by JF Smith
Brian reached over and ran his hand along Matt’s arm, brushing the hair on it. “Matt, you know you’re the only person I’ve ever bottomed for. Between you and me, you’re a good top! You think about it, Matt. Think of all the guys that would kill to be you, to be the one that gets to plug Brian Crimp’s bootie!”
“It’s not that I don’t like being the top, I just…”
“Sometimes,” interrupted Brian, “I get the feeling that you don’t really appreciate what you’ve got, Matt.”
Matt got flustered. “That’s not it at all, Brian.” He really didn’t want Brian to feel like he didn’t appreciate him. “You know I love you. But that’s why I thought that maybe you’d like to be on top for a change.”
Brian looked sideways at Matt. “You want me to sit down on it, don’t you?”
Matt said, trying to not sound exasperated, “You sitting down on my dick doesn’t make you the top, Brian.”
Brian flipped his phone back on and started checking his text messages again. He said, “Baby, if it doesn’t matter what I’m willing to give up for you, then, sure, I’ll be the top later tonight.”
The movie screen lit up with the start of the previews. Matt sat there, mostly ignoring them. He had heard exactly this promise, delivered almost exactly this same way, enough times before. But the truth was that in their year together, despite what Brian always told other people and despite his promises to top Matt, Brian had been the bottom every single time. And it wasn’t that Matt was a screaming bottom and hated being the one doing the driving, so to speak. He actually liked it a lot. He just wanted to experience the other side of it as well, with Brian. He wanted Brian to have the chance to be inside of him. He wanted to feel Brian’s presence that way.
He’d heard this promise from Brian enough times to know that it wouldn’t happen. But Brian was right that there were plenty of people that would love to be in Matt’s shoes given a chance. Matt reached over and took Brian’s hand on the armrest between their seats, allowing their fingers to lace together, and settled in to watch the movie.
Chapter 3 – Two Dollar Balls
The Saturday a full week after going out to the movie, Matt sat with Bret and Jim in the bleachers at one of the softball fields in Byrd Park. Bret had watched while Matt and Jim had been through some of the initial training exercises with the rest of the Shockoe Sliders, the gay softball team that the two of them played on. It was now mid-March, so softball practice was starting up even though it was still cool weather in Richmond, but their coach always liked to get in a few easy practices to start off with.
With the basic drills done, the coach was now having each of the team members take turns at bat so he could get an idea as to where they stood, as he dramatically put it, “after a winter of seasonal affective disorder and martinis.”
Bret, sitting behind Matt and Jim, pouted, “I was hoping to see you guys in tight softball pants today. I want my money back.”
“Keep your eager little dick in your pants, Chiliburger,” warned Jim. “You’ll get your chance. It’s our first practice session. Thank God we don’t have to do any serious running or sliding today, or we’d be wearing them.”
Bret wasn’t to be deterred. “My time is valuable. And you guys are wasting it! So either I get tight, bouncy, athletic asses right now, or I demand a full refund!”
Matt sighed, stood up, and pulled his sweat pants down just enough in back to show a few inches of butt crack.
Bret rolled his eyes and said loudly, “Not yours!”
Matt feigned disappointment and said, “I can’t even give it away!”
“Not to Chiliburger, you can’t!” said Jim. “But if you feel like giving it away, I know a few people that would probably take you up on it.”
Matt asked, “Bret, seriously, why don’t you join up and play this year? You spend enough time out here with us on the field. You might as well do more than watch.”
Bret said, “No way! I’m not a jock and you two know it. I’m far happier…” he wafted his hands up towards his nose and inhaled very deeply, “just breathing in the testosterone-thick air instead.”
“Jimmy Bob, he’s talking about you. You must be giving off that musk again,” said Matt, grinning.
Jim lifted his right arm and gave his underarm a sniff. “Yeah, maybe.”
Bret turned to face away from Matt and Jim with a flourish. “I don’t know why I hang out with you Neanderthals. Aside from the raw, sexual ener… oh, forget it. I don’t even get that from you two.”
