“Then what is this? This right here? Right now?” he questioned further, signaling back to Luke with his head.
“This, I’m guessing, is the guilt. We’ve been living like this a long time pal, but we’ve never gone that far before. It’s gonna take a toll on him. Plus, it’s Luke, you know how he can get,” Jeremy finished, somewhat vaguely, but Chris did know what he meant.
They all knew how Luke could get. Perks to knowing him for years. He was an emotional guy, and a hell of an overthinker. That could mix into a lot of passionate feelings, which were never easy for him to move on from. Not until he was ready to.
Jeremy looked out for a moment, then returning to his notebook, and Chris took the cue, ending their conversation. He then gazed back at Luke, now from a more sympathetic perspective. He wanted to help– it was what Luke wanted them to do, after all, and Chris always thought himself a caring person– but he wasn’t exactly sure how, or if he was even the right man for the job. He knew Luke would reach out to him if the roles were switched, however, so he had to try. He just didn’t know how, or when.
They continued to ride for about two hours in an all too familiar silence, nobody having anything further to contribute. Even Cody and Nolan’s quiet conversation ended after their card game got inevitably stale. Everyone had one thing or another on their minds, none of which were particularly pleasant. All of which surely had some thing or another to do with the world they found themselves living in.
It was upsetting to all of them, Chris knew that much, but ironically, none of them would admit it. They were sliding back into the isolationism they lived in back at the house. The venomous lack of empathy for one another that tarnished the friendship they had just now wanted to regain was infesting itself through their cracks. Chris wished it was different, but even he had to admit to himself that– given both their current and foreseeable predicament– it was much easier said than done.
None of them really knew for certain that they were going to find their families; it would have to be an astronomical anomaly if every single one of each of their family members survived. Yet through some kind of hazy, uncertain hope, and an unbridled, and unspoken faith that they shared amongst each other, Chris knew that one way or another, they had to make it back home. He just prayed that there was some kind of a home to get back to in the first place.
Eventually, Adam stirred awake, and subsequently knocked Derrick over, waking him up as well. Which very quickly ended the somewhat admittedly peaceful silence in the wagon.
“Gah! What the shit!?” Derrick shouted, half angered and half terrified by his startling wake up.
“Muh… What?” Adam grunted, still groggy from his nap, and unbeknownst to what he had just done.
“You just shoved me over! For no reason!” Derrick whined.
“What..? No I didn’t!” Adam retorted. “I was asleep!”
“Yeah asshole, you did it when you woke up!” Derrick insisted.
“No, I woke up because you yelled into my god damn ear!” Adam shouted, now just as unjustly angry at Derrick as he was with Adam.
“Are you serious!?” Derrick shrieked, flabbergasted by Adam’s claim, turning to the others. “Is he serious!?” They all just chuckled, save for Luke.
“Pretty sure Adam is right,” Nolan prodded, shuffling the cards, a grin streaking across his face.
“What!?” Derrick shouted. Chris smirked, seeing this as an opening to drown out the silence.
“Yeah, almost positive he’s right,” Chris defended over his shoulder, backing Nolan’s claim.
“What!?” Derrick repeated, even more blown away now than just moments ago.
“We’re here live with common man, Adam Cailot! Mr. Cailot, please explain to the listeners what horrendous trouble you have just experienced!” Cody broadcasted, holding up a fake mic to Adam’s face. Adam grinned a bit.
“Well there I was, takin’ a nice nap with some buddies, having a good time, see? A good time! When outta nowhere, this banshee comes wailin’ in my ear! My ear, see? Almost busted my head open it was so loud and squeaky!” Adam regaled, sounding like a character out of The Godfather, and not even a good one at that.
“Don’t encourage him on the damn voice! Then he’ll just keep doing it!” Jeremy yelled, still aggravated from Cody’s worst running gag that just wouldn’t seem to die. Chris had to say, he agreed with the point, but at the moment, he knew this was what they needed. Some of them, anyway.
