Only fifteen feet or so, but my chest heaves in and out from my hurried pace and large leaps that got me here in two seconds flat. I lift my hand, ready to knock, not even thinking anymore of what to say. It’ll come to me. Suddenly, a presence hits me; a feeling or sensation, and I look over.
The sun is setting over the lake, casting gorgeous beams of light over the waters that make it shine like ribbons of gold. But not even that amount of beauty captures my full attention. The dark hair and slumped over guy sitting at the edge of the dock grips everything within me and pulls me forward. Suddenly, I don’t just see the twenty-year-old man that I’m so in love with, I see a little boy sitting alone on a dock with his fishing pole in hand; the same little boy that eyed me as I arrived at this place that first day, innocent and unaware of life’s challenges and all the weight it can put on you. I see the little boy that looked so badly like he was in need of a friend to share all his secret hideouts with.
I race forward, running with a joy in my heart like I did after the first time I told him that I love him, running down that same hill. As soon as my foot steps on the dock, I expect an uncomfortable nostalgia to wash over me; for remnants of the past to sneak up and pull me into darkness. Breathe? I look at Evan, still with his back turned and know that those words will never have the same meaning. They won’t have to save me anymore, but they will always be a part of me; a part of us; the bond that started it all. He lets out a heavy sigh, his entire body rising, then falling back down as he stays slumped forward. He looks as if he needs those words today, because now, I’m free.
SITTING ALONE ON THE DOCK, the same place that I had my first kiss with Piper, I stare out at the rippling water and feel nothing but loss and emptiness. I never realized how much I need her; I love her. Squeezing my hand over the pole that has nothing but a cheap ass lure attached to the end, a gentle breeze blows and I catch the flowery perfumed scent that I’d know anywhere.
“Catching anything good?”
The words flow through the air before I can even turn, and I am suddenly cast back to the memory of a twelve-year-old girl walking up behind me while all I cared to do was catch some fish. I turn, holding tight to my pole when all I want to do is toss it into the water and run to her.
Looking over my shoulder, the sun shines over my head and across her, making her black locks of hair shine, the stuff she has on her eyes shimmers like glitter and her skin glows in a soft milky tone. My eyes pulse open wide in delight at seeing her standing there, completely unexpected.
“I caught some ink on my ass recently. No luck with the fish,” I joke as always, but too caught up in a river of emotions to laugh.
I start to apologize, but she laughs, a carefree, calm and confident sound that I haven’t seen in a long time; I stop all thoughts of not being myself.
“Maybe you should put their names on there and they might bite. You know, let them know your ass belongs to them, too.”
This cracks me up, igniting an ache in my ribs as I heave out a laugh. Abby, Abby, Abby…you sure as shit don’t keep your mouth shut either.
Piper, moves forward, not even gauging each step like she usually does; I regain my seriousness, still unable to shake my smile though. She takes a seat beside me, hanging her feet off the dock just like she has done a million times before, just to be beside me. I smile, a warmth filling my chest. I look down to her hand on the dock, wanting desperately to take it in mine.
“Evan, I’m sorry.”
Looking up, all sentiments and longing jolts to a stop. “About what?” I barely get the words out, unable to fathom what she could be sorry about.
“About everything. About putting so much on you. About blaming you. For making you carry this and never having anyone to talk to.” Her eyes mist over as her soft skin grazes over the hand I have in my lap. She pulls it into hers, wrapping it in a desperate hold, just like I wanted to do. I let out a disbelieving breath, ready to tell her there is nothing to be sorry for, but she goes on, “Most of all I’m so sorry that I pushed you away instead of pulling you closer. I can stand on my own two feet and I know now that I’ll be fine, but I can’t imagine a life without you in it. I want you in my life…big mouth and all.”
I chuckle, sliding my hand around in her grasp so that I can softly squeeze it to show how much I want her too. Her skin nuzzles to mine, fitting my hand like a warm glove as I easily slide my fingers between each of hers.
“I’m not scared anymore, Evan. I want you, in every way…no tears, no worries and no holding back anymore.”
