by Imari Jade
“Yeah, well... I want to try it, anyway. And I know there are moms out there who have potty trained their babies at thirteen months.” A lump pushed at her hand, to the left of her navel. It was most likely a foot. She prodded it back, and the foot abruptly struck her lower rib. “Ow. Besides, it’s a lot easier than it used to be, with Kushies that have Velcro tabs instead of pins.”
Tabitha knew she’d never be able to convince her mom.
“When will Dad be back from his business trip?”
“Oh, in about a week.” The tone of her mother’s voice changed from wistful to bemused. “He’s been trying to get me to fly out and join him in Vancouver, but I’d rather be closer to you. Maybe I should take the train down, what do you think about that?”
“Mom, you’d have to sleep on our couch. It’s just not practical.” Not to mention the single bathroom they’d have to share! “I’ll be fine. I can take care of a baby.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Really, it’s going to be great!”
“Okay.”
“I mean, Alex is going to take a few days off, and the midwives will be doing two home visits, so I won’t be completely alone. I can take care of the baby.”
“What about the rabbit?”
Tabitha glanced down at the black-and-white German bunny sniffing around her feet. “I can take care of Beatrice too. She can run around while I’m feeding the baby. She won’t be a problem. We finally got her litter-trained, so cleaning the cage is easier, too.”
“Well, if you need me to take her, let me know.”
“It’s fine, Mom.” Tabitha cringed. She didn’t want to sound like a whiny teenager. “Listen, I have to go to the bathroom. I just got kicked in the bladder again. I’ll call you first thing tomorrow, and as soon as my labour starts, all right?”
“I love you, Tabby-cat.”
“Love you, too.”
Tabitha rubbed her belly as she set the phone back in its cradle. “Your grandmamma is going to love you so much, little one,” she reflected aloud. “We just have to be patient a little while longer. It would be nice for her to be here, but we just don’t have the space! I’ve read all the books. I know how to take care of you. How hard can it be? You’re just one little baby.”
Her bump shifted abruptly, as though in response.
“Yes, yes, I get it. My poor bladder is crowding you. Well, let’s take care of that.” Quickly folding the last three blankets and setting them on the shelf, Tabitha grabbed her battered copy of What To Expect When You’re Expecting, and headed to the bathroom. She emerged, a short time later, feeling slightly disgruntled.
Where were all the signs of imminent labour? Her muscles had been scrunching and relaxing inconsistently for a week, a strange but not unpleasant sensation, but there had been no pain to suggest that it was time. Sherry, her primary caregiver, had said that she was experiencing pre-labour, and that it was a good thing. But nothing else had happened.
No bloody show. She wasn’t quite sure what that would be like, in spite of the book’s description.
No sudden gushes of fluid, or flare-ups of back pain, not that she really wanted to experience these things. Tabitha just wanted to have her baby, as quickly as possible. If it was at all possible, it would be ideal to avoid involving needles. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but unless medical intervention was absolutely necessary, no needles would come anywhere near her skin.
Admittedly, her prejudice against modern medicine had been strengthened by all the battle stories she’d heard from her prenatal classes, and read in her books, especially the accounts about the potential side effects of drugs on a baby’s brain—or on the mother, so she couldn’t even remember giving birth.. Plus, the fact that even watching someone getting a needle made her nauseous. Therefore getting an epidermal was completely out of the question. Absolutely nobody was getting near her spine with a sharp object unless she was knocked out, first.
Punctured spinal column. Tabitha shuddered at the thought.
Alex was completely on her side. He attended as many appointments with her as he could, and understood her fears. “I won’t let anyone touch you, unless there’s a problem,” he promised her, over and over.
She was relying on that.
Her mother had reminisced often enough about Tabitha’s own introduction to the world. In 1977, women had had to shave when they went into labour, and then have an enema. Ick. Thank goodness hospitals in Ontario no longer did any of that. Tabitha did not relish the picture her mother had painted of a woman who had just given birth running to the toilet. Sherry had laid those fears to rest in one of her early appointments.
