When Kristos had stopped denying to himself that he was secretly in love with Yara, it had devastated him. He was only thirteen years old then, and he went to his father to share the sorrowful news. As the next in line to be Chief, Kristos was generally required to choose a mate from a high-born Photak line. Kristos’ mother had come from such a line, but she had passed away from illness when Kristos was just a few years old. His father had been lucky as they had been very much in love. Her passing had broken Lamad for a long time.
Kristos knew what the Elders expected of his mating, but he lamented to his father that he did not want to be with a girl he did not love. Even more, he wanted to be with Yara and no one else. His father sat him down and explained the grave responsibility of a Chief and the need to bear strong children to continue the Chiefdom. His father always liked Yara’s spirit, but he felt Kristos would risk a lot to take Yara as his mate. Kristos didn’t know back then how much his father had already risked.
“Is there really no possible way?” Kristos asked.
His father never responded with a definite answer, but he had hinted one thing.
“If Yara becomes a Photak warrior, who knows what could be possible…” he had said.
Kristos had held on to that sliver of hope ever since.
As he quietly entered the Soar, he observed Yara’s impassioned attacks with sadness. It was unusual for him, or anyone, to be able to sneak up on her. His heartstar panged again. He knew she was not okay.
“Yara…”
Yara paused upon hearing him, breathing heavily, but never turning to face him. Her arms dropped to her side. Kristos could see hints of blood on her hands. She had been at this for hours.
“What are you doing here?” she eventually asked softly.
Her voice sounded cold. Cold and hopeless.
“Oh, Yara…”
Kristos walked up to her and stood behind her. He gently rested his hand on her shoulder. Her shoulders were heaving. She was holding back tears.
“WHAT are you doing here, Kristos? Your father said you weren’t to be seen until the Calling. So, why? Why are you here?”
Kristos didn’t answer. He couldn’t. He felt like there was nothing he could possibly say to ease her suffering. He kept his hand on her shoulder and eventually willed himself to place the other.
Yara spun in anger, swinging to attack him. As her watery eyes saw his face, she crumpled instead into his arms. A broken sob released from deep within her. Her body shook in pain.
Kristos held her tightly and felt a flood of emotion overcome him. He couldn’t understand how anyone would think that Yara could ever be an evil Skotad. Skotads were senseless murderers. They attacked without provocation because of their jealousy of the Photaks’ ability to dwell in Sunstar’s rays. Yara was there in the rays with him, her perfect skin gleaming… a beautiful warrior, broken by the judgments of the Elders. Rage filled Kristos.
“They’re wrong, Yara. They’re wrong, and we’ll prove it! We will show them you belong here—”
Yara shoved him back violently, her face contorted with anger.
“Prove it? Show them I belong?” she spat. “What do you think I have been trying to do my ENTIRE LIFE?!”
“Yara, I didn’t mean—”
“No. NO. I have done everything, EVERYTHING, to show them that I am loyal to the Tribe! It was not enough. It will NEVER be enough! So, don’t come here now pretending like you even think I still have a chance to be a Photak warrior…”
Yara looked away in clear pain from saying aloud the words that represented the one thing she had wanted all of her life. The one thing she was certain she had now lost…
Kristos felt helpless. He already knew there was no hope for her to become a warrior at the Calling… but to give up on that possibility meant he was giving up on so much more. He sighed in exasperation. The only way to save his father was to prove that Lamad had not made a mistake with Yara. It was also the only way he could…
“We can’t give up, Yara. You can’t give up. Not now. Not when we’re this close.”
“Why do you even care, Kristos?” Yara shot back bitterly. “You are going to have everything you ever wanted. Becoming a Photak warrior. Becoming the Chief!”
“Not everything…” Kristos replied softly.
Yara laughed sarcastically.
“Oh, there is more? That’s not enough for you? What more could you possibly want in this world?!”
Kristos brows furrowed. He turned to face Yara. His jaw was rigid and his face taut with determination. He stared deeply into her eyes.
