by J. R. Ward
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Not. At. All.”
As he paused to lick at one of her breasts, she undulated, and he felt the movement against his own body. By now, he was used to sensation breaking through his numb fog, and he relished the echoing warmth and friction, no longer concerned that his bad side might break out of its dopamine cage. Even though what registered wasn’t as sharp as what he felt when he was unmedicated, it was enough so that his body became undeniably aroused.
Rehv couldn’t believe it, but there were a number of times when he thought he might orgasm. Between her taste as he lollipopped her sex and the way her hips rocked into the mattress, he nearly lost it.
Except it was better to keep his cock out of the picture. Seriously, how was that going to work: I’m not impotent, miracle of miracles, because you’ve triggered my marking instinct, so the vampire in me wins out over the symphath. Yay! Of course, this means you have to deal with my barb, along with where that piece of meat hanging between my legs has been on a regular basis for the last twenty-five years. But come on, that’s hot, right.
Yeah, he was in a big hurry to put Ehlena in that position.
Riiiiiiight.
Besides, this was enough for him. To pleasure her, to serve her sexually, was enough—
“Rehv…?”
He looked up from her breast. Given the husky tone in her voice and the erotic glaze in her eyes, he was prepared to agree to anything.
“Yes?” He licked at her nipple.
“Open your mouth for me.”
He frowned, but did as she said, wondering why—
Ehlena reached out and touched one of his fully extended canines. “You said you liked pleasing me, and it shows. These are so long…and sharp…and white….”
As she moved her thighs together like all of the above was turning her on, he knew where this was headed. “Yeah, but—”
“So it would please me if you used them on me. Now.”
“Ehlena—”
The special glow started to leave her face. “Do you have something against my blood?”
“God, no.”
“So why don’t you want to feed from me.” Sitting up, she put a pillow over her breasts, her strawberry blond hair falling down and shielding her face. “Oh. Right. Did you already feed from…her?”
“Christ, no.” He’d rather suck blood out of a lesser. Fuck that, he’d drink out of the bloated carcass of a deer at the side of a highway before he’d take the vein of the princess.
“You don’t take her vein?”
He looked Ehlena dead in the eyes and shook his head. “I do not. And I never will.”
Ehlena sighed and swept her hair back. “I’m sorry. I don’t know if I have the right to ask those kinds of questions.”
“You do.” He took her hand. “You totally do. It’s not…that you can’t ask….”
As his words dangled, his worlds slammed into each other, all kinds of rubble falling around him. Sure, she could ask…he just couldn’t answer her.
Or could he?
“You are the one I want,” he said simply, sticking with as much truth as he could reveal. “You are the only one I want to be in.” He shook his head, realizing what he’d said. “With. I mean, with. Look, about the feeding. Do I want it from you? Fuck, yes. But—”
“Then there is no but.”
The hell there wasn’t. He had a feeling he was going to mount her if he took her vein. His cock was ready even now, and they were only talking about it.
“This is enough for me, Ehlena. Pleasing you is enough.”
She frowned. “Then you must have some problem with my background.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Do you think my blood’s weak? Because for what it’s worth, I can trace my line well into the aristocracy. My father and I may have fallen on hard times, but for generations and most of his life, we were members of the glymera.” As Rehv winced, she got up off the bed, using the pillow to shield herself. “I don’t know exactly where your people descend from, but I can assure you, what is in my veins is acceptable.”
“Ehlena, that’s not the point.”
“You sure about that?” She went over to where he’d taken her clothes off. The panties and the bra went on first, and then she picked up her black slacks.
He couldn’t fathom why serving his blood need was so important to her—because what could possibly be in it for her? But maybe that was the divide between them. She wasn’t hardwired to take advantage of people, so her calculus wasn’t locked on what she got out of things. To him, even when it came to pleasuring her, he was getting something tangible back: Watching her writhe under his mouth made him feel powerful and strong, a real male, not some sexless, sociopathic monster.
She wasn’t like him. And that was why he loved her.
Oh…Christ. Did he…
Yeah, he did.
The realization had Rehv rising up from the bed, walking over to her, and taking her hand as she finished doing up her pants. She paused and looked up at him.
“It’s not you,” he said. “You can trust me on that.”
He gave her a tug and drew her against his body.
“Then prove it,” she said softly.
Pulling back, he stared at her face for a long time. His fangs were throbbing in his mouth; he knew that much. And he could feel the hunger in the pit of his stomach, grinding, demanding.
“Ehlena—”
“Prove. It.”
He couldn’t say no. Just didn’t have the strength to turn her down. It was wrong on so many levels, but she was everything he wanted, needed, desired.
Rehv carefully brushed her hair away from her throat. “I’ll be gentle.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“I will anyway.”
Cupping her face in his palms, he tilted her head to one side and exposed the fragile blue vein that ran to her heart. As she prepared herself for his strike, her pulse quickened; he saw the pumping get faster until it flickered.
“I don’t feel worthy of your blood,” he said, running his forefinger up and down her neck. “It has nothing to do with your line of descent.”
