by T. S. Joyce
“You know who I am?” she asked, her head canted and her eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Yeah, I just didn’t recognize you. You look…happy. I don’t think I ever saw you around town without you avoiding everyone like the plague.”
“She still does that,” Liam teased.
Morgan smacked him lightly on the arm. “Do not. I’m a social butterfly now. Look here,” she said in her thick swamper accent. She gestured to Bre. “You already met this one, but she says you and Fargo have history. I mean Cole.” Morgan glanced up at Cole and back to Mae, then back to Cole. “I still can’t get over you lookin’ like this.”
“Yeah, well,” Cole said, hanging his head and scratching the back of his hair. “It won’t stick for long, so you won’t be uncomfortable much.”
The flames from the firepit sent flickering gold light across her frown. “Oh, I’m not uncomfortable. I knew you were different from the time I saw you. You didn’t like me much in the beginning, did you?”
“Poacher’s daughter? With ties to the people who were going after Holt and Liam? Nah, I didn’t have much trust in you at first. Sorry about that.”
Morgan grinned. “Never apologize for being protective of them boys. I’m just glad I’m on your side now.”
“I bought you some White Claws,” Bre said, pulling Mae to a chair beside her.
There were six plastic lounge chairs around the fire, and Mae sat in a bright green one. “What’s a White Claw?”
Bre reached over into a blue Igloo cooler and shook the ice off a couple of seltzer beers. “I got the variety pack. Do you want black cherry or lime? Holt said you just inherited Tabitha Murray’s house, and he said you have a big job in the city, so I got nervous you wouldn’t like the regular beers. I never tried these, and now I’m knocked up so it’ll be a while, but Morgan said they’re good and kind of fancy. I’m rambling.”
Mae giggled. “You’re totally fine. Lime sounds great. And congrats on your baby. I couldn’t even tell you were knocked up when I saw you earlier!”
“Oh, I’m still early in.” She grabbed a sprite and sipped from the straw.
“Whose the fancy one now?” Liam teased from where he sat across the fire. “Drinking your soda from a straw.”
“My teeth are sensitive,” Bre said without missing a beat.
“Go on, Cole,” Holt said, gesturing to the chair next to Mae. “Sit down. We won’t bite.”
Cole was hanging back at the edge of the firelight’s glow. This must be all very strange for him—switching back and forth between bodies and not knowing how to be in this one anymore.
Mae leaned over, pulled his chair closer to hers, and grinned up at him, patting the seat.
Looking utterly uncomfortable, he sat down and leaned back stiffly. So Mae popped the top of one of the Bud Lights and handed it over. And then they all watched him chug the beer.
Liam snorted, and then Holt laughed. The girls followed, and the second Cole broke a smile, Mae laughed, too.
“This is terrible,” he muttered.
“The company or the beer?” Bre asked.
“The beer is great. I’m used to lying over there.” He pointed his finger to a spot by the porch. “Where no one looks at me. And now everyone’s staring.”
The waves were lapping at the back legs of Holt’s plastic lawn chair, which was making Mae a little nervous. “I was raised here, so I know the dangers of the gators in this swamp, and it feels like we’re sitting a little too close to the water’s edge. You can’t see them in these murky waters until it’s too late!”
Holt waved his hand and said, “Nah, there’s no gators in this part of the—AAAAAHHHH!” He lurched backward and flailed his arms. Mae screamed so loud it echoed even after Holt stopped waving his arms.
There was nothing behind him. Holt had just been dramatic. He and Liam cracked up.
“That’s not funny!” Bre reprimanded him.
Mae was clutching her chest, trying to encourage her heart not to eject itself from her torso. Morgan was shaking her head and putting a marshmallow on a wire hanger, and when Mae looked at Liam, he was trying to hide a smile.
“Oh, you think that’s funny? I try to save Holt’s life, warn him about a wild alligator attack, and—”
“There ain’t no wild gators in this part of the swamp,” Cole said, pulling her chair right up next to his. “Liam chased them all off. They know better than to come into his territory.”