“You, Yara… I want… you…”
***
Yara felt the world begin to spin around her. She was sure she couldn’t have possibly heard those words come from Kristos’ lips. Her mind was already unhinged with all that her parents had told her. Could Kristos have just declared that he wanted her as his mate? Still? Despite everything? It was impossible. Yet, he stood in front of her, searching her eyes and face for some kind of response.
Yara stared down at the ground. Her body trembled slightly. Kristos gently extended his arm, putting his finger beneath her chin and raising her face.
She locked eyes with him, and for the first time, she saw how much he cared. His walls were down, and from behind them came a tidal wave of love. She immediately felt even angrier with herself for the way she had fought the inner fight. She knew there was no way he could take her as a mate after what had happened. Not if he wanted to be the Chief. There was no way she would let him give that up for her. Bitterness overwhelmed her.
“Well… it doesn’t matter now, does it?”
Her response seemed to anger Kristos.
“Yara, did you even hear what I said? I said I want you. I want you, Yara. I love…”
Yara’s look of horror seemed to stop Kristos short, but he shook his head and looked her dead in her eyes.
“I love you, YaraStar. I have for a very long time. So, don’t tell me it doesn’t matter now… because now, it’s all that matters.”
“Yeah, okay, you love me, I love you, and suddenly all is well with the world?! Sure, you love me… but do you love me enough to defy the Elders? Love me enough to give up the Chiefdom?! You don’t, so this doesn’t change anything. It just makes it worse!”
Kristos’ eyes blazed with fiery care at Yara’s declaration of returned love. He didn’t seem to hear anything else she had to say. He walked over to her and grabbed her with passionate strength. He cupped her face in his hand, breathing heavily as emotions stormed over his face. Then, he sunk his lips deeply into hers.
Yara’s heartstar pounded in her chest. She felt all her pores rise and her resolve immediately weaken. For a moment, she let herself feel it… feel all that she had ever wanted. For an indescribable moment, Kristos was finally hers. It felt like she had been thrown high into the air…
But then came the fall.
“YaraStar… do you know who you are?”
Yara’s eyes flew open, and she stumbled back. It was here again, audibly speaking to her.
“YaraStar… do you know who you are?”
Yara squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed with frustration. She slammed her hands over her ears trying to block out the voice, but it didn’t stop. Then, she realized. The voice wasn’t speaking to her, it was speaking from her. It was on the inside of her mind. It was all so much, it was all too much.
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” she shouted desperately at it. Yara left, running out of the Soar.
In that moment, she didn’t even remember that she was leaving behind a bewildered and pained Kristos.
***
Yara ran faster and harder than she ever had before. Tears streamed down her face and flew off into the wind. Her body moved with heated strides, and her feet barely touched the ground before lifting off again. She could no longer hear the voice, but she still kept running. She ran without stopping, without thinking… at least until she reached the edge of the Greens. It was there
she slammed to a stop, panting as she hunched over with her hands on her knees. As her breathing evened, she stood up straight and looked around her.
With a rush, the memory of what had just happened overwhelmed her. Her hand flew over her mouth as a little cry escaped. She had left Kristos there, just as he had declared her love for her. What else could she have done, she wondered… and what was she to do? She couldn’t tell him about the voice. She couldn’t let him give up the Chiefdom. She wanted this so badly. It was an impossible situation.
Suddenly, Yara felt her senses heighten. There was always a prickly sense of danger closer to the Greens’ edges. She squinted and stared into the Shadows. Subconsciously, she reached toward her pocket. She could feel the Guiding Thread there, and she felt her heartstar skip a beat.
This is stupid, Yara, she thought to herself, you’re already in enough trouble as is.
Yet somewhere within her, she wondered. What if she could still become a warrior… what if she could still have… him?
