by LP Lovell
I’m not even sure I can let her go, because it means accepting that at some point she will find a guy who is enough for her. The thought makes my chest clench. I can’t picture a time when I will ever be able to watch her be with someone else. Maybe I should just get away from London for a while. Maybe…
My phone rings. Cassie. Fucking hell. Really? I hit reject. That’s just more shit I can’t deal with. I can’t even look at her. She comes to the house and I don’t answer the door. She calls my phone and I don’t pick up. I know I’m burying my head in the sand, but really, a baby!? What kind of woman has a one night stand with a guy like me and then keeps the baby. Do I look like father material? Because seriously I am about as far from the ideal role model as it gets. Poor fucker doesn’t stand a chance. Maybe this is karma coming back to bite me for all the tequila I’ve drunk and women I’ve fucked. In fact I blame tequila for this entire situation.
Then, as if my day couldn’t get any worse, the bitch just walked into my office.
I sigh. “Are you fucking serious? I didn’t want to speak to you, and I sure as shit don’t want to see you. Who let you in here?” I glare at her.
She has long blonde hair and green eyes that are a mere imitation of Lilly’s. She could be pretty I think. I’m not the best judge, seeing as she ruined my fucking life.
“I’ve given you plenty of opportunity to speak to me. You could call.” She waves her phone at me. “You have to talk to me at some point.” She sits in the chair opposite the desk.
“Take a seat why don’t you?” I grumble. I don’t want to have to deal with this shit. Fucking hell.
“You know you don’t have to be a complete arsehole about it.” She says as she stares at her hands awkwardly.
I laugh before I turn what I know is an intimidating glare on her. “You’re the arsehole here. You have a one night stand with me, which by the way I can’t even remember, that’s how drunk I was…in fact, it could probably be classified as rape.” Her eyebrows are pulled together as she looks up at me. “Then, you get knocked up and think….I know, I’ll keep it. Who does that!? You’re fucking crazy.” I need to rein it in, but fucking hell, of all the times to corner me. I’m in the worst mood imaginable. I’m sexually frustrated, I haven’t had a drink today, and I’ve had to come into the office to sort out a load of shit at work. Not to mention I had my fucking heart ripped out. Ninety percent of these problems are due to the woman sat in front of me. Really not a good time.
“It’s still a baby, regardless of how it was brought into this world.” She says quietly. “It’s your child Theo, you could at least acknowledge it.” Her bottom lip trembles and tears fill her eyes. Great, just fucking great.
“Fuck me, are you delusional!?” I shout. “What did you think, that I’d play happy families with you?” I laugh.
“I thought you’d be mature about it. It’s not an ideal situation for me either.” Tears spill down her cheeks as she looks at her hands. I should probably feel bad about the fact that she’s crying. I don’t. I’m a heartless bastard.
I stand and lean over the desk. “Well then get rid of it!” I roar. I turn and walk to the windows, taking deep breaths. I do not have the patience for this shit.
“I can’t.” She says quietly. “It’s a baby.” Oh fucking hell, shoot me now. I get that some women feel this way, but surely if that’s how you feel, you make sure you are using contraceptive. There is no fucking excuse. Yes, I should have bagged it up, but in the state I was in, I was just as likely to put it on my fucking head as my dick. Christ. I don’t even remember it, and trust me…no matter how drunk a guy gets, he always remembers getting some. Me and my cock need a serious conversation as to how it managed to get hard after that much tequila.
“It is not a baby, it is a…” I search for the words, but I really don’t want to have to talk about this. “…a thing. Just get rid of it.”
“It is a life, and I will not be a murderer!” She snaps.
“How much money do you want?” I ask.
“What?”
I turn back around to look at her. “Money. How much do you want? I thought my people had already spoken to you about this.”
Her face goes bright red. “I don’t want your money.”
I smirk. “Sweetheart, there’s only one reason a chick gets knocked up with a millionaire. I sure as shit am not going to make daddy of the year, so how much?”