Adam and Cody chuckled, Nolan laughing along with them. Derrick just threw his hands into the air, and gasped a noise of intense disbelief to the best of his ability.
Chris, still smiling, glanced over to Luke, and noticed that he was still just looking down, refusing to smile. Nolan saw the same. He frowned a little, and then turned to Jeremy and Chris.
“Hey guys, pull over would you? I think we need a bathroom break. I do, at least,” he recommended.
“Seconded!” Adam shouted from the back.
“Thirded!” Cody yelled in agreement.
“Same,” Derrick mumbled. Shortly thereafter being scolded by Adam and Cody for not playing along. Thus starting yet another fruitless argument.
“Yeah, one sec,” Jeremy said, grabbing the reins on his horse. Chris grabbed his too.
They careened the wagon over near a forest off to the side of the vine-infested, asphalt-cracked freeway. They had to be quick, and they knew that. Nowadays they didn’t have the leisure to openly linger out in the wilderness. They never knew what they could find, or worse, what may find them.
Derrick, having finished up first, now fed the horses carrots and gave them small provisions of water to keep them hydrated. Meanwhile, Chris and the others went to the bathroom in their own isolated areas on the edge of the woods. Chris always hated peeing anywhere outside. Anywhere other than a toilet, really. He was constantly nervous a tick, or a snake, or who knew what would bite or otherwise latch onto him in sensitive areas. And then the illnesses would only roll onward.
Nolan, finishing up, walked over to Luke, who was still mid-pee session. He strongly gripped his shoulder, making Luke jump and shout unexpectedly.
“Gah! Jesus man! I’m pissing here!” Luke said, knocking Nolan’s hand off his shoulder.
“Oh, sorry…” Nolan apologized cautiously, “I just… well, you seem down. You seem… not you. And I know that you’ve been thinking about the camp… we all have. But uh… I don’t know, I just… You helped me, so I think I owe you one inspirational talk. So just uh, you know, come to me whenever you want…” he finished, having stumbled his whole way through.
Nolan was very caring, especially to people like Luke, whom he had known his whole life– it was a lot like Jeremy with Chris, and vice versa– but he was never great with serious situations, or emotions in general for that matter. He could get moody, as he had already shown, and sometimes– or rather, often– he could break when the times got rough, but he was never great at being there for others unless they told him to be.
Not by choice, he was just very oblivious to that kind of stuff. He obviously wanted to try to get better at it; they all did, trying to be better to one another. Hopefully Luke understood the point he was trying to make.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever man… I’ll… I’ll talk to you later, can I just pee right now please?” Luke stuttered, trying to ignore him, still unnerved by Nolan’s sudden and unwarranted intrusion on his focus. It would appear he did not.
“Oh, right, my bad. Go ahead,” Nolan apologized, stepping away. Luke just sighed and finished, zipping up, and shortly thereafter returning to the group, most of them now standing outside the wagon.
“Alright ladies, we really trying for the Big Apple or what?” Adam asked impatiently, arms crossed, leant up against the wagon. “Because it’s gonna eat up time, but it could be worth the trip; you know, see what we can see. What’re we gonna do?”
“I say we go, it could be fun!” Cody offered excitedly. “Good to get our minds off of sh
it.”
“Why not, might as well see what the big cities are like, right?” Jeremy said.
“Yeah, and it’s not like we’re wasting gas or anything,” Chris added.
“Alright, well, I’m for it, and that makes four out of seven. Majority rules, bitches, so whether the rest of you want to go or not means nothing to me,” Adam declared, quickly wrapping up his thoughts, and getting back into the wagon.
“Right, okay. I was gonna say yes anyways, but sure. Whatever Adam. Cool…” Derrick muttered bitterly, getting in the wagon behind him.
“Yeah… Well I’m all for it too, for the record,” Nolan said. “Taking a little ways off track might be good for us. Maybe we can even enjoy ourselves there,” he finished, saying that last thought hopefully, genuinely believing it to be a possibility. He walked into the wagon, Cody and Jeremy following behind him. Luke started to follow as well, but Chris grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him backward.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey what? Would you let go of me?” Luke asked, annoyed. Chris didn’t. Luke sighed. “Chris we’ve gotta go, can’t it wait?”
