exactly what was going on out here!” His tone holds no amount of kindness or approachability. “Someone better start talking real fast.”
“Or what…” Mitch says slowly, pushing every one of my buttons.
Dad instantly steps forward, right into his face and although Mitch is more than likely twenty or so years younger than him, Dad looks menacing next to him. He makes no efforts to back away, almost testing him.
Dad’s hand darts back up, this time digging into Mitch’s chest. “Don’t try my patience, kid. You may be bigger than me, but you are still just a snot faced little punk. What did you say to my daughter and what would justify her giving you that pretty little mark on your face?”
I cringe at his icy tone and wait, worried that he may turn it on me once Mitch delivers the truth of what we were discussing. Dad makes no move as Mitch coolly looks down at the finger jabbing into him. He moves his hand up and brushes Dad’s finger away from his body and finally recedes back towards the edge of the dock.
“We were just discussing how your precious little angel gets around,” he says, teeth gritted and a tight face while locking eyes with my father.
“I suggest you reword that. I won’t have someone talk about her like that.”
Mitch sidesteps, raising the corners of his lips into a somewhat evil grin. My stomach sinks with what he may say the more Dad pushes.
“Dad, let’s just go.”
“We will go when I say…” he keeps his voice direct, but his eyes never shift to me; they remain still, dead set on Mitch.
Raising his hands, Mitch surrenders. “Listen, dude, I’m not trying to start anything. I was just looking out for my little brother since they are both so young…”
I don’t even think. “That’s a lie!” My eyes go wide as I step forward and let my words fly. I know better than that. He could really give a crap about his brother.
Mitch looks past Dad to me, a cocky surprised expression on his face. “Oh, you mean you weren’t just knocking boots with my brother about fifteen minutes ago in his camper?!
“That is enou…” Dad starts, but I don’t even let him finish.
“You aren’t looking after Evan and we didn’t…” I’m seconds away from denying one of the most life-altering, tender moments of my life.
“Whoa, whoa…careful what you deny, because I’m sure my brother will confide in me what really happened.”
“He would not!” I spit out, balling my fists so tight the blood flow to my hands is sure to slow.
“Piper, that is enough. Let’s…” dad starts in again; this time Mitch interrupts him.
“Or would he?! I’m sure your dad would be interested in knowing you got a little busy with Trent too.” He smiles as all air leaves my lungs.
I shift my eyes to Dad. His eyes go dead, lifeless as his entire face shifts to an indescribable expression that I’ve never seen before. My head whirls and spins and my heart plummets to the pit of my stomach like a stone being tossed into a river; I’m crushed, in absolute anguish and want nothing more than to run and to keep running until there is no feeling left in my body. Silence surrounds us for what seems to drag on for an eternity before Mitch opens his intrusive, uncompassionate mouth again.
“What, no denying that?” He chuckles and Dad’s face goes white as he turns slowly around to face him.
“I suggest you leave now.” It comes out as a whisper with the hint of a threat and something about the way he says it scares me more than if he would have screamed it.
“Mitch, hey…” I look past them and see that Mitch’s friend Tristan, decided to join in on my humiliation. “Let’s go, man.”
He doesn’t budge as his friend nudges him, placing his hand on his shoulder. Mitch and my father continue their stand
off as I remain frozen in terror of so many people knowing my secret; knowing something that I have worked so hard to shove down into the very bottom of my soul; something I trusted to only one person and one person alone. Oh God. He told him; he betrayed me. He shared one of the scariest and most shameful moments of my life with his brother. Someone that is likely to tell anyone and everyone with no concern of whether it would make me look like a fool, or something dirty and vile for allowing it to happen. Who all knows? Why would Evan have told him? How could he?
Ice surges through my veins and the fluttering sensation that resided in my heart only minutes ago subsides. Mitch’s voice interrupts my thoughts and I realize Dad hasn’t moved a muscle or said a word.