“I don’t want your money. I just want you to be a father to your child.” She won’t look at me, and it just pisses me off, I don’t know why, most people won’t look directly at me. She’s hardly alone in that, and I am seriously angry to boot.
I laugh humourlessly. “You have ruined my life. Lilly, that girl you so kindly involved in this shit storm, she was the whole shebang, the girl you marry and have kids with. Well she walked. So I’ll be blunt with you Cassie, no I do not fucking want a baby with you.” I drag my hands through my hair. Holy shit did I actually just say I would marry and have kids with Lilly?
“You owe it to this child to let her go.” She says almost frantically. “Give us a chance. I could make you happy.” Her eyes search mine. This bitch is a whole can of crazy.
“Did you not hear anything I just said? Fucking hell, I’d rather go celibate than fuck you again.” I say sternly. “Now seriously name your price, and before you turn me down again I suggest you think through your options carefully. You can keep that baby and bring it up on your own, or you can take the money, go and meet a guy who actually wants to have kids with you, and live happily and wealthily ever after. There really is only one intelligent option here.” I would never leave my kid out there in the world, but I’m calling her bluff.
It may seem harsh, but the way I see it is at this stage it’s just a ball of cells. Yes, I Googled it. A termination is akin to a miscarriage. If she has that baby, it will be born to parents who hate each other. She’s hardly the ideal mother candidate. I had my people run a background search on her, more for leverage purposes than anything else. Turns out she’s a former drug addict and a stripper. As for me…well, I don’t think that needs to be said.
At this stage, she’s pregnant and that’s a problem that can be solved. If she has the baby and it proves to be mine then it’s a whole different ball game. It’s no longer a problem. It’s my child. I will take custody of it. I may not be the ideal father, but I take care of what’s mine. She doesn’t stand a chance against my solicitors. They will dig up every sordid detail about her and present it to the court. Of course I don’t exactly have a stellar reputation, but I do have money, and have never had a history of drug abuse.
My mother never wanted me. I would never want any child of mine to feel that kind of pain. I know I’ll be a crap father, but what else can I do? It’s times like this when I really wish that Lilly were in this with me. I could do with some of that fierce strength of hers. It’s a ridiculous fantasy though.
I can’t tell what Cassie’s motives are yet. If she’s after money then she would take the deal. My people have offered her five million. People would do a lot worse for that kind of money. She may just genuinely want that baby, but if that’s the case then why me? I’m not stupid enough to think that our one night stand was just by chance, that she had no idea who I am. If she does just want the baby though, then my threatening to take custody may just make her run. I can’t risk it.
For now though, I need her to think she’ll be alone in this. I’m pushing for an abortion if possible.
“You disgust me!” She says as tears stream down her face. I’ve heard worse.
I step closer to her, determined to drive my point home. I lock my eyes on hers. “I always get what I want Cassie, and right now, you are standing in the way of what I want. I suggest you fucking move. I do not want you, and I do not want that baby.” Then I decide to be a real bastard. “Think of the child. It’s going to grow up with a father that doesn’t want it, and a slut for a mother, all because you’re a deluded crazy bitch
. Wake the fuck up Cassie and do the right thing.” I growl.
Her lip starts to tremble again. She stands and storms out of my office without a word.
That woman is insane, and I’m having a child with her. Great.
I know I’m a bastard, and I know I’m being an arsehole about this. I do not want a baby with her, if that makes me a dick then so be it. From what I’ve seen of her and read up on her, she’s not stable enough for this. Perhaps that means I should be helping her through it, but honestly, she’s bringing it on herself. If she wants it, she can deal with it. I don’t have it in me to deal with this crap right now. I always said that if I ever had kids I would give them the world, be the best father I could be. I will stand by that if she forces me into it. Is it so bad that I want to want a child? I feel like she’s robbing me of something that I should be sharing with someone else. Lilly, my mind whispers. I shut it down quickly. No longer an option. The fact is, my firstborn child should not be with an ex-stripper I banged in a club toilet. That just about sums up my life right now.