Ehlena reached up to his face. “Rehvenge, what is it? Help me understand what’s going on here. I feel like…when I’m with you, I feel closer to you than to even my own father. But there are huge holes. I know there’s something in them. Talk to me.”
Now would be the time, he thought, to unload everything.
And he was tempted. It would be such a relief to stop the lying. Trouble was, there was nothing more selfish he could do to her. If she knew his secrets, she’d be breaking the law along with him—either that or sending her lover to the colony. And if she chose the latter, he was blowing the shit out of his vow to his mother, because his cover would be totally blown.
He was wrong for her. He was very wrong for her, and he knew it.
Rehv meant to let Ehlena go.
He meant to drop his hands and step back and let her put her clothes all the way on. He was good at persuasion. He could bring her around and make her see that his not drinking was no big deal….
Except his mouth parted. Parted as a hiss steamed up his throat and into the thin barrier of air that separated his fangs from her pumping, vital vein.
Abruptly she gasped, and the muscles that ran up from her shoulders tightened, as if he had cranked down on his hold of her face. Oh, wait, he had. He was hard-core numb, totally without sensation, but it wasn’t about his medication. Every muscle in his body had gone rigid.
“I need you,” he groaned.
Rehv struck hard and she cried out, her spine bending nearly in half as he caged her with his strength. Fuck, she was perfect. She tasted like thick, heavy wine and with dragging pulls of his mouth, he drank her down deep.
And moved her over to the bed.
Ehlena didn’t stand a chance. Neither did he.
Triggered by the feeding, his vampire nature plowed over everything, a male�
�s need to mark what he wanted, to establish sexual territory, to dominate, taking over and driving him to rip down her slacks, pull up one of her legs, position his cock at the threshold of her sex—
And push his way into her.
Ehlena let out another keening cry as he penetrated her. She was incredibly tight, and fearing he might hurt her, he fell still so her body could accommodate him.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice so guttural he didn’t know if she could understand him.
“Don’t…stop…” Ehlena wrapped her legs around his ass, angling herself so he could get in even deeper.
The growl that came out of him echoed around the bedroom—until he latched back onto her throat.
Although, even in the fury of the feeding and the sex, Rehv was careful with her—nothing like he was with the princess. Rehv slid in and out gently, making sure Ehlena was comfortable with his size. When it came to his blackmailer? He wanted to impart pain. With Ehlena? He’d castrate himself with a rusty knife before he hurt her.
Trouble was, she moved with him as he drank his fill of her, and the wild friction of their bodies soon overwhelmed him, his hips no longer surging carefully but pounding—until he had to release her vein or run the risk of tearing her open at the neck. After a couple of laps at his puncture marks, he dropped his head down into her hair and went for it hard and deep and strong.
Ehlena orgasmed, and as he felt the draws gripping along the shaft of his cock, his own release shot up from his sac…which he couldn’t let happen. Before his barb engaged, he pulled out, coming all over her sex and her lower belly.
When it was over, he collapsed on top of her, and it was a while before he could talk.
“Ah…shit…I’m sorry, I must be heavy.”
Ehlena’s hands slid up his back. “You’re wonderful, actually.”
“I…orgasmed.”
“Yes, you did.” Her smile was in her tone. “You really did.”
“I wasn’t sure that I…could, you know. Which was why I pulled…I didn’t expect to…yeah.”
Liar. Fucking liar.
The happiness in her voice made him ill. “Well, I’m glad you did. And if it happens again, that’s great. And if not, that’s just fine. There’s no performance pressure.”
Rehv closed his eyes, his chest aching. He’d pulled back so she didn’t find out he had a barb—and because coming inside of her was a betrayal, given all the things she didn’t know about him.
As she sighed and nuzzled him, he felt like a total, complete bastard.
FORTY-FOUR
The CAT scan was no big deal. Wrath just parked it on a cold slab and kept still as this white piece of medical equipment murmured and politely coughed its way around his head.
The bitch was the wait for the results.
During the scan, Doc Jane was the only one on the other side of the glass partition, and from what he could tell she spent the whole time frowning at a computer monitor. Now that it was over, she was still doing that. Meanwhile, Beth had come in and was by his side in the small tiled room.
God only knew what Doc Jane had found.
“I’m not scared of going under the knife,” he said to his shellan. “As long as that female’s got the handle of the damn thing.”
“Would she do brain surgery?”
Good point. “I don’t know.”
He absently played with Beth’s Saturnine Ruby, rolling the heavy stone around and around.
“Do me a favor,” he whispered.
Beth’s hold tightened on his hand. “Anything. What do you need?”
“Hum the Jeopardy theme.”
There was a pause. Then Beth burst out laughing and swatted his shoulder. “Wrath—”
“Actually, take your clothes off and hum it while doing some belly grooves.” As his shellan bent down and kissed his forehead, he looked up at her through his wraparounds. “You think I’m kidding? Come on, we both need the distraction. And I promise I’ll tip well.”
“You never carry cash.”
He extended his tongue and swept it over his upper lip. “I plan on working it off.”
“You are outrageous.” Beth smiled down at him. “And I like it.”
Staring at her, he got good and afraid. What would his life be like if he were totally blind? Never seeing his shellan’s long dark hair or flashing smile was—
“Okay,” Doc Jane said as she came in. “Here’s what I know.”