“No, it can’t,” Chris insisted. “Luke look, what happened back there–”
“Oh for God’s sake Chris!” Luke interrupted, taking Chris aback. “I know you all want to talk to me about it, console me, whatever! It’s not your problem!” he shouted.
“Okay but–” Chris delicately tried again, only to be once more interrupted, and once more making him jump a little.
“No! But nothing!” Luke yelled, waving his arms and hands around to make his point. “What don’t you guys get about this!? If I want to talk, then I will! Otherwise, just leave me the hell alone!”
Chris was seriously thrown off by this, to say the least, and at last he let go of Luke, who stormed back into the wagon. The others, having heard the outburst for themselves, sat awkwardly in their places. Not making a peep.
Luke had never really been one to get overly angry, at least not with Chris. They tended to get along, and actually enjoyed talking to one another about things; Chris did at least. He knew that on occasion, he’d get pissy with Adam, or maybe Derrick, and in the past, when he rarely would get really mad, it would be at Nolan, but they’d known each other longer than anyone else in the group, so Chris got that. But this? This was far from the norm, at least for Luke.
Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like it was Chris’s place to talk about it with him. Which meant it was up to one of the horribly emotionally inarticulate asshole’s seated in the wagon to do it; because if there was one thing that any of them knew about Luke for certain, it was that when he didn’t talk about something, it always got worse.
Chris got back into the wagon and sat down next to Jeremy. Then, they all continued to ride in silence for a long handful of hours, essentially going back to the same positions that they were in just before the bathroom break. Everyone knew that there was something wrong, but nobody knew what to do.
Nobody necessarily wanted to admit it, but as much as it was a democracy in their group, Luke more often than not at least tried to corral them. Chris believed that anyway. Luke knew how to fit everyone’s needs, as best he could.
The others were too hot headed, too quick to anger and shit-talking. They could never find the time to stop yelling and pay attention to each other, because they all had far too different ways of running things. And if it wasn’t that, they were just too indecisive. Luke tried to hold off on the shit-talking, and at least attempted to make quick decisions; not that that always worked either. One way or another though, he always got them from point A to point B.
And with their leader out of commission, who knew what kind of shit they’d get into? Or even worse, what kind of shit they’d prevent themselves from getting to at all.
Around 3 hours later, Adam woke up from yet another power nap. The others were awake as well, but each of them were lost in their own worlds.
He scanned around the compact area of the wagon for something, anything to entertain himself. If he was done sleeping, he might as well do more than just sit there doing nothing. Plus, Luke needed something to lift his spirits. It was getting on Adam’s nerves knowing that there was something on his. If he could entertain Luke in the process of doing so himself, all the better.
It took him a minute, but then he peered over at the right-corner of the wagon, and saw the guitar they still had along with them. Adam smirked.
“Psst, Nolan, come here,” he whispered. Nolan turned around and looked at him.
“What?” he asked, glancing only inches away to see Adam. “Why are you whispering?”
“Just, come over here!”
“Why, I was playing with the cards!” Nolan whined.
“God damn it just come over here!” Adam barked. Nolan groaned, and scooched over slightly, getting over to Adam.
“What?” he repeated bluntly.
“Look, we all know things are quiet because of Luke, right?”
“Yeah, and he wants to be left alone, so why not leave him there? He needs time, I know him.”
“You don’t know shit asshole,” Adam retorted, slapping him on the arm. “He’s our friend, and if he doesn’t say anything he’s just gonna get worse.”
“Okay, well what do you want to do about it then, asshole?” Nolan asked, rubbing his now stinging arm.
“Here’s my theory: Luke really likes music right?”
“Right.”
“Right, and he loves this guitar.”
“Right.”
“Right. So, why don’t we play it, and sing and shit?”
“What? We’re not any good at that.”