My phone rings again. Jesus, it’s non-stop today.
“Ellis.” I answer.
“Hey, so your opposition on the Wyatt deal is James Hardy.” Will says.
I laugh. “Why the fuck is that shit trying to buy out Wyatt?”
“Who knows? I trust you’ve got this.”
I laugh. “Yeah, I got this.” I hang up.
James Hardy. He doesn’t stand a chance of beating me, he has half my resources at best, not to mention I have an in with Wyatt. What irritates me though is that he’s using Lilly as legal representation. Why? He’s not a client of the firm. The guy has a reputation. He has two kids, but continues to fuck his secretary behind his wife’s back, hell she might even know. His reputation is infamous, and I don’t want him anywhere near Lilly.
Looks like Mr Hardy and I are going to be having words.
Chapter Eight
Lilly
I’m manic today, I’ve got a tonne of paperwork to do. Sadly it’s not all huge deals and throwing around money. I received an email from Simmons telling me that we are going to have to drop Hardy as a client on the Wyatt deal, but I am to try and retain him as a future client at all costs. Great, no fucking pressure.
I’m at my desk working through my paper mountain when Ola from reception calls me. “Lilly you have a visitor. She’s in reception.”
“Thanks. I’ll be right through.” I have no scheduled visits today, so I have no clue who it is.
You can imagine my surprise when I turn the corner and see none other than Theo’s one night stand, and mother of his child sitting in reception.
“Can I help you?” I ask her through gritted teeth. The last thing I want to deal with right now is Theo’s one nighter.
“Can we talk?” She asks sheepishly. I should tell her to go fuck herself, but I don’t. I’m curious.
I sigh. “Follow me.” I lead her through to one of the conference rooms. She follows me into the room and I close the door behind her.
She stands with her back to me for a long time before she finally turns around. She looks nervous. She assesses me before finally speaking. “I know you probably hate me.” She mumbles.
I raise an eyebrow at her. “I don’t hate you. I don’t know you.” I say bluntly.
She stares at the floor as she fiddles with the strap of her handbag. “I’m sorry about what happened.”
“I really see no need for you to be sorry either. You met a guy at a club and you fucked him. You don’t owe me an apology.”
She takes a deep breath and meets my eyes. “I just, I know it must be hard on you with this.” She gestures toward her stomach. She has no idea, but I’m not about to let on to her, of all people.
“Cassie, I’m just going to make something clear for you. I broke up with Theo. I broke up with him because I’m not prepared to stick around and play step mummy. He didn’t cheat on me with you. Had we been together at the time, it never would have happened. I can assure you of that.” I conjure some strength and feign nonchalance. “Theo is just a guy, there are plenty more of them.” She raises her eyebrows, clearly shocked. “So tell me, why are you here?”
“Um, well.” She stammers. “Theo won’t talk to me.” Tears start to streak down her face. Oh god, I cannot deal with a crying pregnant woman. “He hates me. He said I should get rid of my baby.” Perhaps he should have thought of that before going in bareback. “I don’t know what to do.” She shakes her head.
“And as sad as this is...” I don’t actually give a shit. “How does this affect me?”
She pauses for a moment, looking unsure of herself. “Please talk to him. He listens to you. I don’t want anything from him, but I don’t want my child to be left without a father. I know what it’s like not to have parents.” Her eyes meet mine, glassy with tears and begging me to help her. There’s something amiss with her, but I can’t put my finger on it.
“Cassie, you cannot expect to have a one night stand with a guy, get pregnant, and him be happy about it. That is not how it works.”
“He has a responsibility to his child.” She snaps. For the first time I see a bit of spunk in the pathetic little wall flower.