“Oh what…” He places his hand over his mouth, mockingly. “You mean you didn’t know that?” His eyes dart to me, but Dad stays still, his shoulders slumped forward. Mitch looks back to him as Tristan reaches his hand back up to coerce him away from the scene.
“Man, let’s just go.”
“No disrespect, really,” Mitch ignores his friend and starts in with his best performance yet, however, I’m not fooled. He’s enjoying this, torturing me, for what reason I have no idea. I think he is one of those sick individuals that only get self-gratification at the mercy of someone else’s demise or utter mortification. “I just thought that’s something you might want to know about.”
Finally, Mitch turns to go with his pal, stepping away slowly in the direction of the convenience store at the end of the dock.
Dad remains in his stance and although I cannot fully see his face, I can make out the same humiliation and defeat in his posture that I hold in my own. He is ashamed of me; he thinks I am dirty and indecent. I look up towards the sky, wishing this whole day away…every…single…bit of it. There is nothing about this day that I do not regret. The stretched out silence that rings out in my ears is disturbed by an array of noises. All this time, the splashing of water in the distance, skiers darting by out on the lake with a whoosh, yells and laughter and the usual tranquil hums of nature that now just seem like an annoyance, all slam into my eardrums and snap me back into reality.
The shuffling of fabric joins the symphony of sounds as Dad gradually turns to face me. I glance up, straight at his face, scared to death to stare him in the eye, yet I look anyways. His eyes don’t even make contact with my face, they focus on the dock below his feet as if he is studying it or thinking.
With a deep breath, he opens his mouth and I cringe. Tears begin to flood my eyes before he can even say a word.
“Piper…” it comes out through what sounds like gritted teeth. He’s mad at me. “We are leaving…now.” The same whisper he used with Mitch is now being turned on me, free of the threatening tone, but replaced with an urgency.
“Dad,” my voice quivers and I barely hold the tears back. “I didn’t…”
“I know. We will talk about it when we get back to the cabin.” Finally, he looks around, glancing from side-to-side as if he is just now aware that we are in plain sight of everyone in the camp ground. Oh God, who all heard? “Let’s go.” He moves past me without another word.
I don’t move as he walks around me like I’m some stranger he is passing on the street. All I want is for him to throw his arms around me and tell me it’s ok. I’ve kept this pent up inside me for so long, only trusting one person to keep my secret, yet here it is; it’s out. Dad knows, but now, rather than the comforting arms of support that I’ve always hoped for had he found out, I’m hit with the same wave of disgrace that I felt back then, only it’s being tossed in my face. I’m being made to feel that it was in fact my fault. Am I misreading this?
I stare down at the dock where Dad’s feet had been, only he is now walking in front of me, heading off the dock.
“Dad,” my voice vibrates once more. “I need to explain. What he said about Trent…”
“Piper!” he snaps with the tapping of his shoes against the wood surface of the dock immediately coming to a stop. “Let’s go now,” his voice cracks, telling me he is not mad; he doesn’t necessarily blame me. He knows; he doesn’t want to hear an explanation; he already knows I didn’t do it of my own free will.
Just as my tears spill over, running down my cheeks and dripping down my chin I see the one face that I have come to look forward to each and every time I am out here, only now, it turns my blood cold. Every fiber of my body tenses.
Evan looks at my dad and although I would think Dad would want to punch him or tell him to stay the hell away from me, he does nothing. He moves off the dock and keeps on his path to our cabin. My gaze leaves Dad and returns to Evan; I look right into his eyes.
Instantly cocking his head back, he shoves his feet into the ground and abruptly stops. Nothing about him looks the same to me anymore. The corners of his mouth tick with the hint of a smile before going blank. Alarm quickly takes over every curve of his face as his forehead crinkles in confusion. Grinding my back teeth together, the subtle scraping sound furthers my craze over this entire situation. I suck in a shaky breath, trying my best to remain calm even though my adrenaline level is pushing me forward. It is urging me to get in his face after having to hold it back with Mitch. I wanted to punch him, not just slap my hand across his face like a pissed off woman in one of those old movies. Now that rush of anger is spilling out of me and directed right at the one who started it all.