“Enemas? No, no, that’s not done anymore,” she shook her head, smiling. “And you’ll only need a catheter if you go in for a c-section. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. If there is a problem, we’ll refer you right away to the obstetrician-gynecologist.”
“How quickly could the OB-GYN get there, if the baby’s in distress?” Alex knew all the terminology, from his years as a volunteer with the St. John Ambulance. He smiled at Tabitha, squeezing her hand as tightly as she held his own.
“He’ll be either in the hospital, or on-call, depending on how you are at the beginning of your labour.” Sherry consulted a schedule hanging on the wall. Her light brown curly hair reminded Tabitha of her mother. “In fact, the doctor has a couple of scheduled inductions and a caesarean booked around your due date. I don’t think you’ll need to worry, unless the baby is breech or something else is going on.”
So many things could go wrong, but Tabitha tried not to think about that. For over eight months, ever since she had confirmed that she was pregnant, she was only ever optimistic that her first birth would be perfect. Traditional, in the modern sense. She would breathe through the pains, using her meditation and yoga training. She would visualize, to help her body relax. She would have her favourite soft-rocks or new age music playing, and a scented candle. They would be in the hospital, just in case, but Alex would be by her side through the whole experience and make sure that it was just like she wanted.
Perfect.
Twenty-four more hours, and she would be a mother. Alex would be a dad. All of this discomfort and concern would be behind them.
* * * *
Thirty-six hours later, Tabitha had to stop herself from grinding her teeth with impatience.
“Honey, what are you doing with that shovel?”
Tabitha huffed and puffed, her breath coming in little clouds of condensation. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m shoveling.”
Alex approached her with the caution of a bomb defuser approaching an unknown container. “I can see that. But sweetheart, you’re nine months pregnant. Why don’t you let me do that?”
She glared at him over her muffler, without breaking her rhythm. “I’m fine. It’s just a couple of inches of snow.”
“Then why are you out here?” He gestured helplessly.
“I’m trying to get this baby moving!” Tabitha bent at the knees, forcing the blade of the shovel under a crust of snow by the walkway to their door. The couple who lived in the main floor of the one-story house had already offered to salt the concrete paving stones, but Tabitha had graciously declined. “I figured, if I do a little bending, and lifting, maybe it would get my water to break or something.”
“O...kay...then...”
She saw his hesitation and skepticism, and sighed. “I missed out on the damned draw, all right? I’m pissed off, and pregnant, and overdue, and I want to have this baby!”
Alex held up his hands. “Hey, I respect that. I’m just trying to help.”
Tabitha swallowed her crankiness. She tried to smile. “You can help by moving, dearest.”
Obediently stepping to the left, Alex watched her attack the next section of sidewalk. “I brought you home some rotisserie chicken, with mashed potatoes.”
She didn’t stop moving. “Super. Go ahead and plate it, I’ll be down in about five or ten minute
s.”
“Do you want a cup of tea?”
“I’d really love a martini, dirty. But I guess tea will have to do.” Tabitha relented as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Dropping the shovel, she threw her arms around her husband, stretching to accommodate their winter coats. “I’m sorry, I’m just in a bitch.”
“It’s fine, I understand.” Alex rubbed the small of her back, in just the place she liked. She made an appreciative noise, and he continued, “I mean, I sort of get it. You’re tired, and frustrated. We’ll get there soon. But you really don’t need to be out here.”
“I promise, I’ll come down just as soon as I get this path cleared.” She released him and thrust her belly forward. “This baby is coming out tonight!”
* * * *
Tabitha scanned the choices under the glass at the Jumping Bean. Three days past her due date, she had called up Sam, her study partner and best friend, for lunch. The mall was busy, and a line of shoppers waited impatiently behind her, but her body was so hugely pregnant that nobody dared question her.
“Hurry up, Tab.”
Nobody, except her friend Sam, who was waiting at the register with her own tray of corn chips, salsa, and garden salad already paid for.
