She stopped moving, but he put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her forward. “Just how good are your delivery skills?”
Widened eyes peeked at him through her red muffler and hat. “You left her alone in labor?”
That was the end of their conversation. They both hurried, stumbling through the wind and snow. Dan prayed that he hadn’t been gone too long, and that Sofie was doing exactly what he told her.
He pushed up the last two steps, dragging Becky Jane with him. They tried to get through the door at the same time, and Dan stepped back, letting her in first. Then he slammed the door, sealing them in. The fire had died, and the room had a slight chill.
Sofie lay on the couch, breathing deeply. She met his gaze as she gripped her stomach, sweat leaving trails down her temple despite the chill.
“Get that fire blazing, find as many towels as you can, and hot clean water,” said Becky Jane. Dan moved to do as he was told, for once not bristling at her tone or her orders.
“You brought the vet?”
Dan and Becky Jane both looked at Sofie and burst out laughing. It was either that or let the panic take over. He had no idea what Becky Jane was feeling, but he was at his breaking point. He had brought a vet. To deliver Sofie’s baby.
“Large animal vet, to be precise, but more importantly, I’m a volunteer firefighter in all the spare time I have. How far apart are the contractions?”
The rumble of their conversation continued as Dan gathered everything he’d been ordered to. He focused on the task and not the pain that crept into Sofie’s voice. He wanted to take it away from her. To relieve her of anything that brought a frown or a shadow to her face.
“I need to look,” he heard Becky Jane say, and a quick glance showed Sofie torn between modesty and the need to believe Becky Jane knew what she was doing. He didn’t wait to see how it played out, instead running up the steps to gather anything soft and absorbent he could find. He had faith that Becky Jane would get Sofie to do what needed to be done.
He came back down to find Becky Jane reappearing from under a draped sheet. She looked at him. “How fond of this couch are you?”
“You do whatever you need to do.”
She nodded.
He brought the remaining stuff and set it on the coffee table, which had been moved back to allow Becky Jane some room. One more log on the fire then he grabbed the washcloth he’d wet and dabbed at Sofie’s face. “Thank you,” she said.
He kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, “You’re amazing.”
She laughed. “I haven’t done anything yet.”
Becky Jane moved one of her legs. “You’re about to.”
While definitely a team effort, Dan was nothing more than a mouthpiece and a stirrup. He whispered encouragement and counted, his palms acting as leverage as Becky Jane helped Sofie to figure out where to push and how hard. Everything shifted to slow motion. Dan lost track of how many pushes or where he was in his counting. He uttered more prayers for Sofie and her baby than there were stars in the sky.
“Last one, Sofie. I know you’re tired and in pain and a whole host of other not-so-pleasant things that most of us will never understand, but I need you to give it everything. Push right here where my fingers are.”
They all took up their positions, and Dan held his breath.
“That’s it,” BJ coached. “Hold on.”
Sofie groaned, the painful sound ripping Dan up the middle. Becky Jane grabbed another towel.
“Now push.”
Sofie grunted, and Dan was mesmerized as out came a wriggly mess of arms and legs, and—yes, it was a boy. Becky Jane quickly rubbed his back and cleaned him off, and a cry split through the room.
Wrapping him up, she lay him on Sofie’s chest. “Dan, it’s probably best you not watch this part.”
He hadn’t planned on it. Instead, he was lost in the miracle of this angel holding her baby boy to her chest. The look of pure love and joy overshadowing any lingering pains. He dropped to his knees, overwhelmed with emotion. How could he express the joy spreading through his chest? How could he thank her for letting him in on this most precious moment? He’d been searching for a family of his own and he knew he’d just found it.
Sofie looked at him, tears running freely. “Thank you. Thank you for keeping us safe.”
He brushed his lips across her cheek. “Thank you for trusting me to do so.”
Chapter Eleven
Sofie smiled as the nurse peeked her head in. “Need a break?”
Not in a million years. “I’m good. I could use some water, though.”
The nurse popped out, and Sofie looked back down at the bundle sleeping contently in her arms. His skin tone had evened out, and he was spick-and-span, with little tufts of blond hair sticking out in all directions. His rosebud lips were pursed as she double-checked his breathing was even. Since Becky Jane had lacked a suction tool when the baby first arrived, they’d warned Sofie about respiratory distress. Other than that, her son had been given a clean bill of health, and her delivery team lots of “good jobs” and claps on the back.
They deserved it. Everything from the moment Becky Jane had laid Sofie’s son on her chest was a foggy memory. It had been a team effort by most of Sky Lake to get her out and to the hospital. Dan hadn’t left her side, ensuring she and her son were warm and safe, and constantly murmuring words of reassurance. Despite the fog of details, now that adrenaline and fear were gone, gratitude—and something she wasn’t ready to define—had taken their place.
“He really was marvelous,” she whispered to her little man, dropping a kiss on his forehead.
The door opened, but rather than the nurse bringing her water, it was her cowboy white knight carrying a mug. Dan smiled and offered her a sip, which she took, and then set it down within reach on the table. He pulled the chair he’d rarely been out of closer to the edge of the bed and settled his frame, hanging his hat on his knee.
