by LP Lovell
My mobile rings on the breakfast bar and I pick it up without looking at the screen.
“Hello?” I rasp. God, I sound like shit.
“Theo?” The male voice on the phone asks.
I close my eyes and lean my forehead on the breakfast bar. “Mmmhmm.”
“Jesus you sound like shit.”
“Before you insult me, who is this?” I grumble. Fucking hell, I feel like my brain has just disconnected and left the building. It’s probably laying down in a dark room and wondering what the fuck happened, and why the fuck I’m even upright…sort of.
He sighs. “It’s me, Will, you twat.” Of all the times for my brother to call me, he calls now. Jesus.
“Oh, hey.”
“I’m in London.” He says matter of fact.
“What? Nice of you to tell me you were coming dickhead.” I growl. My brother can be such an arse sometimes. Would a phone call fucking kill him?
He laughs. “I thought I’d surprise you.”
“Yeah well good luck with that, because I am sure as shit not making it out of the house today.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake Theo, man up. It’s a hangover. You’ve been having them several times a week, every week since you were sixteen, you should be used to it by now.” I can almost see him rolling his eyes. I am definitely the black sheep of our family.
“How do you know I’m not just ill?” I ask indignantly.
“Because this is you we’re talking about. You’re always hung over.”
“Fuck you.” I grumble against the work top.
“I’m staying at The Ritz. Join me for breakfast in half an hour.” He says in a way that leaves no room for argument. My brother is just like me, but older, more serious and a little scary sometimes.
“Seriously, you want me to have breakfast at The Ritz in this state.”
“Man up, you fucking pussy.” Then he hangs up. Ugh, did I mention I don’t get on with my brother all that well. Cat always says it’s too much Ellis male testosterone in one room. I think he’s just a dick.
I walk into The Ritz wearing jeans, a t-shirt and my Ray Ban’s. My head is still pounding and the light is making my eyes throb. People take note of my under dressed state, but I couldn’t give a fuck. There’s not a single guy in here without a tie on. Personally I find this shit pretentious. I mean really, The Ritz? My brother always was one for prissy hotels, flash cars and big houses. Don’t get me wrong, I’m hardly slumming it, but it’s not like I have ten super cars on my drive or a mansion. The house I live in was my grandmother’s, which I love, hence I live there. Will lives in an enormous pent house in the middle of Paris. Not my thing at all.
So now I’m at The Ritz, having to endure this shower of shit, when I have a perfectly good office where I could ride out my hangover in peace, or even better, my sofa. But no, I have to show my hung over to fuck face in public.
My brother is seated at a table near the window. The table is laid out with tea, coffee and some croissants. Seriously, croissants? Kill me now.
“Ah, Theo. Finally decided to join me?” He smiles and claps his hand on my shoulder. “Rough night was it?”
“Something like that.” I mumble. Will smirks in that easy way of his. He used to be every bit as bad as I am, and truthfully, my bad boy reputation started as one of the two Ellis brothers. The press loved us even more than they love me and Hugo. Of course then Will got married, moved to Paris and became a boring fuck. My brother’s an easy going kind of guy, but he’s a scary bastard when things don’t go his way. He’s a monster, at least six and a half feet, and built like a rugby player. He’s two years older than me, but he’s greying already, making him look older still. We don’t look alike. He has grey eyes and hair a shade lighter than mine. I’m the younger, better looking one, and I remind him of this at every available opportunity.
“Would you like to order sir?” A waiter asks me.
“Can you bring me a scotch?” I ask. This is definitely a hair of the dog job. Nothing else for it.
“Certainly sir.” The staff here know better than to question a customer. If I want a five hundred pound glass of scotch at nine thirty in the morning, then that is what I’ll get.
Will raises his eyebrows. “That bad?”
“That bad.” I nod. I take my sunglasses off, despite the bright light of the window.
“I guess I should be honoured you even turned up at all, even if it was an hour late.”
