by Laurel Veil
“You got another one of your headaches, Grandma?”
She nodded.
“Did you see one?” I asked.
She nodded again and dabbed at the corner of her eye. Now and then, Grandma would see a small ball of fire roll down her hallway. Afterward, she’d get a terrible headache. Probably from worry. And shortly after that, someone would call and tell her a relative had passed away.
I reached out and patted her hand that was now resting on the table. “It’s probably just a distant cousin you barely know,” I said.
“Probably.”
I smiled, then glanced at my watch. “It’s getting late. I gotta run, Grandma. Thanks for breakfast.”
“You are very welcome, baby. I love you. Be safe and have a good day.”
“I love you too.” I kissed her on the forehead before darting out the door.
“Noelle!” she called from the porch.
I turned around. “Ma’am?”
“I forgot to tell you, Jace is stopping by tomorrow evening to bring me some firewood if you want to visit.” She winked.
My heart fluttered. I’d loved Jace for as long as I could remember. “OK!” I couldn’t stop grinning.
“Come hungry. I’ll make supper.”
I was in such a great mood, I even let Nolan, the annoying boy who lived next door to my grandma, walk with me to school.
♦ ♦ ♦
A girl named Megan approached Ava in the cafeteria during lunch. “Hey, there’s going to be a party at the park tonight. Try and make it.” She didn’t wait for a response and hurried off to another table.
“We’ll be there,” Ava called out. Her eyes lit up when she turned to us. “Yes! This is going to be so fun!” Suddenly, she pressed her lips in a tight, thin line, and she looked directly at me. “This will be your first party with us. Don’t disappoint, or else.” She tipped her chin up and ran her finger across her throat like a knife.
“Sheesh, Ava,” said Dani. Ava cut her eyes at her, and Dani looked away.
“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Ava continued. “I’m just letting you know upfront, be cool. Don’t embarrass me.” She smiled, and her mood lightened as if a switch had flipped inside her. “So, let’s meet at my house—around six, and we’ll walk to the park together!”
♦ ♦ ♦
Ava was bossy, a total control freak. But that was what made her a good leader, I told myself as I stepped out of the shower and began leafing through my closet in search of something to wear to the party. She was brave too. It was Ava who’d approached me in gym class. It was Ava who’d asked me to sit with them at lunch. And it was Ava who’d placed the invitation in my backpack. The whole mysterious ceremony in the cemetery had been all her doing. Dani and Riley would’ve never done something like that without her. And if it weren’t for Ava, none of us would’ve been invited to the party—I probably wouldn’t even know Riley or Dani.
I sighed in defeat and shut my closet door. I had no idea what I’d been expecting to find. My mom hadn’t taken me shopping for clothes in at least a couple of years. I would wear jeans and a T-shirt as always. No one would notice, much less care what I had on. Besides, I would be wearing a jacket, and it was going to be dark. No one would even see.
I wished, almost to the point of tears, that my mom would’ve been home so she could’ve helped me with my hair. On my fourth attempt, I finally got it pulled back in a decent French braid. I held a small mirror up and looked at it from behind. Nice.
I added a smidge of shadow to my eyes and a little gloss to my lips. There. I didn’t look quite so washed-out now. I was surprised when my mom stepped out of her room at the same time I came out of mine. She was reaching behind her, trying to zip her dress.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were here,” I said.
“You were in the shower when I got home.”
I stood extra tall, waiting for her to notice my hair and makeup.
“Would you mind?” she asked as she turned her back to me.
When I finished pulling her zipper up, she said in a sing-songy way, “Well? Whattaya think?” She spun around.
“It’s beautiful, Mom.”
“It’s new!”
“You look great.”
“You think?” I smiled as I nodded, and she gave me a hug. It was nice until I got a whiff of wine on her breath. “Aw, thank you, honey. Rick’s picking his truck up from the shop. He’ll be here to get me in a sec. We’re going to dinner and then dancing.” I wasn’t sure if my mom was an alcoholic or not. She drank. A lot. But it was cute stuff like wine and drinks with umbrellas. And she was able to keep a job. A pretty good job. She had to dress nice and she traveled sometimes. I wasn’t exactly sure what she did—something with computers.
“Sounds like fun.” I waited for her to ask me what I was going to eat for dinner or if I had any plans. She was already distracted though by the mail that was on the counter, so, after a few seconds, I gave up. Who was I kidding? She still hadn’t noticed my hair. “Well, I gotta go.”
“OK. Bye, sweetie,” she said without even looking up.
I closed the door behind me and started walking down the street toward Ava’s. I was glad my mom didn’t hassle me. Where ya going? Who are you going with? Don’t be out too late! How annoying.
“Hey!”
I was pulled from my thoughts by Dani who was just stepping outside her house.
“Hey,” I said. I watched as her mom gave her a quick hug.
“Come here.” She waved me over. “My mom wants to meet you. This is Noelle,” she said as I walked up.
