by Ana Leigh
“So why can’t we, Rico? Why make his death a burden of guilt on the living?”
“Because I made a vow over my mother’s grave.”
“What kind of vow?”
“To find and kill the men who raped and murdered her.”
For a long moment she was too stunned to speak. “You mean…Are you saying—”
“Ben Slatter and his gang raped and murdered my mother.”
“Oh, dear God! Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? All this time I thought…I believed you to be a mercenary and—”
“I wanted you to think the worst of me. I didn’t want us to fall in love, because I knew this moment would come. I thought it would be easier for us to say good-bye if you resented my reason for leaving. But I was totally mistaken, because neither of us could have avoided falling in love.”
Jenny drew a deep breath. “If I begged you not to leave me, would you abandon your search for Slatter? If I told you you’re breaking my heart, would you forsake your vow and remain?”
“I guess I’d have to, Jenny, because I’d have no other choice. I love you too much.”
“And I know it would destroy you if you did, Dan’l,” she said tenderly. “So I won’t ask you to make that choice. Because if you did, you would no longer be the man I fell in love with.”
“Then this I swear to you, beloved: if I find him, I’ll turn him over to the army. And if there’s been no sign or knowledge of Slatter in Perdition, I’ll accept that he’s dead, abandon the search, and come back. We’ll marry and go to California.”
“But what if he is alive and finds you first? He’s smart and treacherous.”
“Have faith that’s not going to happen. My mother taught me a lesson I’ve carried all through my life: When you’re on the side of righteousness, always put your faith in the Almighty. So whenever things look the darkest, Princess, look up for His help.”
She slipped her arms around his neck. “Things look pretty dark right now, so hold me, my love. Let’s not waste another moment of this night, for dawn will come too swiftly.”
Early the next morning, after kissing Rico good-bye, uncertain whether she’d ever see him again, Jenny’s vision became a tearful blur as she stood at the window and watched the morning mist swallow him up until she no longer could hear the sound of hoofbeats.
24
Jenny had no desire to talk to anyone, to see the sympathy in their eyes, to listen to their words of support, and receive their hugs of comfort.
The fear that he might not return was the battle she must wage alone, one minute at a time, one day, one month, one year. One eternity!
As soon as the sun cut through the mist, she left the Boots and Saddles, climbed into the carriage, and drove back to the Double B.
The early morning breeze was refreshing as Jenny sat deep in thought in her garden.
How would she go on without Rico? She no longer could visualize the rest of her life without him, any more than she could conceive remaining with her father the rest of her life.
Sighing desolately, Jenny got up to greet Andrea when she drove up in a carriage. “Good morning. What brought you out here at this hour?”
“Is Rico gone?” Andrea asked.
“Did you know yesterday that he intended to leave this morning?”
“He told Don. Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I know how you must be feeling.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? It wouldn’t have been such a shock when he told me last night.”
“I almost did, but it was Rico’s to tell. I hoped in my heart that he wouldn’t go.”
“Do you know the real reason why he’s pursuing Slatter?”
Andrea nodded. “So he finally told you?”
Resentment stabbed at Jenny’s aching heart. “So you know about his mother, too. How long have you known?”
“Don told me on our honeymoon.”
This only added insult to injury. “I suppose Colonel Hardy knows, too. I suppose the whole fort knows! Apparently I was the only one who didn’t know. I didn’t think you and I kept secrets from each other, Aunt Andrea. Especially when it affects one of us.”
“Honey, I decided the issue was too private and should be resolved between you and him, without outside interference.”
Andrea grasped her hand and held it between her own. “I wish there was something I could have said or done to convince him to remain. I’ve thought about it all night. Why do you think I drove out here so early this morning? I knew how you’d be feeling. I’m sorry, dear. So very sorry.” Andrea began to sob.
Jenny’s resentment dissipated, and she put her arms around her aunt.
“I’m sorry, Aunt Andrea. I guess I’m feeling so sorry for myself that I took my frustration out on you. I don’t know how I’d have gotten along all these years without your help and guidance, and I need you more now than I ever did.”
Andrea pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped her eyes. “I’d like to tell Mr. Rico Fraser a thing or two.”
“I’m afraid it wouldn’t do much good.” Jenny tucked her arm through Andrea’s. “Let’s go inside and have a cup of coffee.”
Once seated at the kitchen table, Jenny said, “Rico weaned me away from tea. He usually made the coffee in the morning. That’s one of my best memories. Father would still be up in bed, and we’d sit here talking nonsense to each other.” She shook her head and bit her bottom lip to keep from crying. “Total nonsense.” Drawing in a deep breath, she said, “I could have kept him from leaving, you know.”
“What do you mean? I don’t believe Rico will ever rest until he has his revenge against Slatter.”
“Nor do I. But I know he would have stayed if he knew I was carrying his child.”
“His child!” Andrea could barely get the words out. “Are you sure?”
“I believe so,” Jenny said. “My monthly has never been this late before.”
“When do you expect…that is—”
Jenny smiled. “I can’t say for certain. We’ve been intimate since the night of your wedding.”