“Yeah, you should be.” I grumble. “Anyway. I’m here now so you can stop bitching.” My head is pounding and I have to rest it on my hands for a second whilst the room stops spinning.
“Would you like a croissant? It might make you feel better.” He smiles. I narrow my eyes at him.
“No, I do not want a bloody croissant.” He is far too smug about this situation right now.
He shrugs. “Okay. So from the article I saw spread all over my morning paper, I’m assuming this…” He points to me.”…is about a woman.”
“Isn’t it always?” I smile humourlessly at him. “What article?” I frown.
“Oh, something about a solicitor, and a pregnant woman. There was a picture of you pinning some red head up against a car. She’s hot.” He shrugs. “It was only a matter of time before you got some poor girl knocked up.”
“Fucking vermin.” I mumble. I hate the press. They’re all pricks.
The waiter brings me my scotch, which I down. I shudder. God, that shit is nasty. My stomach rebels against the alcohol. Keep it down, keep it down. In ten minutes, this will sort me right out. If I don’t throw up beforehand that is.
He shakes his head as he chuckles. “You’re a crazy bastard.”
I shrug. “I’ll take that.”
“So, is it true? You get some girl knocked up?” His face is serious, and I start to suspect that he didn’t just read this today.
I sigh. He knows the whole story, he always does. He’s just stringing me along. “Why are you here Will?”
He pauses for a moment and looks across the room. “I’m concerned.”
I snort. “If you’re concerned about me then don’t bother.”
He rolls his eyes. “If you want to get trashed, knock up half of London and catch every STD under the sun I couldn’t give two fucks. What concerns me is that you’re doing it for all to see. It looks bad on the company.”
Typical of my brother, it’s all about the company. “The press always portray me as the bad boy. It hasn’t damaged the company so far.” My headache is starting to slowly recede. “And you’re not exactly one to talk. You were just as bad until you got that ball and chain clapped around your ankle.” He scowls at me. He hates me referring to Dulcie as a ball and chain. She’s actually lovely, but my brother has turned into a completely different person since meeting her. Maybe that’s what love does to you. It definitely changed me, it also destroying me.
He leans forward and meets my eyes. “It didn’t hurt the company when we burst onto the scene as fresh faced business wonder boys. They loved that we were young, exciting, different, something the London business world hadn’t seen.” He takes a sip of his tea. “Now, we’re older. Clients expect professionalism from us. Before long you’re going to be thirty, still drinking and fucking everything with a pulse. If you want to continue to be taken seriously you need to evolve Theo. Everyone has to grow up at some point. I did.” I stare at the empty scotch glass in front of me. I really hate taking shit off my brother. “Cat tells me you were really serious with someone.” He probes.
I huff a laugh. “Despite your opinion of me, it would seem that I am capable of that, yes.” I frown down at my hands. In his eyes I’m just his joke of a kid brother. I don’t want to admit what a joke I really am. That I had unknowingly fucked Lilly over before we even started. I’ve never felt like a failure before. Everything I’ve touched has always turned to gold, but it seems so trivial in the light of this one failure. Somehow to fail this is to fail everything. “It doesn’t m
atter now, it’s over anyway.” Fucking hell. I need another glass of scotch. I summon a waiter and order scotch, but Will quickly changes it to a coffee. I can’t even be bothered to fight with him. My mind zones out as the ice cold grip of pain starts to wind its way around my heart again.
“Hey.” Will says quietly. I look up at him. He watches me for a moment. “You’re really cut up over this.” He sounds shocked. “I thought it was the pregnant chick that has you on the ropes.”
I laugh humourlessly. “No. I don’t even fucking know what to do about that shit.” I sigh and let my head fall back to look up at the ceiling, the gold chandelier that hangs above us proves a good distraction from my desperately over worked mind. I look back at him.
“So, what will fix this?” He asks.
