“You’re a monster.” I sobbed, the cold hard truth hitting me in the chest. I knew Jacob was nasty. Knew he was corrupt. Knew he was cruel. But I hadn’t realized how little humanity he had in him. If he could even be considered human any longer. “I always thought I was the weak… the pathetic one. That’s who you made me out to be.” I coughed, black smoke seeping into my lungs. “But I’m not. I’m not weak. I’m strong. You’re the pathetic one, Jacob. I was just like you at first. I thought everything was Jackson’s fault. I blamed him for all my problems. But that’s not right. It was my own life. They were my own problems. Sure, Jackson had a part to play, but I can’t blame him because I was too much of a coward to get out of your shadow. Too much of a coward to fight for what I truly wanted. Too much of a coward to risk what I had for something worth so much more… That’s on me.”
“And this.” I stared my eyes down the barrel of the gun. “This is you just casting yourself into the dark. You’re not stepping out from Jackson’s shadow. You’re thriving in it. And you’ll never change. You’ll be the pathetic, second-rate man you’ve always made yourself to be.”
If what I had thought on Jacob’s face before was madness, then what I was looking at now must have been pure evil. The darkness in his eyes, the burning torch of the house against his dull skin and the curved snarl on his lips… it was the devil himself.
“Say hello to your lover in the afterlife, bitch.”
BANG.
* * *
Cold, wet rain pattered against my cheek.
The burning hot pain across my chest, the taste of metal in my mouth, and the dry, crisp gasps of air snatched from the smoked filled sky, none of it belonged to a gunshot.
The droplets of moisture fell harder, clinging to the soot and ash and blood dried and burned into my skin. My hand reached for my chest, the dampness of my clean clothes coldbeneath my fingertips. I was… okay?
I heard Jacob’s bellow before my mind could comprehend what had happened. The heavy thump of the gun hitting me in the side of the hip woke my brain before the metal contraption collapsed onto the ground next to me.
My eyes tried to focus on what was going on around me, the blurred, distorted flickers of light and movement unfamiliar and unnerving. The cry of thunder roaring to life around me blocked out my hearing. I was still sprawled on the ground, feeling its heavy rumble grow closer and closer and—
Wait!
That wasn’t thunder.
My head lolled against my shoulder as I saw the familiar glint of metal, rubber, and leather as the storm of dust was thrown into the air. Bike after bike came skidding to a stop, huge men in leather storming the grounds like a SWAT team as they took to the ground.
Heavy, leather boots echoed from a distance as they grew closer to my face. A dark shadow loomed over my face, words being mumbled over my head. His face looked desperate, but whose face it was I wasn’t sure.
Until like a switch, I heard my ears pop.
“JAX!” Hunter bellowed in my face. “WHERE’S JAX?”
I felt my heart drop. The heat of the fire growing into a burning sting across my body as I became all too aware. The rain against my skin were the tears I couldn’t shed, as with the softest, weakest cry I could manage, the words crackled from my lips. “…Hou…se…”
Hunter disappeared.
I heard Wolf’s deep Russian baritone. Mint’s sharp yell. And others.
They all were screaming Hunter’s name. But he was gone.
The house screamed and roared as I heard wood collapsing, and what I assumed was the door swinging open.
“Shit!” Mint’s voice snapped above my head.
“That crazy motherfucker!” Wolf bellowed at the top of his lungs. “Get her out of here!”
“No!” I whimpered, feeling the reprieve of heat as Mint dropped down next to my head, another huge shadow covering my face. The rain against my skin still stung, but his broad shoulders shielded from its harsh shower. “Jax… I need….”
“It’s okay.” Mint’s hand touched the top of my head. “Hunter’s gonna go get him. He’ll be fine. They both will.”
He didn’t sound confident.
“Mint… plea…”
“It’ll be fi—”
Another roar burst from the house, wood creaking and protesting as roof tiles shattered against the floor. The whole thing began to tilt to one side, the pillars of the porch splintering and spluttering black, heavy ash.
