He took a long time to answer but finally said, “There is a difference between wanting to and needing to.”
That, she understood perfectly. She hadn’t wanted to drive cross-country with everything she owned in the back of her car, but she’d needed to. And her unborn son had needed her, too.
The rest of the morning and early afternoon passed in a blur of sights and stories, everything superficial, lighthearted, and in contrast to the heavy history Dan had shared. That appeared to be their modus operandi. Share and confess, then laugh and ignore. She was okay with that. In fact, she was okay with him and their time together, though a part of her was enjoying his quick smile and supportive hand a little more than she should. She didn’t think he even was aware of him doing it. Helping her in and out of the truck, guiding her with a hand in the small of her back. They weren’t possessive moves, they were ingrained ones.
“You hungry?”
She was, but she was also a little off-balance. The thought of spending more time with him out and about, almost like a couple, was intoxicating. She was eight months pregnant and in a new town, one he was leaving. There was no room for intoxication in her life. Which meant she knew what her answer had to be.
“Not really. More tired than anything.”
Dan’s eyes softened, and he gently gripped her shoulders. “I am so sorry. I never thought to give you a break. Good Lord, you’re carrying around a human being.”
“Really, I’m fine. Nothing a little nap won’t cure.”
Dan didn’t look convinced, but he drove them to the lodge and dogged her steps all the way to her room. “I’ll tell Laney to send something up in a couple hours. Sweet? Salty?”
A rush of indignation weighted her limbs. This was her fault. She’d stopped fighting him on every little thing, and he’d stepped in to try and solve her every problem. Did he think she couldn’t take care of herself? She took a deep breath. “Thanks, but I’ll call down when I wake. Who knows what this little guy will want by then.”
“Okay. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will. And thank you for today.” She kissed his cheek. The stubble grazed her lips, causing warmth to pool low. Stubble? Really, pregnancy hormones?
She stepped back. “See ya later,” she said and shut the door.
Once it was closed, she rested her back against the wood and let out a sigh. Things were quickly spiraling out of her control. Men weren’t supposed to even enter her stratosphere for years. Her life was supposed to be her and her two feet, taking care of her son. How did one stand on their own two feet when another pair had entered the picture and so effortlessly offered to help? Dan’s support was a natural extension of him, and she had no idea what to do with it. So she did the only thing she could think of.
She prayed for a Christmas miracle.
Chapter Nine
Sofie adjusted her weight, allowing her left butt cheek some much-needed blood. Theater seats were not meant for the pregnant. Or at least, not the severely pregnant. Shelby glanced her way and raised an eyebrow in question. Sofie managed a smile through another shift.
Fly Creek theater sat inside a remodeled barn. Not surprising, given all the businesses she’d seen converted in them since coming to town, but the inside was beautiful. Rustic chandeliers dotted the high ceilings. The upper area, which she assumed used to hold hay, now held simple boxes with elevated views of the stage. Every seat was occupied, and she had to guess that it wasn’t only Fly Creek residents in attendance.
Quiet conversations wove here and there, random words accented from all sides. Sofie leafed through her program until Dan’s name caught her eye. She frowned. That was quick work since he’d only been asked to perform four days ago. She snorted. Polly might be worse than Shelby. She had no doubt Dan was slated from the beginning, only he didn’t find out till it was impossible to decline. Not that she thought he ever would.
Her body tensed, and she clamped her jaw shut lest she turn around and unleash her fury on the townspeople. It was clear Dan was taken for granted. And the worst part was he knew. It was no wonder the man wanted out. Giving was a gift. Assuming that gift would be around forever made one bitter. So far, she hadn’t seen any bitterness, but she imagined at this point it was there waiting to be unleashed. Then again, maybe he understood that, too, and wanted to leave before he hurt the very people who were hurting him.
The lanterns surrounding the room dimmed, and a hush came across the crowd in a wave. Sofie closed her eyes and opened them, readjusting to the dim interior. The curtain opened, and a Little Christmas tree stood in the center surrounded by toys. The opening strains of a Nutcracker song sounded, and little children dressed as mice danced and twirled their way across the stage. Mock fighting commenced, their little tails and ears bobbing and dancing with them. Joy, the likes of which she only expected at the birth of her son, burst through her veins, leaving her giddy and light-headed.
Her son could be up there one day. He could be wielding a little sword while wearing little mouse ears. She swiped a tear before it could escape and smiled and laughed with the crowd as the Fly Creek children put on a show worthy of a standing ovation.
The music came to an end and the children took their bows. Sofie glanced down at the pamphlet again to see that the next performance was to be a duet with Dan accompanying. Nerves took hold and she flexed her fingers. Why on earth was she nervous for him? From what she’d heard, Dan was very good. There was a small commotion behind the curtains followed by a crash. Ohh, echoed throughout the barn as friends and family exchanged worried glances. Some exchanged knowing smiles. On stage, a male voice mumbled something, with another voice responding, and then the curtains shook and flailed until Polly stepped through the center.