Despite Bret’s teasing to the contrary, Jim actually did exude a raw, sexual, jock energy. He was probably six feet tall and about 205 pounds. A fair amount of that was muscle, but at 27, he was starting to have a little bit of stomach show up on him. Jim had wavy brown hair and dark hazel eyes. Mostly, though, he was self-conscious about his legs, which were skinnier than he wanted. They just weren’t quite in proportion to the upper body strength he had.
Bret was a very slight five foot nine inches, and only weighed about 170 pounds, even when wearing heavy shoes. His proportions were just right from top to bottom, though, a testament to his gym regimen, and his spiky, dark hair set off his blue eyes very well. Bret had one of those very clean, chiseled faces that framed his eyes perfectly. He had already turned thirty, but had the complexion of a guy still in his early twenties.
Matt, for his part, was a little bit in-between. Like Jim, he was right at six feet tall, but probably only about 190 pounds. He didn’t quite have the upper body strength that Jim had, but he had good strong legs that fit his upper body well. He didn’t have the paunch that Jim had, either, although he always felt like he should be trying to lose another ten pounds. Most of the time, he was unselfconscious about his looks, but was wary of getting love handles now that he was less than a year away from turning thirty. His full head of dark chestnut hair, a shade shy of being outright black, was accented below with his perennial goatee. But his favorite feature, the one everyone noticed immediately, was his deep green eyes.
Matt clapped his hands as the coach called the next Slider up to bat. He yelled, “C’mon Lane, let’s see what you’ve got!” Jim and Matt, during the previous season, had always felt like Lane had been holding back a little for some reason, and that if he’d throw himself into it a little more, would really be a great player on the team.
Lane waved at Matt and Jim and stepped up to the plate. He fidgeted with the bat, trying to get it into a comfortable position in his hands.
Matt turned to Jim and said, “Look at the way he’s choking up on the bat. You think he jacks off like that?”
Jim grinned, but so did Lane as he turned back to face towards them. He said, “I heard that!”
Matt tossed back through a smile, “Well? Do you?”
Lane put his hands on his hips, the bat hanging loosely at his side. “I just do it the way your mom showed me, Matt!”
Several team members started laughing out loud at this point.
Bret stood up and yelled at Lane, “Sir, you offend him! There’s no way you could afford his mother!” which set off a fresh round of laughter from everyone within earshot.
The coach yelled, “Ok, ladies, if we can please get back to practice here!!”
Matt reached back and tried to poke his finger at Bret, who quickly started slapping his hands away. Jim leaned over to Matt and said, “I always thought your mom was pretty cheap, myself.”
On the first pitch, Lane managed to hit a really good line drive out just inside the foul line along third base, and turned to give a formal bow to Matt, Bret and Jim and the others sitting near them. They all clapped for him as it was one of the better hits so far during practice.
Jim yelled out to Lane, “It’s good to see you haven’t forgotten how to handle those balls, Lane!”
All the Shockoe Sliders up in the stands started screaming and Jim groaned when he realized what he had said. He yelled and beat his hand on his knees, “Shit! Dammit! Fuck! I’m such an
idiot!”
Matt laughed and started pushing him down off the bleachers towards the field and yelled, “Pay up, motherfucker!”
The coach held out a jar labeled “Balls Jar” towards Jim. Jim fished a couple of dollar bills out of his wallet and put them in the jar, the very first of the season. He turned to go back to his seat and did a victory jump for the benefit of everyone watching him.
The coach turned back to the rest of the team in the stands, “And we’re off to a good start! At this rate, by the end of the season, we’ll be able to afford something extra special for our end-of-season party! Maybe we’ll be able to hire a stripper this year!”
From somewhere in the stands came a faint “Maybe we can hire Matt’s mom!”
The coach referred to the roster he carried on his clipboard for a moment, then called out, “Goodass, you’re up!”
Matt groaned and said, “Very funny, Blake. It’s Goodend! It never gets old, does it?”