I didn’t get a chance to say anything else as Mint’s arms scooped up underneath me and the rain pelted my skin again. I was sure I was crying in pain, but I wasn’t paying attention to myself. All I could hear was the screaming rumble of the house as the fifty-year-old, beautiful home began to collapse in on itself. I heard the shouts of brothers calling for their members, and even my own screams were despondent to the sound of the falling building.
Because I knew.
Neither of them were coming out.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ronnie
It’ll take time.
He’ll wake up soon.
“Bullshit…,” I whispered, my hand running through his dark curls. It was getting long now. Long enough to wrap around my fingers and maybe even tie back. The bandages had devolved into little stick-on patches covering the burns he suffered on his face. A few of his dark tattoos had been damaged by third-degree burns, and it was unlikely he’d be able to get them tattooed over once they’d healed. There’d be scar tissue and that didn’t take well to ink – or so his brothers had told me.
Hunter sat asleep in the corner of a chair, a flask full of hot coffee Mallory had brought him propped on a table. The short redheaded girl pulled the uniform hospital blue blanket further up her man’s shoulders. He had his own wounds to nurse, a couple of third-degrees on his hands and arms from where he’d come crashing through the side of the living room wall just before the building collapsed.
He had luck or fate on his side when he’d gone on a suicide mission into that house. Mallory had still been sobbing when I had woken up two days after the fire. Hunter held her tightly in his arms, whispering in her ear and reassuring her until she had managed to calm down.
The pain and relief on her face was heartwrenching as she clung to her man. For the last two weeks, she’d been on his heels, irritating the fuck out of Hunter as she waited on him hand and foot. He didn’t say anything though; he let her be, only grumbling about wearing herself when she was out of earshot.
“I’m sorry…,” I mumbled, catching her attention.
She gave me a puzzled look, her head tilting a little to one side as she tucked her long red hair behind her ear. “Me?” She pointed at herself.
I nodded.
“What are you apologizing for?” Mallory’s surprise was genuine, frowning at my sudden words.
“Your husband. It’s my fault he got injured like that.” I gestured to sleeping hulk.
Mallory’s lips quirked in a weak smile before turning back to Hunter. The frowning man, bearing the dark circles under his eyes, looked peaceful and undisturbed as his wife turned to tweak the blanket some more. The poor thing was stretched as far as it would go across his wide chest.
“You’ll wear yourself if you apologize for things like that.” Mallory released her husband and turned back to me. She didn’t look happy despite the smile on her face. She looked resigned. “These boys will do anything for each other. Whether it’s running an errand or taking a bullet for each other. It’s just the way they are. No matter how much we want them to be safe, they won’t think twice about taking on danger for their brother.”
“Why do you put up with it?” The question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. “I’m sorry, that was rude.”
“No, it’s fine.” Mallory waved me off with her slender hand. “I put up with it,” Mallory answered, glancing at Jax and then at Hunter. “Because as much as I hate the idea of my children not having their dad one day, I also wouldn’t want them
to have a dad who would abandon his best friend just because his wife said so.”
“It sounds complicated,” I grumbled, my eyes drifting back to Jax’s face.
Mallory’s light laughs filled the room. “Just do what you want to do,” Mallory advised. “But never let these men walk all over you. The second they think they’ve won, you’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Jax has been walking all over me since I was little,” I mused, my hand brushing down the soft, chiseled edges of his cheek, all the way down to his jaw and chin. “I’d happily lose if he would just wake up.”
I heard Mallory’s footsteps as she walked up beside me, the weight of her hand on my shoulder. She gave it a soft rub, looking over my shoulder at Jax’s sleeping face. “Have you tried kissing him?”
“What?” I frowned, turning to look up at her. I didn’t like the little smirk pulling on her lips, but I never would have guessed what she suggested.
“Kiss him and see if he’ll wake up.” She patted my shoulder, as if urging me. “Like Sleeping Beauty.”
“Sleeping Beauty?” I choked. “That’s a fairy tale!”