My heart leaps, doing the wave and sparking a whole lot of attention from my other extremities; I keep it at bay though, wanting to take this step with her slowly and savor each courageous movement from her. Even I know moving forward has never been easy, yet here she is, ready to take that plunge; and I believe her this time.
I want to ask what changed. I want to ask what she talked to Trent about, but all of that doesn’t seem as important now. She’s here; I’m here; we’re together and she is saying she’s ready. Looking into her eyes a memory flashes before me, her hair still black as night, only shorter and her eyes dull with a fear hidden beneath them as she asked, have you ever kissed someone?
My shoulders rise and I suck in a deep breath, a sense of newness in the air.
She shifts her body, twisting at the waist to get closer to me. As soon as she moves our hands into my lap, I flinch, a rush of desire zipping up and down and circling all perimeters of my body.
Moving slowly with a hint of a smile, she whispers so softly, “Evan, you breathe, I breathe, remember?”
Every muscle in me relaxes as I move my other hand to set the pole down. I need to have my hands on her. Her eyes sparkle as she looks at me, and I truly don’t think my life has ever felt so full. I suck in a breath, keeping my eyes locked on hers.
I whisper back, ready to feel her lips, “I remember.”
Her lips fall to mine, but not before she utters three more words that have come to mean more than words alone; three words that mean more than any ‘I love you’ ever spoken, because when I said it, that’s exactly what I meant.
I pause before tasting the sweetness of her lips and listen…
She recites them to me for a change, setting my heart at ease and letting me know that I have her forever.
I listen as she whispers, “Breathe with me.”
“NO, SON OF A BITCH!” I yell out, digging both of my hands along the sides of the reclined black leather seat that I’m lying in. “Ooooouuuuuch!”
Piper’s hand comes over mine as I flick my eyes to her, catching sight of the guy that is hell bent on inflicting the max level of pain possible while giving a tattoo.
“Why the hell did I let you talk me into this?”
Abby’s quiet snickers meet my ears and I just know she has the same shit-eating grin I usually have when I tease the piss out of everyone.
“Stop being a wuss,” Abby laughs.
I look up at Piper as the needle sinks into my flesh again. “Oh geeeez!”
“Another couple swipes and we’ll be done…chill dude.” Ozzy, the long-haired, heavy-metal looking tattoo gun slinger throws out there like its everyday to have your ass branded.
Sure, I’ll just chill.
“Oh shit-damn-mother…”
Piper clears her throat, squeezing my hand harder. “Well maybe if you hadn’t complained like a little girl every two seconds since you got it, I wouldn’t have even suggested butching it up.”
Abby cracks up and I strain my neck to try to see her. Is she staring at my ass; great!
“Hold still,” the tat-tyrant pipes up.
“And fortunate for you, she asked my advice,” Abby says, sounding way too chipper over my agony.
“Oh yeah, feeling real lucky here, Abs,” I mumble in a sarcastic tone while gritting my teeth from another sharp, searing pain that flies over my skin.
“Plus, Piper wanted to make sure if you decide to start wearing thong sp
eedos to the lake, that you at least look manly doing it,” Abby keeps rolling out the jokes while I’m being tortured one swipe at a time.
I huff out a breath and roll my eyes even though no one can see.
“Oh, I bet that one shop has a pair you could get…hey, they may even have flavored ones, huh, Evan?” she goes on, trying to get a rise out of me.
Piper laughs, throwing her other hand over her mouth.
“You guys are enjoying this shit aren’t you? Ha…ha! Let’s all joke while Evan’s butt is being shredded one swipe…” I strain to look back at the needle jabbing fellow. “Swipe is the word you used, right?” I direct my question to ole Oz, not waiting for an answer from the only dude I know that could be truly that focused on confidently staring at another man’s ass. “…yeah, one swipe at a time. Feels like I’m getting the worst shave of my life with a rusty old razor and hot sauce.”
Piper bounces up and down, clearly entertained by me being on the receiving end.