“Ladies and gentlemen, there’s been a small change to our program.” She stepped to the side, and the curtains parted to reveal Dan sitting by himself on a velvet chair in front of the Christmas tree. He wore jeans, a red shirt, and a black vest. His tan Stetson sat on his head. He’d never looked more handsome.
The lights dimmed, and she saw him shoot a glare to the side of the stage. No doubt to Polly and whatever shenanigans she was pulling now.
“Well, now, as you can see I’m not Belinda.” The audience chuckled. “But as Polly decrees, y’all know it must be. So, here’s a little carol from me to you.”
As he said you, his gaze crashed into hers. How he knew where she was in the audience she had no idea and for the briefest of moments she thought she’d imagined it. But then the opening chords of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” rang out, and Sofie’s throat closed up with emotion. She moistened her lips and her fingernails bit into her palms. She would not cry.
His voice was low and velvety. Smooth like the river rocks they’d picked up on their walk around the lake. It poured through the theater and wrapped around her, warming her from the outside in. She double checked the program and saw Belinda was supposed to be singing “Silent Night.” She chanced a glance to her right to find Shelby entranced, as was everyone else in the theater.
The song built to its height and Sofie couldn’t tear her eyes away. She could no longer fight the feelings this amazing man brought out in her. Could no longer pretend that she didn’t envision her future life here in Fly Creek with him a part of it. Smiling and supporting. Laughing and encouraging. Sharing in the building of a new her and a new family.
The song ended on a chord and the room erupted in applause, people scrambling to stand. Dan stood and took a bow, red flushing his face.
Sofie heaved her body up and joined in the well-deserved accolade, her hand creeping to her face to wipe the tears before anyone else could notice them. Dan saw her just before leaving the stage and smiled—one of his genuine, I-mean-it smiles. Not the Dependable Dan smile he gave everyone else.
Shelby tugged on her sleeve. “That was different.”
The crowd moved to settle back in their seats and Sofie whispered, “Different how?”
“Well, not what he usually sings. Polly ropes him in every year, and every year there’s a duet scheduled with some woman that at the last-minute changes and Dan has to sing by himself. Why the charade, only Polly knows. It’s not like Dan would say no if she just asked him to sing. Anyway, he always does ‘White Christmas.’ I wonder why he changed it this year.”
Silence once again reigned in the Fly Creek Theater, but Sofie was hung up on Shelby’s words. He’d changed it because of her. It was a gift to her. For her. And as the next group swarmed the stage, Sofie accepted that Dan Rigby and his white knight of a heart was now firmly entrenched in hers.
…
Dan shifted his weight and threaded his hat through his fingers. He knew Sofie was somewhere in the mass of people exiting the theater. He was counting on Shelby to bring Sofie to him. What he didn’t know was what Sofie’s reaction would be. The song had been a chance. One he hadn’t known he was planning on taking until Polly yet again pulled the, “I have no idea where so and so is, you’ll have to sing yourself” act. Spur of the moment, he’d decided screw it. He’d show Sofie he cared, that he wanted to be with her. He was tired of not fighting for what he wanted, of giving up everything and getting nothing in return. It was his turn to be selfish.
He wanted to be by her side helping in this new life she was starting. This newfound path she was forging on her own. Plus, throwing Fly Creek for a loop was an added bonus.
He just hoped she wouldn’t stomp on his heart…
Light glinted off Shelby’s hat and a glance to her right showed her supporting Sofie through the exodus. He waited, shifting his weight again. It would make no sense to barrel through the crowd. He’d already exposed enough of himself tonight.
It probably took less than a minute for them to come up beside him, but in that minute, he’d imagined every positive and negative scenario possible.
Shelby bussed his cheek. “You outdid yourself tonight.”
Her pride shone through teary eyes and pinkened cheeks. His heart warmed at the amazing woman who, for all intents and purposes, was his mother. “Thank you.”
Sofie stood beside Shelby and when he finally got the courage to meet her gaze, his heart stopped and picked back up in a new rhythm. A hopeful rhythm to the chant of her name. Nothing in her face gave her away, but her hazel eyes swam with unshed tears, appreciation, and awareness.
He offered her his elbow, and she slid her gloved hands through.
As they made their way to his truck, she pushed up on her toes and whispered, “It was magical.”
He couldn’t prevent the smile erupting on his face. Now if the rest of the night played out, he might have finally found something worth staying in Fly Creek for. Someone to give to wholeheartedly. That is, if she would accept him.
The ride to the lodge was silent and tension filled, neither of them wanting to break the moment.
But fate, in the form of one very protective Shelby Marks, interfered once they’d arrived at Sky Lake and insisted on getting Sofie settled, claiming the exhaustion was written all over her face. Dan could do nothing but meet Sofie’s gaze and smile as the two women made their way to the elevator. He stared long after the doors closed, memorizing the way Sofie mouthed “tomorrow.”
Tomorrow. So she did recognize his gesture, and she wanted to do or say something about it. But Lord, how could he wait until tomorrow? Although, Shelby had been right. Sofie did look tired, and he needed to be aware of her condition and what that entailed. He’d never thought too far ahead about becoming a father, and he had no good role model in that sphere. Not even Mitchum Marks, who helped raised him but treated his own son with cold looks and harsh words. Mitchum had mellowed out over the years and was a fabulous grandfather to Mel, but definitely not the kind of dad Dan planned on being if he thought about it.
