by Lexi Blake
He lay down but reached for her hand. “I liked your glasses. I always thought about taking them off and laying them to the side before I kissed you. I missed you. God, even when I couldn’t remember your name I missed you. It’s better now.”
The pain was receding. He was tired again, but her hand in his felt so good. He threaded their fingers together.
“Nothing in his life has been fair,” Tag said quietly. “I don’t know who he was before, but he’s a good man now. I’m going to move the meeting. We can do this tomorrow and hopefully Tucker can be there.”
“Not until I’m sure he’s okay,” Rebecca replied.
They were talking, but he didn’t care. She was here.
She looked down and there was a sheen of tears in her eyes. “This isn’t fair.”
But she didn’t take her hand back. He wrapped his other hand around hers, trapping her because it might not be fair to her, but this was what he needed.
Even as he fell back asleep, he was warm for once.
* * * *
“You sure you want to do this?” Solo parked the Audi in the tiny garage connected to the small but luxurious apartment she owned here in London. It had been the first place they’d gone after the private jet had brought them here from Germany. “You can stay here for as long as you like. I’ll take you back and forth to The Garden.”
“I’m not sure of anything.” Roni sighed, the events of the day playing through her head. She’d sat there for a long time, holding Steven’s hand even as he’d fallen into a natural sleep. She should have immediately walked out, but she hadn’t been able to do it. She’d sat there listening to the doctors talk about what had happened, staring at his face and wondering what he’d been through in the last few years. “I don’t know that man.”
Except she did. The man who had told her he liked her glasses and held her hand like she was a lifeline was exactly the Steven Reasor she’d fallen for.
This was not how she’d expected to feel. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected beyond anger, but it certainly hadn’t been compassion. More than that, she hadn’t expected how warm she would feel the minute he’d touched her. He’d engulfed her hand with both of his and she’d remembered how safe this man could make her feel.
Did she not have the whole story?
“It might be good to keep some distance,” Solo said, not moving to get out of the car. “I know Ian wants you to stay at The Garden, but I can handle him if you want to stay here. I’ll go with you back and forth and your mom can keep Violet. Ian isn’t going to mention her to Tucker right away. You have some time.”
She shook her head. “No. If I’m going to do this, I should be there. Besides, I’ll feel better if Mom and Vi aren’t alone all day. Mrs. Knight showed me around. The building looks secure. And I was told I could work with someone named Jax to get me everything I need to eventually return to the States.”
Jax, she’d been told, was some kind of genius with a computer. He might be able to help her with more than mere documents. She still had questions. So many of them, and it appeared the people Steven was aligned with might have answers.
“I think that’s a good idea. I’ll hand over everything I have on your case.”
“Will you stick around?” She’d gotten used to Solo. She didn’t trust the woman completely, but so far Solo had come through for her.
“For as long as I can,” Solo replied. “You should understand they don’t trust me. My ex-husband is in charge of the team Tucker’s on. I had to do something they didn’t like a couple of weeks back, and to say he wasn’t happy would be understating things.”
It had been interesting watching Solo deal with a bunch of very suspicious people. “So Taggart’s right and you came after me as penance?”
“Pretty much.” She opened the door. “Not that it’s likely to work. Let’s get you packed up. Have you decided what you’re going to say about little miss sunshine? Or are you going to lie to him?”
She forced herself to move, opening the door as the garage closed behind her. “He’s her father. If he’d lived, I would have told him about her. Likely in four letter words. Trust me. I meant to get cash out of that asshole. But then…”
“Your sister was killed.” Solo tapped the code in to open the door to the townhouse. It beeped and turned green.
“And then I was told Steven died.” She could still remember hearing that news. She’d been caught between rage and relief. There had been no closure for her, no moment when she could tell the man exactly what she thought. No moment when he could tell her why he’d done what he’d done.
Solo opened the door and stepped into the hallway that led to her ultramodern kitchen. “How did you find out Reasor was dead?”
“I kept in touch with one of my sister’s friends. She wasn’t interested in following up on Katie’s story, but she sent along information about McDonald and her group.” Her sister’s friend had sent her the information quietly, and she’d been the one to tell them to stay hidden. Roni had tried to learn as much as she could about what Katie had been investigating. She didn’t know everything. There was a lot she seemed to have gotten wrong, and she owed her sister. She needed to find the truth and hold people accountable. “Dr. McDonald was a pro. She even had a small newspaper in Argentina cover the story of his death.”
“Yes, she had help, I suspect,” Solo said. “Her father was a senator with ties to the Agency.”
“Which is precisely why we shouldn’t be working with a CIA agent.” Her mother stood in the kitchen. Despite the fact that it was almost ten p.m., her mom hadn’t changed into pajamas. Nope. There was no fluffy robe and slippers in her mom’s closet. She was dressed in the utilitarian cargo pants and T-shirt she normally wore. The better to hide all her weapons. Sandra Croft had been a nurse in the Army, but she was more of a soldier now than she’d ever been. Since losing Katie, her mother had gotten infinitely harder. “But I believe I’ve made my opinion plain.”
“You certainly have, Mom.” They’d gone endless rounds over it. “You get your wish. We’re leaving.”