Holt had his arms wrapped around his stomach, still laughing. “You shoulda seen your face.”
“I’ll never try to save your life again,” she said primly and then slurped her seltzer beer with her pinky up.
“Speaking of saving lives,” Cole said. “I overheard Seamus talking tonight, and he’s figured out your Changing spot, Liam. It might be best if you find another place to go gator until we get the Cal and Seamus situation worked out.”
“Oh, we know,” Morgan said, leaning forward and holding her marshmallow over the fire. “Who do you think led my idiot father to him?” She grinned brightly.
Liam’s smile at his mate was downright proud in the firelight. “Who says you’re the only one hunting him?” Liam said with a toothy grin for Cole.
“Damn.” Cole relaxed into the chair and slid his hand over Mae’s thigh. “I didn’t see that coming. It’s like a reverse hunt. Let them come to you.”
Mae was really trying to pay attention to the conversation, but her entire body was buzzing from the place his hand rested on her leg. And inside her chest, her heart was fluttering away.
“Cole broke Cal’s fuckin’ nose tonight,” Holt muttered. He took a drink of his beer and rested an elbow on his bent knee. “I rushed into Tacky’s to see that asshole lying on the ground, holding his face, screamin’ for his momma.”
Liam died laughing, and Morgan pulled the half-burnt marshmallow off her hanger as she said, “That’s awesome. I wish y’all woulda taken a picture so I could frame it for the house.”
“Yeah, and then this one,” Holt said, pointing to Mae, “steps over his crying, whining body and congratulates him for having some character to his face now.”
Okay, now they were cackling loud enough to echo through the swamp, and even Cole was chuckling, too. “It was an accident,” he muttered.
“You accidentally leveled—fuckin’ leveled—four grown swampers?” Holt asked between laughs.
Cole shrugged and pulled another beer out.
While he popped the top, Liam asked her, “Mae, what do you think of him now?”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“He’s different. I knew Cole Jennings from way back when, but the animal changed him.”
She looked over at Cole, but the smile had faded from his lips, and his eyes were intent on her as though her answer mattered. “I liked him back then, but I like him even better the way he is now.”
“D’awwww,” Holt said, throwing a marshmallow at Cole. “So damn cute.”
The others drifted into teasing conversations, but Bre leaned closer and said softly, “You’ll like him fine until the Change back.”
Those last four words hurt her heart in ways she couldn’t explain. “Until the Change back,” she agreed. Because she was going to miss Cole very, very…very much.
“Probably no one can understand the hard parts of this like me and Morgan,” Bre said. “So if you ever need support…well, we’re here. You have it.”
She didn’t have the heart to tell Bre she wasn’t sticking around, that she and Cole had agreed to only pretend they could be happy for the night. The woman was being so kind to offer a stranger an ear if she ever needed it. Mae couldn’t ruin that with the truth of their situation—she would list the house and boats for sale and leave this place again. She would leave Cole to his new existence. She stared into the flames and tried to imagine going back to her old life. Er…her new life? Everything was blurring together. Her entire chest felt hollowed out just thinking about a future w
ithout him. She’d just gotten him back.
Cole squeezed her thigh, and she turned to him with the brightest smile she could muster.
“You’re breaking the rule,” he said. He leaned over and kissed her, just a peck on the lips before he eased back. “Tomorrow will come whether you dread it or not, Mae. Leave it alone. Tonight is a good night. I’m happy. You’re happy. Those are lucky moments. Let’s not waste them.”
So while the others chattered happily on, she climbed into the small space between Cole and the arm of his chair and snuggled against his strong, warm body. She soaked in the moment, took a mental picture of them just like this, lying on a lounge chair, his arm around her, his chin resting on the top of her head as they watched the flames and laughed at the silly things the others said. She made a note to remember just how warm this feeling of safety was so she could hold onto it for the rest of her life.
She smiled when he pressed his lips to the top of her head again and nuzzled her cheek against his chest.