The coach shook his head gleefully and said, “Nope, it never gets old!”
Matt took his turn at bat, fouling once before hitting a pop fly.
On his way back to his seat in the bleachers, he could see Bret and Jim in an animated conversation that ended abruptly as he got near.
Bret asked Matt, “So I guess we won’t see much of Mr. Wonderful at these games, just like last year?”
“Probably not. He’s never given a hoot about any kind of sports.”
“Well,” retorted Bret, his tone very staccato, “you know how I feel about that!”
Bret then asked, “So, does Brian ever hang out with Greg at all? I mean, they really broke it completely off, right?”
Matt wondered where this conversation was about to go. “No, he had broken up with Greg before I even met him. He hasn’t seen Greg since we started going out.”
“Polly said he saw them out having drinks a few weeks ago.”
“Where?” asked Matt.
“I think he said it was at Kremlin, that new vodka bar.”
Matt thought to himself that this sounded just like Polly, whose name was actually Paul, which had turned into Pauly, which had then turned into Polly. Polly loved to stir shit up if at all possible. Matt wasn’t sure if he trusted information from that source or not. Besides, even Bret had on occasion tried to turn him into a jealous and suspicious boyfriend.
“Brian didn’t mention meeting up with Greg to me,” said Matt. “But I didn’t necessarily mean that he literally had not seen Greg. Maybe they have kept in touch some. Besides, you know how Polly is.”
Jim seemed a little uncomfortable and stayed quiet, but Bret pushed a little harder, “Polly said he saw them leave together.”
Matt exhaled and started to feel a little defensive, “See! Stir it up! Chili, you’re turning into Polly.”
Bret and Jim exchanged a quick glance.
“We just don’t want you to get hurt,” said Bret, his tone noticeably softer.
“I know you guys are just looking out for me,” said Matt, adding more jovially, “just like a couple of mother hens.”
He looked down at his hands. “But, I think you guys are totally overreacting. I’m lucky to have Brian. He’s the hottest guy in Richmond!”
Jim said, “Well, yeah, he’s good-looking, but looks only go so far, Matt.”
Matt turned his attention to Jim. “Brian is really good to me, guys, and you know it.”
“Remind me again when was the last time he took you out to dinner?” asked Bret, his question dripping with faux innocence.
“Taking someone to dinner,” explained Matt, “is not the same thing as being good to them, Bret.”
Bret pursed his lips and thought for a moment. “I give up. Matt, you are too sweet for your own good, darling.”
“You guys sometimes don’t seem to acknowledge how lucky I am to have Brian. I could easily do a lot worse.”
Jim looked like he was about to say something, but before he could, Matt heard Tommy calling to him while he and Sal were walking over their way.
“Matt! Hey, Matt!” called Tommy.
Tommy and Sal made it over to where they were sitting.
“What’s this Blake says about you being gone for two weeks, Matt?” demanded Tommy.
“Yeah,” replied Matt, “I’m going to miss a couple of practices starting next week.”
Sal hit Matt in the chest playfully. “No one cares about that, dummy!! Syria, though? You’re going to Syria for two weeks?”
Matt blushed and nodded that Tommy and Sal were correct as they sat down on the bleachers in front of him and Jim.
He explained, “So, I’ve been volunteering with Doctors Without Borders for a little while, mostly administrative stuff here in the US, but this time they have some actual field work I can help with.”
“But you’re not actually a doctor, right? Or, we didn’t think you were…” said Sal.
“No, I’m not a doctor. But what I do for the state of Virginia, the health policy stuff for childhood immunizations, efficacy tracking programs, metrics, and the like, matches up with an initiative in part of Syria right now. So, I’m going over there to help them set it up based on what we’ve already learned here in the States.”
“Get the fuck out of here!” said Tommy.
Bret cut in, “He’s going to get him some of that forbidden Arabic peter while he’s over there!”
Matt rolled his eyes. “Christ, Bret, can’t you not think with your crotch for thirty minutes?”