Her mom’s shoulders dropped in obvious relief. “Good. I’ll get Violet ready.”
Roni braced herself for another fight. “We’re moving over to The Garden. I met with Taggart and he seems solid. There’s a lot we don’t know, and I think his group can help us. I’ve got a piece of the puzzle and he has several. I want to know what he does.”
“I didn’t mean we should trade one CIA operative for another,” her mom said, her mouth a flat line. “I meant we should go back to Germany. I was making headway.”
She was lying to herself was what she was doing. It had been a solid year since they’d had a lead to follow concerning Katie’s death. No one cared anymore. But Taggart might, especially if she could prove Katie was involved in trying to take down McDonald.
“Taggart’s not CIA,” Solo said, leaning against the island. “He got out a long time ago and really, that was for the best. He’s shit at undercover. The man is totally impatient and intolerant. I heard once he punched an informant because he chewed too loudly. He’s better at shooting things. It fits his personality.”
Her mother ignored Solo. “And that Knight fellow is former MI6. Former MI6 means he’s likely currently associated with them. Do you understand what you’re risking?”
“Mom, I can’t hide forever. I can’t pretend like no one will ever find me as long as I work in a tiny Bavarian town selling tourists Christmas ornaments.” It was how she’d spent the last few years. “Besides, I don’t honestly think anyone is coming after us, and maybe they never were. They got Katie. They don’t care about us. I’ve wasted years and I’m not going to put Violet through more.”
Her daughter would have to go to school soon. She couldn’t exactly tell the authorities that her work visa was fake because she was certain someone was trying to kill her over her dead sister’s investigation into Illuminati-like corporations, so her daughter needed a bodyguard while she
learned her letters. Nope. That wouldn’t work at all. It would all start to fall apart soon.
When she thought about it, Solo showing up on her doorstep had been a miracle.
Her mother was quiet for a moment. “We could go somewhere else. I can get us to South America. I have some connections there.”
“Yeah, you won’t stand out there at all,” Solo said under her breath.
“I’m not hiding in South America. I want to go home, Mom. I want Violet raised someplace where we don’t have to hide at all,” she said, though she’d gone over this a million times. “I’m taking Vi and staying with Taggart and Knight until we can get this whole thing sorted out. I would like for you to come with me, but I understand if you won’t.”
Her mother sighed and turned. “I’ll get ready then.”
She followed her out because she didn’t want to fight about this. “Mom, I’m sorry you don’t agree with me.”
Her mother turned as they reached the elegant living room. “Was it him?”
There was no question what she was asking. “It was him.”
“So Steven Reasor is alive.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” She quickly went over what she’d learned about Steven’s captivity. “Technically he’s alive. He’s been through some kind of medical testing. It affected his brain. He doesn’t remember who he is.”
But he’d remembered her.
“Or he’s lying,” her mom pointed out. “Wasn’t he involved in McDonald’s medical research? What if he decided the best way to get out of being prosecuted for his crimes was to become one of her victims? He could have been pretending all this time. Hide in plain sight. It’s a very old tactic.”
She didn’t think so. “He wasn’t pretending his heart attack.”
That seemed to stop her mother in her tracks. “He had a heart attack? From seeing you?”
“No. He was having some kind of reaction.” And he hadn’t been faking the pain he’d felt when he’d tried to remember. She’d seen how his stats had fluctuated. He’d been in real danger.
And then he’d calmed down when she’d touched him. Like she was magic or something.
Don’t be afraid of me.
The words had sounded tortured coming out of his mouth. He’d been so desperate in that moment that she hadn’t been able to turn away from him.
He was still the most beautiful man she’d ever seen.
“Tell me you’re not interested in this man, Roni.” Her mother had the same look on her face she’d had the one time she’d snuck in after curfew as a teen. Disappointment. Disapproval.
“I’m not interested in being his girlfriend.” She wasn’t going down that route again, but if he was alive, she had to deal with some things. “But he is Violet’s father.”
Her mother’s eyes flared. “He left her.”
“No, he left me.” She wasn’t sure what to do but she knew she couldn’t go back into hiding.
“I don’t know if he left you willingly.” At some point Solo had followed them, and it was obvious she was interested in the argument.
“He walked out willingly enough.” He’d kissed her and walked away without looking back.
“I’m interested in piecing that last day together,” Solo admitted. “So is Tag and the group. You’re the only one who was there, but I’ve put together some of the logistics. I’m not entirely certain Steven Reasor meant to be on a plane to Argentina that day.”
“Dr. McDonald was known for being capricious.” Humiliation washed over her every time she thought about that day. “I think she wanted to get him away from me. They were lovers and she wasn’t particularly happy he’d cheated on her with me.”
Although she also hadn’t been enraged. There had been a cold practicality to McDonald that day, but then it was normal for her. Shouldn’t she have been angrier? She had been later. She’d been colossally angry a week later when she’d fired Roni.