Sofie’s son is not yours.
He recognized those words and accepted them. But he could still play a part in the little boy’s life. Help Sofie and support her. Show her there were good men in the world.
“Dan?”
Oh boy, how long had he stood staring at the dying embers in the fireplace?
“Hey, Shelby. Just headed out to catch some sleep.”
“Not before you share a drink and a table with me.”
Lord, he knew that look and tone. She was working up to a talk about his intentions. He’d seen her dole them out to plenty of people over the years, but never to him. How could he survive an inquisition with the woman who knew him better than anyone? Not to mention, he wasn’t quite sure what his intentions were and definitely didn’t know Sofie’s thoughts.
But he would man up and face this head on. “Lead the way.”
They settled in at the table by the huge arched window with the view of Sky Lake, an inky mass under the dark moonless night.
“That was quite a performance tonight.”
Stay cool. Dan shrugged. “Thought it was time to expand my repertoire.”
“Unique choice.”
“I like the song.”
“So does Sofie.”
Dan sipped his whiskey. There was no response to that. Shelby gained intel the way lights gained moths.
“She’s special, Dan.”
“I know.”
“And pregnant.”
Dan narrowed his gaze.
“Big choice to take on someone else’s child.”
“You did it.”
She squeezed his hand. “I thank God every day that I did.”
He changed the positions of their hands and squeezed. “Me, too.”
“You’ve thought this through.”
He hadn’t. Not all the way. Only because he didn’t know Sofie’s thoughts, and honestly, there was still that lingering concern over Sofie and her determination to be independent in her new life. Could she fit him into the picture when she wanted to do everything on her own? Did she even want to try?
“I know there are hurdles and challenges. I’m aware and ready to take the chance. If she is.”
“And you’re no longer planning on leaving?”
The glass he’d been spinning went clattering to the floor. He stared at it, unable to meet Shelby’s all-too knowing gaze. He swallowed hard, his throat raw from emotion. “How?”
“The note.”
The note he’d left the night he’d met Sofie. The one he’d assumed no one had read. The one he’d thrown away.
“When I learned you had made sure all your shifts were covered that day, I stopped by, thinking something was wrong and you didn’t want anyone worrying. I found the note. Then I came back here to try and call you, only to find out you had arrived with a pregnant woman.”
He couldn’t meet her gaze. Couldn’t bear to see the possible disappointment or hurt in eyes that had loved and cared for him. “I’m sorry, Shelby. I should have told you.”
Shelby held up her hand. “You must have had your reasons, and I raised you well enough to know your own mind. When you feel it’s right, you can tell me, but not when you’re feeling guilty because I found out.” Shelby downed the rest of her tumbler. “Now, back to Sofie. I’m proud to know that you have enough sense to understand that there are two people making choices here.”
She patted his hand and left, leaving him staring out into the night. Guilt needled him, the raw spots on his soul once again burning. He shifted several times in the chair. He should have told Shelby then. Gotten it out. Aired his laundry, as she would say.
No. He couldn’t have told her the night he left or now. How could you explain about all that was missing in your life to the woman who had given you so much? He couldn’t and right now his brain only had enough room for the woman who just might be his Christmas miracle.
Sofie had said tomorrow.
Tomorrow it would be.
…
Sofie slid her gloved hand through Dan’s arm and they walked down the steps of the main lodge. She’d spent all morning making lists of purchases she needed to make for the baby and finding leads on apartments. When a note was slid under her door inviting her to a private dinner for two, she couldn’t contain the butterflies that erupted in her stomach. Giddiness at her age really should be outlawed, since she spent the next hour daydreaming about what exactly private meant.
Turned out, a cozy table for two secluded in front of a huge arched picture window overlooking the lake that gave the ranch its name. Sofie had hemmed and hawed over having a serious conversation about what was happening between them and just what Dan had meant with the song last night, but she couldn’t bring herself to break the magic web he was weaving around them over dinner. Sharing laughs and little touches. Genuine smiles and brightened, hopeful glances.
Now he was leading her somewhere on the ranch after ensuring she was wrapped up tighter than a present under the tree. She couldn’t bring herself to possibly hear words that would spell the end of this precious evening. And truth be told, she was scared to death of the feelings being with this handsome cowboy brought forth.
They stopped moving, and she glanced up, only to gasp in pleasure.
“What is this?”
“It’s our horse ride. Since I can’t officially put you on one until the baby comes, I thought a carriage ride might be the next best thing.”
Sofie ran her hand down the mane of one of the horses. It chuffed and tossed its head. Light snow sprinkled its mane, and she glanced at the lantern to see the amount had increased since they’d left the lodge.
“I think he likes you.”
“Just wait until he’s pulling my overdue pregnant body across the snow,” she joked. “This one doesn’t have any hidden talents, does he?”
Dan turned his face and kissed her gloved palm. “No, ma’am.”
The Cowboy's Christmas Baby Page 9