“So?” Mallory shrugged. “It’s a classic. I put the soundtrack on for Freya to fall asleep to. She loves it.”
“It’s also fictional,” I rebutted.
“Still. I know Jax is no Aurora, but he is a beauty—don’t tell him I said that—and he is sleeping.” She pointed down at the bed where Jax laid prone on the bed, chest rising and falling with soft, quiet breaths. “Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.”
I stared at her, waiting for her poker face to break and laugh at her own joke. She didn’t break.
“Come on.” Mallory became more persistent, reaching under my arm. “I’ll help you up.”
“This is so stupid,” I grumbled as Mallory helped me up out of my hospital-issued wheelchair.
I braced my free hand on the side of the bed as Mallory pulled my hair back over my shoulder. Leaning in, I smelled the fresh sheets and antiseptic of the burn patches. The absence of his scent, the crisp summer grass, oil, and leather, made my heart wane.
I leaned further down, my lips just an inch from his. I took a moment to look at his closed eyes, and even if it was childish, even if it was stupid, I couldn’t help the little wish from inside of me.
Please…Please let this work….
My eyes fluttered closed, and with a soft breath, I pressed my lips against his. They were as soft as I remembered, and as I tasted his skin on my lips, a part of my heart fluttered. But when they didn’t move back, when they didn’t return my kiss, I felt my heart begin to sink.
This was stup—
I jerked back from the bed. My neck cried in pain at the sudden movement, but the hot heat and fury burning in my chest couldn’t be contained. I didn’t even think as I broke my arm from Mallory’s hold and swung.
I slapped him.
The sharp noise had the chair in the corner of the room screeching back as Hunter lurched from his chair.
“V!” Mallory squeaked in surprise.
Hunter took one look at me, and I’m sure my face was flushed bright red.
“What’s going—”
“You bastard!” I cried, glaring at the sick fucker laying in the bed.
Jax broke. His weak wheezing vibrated out of his chest as his body began to curl in hysteria.
“I hate you!” I cried, my fist coming down hard on his chest. Jax tried to fend against my fists, but his laughter took all his strength away from him. “I hate you! You’re a fucking bastard!” I cried, the tears streaming down my face.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, okay?” Jax laughed. “I woke up halfway through your conversation and I just… I couldn’t resist?”
He offered an innocent shrug.
“You’re a dick,” Hunter growled, turning and storming out of Jax’s hospital room without a second thought.
I’m sure he was off to make some call to his brothers about Jax’s marvelous recovery, but they’d be disappointed when they got back here to find out I suffocated his ass with a pillow.
Jax’s laugh dropped to a deep chuckle as his beautiful brown eyes turned sympathetic. “I’m sorry, okay?” He opened his arms as if expecting me to jump right into them. “Come here.”
“No,” I hissed. “I hate you. For real.”
His arm reached out despite my protest to his touch, and I tried to slap it away. It was pointless, however, as Mallory’s light shove on my back had my chest tipping forward.
I landed face-first into his chest and Jax’s arms locked like a vase around my back. He squeezed me tight, his laugh turning into a meek chuckle in my ear. “I’m sorry, babe.”
“Don’t call me babe,” I growled into his hospital gown, unable to stop my hands from curling up in the sheets. I buried my nose deeper into his chest, the rippling uneven vibration of his chest sending flushes of warm and relief down to my toes.
“Haven’t we made up now, though?” Jax mumbled into my ear, his cheek nuzzling into the side of my hair as he took a deep long breath. “I mean you’ve kissed me and slapped me. Isn’t that how couples normally make up?”
“Well I certainly don’t feel like apologizing to you anymore,” I mumbled into his chest, rubbing all sorts of snot and tears onto his gown.
Jax chuckled, a hand coming up to the back of my head as his fingers sifted through my hair.
“You’ve had a haircut,” Jax mused, pulling at the soft short ends of my hair. It fell to the back of my neck, the bob being my own scar left from the fire.
“My hair got singed from the fire, so Anna cut it off,” I answered.