Solo’s face fell. “I’m going to hope she was lying about that. I don’t think Tucker will be able to handle it if he finds out he slept with her. She’s the devil in his mind. Look, I’m only asking you to give him a chance. He honestly has no memory of who he was back then. I’m suspicious about his entire persona. It’s a mystery and one I intend to solve. I don’t think he was at Kronberg to further his career. I’m worried he was there to investigate McDonald and got caught.”
She didn’t want to consider that he was innocent. If he was innocent, then he was tempting. “I doubt that. He liked his job and he was incredibly ambitious. I wasn’t the only one he played nasty games with. Ask Dr. Walsh.”
“He didn’t sleep with her,” Solo replied. “At least not according to Rebecca, but that’s her story to tell. He did hurt her though. Did you notice that she was the one taking care of him? She’s forgiven him because today he’s one of the kindest, most loyal men any of us has met.”
She hadn’t had a chance to really talk to Rebecca Walsh. The doctor had been too worried about her patient.
“Or that’s what he wants you to believe.” Her mother wasn’t going to let up. “But I can see my daughter needs closure. Let’s hope she’s doing this so she can move on. Not so she can fall back into bad habits. I’m not going to allow my granddaughter to be used by a psychopath. You should understand that here and now.”
“I’m trying to explain to you that he’s not a psychopath at all,” Solo bit out. “I was there the day he went into the coma. He could have fought but he went willingly toward that damn needle because Rebecca was in danger. He was willing to trade his life for hers. Whoever he was before, you have to judge him as he is now.”
Who was Steven Reasor now that he called himself Tucker?
“I didn’t know him,” her mother allowed. “I only know that he ripped my daughter’s heart out and was likely involved in a group that took my other daughter’s life, so you’ll forgive me if I’m skeptical. If I find out he was involved in Katie’s death, I don’t know that I’ll care about the fact that he can’t remember.”
She turned and walked away.
Solo shook her head. “Your mother is intense. I think she might have watched Terminator too many times.”
She’d often thought her mother could have been a model for Sarah Connor. “We’re all she has. She went a little crazy after Katie was killed. I don’t know what she would have done if I hadn’t needed her so badly.”
It was a lie. She was fairly certain her mother would have wreaked bloody vengeance on anyone she’d even suspected of having something to do with her daughter’s murder. Her mother would be in jail or dead if she hadn’t had Violet to concentrate on.
“Yeah, I get that,” Solo agreed. “I know this is hard on you, but I do promise this is a good group.”
“I checked them out.” She wasn’t a trusting fool anymore. “I have some contacts and they verified what you said about McKay-Taggart. They’re known for taking care of their people and their clients.”
“They’re white hats,” Solo said with a sad smile.
“And you aren’t?”
“My hat went gray a long time ago.” Solo sank to her couch, sitting back as though the day had exhausted her. “I always mean to do the right thing, but I have to think about what is best for my country. That doesn’t always leave me with clean hands. I can’t pick and choose my morality. I have to make hard calls at times. But not once have I made one of those calls with anything but duty in my heart. Until you. I should have taken you straight to Langley.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Solo was quiet for a moment. “Because I think this is going to get messy, and you’re innocent in all of this. That baby girl is definitely innocent. I can’t protect you the way Tag and his men can. They’ll protect you from everything. Even me, if it comes to it.”
Because if the CIA decided to use her, Solo would be the one to facilitate it. She got that. She knew the agent had divided loyalties, but from what she could tell McKay-Taggart didn’t. But their
loyalty would be to the man they called Tucker. Where would that leave her if their interests diverged?
“Should I tell him about my daughter? I could lie.”
“DNA doesn’t lie,” Solo replied. “That is Tucker’s kid.”
She’d forgotten or she’d gotten used to not thinking about Steven. She’d forgotten how much Violet was starting to look like her father. She had his gold and brown hair and god, she had his eyes. Blue and clear as the sky. It went beyond mere looks. She tilted her head the same way he did when he was curious.
Was she doing the right thing? “What if he tries to take her? What do I do if he tries to get custody? My greatest fear is he’ll take me to court.”
Solo snorted, an oddly elegant sound. “Oh, he’s not going to court. He’s wanted by Interpol for lots of crimes he sort of committed, but it was under duress, so that’s not going to be a problem. And Ian would never let it happen.”
“Tucker is his employee,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, but you’re his client, and he takes that shit seriously,” Solo replied. “Earlier today I wrote Ian a large check. He would protect you anyway, but now he has the resources to do whatever he needs to do. His job is to protect you and your daughter and your mother. Come on. I’m trying here.”
She took a deep breath and made her decision. “All right, then we’re going to The Garden and I’ll talk to Stev…Tucker about his biological child.”
He wouldn’t remember that he’d taken part in her conception, but he deserved to know because Violet deserved to know. Roni started toward the bedroom she’d slept in the night before, the one her daughter was sleeping in now. It would be all right. Tucker would likely not consider Vi his. After all, he’d said it himself. He wasn’t Steven Reasor.
“You’re making a mistake.” Her mother stood outside the room she’d stayed in. She already had her bag packed, but then Sandra Croft traveled light.
“He’s not faking it. If you had been there with me, you would know. No one can fake that. Someone tried to give him a cure and it went poorly. The man I met this afternoon, he wasn’t the same Steven.”