“Well, hello there!” Before I knew what was happening, her mother pulled me to her. “Sorry, I’m a hugger,” she said as she released me. “I feel like I know you. Dani’s told me so much about you. It’s about time she introduced us.” Was she for real? This had to be an act, I thought. No one was really like this. “Oh, you guys stand together for a quick picture.”
Dani and I stood beside each other and smiled. “Perfect,” her mom said. “Well, you girls be safe. And don’t stay out too late.”
“We won’t,” said Dani. Her mom stood on the porch until we were out of sight. I could feel her eyes on us. “I’m glad I caught you so we can walk together now.”
She was always so bubbly. It was irritating. “Yeah,” I said half-heartedly. I took a long look at her while she was distracted by a neighbor’s dog that was yapping at the fence we were passing. Mounds of golden ringlets cascaded down her back to her waist. Her eyes were large, and outlined by dark, long lashes. They were such a mesmerizing blue, she didn’t need to wear makeup. And, even though her clothes weren’t expensive, her body was curvy, so they just looked nice. She looked pretty tonight, but then again; she always did. I probably should’ve told her, but I was positive she already knew, so I didn’t. It wasn’t like she didn’t own a mirror and I was pretty sure her mom had probably told her at least a million times, just this evening, how beautiful she was. I don’t know why exactly, but I started to feel angry. “Is your mom always like that?” I asked. I cringed on the inside. I sounded like . . . Ava.
“You mean, overprotective?”
“Annoying.”
She gave me a funny look. Had I hurt her feelings? Wasn’t that what I was trying to do? Instead of feeling better, I now felt worse.
“She means well, I guess,” said Dani. It was awkwardly quiet for a moment. “Um, I really like your braid.” She was trying to change the subject . . . by being kind to me. I felt terrible. “Did you do it yourself?”
I nodded.
“Wow, it looks great. I’ll have to get you to do mine sometime.”
“OK,” I said suddenly feeling a little better.
We ended up having a pleasant conversation and did a lot of laughing.
“What’s so funny?” said Ava as we approached her front door.
Dani and I laughed again from being startled. “Where are you?” I asked.
“Up here,” she called down f
rom her window. “I could hear you guys from a mile away.” She seemed awfully bothered that Dani and I were happy. “No one else is home, so let yourselves in. Door’s unlocked.”
It was the first time I’d ever been inside Ava’s house. It was newer than mine and a whole lot nicer. I followed Dani upstairs.
“’Bout time,” said Riley from the comfort of a pink, plush beanbag. Riley’s hair was even curlier than Dani’s. It formed a halo of auburn fuzz around her face that shook when she spoke.
“We got here as fast as we could,” I said as I plopped down across from her on another beanbag. Dani walked across the room and chose a magazine from a stack that was on Ava’s desk. I watched the way Riley’s eyes followed her. Dani didn’t notice; she’d already sat on the floor next to me and was flipping through the pages.
“I thought you said you weren’t going to try out for track?” said Riley accusingly.
Dani looked up from the magazine. “I didn’t.”
“Oh, really? Then why did Coach Bay say that you’re on the team next year?”
“I have Coach Bay for PE. She thinks I’m fast. She asked me to be on the team.”
“Wow,” said Riley sarcastically.
“What?” said Dani.
“Must be nice. That’s all,” said Riley.
Dani changed the subject and we continued talking as we waited for Ava to get ready. We tried not to laugh when she made duck lips in the mirror and smothered them in a red, goopy gloss. By the time she finished, we were feeling stale.
“Finally,” Riley moaned. She blew a stray lock of curls that had fallen out of her eyes. “Well, at least you’re fresh as a daisy.”
“Oh, be quiet,” said Ava playfully. Riley seemed to be the only one who could get away with calling out Ava on her crap.
Ava was in a good mood. Only a blind person couldn’t see how pleased she was with what she saw when she took one last look in her full-length mirror. I thought she might ask herself out on a date the way she stared. She then went to her nightstand, rifled through the drawer a bit and pulled out a small glass bottle. She held it up. “Time for a toast!”
We all laughed when she pulled four tiny paper cups from the dispenser in her bathroom. She lined them up and filled them. She started to hand them out but stopped. She went quickly to her closet and pushed the wooden accordion doors open. She reached to the far left and pulled out our robes and tossed them at us. “Here, step into them so you don’t mess up your hair.” She looked at Dani. “Not that we could tell or anything.” Dani rolled her eyes. “Just kidding, sweetie. Don’t get your undies in a twist.” But I didn’t think she was kidding, and the funny thing was, Riley’s hair was wilder than Dani’s, but of course, as usual, it was Dani she chose to tease.
We slipped on our robes as Ava lit a couple of candles and switched off the light. The mood completely changed. Ava was magic like that. She handed us our cups. “Yuck. We better hurry up before these things get even soggier and tear,” she said. “Well, ladies. Here’s to a fun night!” We giggled as we gently tapped our cups together and then gulped down the purple liquid. It was as bad as, if not worse than, what we’d had at the cemetery the other night.