“I see…,” Jax muttered, his voice dry and crackling. He probably had a dry throat. I had a coughing fit the second I woke up and chugged nearly three jugs of water before the urge to throw up my lungs had subsided. I should have offered him a glass of water, but I couldn’t bear to let go. Couldn’t bear to give up feeling his breaths and rumbling voice through the bones of his chest. To give up the one thing I had almost lost. All because of me….
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I felt Jax still beneath me. I wasn’t deterred. “I shouldn’t have blamed you for all of my problems. You didn’t deserve it.”
“I’m sorry too,” Jax replied, his hand once again moving against the back of my head, combing through my hair in a soft, soothing motion. “I shouldn’t have blamed you for not coming with me. I shouldn’t have put that pressure on you and punished you for doing what you thought was right. You didn’t deserve that either.”
I pulled my head up from his chest, turning to look at the deep brown eyes. They were soft and gentle and more relaxed than I’d seen them in a long while. “I guess this means we really have made up.”
“Does this mean we get to have sex now?” Jax smirked, the crinkles under his eyes turning mischievous in a second.
“You never stop, do you?” I chuckled, rolling my eyes.
“Nope.” Jax smirked. “Guess this just means you’re gonna have to keep up with me.”
“That ain’t a problem, princess.” I leaned up toward his face, brushing my lips against his.
“Princess?” Jax’s lips capturing the top of mine in a teasing nibble.
“You’re my sleeping beauty. I’m your prince. That’s how it is.”
“In that case, Prince,” Jax mused. “Hurry up and kiss your princess. I’m getting lonely.”
I tried to laugh, the statement too funny to have come out of such a rugged man’s lips, but I didn’t get much of a chance as my princess took it into his own hands. Or rather his lips.
His kiss captured mine, and just like in the fairy tales, I couldn’t resist falling in love.
This man was mine, and I was never letting him go.
My princess.
My Jax.
Chapter Thirty
Jax
“Ouch!” I snapped, dragging my arm away. “Why are you being so rough when I was so gentle?”
“Gen
tle, my ass.” Ronnie dragged back my wrist until it propped on her thigh. She pressed the alcohol wipe to my wound again and, fuck, it burned. Whenever Kay did it, it didn’t seem to hurt so much! Why did she have to let—
“If you finish that thought, I’m gonna jab this with my finger,” she growled, probing a finger near the deep cut and sore rope marks in question, a glint of warning in her jaded green eyes.
“How did you?”
“How long have I known you?” she grumbled, half under her breath, half not. “I can read you like an open book when you’re like this. You’ve never liked pain. Why on earth you struggled against the ropes so much, I’ve got no idea.”
“Well the idea of a spit roasting myself didn’t sound all that appealing,” I retorted, making sure to underscore the point by sticking my tongue out at her. “I’m sure I’d taste nice though.”
Ronnie rolled her eyes. “If you didn’t have all the freaking nurses fawning all over you, I wouldn’t have to be the one to do this.”
“Just admit that you’re jealous,” I teased, loving the way her cheeks flushed a slight red and her dark lashes fluttered, her pretty little eyes flickering down to the floor.
“Fine,” she grunted. “I was jealous.”
I stuttered. Me, a grown-ass man, who had heard every dirty little promise even the kinkiest of women had told me, had stuttered. “I- Ah- Can you please repeat that?”
Ronnie’s eyes flickered back up toward me, round and open, catching the fluorescent hospital lights to reveal those little hidden flecks of yellow. They were steady and unhesitating, and through her beat-red cheeks, she said, “I was jealous.”
I couldn’t be sure what expression I had on my face, but whatever it was caused Ronnie’s cheeks to almost glow as her head ducked once more, the embarrassment overwhelming her. “Am I not allowed to be jealous of other women touching my man?”
My man.
“Fuck, what did I do to deserve something this good?” I whispered into the air, my heart turning to gush and wanting to wash out of every pour in my body. The swell of emotion sapped my energy as I hunched over, my head dropping gently onto her shoulder. “Where have you been, woman.”
Jax: Black Angels MC, #3 Page 33