“Strawberry…don’t forget to get the strawberry ones,” Abby adds, keeping a serious tone and throwing my smartass comments back at me.
Pipers whole body vibrates and shakes more, tears spilling from her eyes as she tries desperately to hold back her laughter.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.” I look at her with a smirk, not an ounce of happiness over me sitting in this chair, but psyched as hell to see her happiness, even if it is at my expense.
“Ok, all done,” Ozzy announces in a bored-as-hell tone like he just finished taking his ACT’s.
Holy freaking shit, thank you!
Abby and Piper both crack up as I sit there, still exposed, my ass on fire, dumbfounded by how two girls could convince me that this was a good idea and wondering what the hell this is going to look like now.
The drive back to my apartment is less than desirable, with me hiking my left ass cheek halfway up in the air while pressing my face all away against the door. Piper drives, glancing over at me every few minutes while huffing out breathy giggles and telling me to suck it up.
“You try getting your ass stabbed with a needle over and over, for nothing more than a decorative design that nobody will ever see…well except you.”
She laughs, shaking her head. I guess I am whining like a little girl.
“You know; I was really hoping this would stop once you got it all butched up.” I sneak a look at her from the corner of my eyes, amused by her playful irritation. “I mean, what guy gets tulips and butterflies painted on their rear-end anyways?”
“Ask your best friend! Not me, that wasn’t my idea! If I was of sound mind, I would’ve never gotten a tattoo at all. Do you have any idea how much crap I will get for this from my friends?”
She glances over, her eyes squinted and her face devoid of any laughter or humor.
“Evan, you are completely sober today, yet you got a hammer above my name so that you can tell everyone you like to bang me…” She rolls her eyes and I crack up.
Yeah, a hammer above her name with splinters of sound shooting out around it and over the girly garbage as if it was just slammed down on her name super hard, was absolutely ingenuous. I mentally pat myself on the back for that as she goes on.
“So yeah, give me a new line. You have no excuse today.”
I snicker as we pull up to stop in front of my apartment.
“My excuse is, thanks to Abby, I had no choice. It was sink or swim. Make the damn thing my own or never show my ass again,” I say, completely serious.
I’m confident in my manhood and am all for nature and outdoor life, but there is no reason to have all that woman stuff marked on my backside. That’s typical high-school-notebook-doodle-art-stuff right there and it has no business on my body. At least this I can explain; I like to bang Piper…simple.
Piper jumps out of the car, no sooner than she puts it in park, and runs around to get my door. I let her help me out, kind of enjoying acting like a baby and getting spoiled by her. She sneaks me an all-knowing smile and shakes her head once again, a reaction I’m getting used to when she has to put up with all my bullshit.
“Sooooo dramatic,” she teases.
She’s right…I’m not even going to argue that one. I pestered Abby about this tattoo from day one, however, that is not my fault. This tattoo has been the topic of conversation from Judd giving me endless crap, to Jake pointing out how I said I would never get one, and then to Abby of course, who lives for the fact that she got one over me. I’m still dead set on never drinking around her again.
We make it into the apartment and where I’d usually have no bigger goal than to kick off my boots and plop down on the couch, today is different. This particular tattoo may have been my idea, well not technically, but I got to say the when, where and what. However, unlike the last one that I was pass-out, barely-know-my-own-name drunk, this one I got to experience the full amount of head-spinning pain. Why do people get these willingly?
“Where you going?” I ask, as Piper makes her way to the bedroom.
I follow, somewhat excited as she glances back to me without a word. Keeping my eyes locked on her, I watch as she spins around seductively beside the bed and starts to undress. Whoa!
In the past few months since we got back together, physical contact and intimacy has become normal. I wouldn’t say we’re the hound dogs that I would like us to be, but the need to remind her to breathe and stay with me, has become a rare thing.
“I don’t know,” she says innocently, but with a glimmer in her eye that tells me that she does know; yeah, she wants me. “Guess it’s just something about you getting a hammer on your ass today.”