Wrath tried not to scream as the ghostly doctor put her hands in the pockets of her white coat and seemed to gather her thoughts.
“I see no evidence of a tumor or a hemorrhage. But there are abnormalities in the various lobes. I haven’t looked at a CAT scan of a vampire brain before, so I have no idea what is structurally consistent within the range of ‘normality.’ I know you want only me to see it, but I can’t call this, and I’d like to have Havers review the scan. Before you say no, I’ll remind you that he’s sworn to protect your privacy. He can’t reveal—”
“Bring him in,” Wrath said.
“This won’t take long.” Doc Jane touched his shoulder and then Beth’s. “He’s right outside. I asked him to wait in case there was a problem with the equipment.”
Wrath watched the doctor go through the little monitoring room and out into the hall. A moment later, she returned with the tall, thin physician. Havers bowed to him and to Beth through the glass and then went over to the monitors.
Both of them assumed the identical pose: bent at the waist, hands in the pockets, brows down low over their eyes.
“Do they coach them to do that in medical school?” Beth said.
“Funny, I was wondering the same thing.”
Long time. Long wait. Lots of that pair on the other side of the big bay window talking and gesturing at the screen with pens. The two eventually straightened and nodded.
They came in together.
“The scan is normal,” Havers said.
Wrath exhaled so hard it was practically a wheeze. Normal. Normal was good.
Havers then asked a bunch of questions, all of which Wrath answered, none of which he was particularly aware of.
“With deference to your private physician,” Havers said, with a bow toward Doc Jane, “I would like to take some blood from your vein for analysis and perform a brief examination.”
Doc Jane chimed in, “I think it’s a good idea. Second opinions are always good when things aren’t clear.”
“Work me up,” Wrath said, giving Beth’s hand a quick kiss before releasing it.
“My lord, would you be so kind as to remove your glasses?”
Havers was quick with the spearing-light-in-the-eyeball routine; then he moved around for an ear check, followed by a heart check. A nurse came in with blood-drawing shit, but Doc Jane did the pierce-and-pull on his vein.
When it was all done, Havers double-pocketed his hands again and sported another one of those doctor frowns. “Everything seems normal. Well, normal for you. Your pupils are nonresponsive, for all intents and purposes, but that’s a protective mechanism because your retinas are so photophobic to begin with.”
“So what’s the bottom line?” Wrath asked.
Doc Jane shrugged. “Keep a diary of the headaches. And if the blindness happens again, we’re all coming back here immediately. Maybe a CAT scan while it’s occurring will help us pinpoint the issue.”
Havers threw another bow to Doc Jane. “I’ll let your physician know about the blood tests.”
“Good deal.” Wrath looked up at his shellan, prepared to go, but Beth was focused on the doctors.
“Neither of you seem very happy about this,” she said.
Doc Jane spoke slowly and carefully, as if she were choosing her words with precision. “Anytime there’s an impairment in function that we can’t explain, I get twitchy. I’m not saying this is a dire situation. But I’m not convinced we’re out of the woods yet just because the CAT scan was okay.”
Wrath slid off the
examination table and took his black leather jacket out of Beth’s hold. It felt fan-fucking-tastic to pull the thing on and ditch the patient role his bitch-ass eyes had forced him into.
“I won’t screw around with this,” he told the coats. “But I’m going to keep working.”
There was a chorus of you-need-to-chill-for-a-couple-of-days, which he blew off by leaving the examination room. The thing was, as he and Beth strode off down the corridor, an odd sense of urgency gripped him.
He had this unshakable sense that he had to act fast, because he didn’t have a lot of time left.
John took his good goddamn time getting to ZeroSum. After he left Xhex’s, he strolled over to Tenth Street and walked in the flurries down to the Tex/Mex place. Inside, he took a table next to a fire exit and, through pointing at pictures on the laminated menu, bought himself two plates of baby backs, a side of mashed, and a side of slaw.
The waitress who took his order and delivered the chow was wearing a skirt short enough to be considered underwear, and she seemed ready to serve him in more than just a dinner kind of way. He actually considered it. She had blond hair and not too much makeup and her legs were nice. But she smelled like barbecue, and he didn’t appreciate the way she talked real slow around him, as if she thought he was dumb.
John paid cash, left a good tip, and hustled along before she could try to give him her number. Out in the cold, he took the long way down Trade. Which was to say he made a detour into each alley he came to.
No lessers. No humans doing bad shit, either.
Finally, he went into ZeroSum. As he walked through the steel-and-glass doors and caught a barrage of lights and music and shady people dressed up slick, his tough-man makeover slipped a little. Xhex would be here—
Yeah. So. Was he such a fucking nancy that he couldn’t be in the same club with her?
Not anymore. John got his balls right and strode over to the velvet rope, past the stares of the bouncers, and up into the VIP lounge. In the back, at the Brotherhood’s table, Qhuinn and Blay were sitting like a pair of quarterbacks stuck on a bench while their team was choking it out on the field: They were antsy and drumming their fingers, playing with the napkins that had come with their bottles of Corona.