“No, he doesn’t.” I sigh. “You really don’t get it do you? If you have that baby, you need to be prepared to have it on your own. He has no responsibility to it, because he chooses not to. He’s a man, and men can walk away. Benefits of the job.” I pause and watch her stricken face. “Look, this shit is between you two. I left because of this. Do you really think I’m going to tell him to play daddy?” I lift an eyebrow.
“He…he loves you.” I see the hurt on her face as she says it, there’s an unmistakeable longing in her features. Holy shit, is she in love with Theo? “He’d do anything you ask. Please.” She whispers.
“You’re in love with him.” I say quietly.
“I…No.” She stammers.
“How can you be in love with him? You fucked him in a toilet cubicle.”
She keeps her eyes down as she gnaws on her bottom lip. “We had one night together a few months ago. I thought…I thought he cared about me.”
I huff a laugh. “Let me guess, he told you all the right things, fucked you seven ways to Sunday and then kicked you to the curb.”
Her eyes meet mine. “I thought we had a connection.” Her eyes study my body. “I’ll never compare to you though, you’re beautiful.” She says sadly.
“Seriously, walk away Cassie while you still can. He is not a man to fall in love with, trust me on this.” I say quietly. For some strange reason I feel for her, because although our situations aren’t the same, I know what it feels like to be in love with Theodore Ellis. It’s painful. I also happen to agree with her. He should be taking responsibility for that child.
She turns to leave but pauses at the door. “Please just speak to him.” She begs. There’s a desperation in her voice close to panic.
“Tell me something. Why do you want that baby so badly? I mean, most women in your situation wouldn’t keep it.”
She turns to face me, her pale green eyes meeting mine. “There’s no ulterior motive if that’s what you mean. It’s simple; I want a baby. I grew up in foster care. I have no family, and no close friends. I’ve always wanted a child, someone to love and who will love me back unconditionally.” A small smile pulls at her lips. I guess I can relate. Of course I’ll never have that.
She may want that child, but I can see from a mile away she’s not strong enough to do this on her own. She wants Theo to be there with her, but she’s living in a fantasy. The part of me that is desperately in love with Theo wants to believe that he will step up, but I’m not really sure. How could I possibly predict how he would act in this situation? We never even spoke about any of this stuff. We weren’t together long enough for that awkward conversation.
She needs to be prepared to go it alone though. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with Cassie. A girl like you is no
match for a man like him. He will break you, he will ruin you, and he will never love you. I don’t say this to be a bitch. I say it because sadly it’s true.” She sniffs back more tears. I sigh. “Look, I don’t like the idea that you have no-one. If you find yourself in need of help, call me, okay?” I hand her my card. “And Cassie, keep this between us. He wouldn’t like it.” I don’t know why I’m helping her, but I can tell by looking at her that the girl is a walking statistic waiting to happen.
She nods and then she’s gone. I feel sorry for her, not because she’s pregnant, but because she’s in love with Theo. That in itself is stupid, but add to the fact that she thinks forcing him to be a father will make him return the feelings…she’s an idiot. She’s also deluded, who falls in love with a guy after one night? Honestly, I will never understand some people.
When I get back to my desk I have several new emails, including an email from James Hardy asking me to call him urgently. Great, what now?
Chapter Nine
Theo
James Hardy owns Capital Enterprises, a company that deals in a variety of things, but mainly supply and distribution for major manufacturers. Truth be told, Wyatt Industries is more his bag than mine, but well, I don’t like losing, ever. So on pure principal I’m going to crush him. I’ve heard through various contacts that he’s already started buying shares. I’m here to let him know who he’s up against and perhaps give him an easy out.
The offices of Capital Enterprises are housed in One Canada Square. Hardy is all about his big statements. I take an elevator up to fortieth floor and step out into a reception area not dissimilar to my own at Ellis Tower.
“Can I help you?” The pretty brunette receptionist asks.
“I need to see Mr. Hardy.” I say curtly.