It was a bad idea and she knew it. Capturing a Skotad to prove her loyalty would be no easy feat. She had very little time before the day of the Calling and no experience in the Greens. She had also never even seen a Skotad before. Still, she somehow figured, today she could practice with the Blurry, tomorrow she could capture a Skotad, and the next day she could finally prove herself to the Tribe. It may have been unrealistic, but it was all that she had.
With brazen determination, Yara tied one end of her Guiding Thread to a tree at the edge of the Greens. She tugged at it to make sure it was secure. Then, with a deep breath, she turned and took her first step into the Greens. The air immediately felt thicker and a little sticky. Yara squeezed her hand around the Thread and took a few more steps. She loved the soft glow it gave off and felt admiration for Pekone’s skills in making it. As she ventured further away from the edge, Yara gasped.
All she felt was awe. The Greens were alive with flora that she had never seen before. Their colors were bright and rich, and everything seemed to thrive in joy. In the distance ahead, she saw a tree that looked old and magical. She recognized it from her training to be one of the many Saptrees of the Greens. Its branches called to her, dancing in waves, almost as though they were happy for the company in the lonely woods.
She exclaimed in glee and ran swiftly to it. Upon reaching it, she embraced its soft, marked trunk with pleasure. She could see the paths of sapjuice through its semi-transparent upper layer. She peeled back a bit of its skin and put her lips over the tear. She drank the sapjuice from it gratefully as all her running had brought on great thirst. After she had had her fill, she sat upon its soft roots and sighed. She felt a little guilty about her tinges of happiness from being able to see the beauty of the Greens. It was something she and Kristos had often talked about doing together.
After a little while, Yara felt refreshed and rested. She surveyed the surroundings. Her eyes landed on a mushroom patch a bit further in. She grinned. Those particular mushrooms were very valuable in her village. Her parents would be thankful, and she could now pay them back for the costly sensopa they had gotten for her celebration.
She got up, subconsciously tugging her Guiding Thread, ensuring it was still firmly connected. Taking one last gulp of sapjuice from the Saptree’s trunk, Yara turned to make her way towards the patch. After three steps, she froze. Her eyes were fixed. She felt her body begin to quiver. Every pore on her skin rose, and horror crept up her spine. So… much… horror. Her eyes widened as panic gripped her body.
No…
“NO!”
Chapter Seven
Yara ran as fast as her strong legs could take her, even quicker than she had before. Her arms flashed quickly in front of her as she sped along the path of the Guiding Thread. She flew past the edge of the Greens into the clearing, stopping for a moment and looking wildly around her. Then, she didn’t stop running… not until she reached the Soar. She needed privacy from the village, from everyone. She needed to process what had just happened. As she entered, she fell on her hands and knees, breathing heavily.
Everything blurred around her, but it was the kind of blur that she hated. She raised her head, causing the welled-up tears that clouded her vision to drop from her eyes. It brought much needed clarity. There, still there, was Kristos. He paused, seeming shocked and concerned, then shot up. He began to make his way towards her from the boulder upon which he had been sitting.
Her thoughts raced. She knew she probably needed to talk to him, but she didn’t yet have the words to explain it. Unable to face him, she pushed herself up, stumbling away from him as he drew near.
“I’m sorry,” she said, tears welling up in her eyes again. “I can’t…”
This time, she went all the way to her dwelling. She flew into her room and flung herself into her swaddling. She was grateful that no one was there as she could no longer hold back her weeping. Her swaddling barely muffled the sounds of her sobs. They ripped through her as the terror continued to torture her mind.
She heard a husky voice call out softly from the outside of her dwelling. Kristos had followed her. She could not see the way his fists clenched or his legs paced, but she could hear the pained care in his words.
“What’s wrong, Yara? What happened?!”
He begged her to talk to him, but all she could do was cry. Eventually, she got herself to form a few coherent words.
“Leave me be, Kristos. I can’t. I just can’t right now. Please… just leave me be…”
She heard the rustling of the grass as he slowly walked away, kicking his feet in defiant disagreement with every step.