At the risk of ruining the moment, I spit out a thunder of laughter at her words. Now that’s my girl. Wow!
Flicking my hand to the button of my jeans, I swiftly unsnap them, tug my zipper down in a flat second and push them down to my hips as I enlighten her with my own words, “Well, well…I definitely have a hammer for you…Owwwwwwww!” I holler out, fully killing my mood and shooting my happy-humper down as a fiery stabbing sensation blazes through my cheek.
Piper pouts her lips, frowning as if she feels my pain. “Awwww, hurts pretty bad, huh?” she says sincerely. “Let me help.”
Oh yeah, I could get used to the spoiling.
She makes her way to me, slowly, with a sneaky grin on her face while maintaining eye contact the whole way; suddenly my butt isn’t the only body part throbbing. I stare back, surprisingly with my mouth shut. I got nothin’. Instead of trying to think up some lame smartass joke to throw out and potentially kill this awesome vibe, I grab the hem of my shirt and tear it off in one swift motion. Helping her out is the best solution here. I toss it to the ground and look back at her just as her hands touch down on my skin, raising the hairs on my arm, and other things, from the sudden warmth.
Sliding both her hands down to my waistband, we keep up our silent charade of ‘Come here big boy’ on her end and ‘Oh yeah, come get you some’ on mine. Pulsing my brows, our spell is broken as soon as she breaks into a fit of laugher, tossing her head back and pulling me down onto the bed with her. I don’t think she had that planned. We both land with a quiet thud. She lets out a forced breath mixed with joyous giggles while the waist of my jeans scrape over my bandage and instantly have my skin on fire.
“Ahhhh…” I scrunch up my face.
Hers, in turn, dips in pain as well. “Here…” She slides one hand in each of my back pockets and immediately the denim is pulled away from my sore flesh as she wiggles them back and forth.
Again, I help her out and get them off, kicking them to the floor along with my shoes and boxers. Piper wretches and slithers beneath me, tugging her top and pants down as well. The whole ordeal takes way longer than need be, and I’m thinking a pair of scissors is what may be needed next time; clothes are over-rated anyways.
After all of our clothes lay in a pile at the side of the bed just like I prefer them, I get comfortable finally, only sporting a bandage on my ass
. Her skin melts like butter against mine, lighting up every cell in me and hugging to my frame like we were custom designed for a perfect fit. I lie there…we lie there, completely memorized by each other.
For weeks, this is how it has been. It’s like we’re two horny, googly-eyed virgins, too nervous to say a word, wondering who’s going to make the first move and me about to blast off with the grand finale before we even get to the main event.
“So what’s next?”
I narrow my eyes, having no clue what she is talking about. “Well, if you haven’t figured that out by now, I am clearly doing something wrong.”
I lean up, careful to not send a wave of shooting pains through my backside. Flinging the night stand drawer open, my eyes instantly light up from the reflection of a purple box of condoms; all the latex, mustard colored ones made their way back to Judd’s place. Piper may be mostly healed and able to shake away all the nostalgia from before, but I prefer to take one thing at a time and not press it. Non-latex all the way from now on. I pick one up, before doubling my hand back for a few more. Tossing them to the mattress, I situate myself back against her with one arm bracing me from bearing my weight down and the other enjoying a slow trail up her side to the Appalachian Peaks.
She shakes her head on a shiver. “I meant, what’s next in terms of your butt?”
I smile. “No thanks, I’m not into that.”
She rolls her eyes this time and goes on, ignoring me, “Maybe a drill on the other side?”
“Mmmmm, I do like to drill ya…”
She moves her eyes to the top of her eye sockets as if her next comment will be found written on her forehead. “A screw driver?”
“Oh yeah, even more fitting, because you know I like to…”
She spits out a laugh, cutting me off, “A bat?”
“Hmmmm…” I think on that one. “Let’s start with…” I move my hand up, up and up, feeling every ounce of her silky smooth flesh until I find my resting place; the rest place. “…second base.”
Breathe With Me (The Breathe Series Book 3) Page 38