“Fuck if I know.” I laugh. “I have a crazy bitch who I don’t even remember having sex with trying to make me claim her child. I don’t even know if it’s mine. Then I have Lilly, the red head.” He raises his eyebrows. “She wants nothing to do with me since she found out about all of it.”
“So you cheated on her and got another woman knocked up?” He sighs, as though this sort of thing is to be expected of me.
“No! I didn’t cheat on her. I wouldn’t do that to her. It’s complicated. We weren’t together at the time.”
He watches me carefully, a small frown on his face. “You’re not usually one to get hung up on a woman.” He speculates.
I exhale slowly. “No, but she was… is ‘the’ woman.” I’m surprised by my own honesty. God, soon enough I’ll be one of those pussy whipped little bitches that every guy just feels sorry for.
He shakes his head. “Never thought I’d see the day.” He smiles a little.
“Me and you both. I’ll tell you this much though, this shit cannot possibly be worth it.”
He smiles knowingly and lifts his hand, flashing his gold wedding ring. “Oh but it is little brother. When you have it, it’s worth everything. Trust me. If she’s it for you then fight for her, don’t just let her go. Life’s too short for regrets.”
I huff a laugh. “You don’t understand, with this girl it’s not a fight, it’s a fucking war.”
He smirks. “Love is a war bro, you’ve just got to wait her out, besiege and conquer. Trust me on this. If you let her walk you will regret it.”
For once, my dickhead brother is right. I’ve been hanging around, drinking myself stupid because she’s gone. I see her once, get rejected…what else did I expect? And now I’m turning tail and letting her run. I didn’t take no for an answer the first time, so why am I taking it now? Let her run or hang the fuck on. She may have won round one, but I will fucking win. I just have to work out how to get her back, because the alternative involves a shit tonne of depression and booze.
I can do this. I can do determined. I can do fighting. I can do the impossible. What I cannot do is just lay down and let her go without a fight. It’s selfish of me. The selfless, decent thing to do would be to let her go, but I just can’t. She belongs with me. She’s mine. My feelings for her have never been rational, even from day one.
“Now, what are we going to do about this pregnant girl?” He asks seriously.
That is a good question. I haven’t got a clue.
Chapter Four
Lilly
It’s been a week since I saw Theo at the court house. Although I haven’t seen him in person, he sent me flowers at the beginning of the week, which I promptly threw in the bin in a rage. The card he sent read: Love is a war, so suit up sugar, because I’m coming for you. X
It made me smile for a moment, a very brief moment, because it’s so damn cheesy. Then said rage ensued. I’m a mess right now and I don’t know what to do. Part of me is so angry at him, so hurt by him, that I just want him to leave me alone so I can go on with my life and pretend he never happened. The other part misses him so much, and longs for him. That part wants him to fight, because if he gives up on me then I’ll be forever lost without him. That part has clearly forgotten that he got another woman knocked up. It’s messed up, and I don’t know whether I’m coming or going half the time. I’m fighting my own emotions and it’s exhausting. If this is what love does to you then fuck love. I’m losing sight of rational thought, but then rational thought has never really been a factor when it comes to Theo.
My sole focus and my salvation now is my work.
It’s eight thirty in the morning and I’m sat at my desk typing up a contract when Mr Simmons walks in. He never comes down here, let alone this early. If he wants to see someone they go to him.
“Josh isn’t here yet.” I smile politely.
“I actually came to see you Miss Parker.” He sits in the chair opposite my small desk.
“What can I do for you Mr. Simmons?”
He folds his hands in his lap. “Well, it’s actually what I can do for you.” He flashes me a warm smile. “I’m promoting you Miss Parker.”
“I…but I’m just an intern.” I stammer.
“An intern who has impressed me. I’ve had nothing but glowing reports about you from some of our best clients.” He smiles and my stomach bottoms out. Ellis. I don’t want any promotion that he helped me achieve. I want nothing from him. He stands up. “See HR about the position change. You’ll move offices, oh and Miss Parker?” I meet his eyes. “You’ll be meeting with your first client this afternoon. Conference room at two.” Fuck, this afternoon? “I’ll be there to supervise, so don’t panic.” He smiles wryly before leaving the room.