***
By the time Yara’s Tribe parents came back to the dwelling, she was numb to it all. She lay on the swaddling staring at the sacred markings above her. They were the same markings in every dwelling, from every Saptree, in symbols no one ever seemed to fully understand. Some said they told of the time before the Great War, when there was day and night, light and darkness. Some said they showed that both the Photaks and the Skotads came from the same ancestors. Others said it proved Sunstar’s blessings upon the Photaks.
Lana was the first to realize Yara was in the dwelling. She was bringing fresh swaddling to Yara’s room and was startled by her presence.
“Well, in all my years I am certain that this is the first time I’ve seen you here at this time, YaraStar,” she teased as she walked in.
“I decided to make it an early day…”
On seeing Yara’s forced smile, Lana put down the swaddling quietly. Then, she lay down next to her. They were quiet for a little while, and then Yara turned to her.
“Mother… do you think I’m really a Photak?”
Lana seemed taken aback by the question but seemed to assume that the inner fight was on Yara’s mind. She turned to face Yara, gently stroking a few blue strands that had slid across Yara’s brilliant eyes. She sighed sadly.
“The truth is… I don’t know, my sweet girl… but here is what I do know: you… are NOT a Skotad…”
Lana looked steadily into her eyes with loving reassurance, but the flash of doubt that crossed Lana’s face for a fleeting moment did not escape Yara’s probing.
“How do you KNOW that, Mother…? How can anyone know…?”
Lana looked away slightly as the distressing memory of her Skotad encounter entered her mind.
“When I was attacked, you were only six years old. I was out gathering mushrooms in the Greens from a beautiful patch I had found the day before. Our warriors were nearby, as they always were, watching over the perimeter in which we were gathering.”
Lana paused and frowned slightly.
“I never saw him. I was bent over picking from one of the patches when something hit me extremely hard on my head. I don’t know how long I was unconscious, but when I awoke, I could barely move. One of our warriors lay nearby. He had a Skotad arrow in his chest. He was probably killed trying to save me. I had been left for dead.”
; Yara could barely breathe as her Tribe mother spoke. She had never told her the real story of what had happened. Yara reached her arm over Lana as she continued.
“I kept going in and out of consciousness, too weak to move. I tried crawling so many times, but the pain would knock me right out again. The hours turned to days. Soon, I was certain that it had been almost three days as my eyes were starting to clear from the Blurry. The Light Blindness was beginning. I was terrified… terrified to never dwell in Sunstar’s light, to never see you and Sorin again…”
Lana’s voice broke a little as she considered how close she had come to losing everything she had ever loved.
“Then I heard them in the distance… our warriors. They were calling out my name, but they were so very far. I tried to respond, but my throat was dry, and I couldn’t speak. Suddenly, for the second time in my life… a Sapstream appeared… just like the one by which I had found you. It came flowing by, and as it passed me, it branched out… It brought its waters right to my lips, and I drank until I could finally speak. Then, it went in the direction of the warriors, carrying along my blue scarf on its currents. It found them. They followed the Sapstream back… back to find me.”
Yara’s eyes were wide with wonder. The sacred Sapstreams had helped the warriors find her mother… just like they had helped Lana find her.
“You see, Yara, I KNOW you are Sunstar’s gift to me… and I KNOW you are not a Skotad. You could NEVER be so senselessly evil and attack someone who is defenseless. You are not a Skotad, not only because you can walk in Sunstar’s light… but also because you have such a good heart, my YaraStar.”
Lana wrapped her arms around Yara, hugging her tightly, and for the first time in the past day, Yara felt calmer. She did not want to tell her mother what had happened. She felt like her parents had enough to worry about from her inner fight. Still, she knew there was one person to whom she owed an explanation. Right now, though, all that mattered was being with her Tribe mother.
The Unmarked Girl (The YaraStar Trilogy Book 1) Page 5