“Mm,” said Ava. “Now that’s good stuff.” A minute later we tromped down the stairs and out the door. Now that we were finally on our way, everyone’s mood lightened, and we were all getting along.
In less than thirty minutes, I could hear faint music from the party. My stomach tickled with excitement. Dani ran ahead so she could pet a dog standing at a fence, begging for attention. When she bent over, Ava sneered, “Those jeans make your ass look fat, by the way.” Dani ignored her and talked to the dog as he licked her hand. “And you’re going to stink if you don’t stop doing that.”
Just then, a truck loaded with guys—obviously heading to the party—passed us and braked near Dani. They all took turns yelling things like Whoa! And, I wish you’d pet me like that! Dani ignored them, and they drove off. The only one who seemed to be bothered was Ava, and she was scowling.
By the time we reached the park, the butterflies I had felt earlier had morphed into bats. My stomach ached as I looked around at all the cars and people. Everyone seemed so much older than me. It didn’t help my confidence either that Riley and Ava had talked nonstop for the last ten minutes about all the guys they’d dated. I had never been on a date or kissed a boy or anything. I suddenly felt very small. What was I thinking coming here? I couldn’t hang with them. They were so far out of my league. Autumn was right—I was pathetic.
No sooner had I thought about Autumn than I saw her standing near a keg. “Hey guys, there’s my sister. She’s a senior. Let’s go hang around her a minute.” Dani gave me a curious look.
“Hey, Autumn. This is Ava, Dani, and Riley. This is my sister, Autumn.”
“I didn’t know you had a sister,” said Dani.
“Half-sister,” said Autumn. “Hey,” she said unenthusiastically to all of them and then took a sip of beer.
Ava and Riley helped themselves to the keg, and Dani whispered, “That’s really cool you have a sister.”
I grimaced. “It can be. Sometimes. More so when we were younger.”
“Did something happen?”
Usually, I kept things to myself. I don’t know why I told Dani. Maybe, it was simply because she asked.
“My mom is the reason her parents divorced. They later had me. So, in her eyes, I’m somehow just as much to blame. It didn’t matter when we were younger, but as she got older and understood what had happened, she grew to hate me.”
“That’s not fair. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Right? And, anyway, it’s not like our dad left her and her mom for me and my mom. He left us too.”
“Sorry.”
“Who is that?” said Riley.
“Yum!” said Ava.
I turned to see who they were ogling.
Autumn beamed. “I’ll introduce you. Lance! Over here.” Ava and Riley watched in awe. “He’s my brother.”
Don’t you mean, half-brother? I thought. If I’d learned anything from Autumn, it was that blood was thicker than water and some blood was thicker than others.
After introductions were made, Lance gave me a quick upward nod. He never did much more than that, at least in front of Autumn. Lance and I had grown apart too whenever Autumn decided she didn’t like me anymore. I knew she thought she’d turned him against me, but when she wasn’t looking, he was kind to me. It wasn’t fair to me, and it wasn’t fair to Lance either. Even though Lance was good-looking, and girls adored him, his shyness made him awkward, and like me, he could’ve used all the friends he could get. I guessed she figured she’d lost her dad to me, she wasn’t about to let me take her brother too.
At that point, Ava and Riley were completely ignoring me as they tried to force a conversation with Lance. At least Dani was polite enough to keep talking with me even though I saw her eyes flick in Lance’s direction several times.
♦ ♦ ♦
Everyone was laughing and having fun until Autumn’s boyfriend, Kayne, showed up. “Hey baby,” said Autumn. Kayne leaned down and kissed her. Autumn closed her eyes, but Kayne didn’t.
“Who’re your friends?” he asked without taking his eyes off Dani.
Autumn shifted her weight from side to side. I could tell she felt nervous. I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. “These are Noelle’s little friends. Ava and Riley.” She deliberately skipped Dani. Why did you do that Autumn? I mentally scolded her. You just made it worse.
“And who is this?” He stepped toward Dani and took her hand. Her cheeks flushed. She didn’t like it. She wasn’t flattered; she was uncomfortable.
“I’m Danielle,” she said softly. She tried to pull her hand from his grip, but he pulled it to his mouth and kissed it.
“Oh, please! Lighten up, Dani,” said Ava.
I stared at Ava. She was jealous that Dani was being harassed and not her.
“Let�
��s go, Kayne,” said Autumn stiffly. “Everyone’s waiting for us. Come on, Lance!”
“Nice meeting you, Dani,” said Kayne. He laughed as Autumn pulled him away.
“Come on. Let’s go stand by the fire,” said Riley.
Perfect timing, I thought. I had just accidentally made eye contact with Nolan, and he was heading toward me. We weaved in and out of the crowd, and luckily, I lost him.
I held my hands out to the flames. This was by far the best part of the night, I thought. As we warmed ourselves, a couple of guys sat across from us and took turns playing guitar and singing, and thankfully they were both really good.