“Everything ok?” He seems clueless and that makes my temper flare.
“How could you?!” I hiss in a quiet yet venomous tone that makes him wince.
“I don’t…”
“I trusted you.” Both of my hands ball tightly at my sides, glued to my hips as I lean forward so that maybe my words will hit him like a punch to the gut. “How could you?” The same words are on constant repeat in my mind, echoing over and over. I don’t understand.
The mere thought of him trying to comfort me in any way, or touch me, or even the thought of how we were earlier stirs an uneasy feeling within me as if I’m back at that night. This whole thing does; all of it…his deception, his brother’s intrusive way of telling me and now my dad finally knowing the truth.
I hold my hand out to stop him from making contact with any part of my body.
“Don’t touch me,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes closed on my words. I hate feeling this; I don’t want to feel this. Why would he do this; why? How could he?
“Piper…” his voice carries an innocence that I’ve never heard before.
It pulls my eyes open, but it does nothing to shake the stronghold that the betrayal, lies and deception have on my heart.
“I don’t understand, but I’m sure I could explain if you…”
“Evan…don’t talk to me…” I continue in on my line of new rules in our relationship; on our now non-relationship. That thought rips me in two. The one person in this world that I knew I could trust and I now find out that he has violated me and left me with a crushed, more oppressed feeling than what Trent did.
I open my mouth again as Evan remains completely still with a pained expression painted on his face. “Don’t ever call me or come see me.”
I look at him as his eyes widen, emphasizing the heartache in them. That would usually stop me in my tracks, but not this time. This cannot be undone; this kills me.
“What do you mean? What about us? I mean…Piper, what’s this about?”
“How could you, Evan…How could you? I thought you…” I stop, realizing he’s never even said it to me. He doesn’t love me.
He shakes his head, still not getting it. I walk past him prepared to leave as Dad looks back from across the lot, motioning for me to follow along.
I turn one last time, to make it all clear for him.
“How could you tell anyone something so personal, something that I only told you? Why would you?”
“What?! Oh, no, no, no…” he looks around panicked, putting his hands up to try and stop me from leaving.
I back away. “This…
” I point at him and back to me slowly, clamping my jaw closed for a second with a lump forming in my throat and my eyes misting over. “…is over. I don’t want to see you again.” I take a deep breath and let the tears fall, hoping they will wash away the dirty feelings. “I will never trust you again.”
“Wait, no…” he shakes his head and moves forward but I can’t, so I turn and run; again. I run from the pain; from the torment that night brought me when I was too innocent to know who not to trust. I had no idea that someone could be so cruel and vulgar in their actions. I race away with dread vibrating through me for what awaits, facing Mom and Dad; to know that they will finally see this deep dark secret that I’ve tried to erase for years. Will they hate me? …look down on me? …blame me?
My thoughts drift away as I once again hear Evan’s voice through the door to the shower house.
“I had no idea back then…not at that moment anyways. I mean, when I first walked up, I thought for sure she was talking about what we had just done in the camper. I was trying to figure it out…searching for answers on how she could think I even had an opportunity to say anything to anyone in that brief amount of time, but when she said those last words and mentioned something she had only told me…it all slammed into me. I knew exactly what she was talking about. I felt like a piece of shit.”
Judd’s voice chimes in and I strain to hear. “So wait, what was the thing that she had told you?”
The sounds of the wind blowing through the trees right off the dock, instantly stop as if to help me out. I listen, my breath caught in my windpipe. The familiar presence of deceit creeps up on me, waiting. For a second I want to race in and scream at him not to do it again. He has no right.
Here I am, hoping to run into him and thank him for last night; to apologize for the way I reacted when he in fact came to my rescue like he always had before.
Evan’s voice stops me in my tracks and freezes all my fears.
“I screwed up there once before and I will never do it again. That’s for her to tell who she wishes.”
Breathe With Me (The Breathe Series Book 3) Page 10