“How ya feeling?”
“Pretty good, all things considering.”
He searched her face several times, no doubt considering whether she was speaking the truth. The idea that he thought he knew her so well he could detect any fibs was unnerving. Even more so was the fact that he actually could.
“Heard from Emily yet?”
“She’ll be in late tonight, so I expect her in the morning.”
Dan snorted.
“What?” She adjusted her bundle and reached for the mug.
“Would you wait to see Emily if she’d just given birth to her first child in the middle of a blizzard?”
He had a point, one she knew good and well. She sighed. She wasn’t ready for Emily. For anyone yet, really.
“Have you slept at all?”
She hadn’t. She knew she needed to. Her eyelids were slowly losing the battle to stay open, and in order to be her best for her son, she needed to be awake, at least.
“I didn’t think so.” Dan reached for the baby, but she shifted him away, not ready to let go yet. “You sure? I was just going to lay him in his crib and move it beside you.”
“I’m sorry. Give me five more minutes.”
Dan hadn’t slept, either. She knew that. Good Lord, the man had braved a blizzard to find someone to help her. But he was also acting as if she couldn’t take care of herself, hovering and making decisions that weren’t his to make.
Dan nodded and took a step back. His shoulders drooped as he swallowed hard, the hurt clearly lingering. He paced to the window, and she examined the way his jeans rode low on his hips. Hips she’d traced with fingers and lips. What would have happened had her water not broken?
Something magical.
She sighed. Shouldn’t her pregnancy hormones be gone by now? But she knew she could no longer blame the hormones for their attraction.
“You okay?”
“Someday.” He shrugged, still not quite the man who had walked into her room minutes earlier. “Not today, necessarily.”
This time it was she who looked at him as if he were missing something. “If Emily shows up here and I don’t have a name, she won’t let it rest until I do. Then I’ll probably name him something like Monet just to shut her up.”
He gave a short laugh then ran a hand down his neck and stared at the floor. “You might have a bigger force to worry about.”
“Who could be bigger than my baby sister?”
“Shelby.”
“What? Why is Shelby coming here?”
Man, they were ping-ponging obtuse looks off of one another like an Olympic badminton final.
“One, you’re Emily’s sister. Two, you gave birth on her property during a blizzard. Three, I was with you. Four, this is Fly Creek, and we pretty much visit and celebrate every birth within reason.”
She wanted to ask just what the “within reason” entailed, but she got hung up on reason three. Dan. Shelby was his surrogate mother. Dan was Sofie’s…well, he was nothing, officially, but he might be something someday, so was there a direct correlation there? Had Dan given Shelby any indication of his feelings for her? Lord, small towns were a headache. So were white knights who were, most likely, too good to be true.
“Knowing you and how efficient you are, I’m sure you had some names picked out. You knew it was a boy, right?”
He was right. She’d had a list and had figured once he was born, one of those names would fit perfectly. Only…none of them did.
“I had a list.” She glanced back down. “But they just don’t seem to work.”
“I could start tossing names out.”
She shook her head. She needed her son’s name to come from her. Control and choices were hers, even if she felt they were already slipping back out of her hands. They needed to be the foundation of her new life.
“One will come, Sofie.”
God, why was he so patient and easygoing? It made it so effortless to care for him. “I think I’m ready for that nap.”
He smiled and eased his hands under her son. She released him only after she was sure Dan had a good hold on her little man. She expected him to put him right down, but instead, Dan stared for the longest time. She could see his eyes tracing each feature, as if memorizing. He looked so natural holding him, rocking from side to side like a pro. Butterflies tickled her belly as a calm settled into her heart, the image in front of her full of adoration and wonderment.
Dan glanced up, catching her gaze, and blushed. “Sorry.” Then he placed her son in his crib and pushed it beside the bed. Sofie rested her arm on the edge and let her eyes close as Dan moved around the bed and settled back into his chair.
She knew he would watch over her and her son like the protector he was. She felt safer knowing he would be there, but that was also the problem. Relying on him—on anyone—was exactly what she didn’t want. How could she trust herself not to miss the signs of losing control like last time? Only this time, she was looking out for more than just herself.
She wasn’t sure what to do anymore, so instead, she let herself drift off to much-needed sleep. Maybe when she woke, things would be clearer.
…
“I’m not sure she would like that.”
“You’re probably right, but I can’t wait to snuggle that little bundle.”
Dan saw the gleam in Shelby’s eyes. It was the same one she got when she was looking at her granddaughter, Mel. He’d known things were going to be tough with her, but he hadn’t expected her to travel down eight roads at once—roads that led to him and Sofie and the little bundle of joy creating one big happy family.
Lord, he hoped Sofie would wake up soon. Dealing with Shelby on his own while defending the little guy was a battle he wasn’t sure he would win.
“Dan?”
His prayers were answered, and he rounded Shelby and grabbed hold of Sofie’s hand. Her eyes opened and closed several times before she managed to keep them more open than closed.