He was right. They were lucky. Some people searched for this feeling and never found a night like tonight. Not once in their whole lives.
No more wasting lucky moments.
Chapter Ten
Cole had gone quiet.
He didn’t say a word as he walked her to her door, so she broke the silence. “This feels like old times.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, resting against the railing of the porch stairs as she climbed a few higher.
“This is the quiet Cole I remember. You could go a day without saying a word sometimes. Tabby always joked that it was okay because I talked enough for the both of us.”
Cole dipped his head and chuckled. “That part of me stayed. I’m still quiet. You just brought the words out of me today.”
“You know what the cool thing is about you?”
“My haircut? I paid twenty bucks for it.”
She giggled. “I do really like your haircut, but that’s not what I’m talking about. You never wasted a word on filler. You only said what you meant, and you only spoke when it was important, so it made people pay more attention when you did speak. Because they knew it must be important.” She dipped her voice lower. “It made me pay attention. I chatter all day long, so who cares what I have to say—?”
“I do,” he said fast, cutting off her words. “I always liked that you talked a lot. I never liked people’s attention, but when I was around you, you were this light in a room that people couldn’t look away from. That I…” He cleared his throat and scrubbed his hand down his face. “That I couldn’t look away from. When you left, or maybe when I died and came back as this, my memories of you got even brighter. They came into focus. Maybe that’s the dog in me now. Maybe it’s like that for animals, I don’t know. All I know is it’s taken a lot to settle into this life and accept losing you.” Cole frowned and ducked his gaze. “I shouldn’t be saying this stuff. I should go.”
She wanted to tell him to stay. She wanted to follow him down the porch stairs and hug him up tight and get lost in him for a while. But she only took a few steps forward before he was almost to his Jeep parked in the front yard. He didn’t even look back.
It had been a long time since Mae had felt this swirling disappointment in her chest. Silly girl. Confused by his sudden exit, she waved to him and made her way back inside as his Jeep engine roared to life.
She closed the door with a lonely sounding click but left the flats of her palms on the cool surface there. Her heart was racing so fast because she’d been so affected by his words. God, they’d been so good to hear.
She didn’t want him to go. Didn’t want that at all, and if she didn’t tell him now, she would never get the chance.
There was a soft knock on the door, and it startled her. Slowly, Mae opened it, and there he stood, his profile to her on the porch, rubbing the back of his head with one hand, the other resting on his hip. He inhaled deeply and said, “I wanted to tell you something before I left.” And then he strode over to her in two powerful strides. He grabbed her waist and the back of her neck and pulled her against him, his lips crashing against hers.
His kiss was familiar, yet completely unrecognizable all at once. She loved it. Loved the taste of him, the pace he set, the way his touch burned against her skin, the way he angled his face and brushed his tongue against hers. He kissed her again and again, affectionate pecs this time that left her high as a kite and wishing they would never end.
He released her so suddenly she fell forward, and he had to catch her arms to steady her. Clearing his throat, Cole straightened and mumbled, “That’s all I wanted to tell you.”
And then he made his way to his Jeep and drove away, leaving her heart pounding a hundred miles a minute. Mae lifted her fingers to her lips.
Ooooh, she was in trouble with that boy.
Chapter Eleven
Mae snuggled Squirts tighter under her raincoat as the mangy thing clucked and cooed in her arms. It felt right to have the chicken at the cemetery for Tabby’s funeral.
So far, in true Dafoe family tradition, it had been a shitshow, as Tabby had probably wanted, complete with shots of Jager (gross), and Aunt Adelaide had stopped the preacher mid-service to play the “Thong Song” on a beat-up old CD player.
Other than Uncle Jeb, no one laughed much. The majority of the funeral-goers were too busy staring, glaring, and whispering in Mae’s general direction. The house and land was worth more than she’d thought when she’d run the comps this morning. Thanks to Tabby, Mae was suddenly sort of rich.
She still didn’t care one way or the other, though, because her heart felt raw.
And she was alone again.