They sat in silence until Andrea asked, “Why didn’t you tell Rico? You know he would have remained to do right by you.”
“Which is the very reason I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want him to stay out of a sense of obligation. I wanted him to stay for me—because he loves me. But his happiness is more important to me than my own, so I let him leave.”
Shaking her head, Andrea said sadly, “Oh, Jenny…did you ever think that it would have given him an excuse to remain? What makes you think he’s happy now?”
Every moment took him farther and farther away from her. Bombarded with conflicting arguments, his conscience warred with the desires of his heart.
You vowed to track down the murderers of your mother. Would you forsake honor for love?
But you love Jenny and she loves you. Why deny yourself this chance for happiness?
Don Masters’s words joined the internal struggle.
Is the vow to your dead mother at the height of your grief worth the cost of losing the woman who loves you?
There’s not one thing you can do for her to change it.
Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! What should he do? Wasn’t Don right? What of the living? He was breaking Jenny’s heart. He was breaking his own.
No one in this world meant as much to him as Jenny. And she made no secret of what he meant to her. What would his life become without her? She filled his every waking and sleeping hour.
He suddenly reined up, struck with the reality of the one person—the only person—whose answer he should have sought.
Would his mother have asked or expected him to seek vengeance in her name?
And he realized what her answer would have been.
She would have wanted him to seek happiness rather than the bitterness that had driven him for the past three years.
How could he have been such a blind fool? Such a pompous ass! Where was his faith…his trust in God to render justice? Con
sumed by his desire for revenge, he had presumed to take justice into his own hands rather than leave it for the law to resolve, as his mother would have wished him to do.
In doing so, he had dishonored the memory of the gentle, faithful, and forgiving woman she had been.
And he had done the same to Jenny: besmirched the beauty of her love due to his misguided guise of honor and integrity. Could she ever forgive him?
“Bucep, I’ve been a damn fool. I’ve got a different vow I’m planning to make, now, one that will take me the rest of my life to fulfill. I only hope she’ll have me.”
He wheeled the horse around and turned back to Jenny.
Jenny kissed Andrea good-bye and watched as she rode away, then walked over to the corral. Callie came over to her and Jenny petted the mare. “I bet you miss your boyfriend already, don’t you, girl? I miss mine, too.
“Say, Callie, maybe your boyfriend left you a little Bucep behind so you won’t forget him. Just like his master did to me,” she said, unconsciously caressing her stomach. “I hope the baby’s a boy, and that he has his daddy’s dark hair and eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes—sometimes sad, sometimes devilish, and so tender at times that they seemed to touch my very soul.”
Sighing, she went back to the house, which seemed more hollow and empty than ever. It had never felt like a home to her. Sometimes prison bars were invisible to the human eye—though not the heart.
Realizing she was once again sinking into self-pity, she began to censure herself. Hadn’t she ignored the many warnings that Rico would one day ride away? Had she not declared she would have no regrets when he did?
She faced the reality that for a brief time she had known a great love—one that would linger in her heart the rest of her life. She’d been blessed with the promise of a child from that union. And now that the fairy tale had an unhappy ending, the time had come to pay the piper.
The walls suddenly seemed to close in on her, so she picked up a book and went out to the garden.
Within a short time, she began to feel the results of her sleepless night. Her eyes began to droop. As she began to drift into slumber, she suddenly sensed she was no longer alone, and opened her eyes.
Rico stood in her garden, his gaze fixed on her.
“I love you, Jenny, and I’m back to stay. Can you ever forgive me?”
For an instant Jenny felt a sense of absolute internal peace, and she thought she heard a woman’s voice repeat what Rico had told her.
Whenever things look the darkest, look up, Princesa, for His help.
Smiling through her tears, Jenny rose slowly to her feet and walked into his open arms.
Later, after the man she loved more than life itself had made tender, soul-rendering love to her, Jenny told him she was carrying his child.
How could she once have believed he would look upon their child as an obligation? On the contrary, he was in awe.
And now, with the self-made yoke of obligation off his shoulders, Rico spoke freely of how much he had yearned for marriage and fatherhood.
“We’ll marry right away, Princess, and go to California. By the time our child is born, we’ll be living in our own house.”
Jenny smiled. “Our own home.”
Her heart felt as if it would burst right out of her chest—he had come back to her. No coercion. No sense of obligation. He had come back to her because he loved her, and her heart rejoiced.
Throughout the night, they spoke of their plans for the future, their hopes for their unborn child. She wanted a son with his eyes; he wanted a daughter with her eyes, then agreed they would just have to have both.
He described California to her: Fraser Keep and the winery; how much she would love his cousins and how much they would love her.
And above all, they spoke of how much they loved each other.
Later, as Jenny lay drowsily on his chest, she remembered what had seemed like a celestial message to her in the garden. “Rico, have you ever heard the word preen-say-sah?”
“Yes, it’s Spanish for Princess. Why?”
Jenny immediately recalled the beautiful, warm-eyed picture of his mother that she’d seen in his saddlebags.