“Where’s Tyler?”
“Who’s Tyler?”
She blinked, and her gaze shifted to the little bundle beside her. “My son.”
He didn’t know how a name had suddenly appeared, but he went with the flow, lifting the warm little man whose eyes were more alert than his mother’s. Sofie pushed up and winced, and before Dan could figure out the logistics, Shelby was on the other side helping her maneuver and fluffing her pillow.
“There. Can I raise the back up for you?” Sofie nodded, and once settled, she took Tyler and arranged him in her arms. She smiled at Dan and looked back to Shelby. “Thank you for stopping by. You didn’t have to. I know how busy you are with Christmas so close.”
Shelby clucked and tucked the blanket in at Sofie’s side. “It’s official. You’re one of us now. Or at least that bundle of love is, so we get you by default.”
Sofie laughed. “Would you like to hold him?”
“Oh goodness, I thought you’d never ask. Dan refused to let me near him while you were sleeping.”
Sofie glanced over at him and gratitude poured out of her eyes’ hazel depths. Self-conscious, he shrugged and stepped back as his mother figure held the newborn.
Humming softly to him, she said, “He has your and Emily’s eyes.” Shelby looked up. “Not the color, but the shape.”
Dan had noticed that. He had Sofie’s nose, too. Although, he didn’t know how much a newborn face changed as they grew. But seeing her likeness in her son had evoked feelings he wasn’t sure what to do with.
“We get them from our Papaw. Those Langley genes are strong.”
As if on cue, Tyler let out a wail, and Sofie made a “gimme” motion. Shelby released her bundle easily. “I’ll let you get some rest.” She pointed to the far sofa, where a few bags sat. “Some congratulation gifts from me and the staff.”
A tear slipped down Sofie’s cheek even as she attempted to get Tyler into an eating position. “Thank you, Shelby. You shouldn’t have. You’ve been so kind to me already.”
Shelby waved the thanks away. “I told you. You’re family now.” And he knew it was true. Shelby would do anything for Sofie and her son now, just like Dan would.
He walked her out, allowing Sofie the private time to nurse.
“You did good.”
Dan laughed. “I had nothing to do with that. It was all Sofie.”
Shelby hugged him. “You know what I mean. Just…” She forced his gaze to hers. “Just be careful. I don’t want you hurt.”
She was halfway down the short corridor before he could wave away her concerns, because deep down they were his concerns, too. The magic of Sofie and this evening, followed by the beauty of the birth and the aftermath, had all seeped away, and now reality faced them both.
They hadn’t talked at all about their relationship, and now there was a baby involved. The whole thing was a mess, really. But Dan was sure of one thing—his place was with Sofie and Tyler. He just needed to show Sofie he was in it for the long haul.
…
Dan pushed open the door and held it for Sofie to cross into her room at Sky Lake. She gasped. There were bags on the floor, a Pack ’n Play set up beside the bed, and a small Christmas tree on the table.
She turned her gaze to Dan, who set the diaper bag and the gifts from the hospital on the sofa in the corner.
“Why did they change my room?”
“Shelby thought you might like the extra space, plus this one has a walk-in shower, since moving might not be as easy for a bit.”
Gratitude and something else itched along her skin. She was still being taken care of by others. All
she had wanted was to prove she could do things on her own, and she’d completely failed to do that at every turn. She was thankful for everyone doing kind things for her, but at the same time, she felt like she was in quicksand—the more she tried to get out, the deeper she sank.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She laid Tyler down and traced the alphabet block pattern on the side of the Pack ’n Play. “Why are they doing this?”
Dan sat in the chair and crossed a boot onto his knee. “Doing what? Helping?”
“Yes…no, I mean providing. Do they think I can’t do it myself?”
He was up beside her in a flash. “God no, Sofie. It’s just what this town does. They take care of their own. Not because their own can’t take care of themselves, but because we help and support and love one another.”
“But I just got here.”
He laughed. “So did Tyler, but do you measure the abundance of love I know you have for him based on the short time you’ve known him?”
“It’s not the same.”
“Maybe you’re right. Poor analogy, but the town cares, and you’re in the town.”
His words should ease her concern. It should warm her that she’d chosen such an amazing place to start over. Only, she didn’t feel amazing or capable. She felt like a failure on numerous levels.
Tyler whimpered, and she scooped him up, frustration lacing her movements.
“He’s hungry.”
“We have bottled water here, or I can have Laney heat some up?”
“No.” It came out harsher than she’d intended. She just knew she needed to put her foot down. She couldn’t keep letting people take care of her, no matter how good their intentions. Tears pooled in her eyes.
Dan met her gaze and stopped.
“I can get it,” she told him.
“Okay.” He held his hands up. “You can get it.”
Lord, he probably thought she was crazy. But the ability to nurse hadn’t come easily, and that only had her even more on edge. Figured she couldn’t even do the one simple thing she’d set out to do. The logical side of her had known that there could be pitfalls with breastfeeding, and she knew formula was almost as good. She just hated that her body refused to do what it was supposed to.
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