“Give me a number three, and a four, and a seven,” she ordered, tapping the sneeze guard. “What else do you have that’s super-spicy?”
“Geez Louise, you’re going to end up with heartburn until tomorrow,” Sam told her as they headed to a table.
“I can deal with heartburn,” Tabitha replied grimly, edging around a shopping cart left inconveniently in the aisle. “I’ve been dealing with heartburn since the second trimester. But I heard that spicy food can make labour start, so I’m loading up.”
Sam raised her eyebrows. “Really? I didn’t know that.”
Tabitha shrugged. “Hey, at this point, I’m willing to try anything.”
“Didn’t that girl in your prenatal class drink a whole jar of hot pepper juice?”
“Pickled hot pepper juice,” Tabitha amended. “But yeah, after eating all the peppers. Why?”
“Did that make her go into labour?”
Tabitha’s eyes were watering from the extra-hot Jalapeno peppers she’d asked for on her taco. She had to gulp some chocolate milk before her throat would relax enough to answer, “No, but Jaya always eats spicy foods. I hardly ever do, so there you go.”
“How do you know she always eats spicy foods?” Sam narrowed her eyes at Tabitha over her loaded tortilla.
“Are you trying to piss off the pregnant woman?” Tabitha smiled sweetly, showing all of her teeth. “Because right now, I could cheerfully eat you with enough hot sauce.”
“I’m just saying...”
“Jaya and I were in the same introductory psych class, and we had study meetings with food. Anyone with a yen for hot and spicy just had to ask her. She had East Indian recipes out the yang.”
“Have you seen her lately?”
Tabitha shook her head. “Not since she had her own baby last year. She finished the course, but it was hard on her.”
Sam picked at her salad. “It’s going to be hard on you, too.”
“I know, but I have Alex. It’ll be fine. At least this is my last year, and I’ll be working in a few months.” Tabitha straightened her shoulders as much as she could with the weight of her belly, and gamely stuffed her mouth with another bite of nuclear taco. She watched her friend shake with silent laughter as her face turned red.
“So what will you do if the spicy food doesn’t work?”
Wagging at a finger at the tall redhead across the table, Tabitha chugged the rest of her drink. “Don’t jinx me! It’s going to work!” she gasped, trying to hold back a belch and failing. “Excuse me. As much as I love carrying this child, I will be so happy to have my body back. I may not end up the same size—”
“My mom’s friend, Sandi, walked out of the hospital in the same jeans she wore to her first prenatal appointment. After giving birth to twins.” Sam gestured with her fork toward Tabitha’s beach-ball-sized stomach.
“—but at least I won’t have someone constantly kicking me in the gut. And yes, I’ve heard the Sandi story before, thanks for reminding me.” Tabitha shook her head in disgust. “I still don’t believe it.”
* * * *
The morning of the fifth day after zero hour dawned bright and beautiful.
The bottle of mineral oil sat on the bathroom counter, gleaming under the row of incandescent bulbs lining the mirror.
Tabitha sat on the edge of the bathtub, looking at it.
Her massive belly quivered as the full-grown, invisible fetus tried to turn over inside her.
It was supposed to be a natural laxative, but Tabitha didn’t know if she had the courage to take it. The Mexican food had been bad enough. And still, no baby.
“Tab? Do you need any help in there?”
Tabitha closed her eyes and clenched her fists on the porcelain. “No, I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.”
He probably thought things were starting. She wished she could tell him it was happening. Opening her eyes again, she reached across the short distance and picked up the clear plastic bottle to read the instructions once more.
“I’ve got a surprise for you out here,” Alex called through the door.
Resigned, Tabitha slowly and awkwardly got to her feet and put the mineral oil back in the cupboard.
In the living room, Alex was standing with his hands behind his back, beaming. “I got you something, and you’ll never guess what it is. You were so sound asleep last night when I got home, I didn’t want to wake you up, but I guarantee that you’ll love it.”
She had to grin, despite her weariness. “Can you give me a hint?”