“I made it ten minutes once!” lamented Bret. “It was horrible!”
Matt quipped to Tommy and Sal, “Just ignore him, please.”
Those two glanced at Bret, grinning. They replied in unison, “We do.”
Bret put his hands on his hips and his face lit up. He gasped and said, “Have I just been issued a challenge?! I LOVE a challenge!” Fire danced in his eyes at the thought.
“Doesn’t this kind of scare you? With all the shit going on over there? Isn’t Syria, like over near Iraq, or something?” asked Sal, turning his attention back to Matt.
“The Department of State just lifted the travel advisory for Syria,” said Matt, “which means they feel it’s pretty safe there now. And yes, Syria borders up against Iraq. But I’ll be in Latakia, which is on the west coast, as far away from Iraq as possible.”
“And you’re really not scared?” asked Tommy.
“Well, I’m a little bit apprehensive, but way more excited about it than I am nervous. Doctors Without Borders has me set up with some good people there, and I’ll be spending most of my time at Tishreen University, which is a pretty large school. I’ll be working with some of the faculty and government people from their health department. I’m not that worried about it.”
Coach Blake waved at everyone to get their attention. “Ok, guys, thanks for coming out to the first practice. I think that 2010 is going to be our year and we’re going to have a great season! See you at the next practice and please be on time!”
Tommy and Sal both congratulated Matt on going somewhere so very exotic like that, and for a good cause to boot.
Chapter 4 – Text Message
Matt glanced down at his phone to read the text message that had just arrived from Bret.
Thx for the oj, fruit and soup. No note, but I kno it was u. Have a good trip and send emails/pix!
Matt smiled at the note. Bret had been sick the last two days, and Matt had taken a few things over to his place earlier in the afternoon so he wouldn’t have to go out to get it himself. He had let himself into Bret’s apartment with the key he had and dropped the items off without waking Bret up.
Brian flashed that evil smile of his at Matt and winked at him across the table while he picked at his salad.
“You’d better not come back and tell me you’ve been swept off your feet by some Syrian prince while you’re over there!” Brian warned Matt, his eyes sparkling. “Man, that’d be just my luck! There’ll be some big, strong, swarthy prince with house
s and yachts all over the world just looking for some American cutie to make his kept boy. Shit, how am I going to compete with that, huh? Just promise you’ll write every once in a while and let me know how things are in your new life as a harem boy, ok?”
Matt laughed out loud. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what’s going to happen! We might as well just split up now. As of tomorrow, I’m sure as soon as I land in Syria, there will be a line of them waiting for me to pick from, right there in the airport! I promise I’ll have my standards, though. They’d better have a big dick and a Bentley convertible waiting for me.”
Then he added, “Not necessarily in that order,” which actually got a laugh from Brian.
Brian picked at his salad some more while Matt finished the last few bites of his. His mood turned more serious and Brian said, “Man, I don’t even like joking around about this. I know I get jealous too easily, but it’s just because I care so much about you.”
Matt said, reassuringly, like the suggestion was completely preposterous, “Brian, you’ve got even less to worry about with me over there than you do with me here.”
“So, are you saying I’ve got something to worry about with you here?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You know I love you.”
Brian asked, “And you know you’re lucky to have me, right?”
“The luckiest guy in Richmond!” confirmed Matt.
The waiter arrived and swapped out the salads for the entrees they had ordered for dinner. Brian turned away from Matt a little to glance up at the waiter, but Matt still just managed to catch a wink of the eye pass from Brian to their server, followed by a subtle smile creep across the waiter’s face.
Matt gave Brian the evil eye, but accompanied it with a smile. “I saw that! Am I maybe going to need to be worried about you while I’m gone?”
Brian froze for a moment, but then said, “Oh, I wasn’t even sure what you were talking about!” He started in on the steak the waiter had placed before him. “I’m just trying to make sure we get good service here. He’s been a little attitudey since we sat down, so I’m just trying to loosen him up some, baby!”