Smiling, she cuddled closer to him, and with his arm wrapped around her, they slept.
It was almost noon when they awoke the following day. They decided to have lunch in town and then inform her father of their intention to wed.
They found him and Maude at a table in the Boots and Saddles. Frank took the news as Jenny expected. He complained about her selfishness and ungratefulness in running off to get married; that she was unwilling to repay her obligation to him for feeding her and keeping a roof over her head; how much it would cost him now to hire a housekeeper.
“I even closed my eyes to the two of you fornicating in my home,” Frank raved. “If you leave, daughter, don’t expect to come back with your little bastard and find a welcome at the Double B.”
“That’s enough, Frank,” Rico said. “I’ve listened to all I intend to, and I’m taking Jenny out of here. Your future grandchild was conceived in love, and there’s no sin in God’s eyes for that. We came here out of courtesy to inform you of our plan to wed. Nothing you do or say will change that.
“As for your accusation that we violated the sanctity of your home, you don’t even have a home—it’s merely a house. No love has ever existed there, either toward your daughter or your sister.”
“That ain’t so,” Frank said. “There was love enough when Ellie was alive.”
Ignoring the pitiful contradiction, Rico continued, “As for your reference to our unborn child, because you’re Jenny’s father—and for that reason only—I’ll let it pass. But hear me well, Frank: don’t ever speak to Jenny the way you just have, or call a child of ours a bastard again. Because I’ll wipe the floor up with you.”
The restrained anger in Rico’s voice was far more threatening than all of Frank’s bluster.
His tone considerably subdued, Frank said, “Since the two of you are set on getting married, I reckon I can’t do much more than say what’s on my mind.”
“You could give us your blessing, Father. Be happy that you’ll soon have a grandchild,” Jenny said.
“I’ve said my piece, daughter.”
Rico reached for Jenny’s hand and drew her to her feet. “Let’s get out of here, Jenny.”
“Well, I haven’t said mine!” Maude burst out. “Please sit down, Jenny. And you, too, Rico.” She had risen and was standing with arms akimbo.
“For twenty years, Frank Burke, I’ve listened to you criticize your daughter for just being alive. It’s time that gal has finally found someone who will face off with you and defend her. I didn’t, and Andrea never did. But that’s not to say we didn’t love you, honey,” Maude told Jenny. “Thank God this young man did. And if you don’t wish them well, you stubborn old coot, I’ll kick your ass out of here.”
“Maudie, that ain’t no way to talk to me,” Frank protested.
“And that ain’t no way for you to talk to them,” She fired back. “So get on with it. I want to hear it from you.”
Frank hung his head. “I reckon I spoke a little out of turn. When are you planning to get hitched?”
“On Saturday,” Rico replied. “That will give Jenny time to get packed up and say her good-byes.”
“Two days ain’t much time to plan a wedding, honey,” Maude said.
“I don’t want any fancy wedding or reception, Maude. Rico and I thought we would just have a quiet dinner with Father and you, Andrea and Don.”
“If you want a fancier wedding, daughter, I’ll pay for it.”
“I really don’t, Father.” Jenny slipped her hand into Rico’s. “I just want us to get married.”
Maude winked at Rico. “And get out of here as fast as you can. And since your father’s made such a generous offer, I’ll make you the best dinner the Boots and Saddles has ever turned out.”
“We’d appreciate that, Maude,” Rico
said. “Now if you’ll excuse us, I have to wire my family and give them the news, and we need to speak to Reverend Kirkland.”
Rico kissed Maude on the cheek, and then extended his hand to Frank. “No hard feelings, Frank.”
Frank slowly shook his hand. “No hard feelings, son.”
“Whew!” Rico exclaimed once they were outside. “At least it didn’t lead to bloodshed.”
Jenny squeezed his hand and smiled up at him. “Have I told you lately how much I love you, Rico Fraser?”
“I’ll never tire of hearing it, Princess.”
25
The meeting with Reverend Kirkland went well, and their next stop was to break the news to Andrea.
She was ecstatic. Glowing with happiness, she hugged and kissed them both. “Oh, if only Don was here! He’s been out on patrol and is due back tonight. I can hardly wait to tell him. And Saturday! Such short notice.”
She took Jenny by the hand and they sat down at the table. “We’ve got a lot of planning to do, and not much time to do it in.”
“If you’ll excuse me, ladies, this is out of my realm. I have a wire to send, so I’ll be back later.”
As soon as Rico departed, Andrea said, “Before we discuss another thing, you must tell me: when did he come back?”
“Shortly after you left yesterday. He’s given up searching for Slatter, and said he loved me too much to leave me.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so happy, I could cry.”
“Don’t you dare or you’ll have me crying, too! I’ve barely stopped since he’s come back. I’m afraid I’m going to end up with puffy eyes on my wedding day.”
“Now tell me how Frank reacted when you gave him the news.”
Jenny shook her head. “You know Father. He was his usual negative self until my hero threatened him with bodily harm.”
“He didn’t!” Andrea exclaimed, laughing.