Her husband whistled a few bars of a song.
Tabitha clasped her hands with delight. “You rented Babe?”
“Even better.” Alex presented her with a VHS tape, flourishing it proudly. “I bought you your very own copy. I wish I could have gotten you the DVD and a player to go with it, but they'll be cheaper in a couple of years.”
“That’s wonderful!” Tabitha gushed, moving forward in an awkward pregnant rush. “Thank you so much! Now I can learn the lullaby that the farmer sings to the pig. That sounds so stupid when I say it out loud, but it really is such a nice song.”
He embraced her gently. “How are you feeling?”
Tabitha leaned her head against his shoulder, setting the movie on the back of the couch. “Huge. Exhausted. Nervous.”
Alex nibbled her ear. “It’ll be over soon, sweetheart. You’ve got your appointment in two days, and if they have to induce you, so be it. Maybe you’ll go into labour tonight. You never know. Maybe by tomorrow night, we’ll have our baby.”
“I’m so tired of being pregnant,” Tabitha moaned, clasping her hands around his neck. She rose on her toes to kiss his lips. “I’m very happy, and I know I’ll miss this. But it needs to be over.”
He chuckled, kneading her lower back. He pressed lightly, encouraging her to put her weight against him for a moment. “Do you remember when we sent the picture of the last pregnancy test to your parents?”
Tabitha turned her face to the side, grinning. “They thought it was a weird design for a ceiling fan.” Without warning, her eyes brimmed over. “I really wanted them to be here.”
Alex was patient, as always, while she cried out her tension. He rocked her gently. “We could always try jumping up and down.”
Laughing through her tears, Tabitha nodded. Alex held her tightly and jiggled her, lifting her feet from the floor.
“Stop, stop! You’ll make me pee myself!” She shrieked with laughter as he pulled her higher. “Here, I’ll do it!”
Alex let her go.
Tabitha jumped.
“No, no. You need some music!” He moved to the stereo and put on a dance CD.
Laughing, Tabitha bounced around the room, holding her belly with both hands. “I feel r
idiculous!”
Alex was tapping his foot to the beat. “Want to stop?”
She was determined to go as long as her lungs and her legs would allow. “Never!”
“What if the baby gets seasick?” Alex arched an eyebrow at her.
“Oh, come on,” Tabitha scoffed. “This is nothing. I went to the mall the other day, took a bumpy road, and I went slowly. The suspension on the car is okay, by the way,” she reassured him. “But that was a rocking ride, and nothing. No baby.”
Alex brought her a glass of water when her energy finally gave out.
“Look at it this way,” he offered, “We’re getting some extra sleep. Bonus nights that we’ll miss later.”
“Maybe,” Tabitha gasped, wiping the beads of sweat from her forehead. “Or maybe I just got things started!”
* * * *
At present, six and a half days after her baby was supposed to be in her arms, Tabitha was taking out her frustrations on the house. Hands that should have been stroking an infant’s petal-soft cheeks and diapering a tiny bum were rinsing sponges and dusting cupboards with furious energy.
It was late for nesting, but there was nothing else to do.
The crib was still empty.
The stack of diapers on the linen shelf was gathering lint.
The rabbit hopped impatiently back and forth in her cage as Tabitha quickly swept and mopped the floor.
“I know, I know, Beatrice.” Tabitha dipped the mop in the bucket with such force that dirty water sloshed over the side. “Oh, crap. You’ll just have to be patient, bunny.”
After one more swipe to clean up the excess, the kitchen was done. With one hand supporting the underside of her belly, Tabitha reached down to pick up the bucket.
A strong, masculine hand covered hers.
“It’s all right, sweetheart. Let me do that.”
Tabitha let Alex help her straighten up. She leaned against the kitchen counter as he carried the bucket into the laundry room.
When he came back out, he was carrying a bouquet of roses.
“How did you sneak those in here?” Tabitha felt giddy. She buried her grin in the flowers when he handed them to her.