A promotion. Just like that. Shit, this has got Theo’s name all over it. I’ve been here five months. I’ve only been back a week, and my sudden two weeks leave for a ‘family emergency’, namely my own impending mental breakdown, can’t have gone down too well. I’m hardly promotion material right now, but I know that Simmons will do anything to keep Theo happy. Do I take it? I need to decide soon either way. Am I ready for this? Hell yes I am. Since I’ve been back, I’ve been going balls to the wall. I’ve thrown myself into my work as the perfect distraction to all the shit going on. What with an ex-boyfriend who can’t keep it his pants to save his life, not to mention has creepy stalking tendencies, and a rapist being convicted, I need it. Where my personal life may be suffering, my work life is great. I’ve been on fire this week, spotting loopholes and finding exclusions that Josh hasn’t and helping to solve some of his most difficult cases. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. Maybe Josh put me forward for this. I need to talk to him.
Once I’ve drunk enough coffee to get a drug addict high, I bite the bullet and go down to HR. I figure why look a gift horse in the mouth? Even if this was Theo’s doing, he owes me, and I’m ready for this. He may have got me the promotion, but it will be my own work that ensures I earn it. I sign a new contract…with double pay. I think me and Prada may be spending some more time together.
I don’t see Josh for the rest of the day. I know he’s in back to back meetings, so really I didn’t expect to see him in here anyway. I shoot George, Molly and Harry texts saying I got a promotion and am no longer an intern. George is the first to text me back: Yeah bitch! My girl is working it. You, me and a big arse bottle of wine are due a celebratory date. Tonight. Wear something sexy for me. Oh, and you’re buying the wine. Ha! Xxx. I smile. Just as I’m about to put my phone in my bag it starts ringing. Theo’s name flashes up on the screen. I check the clock on the wall. Twelve thirty, right on time. He’s been calling me five times a day religiously for the last week, and five times a day I hit reject. He never leaves a message, just calls again a few hours later, like clockwork. For once though I actually have something to say to him.
I hit the green button and answer it. “Did you have something to do with this?” I snap.
“Lilly, you answered.” He says.
“Clearly, now answer my question?”
“To what are you referring?” He sounds genuinely confused.
“Have you been speaking to Simmons?” I bark.
“N
ot really. Why?”
I huff. Do I tell him? “I got a promotion. I assumed you had something to do with it. Tell me the truth. Did you?”
“Congratulations. No, I didn’t have anything to do with it. You know you should have a little more faith in yourself. You’re a very good solicitor Lilly.” The bitchy hateful part of me refuses to acknowledge any compliments from him.
“Fine. I just wanted to know. Oh, and don’t take this brief lapse in radio silence as a gesture. Stop calling me, you reek of desperation.” He laughs and I hang up, my heart still beating hard at that deep throaty sound.
I spend my lunch break looking over the file for this new client, whilst eating my staple diet of Haribo. The case is an easy one; Company take-over. Piece of cake. I study the details and spend an hour researching everything there is to know about the company before I formulate a plan of attack.
At two o’clock Simmons enters the conference room accompanied by who I assume from my earlier reading is James Hardy, my new client. I push aside my nerves as Simmons turns his attention and smiles at me.
“Miss Parker, this is Mr. Hardy.” I look up at James Hardy, way up. He has to be at least six five. He’s maybe in his late thirties or early forties. His dark hair is greying slightly. He’s built, but not ridiculously so. He has a perfect poster smile, all gleaming white and ruler straight teeth. What gets me though, what makes me like him instantly is his eyes; bright and aware, surrounded with laughter lines. He has an easy going demeanour about him. No doubt about it…he’s attractive in that worldly older man kind of way.
“Miss Parker. Call me James. I’ve heard great things.” He smiles warmly.