Cole hadn’t come to the funeral. He’d said he wouldn’t miss it, but he hadn’t ever shown up.
“You’re turn, girl,” Uncle Jeb murmured, wiping dirt off his hands and settling in to stand beside her.
Numbly, she murmured, “Oh, okay.” Mae knelt and grabbed a handful of dirt from the pile, and tossed it on the chicken casket in the ground. As she stood up straight again, she squinted against the rain. The others were lingering and talking in small groups, but she didn’t feel much like chatting, so she adjusted Squirts in her arms and turned, headed back down the cemetery hill for the Cadillac.
Her heels squished through the mud, and she almost slipped making her way down the steep slope toward the line of cars. She stepped carefully, trying to keep her balance, and not pull a slip-n-slide maneuver that would have her dress above her head and mud stains all up her ass cheeks by the time she reached the bottom of the hill.
The rain suddenly stopped pelting down on her. Startled, she looked up to find Cole, dressed in a black suit, holding a black umbrella over her.
He held a paper bag in his other hand, and he searched her face with such tenderness in his soft brown eyes. “How was it?”
A flood of relief washed through her veins as she melted against his chest. “It was a show.”
“Of course it was. I figured you’d want some space,” he murmured, resting his cheek against her forehead. I watched from the tree line.”
“You wore a suit,” she murmured, easing back.
A slow smile took his chiseled face. “And you wore a dress and a chicken.”
Mae looked down at Squirts.
“Hey, Mae Lynn,” Tony called from where he was stomping down the hill. “I collected on my inheritance.”
She frowned. “What do you mean? All you got was the ropes to the boats.”
“Exactly.” He grinned, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“Are you saying you untied the boats and took the ropes?” Cole growled from beside her.
Tony’s grin grew even bigger. He had some nerve walking right up to them. “Have fun finding them—ack!”
Cole’s hand was around his throat. Whooooaaah, how had he gotten to Tony so fast? One second he was behind her, and now he was choking the life out of her cousin. Mae took a couple steps forward, but Cole
didn’t need any help and Tony didn’t deserve any.
“I’ll track down those boats by the end of the day,” Cole snarled. “Bet it. But you just made an enemy you can’t afford to make.”
Tony’s eyes went wide, and his face turned crimson as he made choking sounds.
Cole shoved him away, and Tony fell back onto the muddy hill with a yelp.
“She ain’t alone,” Cole barked out. He addressed the funeral-goers who were jogging and sliding down the hill to see what the commotion was about. “All of you need to learn that real quick. It’s Mae, not some outsider. You’re acting like she doesn’t belong here, or like she doesn’t deserve the inheritance. It was Tabby’s choice! Mae was Tabby’s choice. Fuck with her property again, and you better learn to sleep with your eyes open. Think I’m making empty threats? Test me.”
Loaded silence followed until Squirts squawked and scrabbled for purchase in her arms. Cole had said all of this cool, threatening stuff, and all Mae had to offer was, “Well, my chicken is tired. See y’all on the flippy-flip.”
Uncle Jeb snorted and waved. “I’ll come by later!”
Cole guided her back to the Cadillac, fingertips light on her back, umbrella held over her, with rain pouring down over the sides. She squished onto the leather passenger’s seat while Cole shut her door.
Soaked to the bone, she watched him jog around the front of the Caddy, closing the umbrella and looking like some hottie in a GQ magazine. She, meanwhile, looked like a drowned rat. She knew because she caught a glimpse of her raccoon eyes and soaked hair in the window reflection. Fantastic. Adjusting Squirts on her lap, she pulled the sleeves of her sweater dress down over her hands and went to scrubbing the smeared mascara under her eyes.
The second he got in and closed the door after him, Cole set the brown paper bag he’d been holding onto her lap. “I figured you would be hungry.”
She knew what was in there before she even opened the bag. Donuts were her favorite treat, and no one in this world made better chocolate-covered, cherry-filled donuts than Manny Ortega’s little bakery in town.