“Exactly. He’ll be so annoyed that he’ll have to talk. Besides, I played guitar a little bit like, six years ago, I’m sure I could pick it back up…” Adam finished.
“Okay, go for it,” Nolan said, “Why do you need me?”
“Well,” Adam laughed deviously, staring Nolan in the eyes with a twinkle in his own, “you’re gonna be on vocals.”
“What!? Why!?” Nolan asked, outraged.
“Well I can’t sing and play the guitar, can I?”
“That’s the point!” Nolan argued angrily. “The point is that you can’t, so he will!”
“Look, just do it, or I’ll beat this thing over your head,” Adam threatened, very seriously. Nolan looked down and closed his eyes, sighing heavily.
“You’re lucky this is for Luke,” Nolan said.
“Yeah, I’m blessed.” Adam scoffed, then murmuring out a plan with Nolan.
Moments later, the tension engrained within the wagon’s very structure was ripped away, as the sound of a guitar, being strummed far too loudly, with an accompanying voice very out of tune, erupted from the back. Nobody was entirely sure what it was they were trying to play, and it didn’t quite matter to any of them. Except of course, for Luke.
“Guys, what the hell is this?” he asked over the “music.”
“It’s from Full House! You know, your favorite childhood show?” Adam egged on, raising a scheming eyebrow.
Nolan regretfully continued to “sing.” The worst part of it all was that he didn’t know most of the lyrics, so he just started reciting actor’s names about a quarter of the way through. It sounded awful. Chris could hardly contain his disgust.
“Everywhere you look! John Stamos, Bob Sa-a-a-get!” He sang reluctantly.
Chris and the others were all initially repulsed, but rather quickly caught onto their plan, and soon they all cheered along.
“Now that is what I call music!” he shouted amongst the noise.
“What!?” Luke asked incredulously.
“Aw yeah! That’s my shit!” Cody added, pumping his fist into the air.
“No! No! It’s not!” Luke argued, getting annoyed quicker and quicker by the instant.
Luke didn’t pride himself on being a great singer, but Chris knew that he was exponentially better than any of them, and he knew Luke knew it, to
o. And when they sang all together, and actually tried, they didn’t sound half-bad. But this? This was just sad. Pathetic, even. But Chris could only assume that was exactly the point. He was pretty impressed, especially that this came from Adam and Nolan.
“Oh yeah?” Jeremy asked. “Then why don’t you do better?” He stared down Luke, who glared back at him. Jeremy knew if he didn’t cave, then Luke would. It was just a matter of patience, and some seriously intense staring. Which Jeremy was an expert in.
As expected, Luke backed down moments later. He sighed, and slid over to Adam. He ripped the guitar out of his hands, and put it into his own. Everyone quieted down, and Jeremy hid a smug grin. Chris couldn’t help but grin as well.
“Alright assholes, fine. I’ll do it,” Luke said begrudgingly. “For one thing, one person singing it doesn’t work, you need a few voices. Harmonies guys, do you remember nothing? Cody, Jeremy, Chris, you harmonize with me.” They all just grinned and smiled, happy the plan had seemingly worked perfectly. Luke didn’t notice. “And someone’s going to have to snap, clap; make percussion! No, two! No, three!” He demanded. “Derrick, Adam, Nolan. Get on it! And keep in time!”
Luke adjusted himself and sat up with the guitar. Having tuned the strings by ear, he held his fingers, ready to strum.
“Alright, ready… ?” He paused a moment. “One, two, three, four!”
To put it lightly, and in a state of comparison: next to Adam and Nolan’s rendition, this resembled like an angel’s choir. They sang the whole song through, and only once they were about halfway through the second rendition did it seem to Chris that Luke realized what had happened. That he had fallen right into their trap.
He seemed angry, not only due to semi-recent events, but falling for it so easily, like an idiot. In that moment however, it was okay. Luke could be angry later, and he knew that. And Chris knew he knew that. At that moment, he just let in to the fact that his friends had provided a bit of levity to their otherwise currently shitty situation, and he appeared grateful.
The Way Back (Book 1): The Way Back Page 9
