by Kay Bea
As for our father, I am quite happy to learn he no longer disparages any of you with his taunts of being the silliest girls in the kingdom. It would seem his illness and the circumstance of my marriage have at last roused him to action. I am sorry; you must not think I blame Papa. I know very well that he was not able to speak on my behalf. His letters reflect his abiding guilt, and I know not how to comfort him.
Though my cousin remains much as he has ever been, I am less often in his company and therefore more often at ease. Please do not think ill of me. Mine is not a happy union, and I must find relief where I can. I have now been attending Miss de Bourgh—Anne—for several months, and I find that I grow more fond of her company with each passing day. Though she is no substitute for my dear sisters, hers is a friendship I have learnt to treasure. Only yesterday, we enjoyed a lovely tour of the park in her little phaeton.
The weather here is turning cool, and the leaves are showing in magnificent glory. As you know, autumn has always been my favourite time of year, and to have a few hours to admire the beauty the season offers was a true delight. I believe you would rather like Anne. She is exceedingly well read and has an abiding love of poetry, particularly that scoundrel Lord Byron. I had not thought her mother would approve of such reading, but it seems I have once again been mistaken in my sketch of another’s character. I begin to think I should give up the practice entirely. Do not look so smug, sister. I know you have long believed I put entirely too much faith in my own opinions. I fear I shall have to remind you of Mr Warren, and we both know I was only too right where that gentleman was concerned.
At Lady Catherine’s insistence, I have included a small sketch of the meadow where Anne and I stopped for a picnic yesterday while on our tour of the grounds. I must apologise for my amateur skills, but perhaps it is not so terrible that you cannot imagine the beauty of the place.
The day is drawing to a close, and as I must soon return to the parsonage and my cousin, I must say farewell. Please remember me to my sisters and father.
Your affectionate sister,
Elizabeth Collins
November 26, 1812
Pemberley, Derbyshire
Dear Richard,
I can scarce believe it has been only one year since I danced with her at Netherfield. Forgive me; I have attempted to follow your advice and not dwell overmuch on the past, but on this day, I cannot help but think of how different things might have been.
I was enchanted that evening. I can still close my eyes and recall her scent of lavender, contemplate her grace as she danced, and see every expression of her magnificent eyes. They sparkled with merriment as she spoke with her friends, burned with shame when she watched her younger sisters, and flashed with anger when she spoke to me.
Every look spoke of her passion and loyalty, and I was lost. I was terrified and I ran the next day. The day I left was the very day Miss Elizabeth declined Collins’s first proposal. Had I been there, I would like to think I would have declared myself immediately. But, perhaps not. I had not yet learnt to be humble or to consider how I might please a woman worthy of being pleased.
Enough. I shall be maudlin no longer. I can give you no excuse to spend Christmastide torturing me. Georgiana and I shall arrive at Ashford Lodge on December 10. Georgie wishes to have some time with your parents before the arrival of our Kent relations. I have had a letter from Anne; she intends to introduce her mother to Mr Addison whilst we are all together. She has contrived, with the apparent cooperation of your own dear mother, to have Mr Addison and his sister invited for a visit of several days. The Addisons seem to have many friends in the area and, in what I am certain is no coincidence, they will be spending Christmas with a family residing not ten-miles from Ashford. You may wish to bring your sword as it might be required to defend Mr Addison from our aunt. Lady Catherine is an enigma to me. She is very much as she ever was in her fundamental nature: demanding, unyielding, and imperious. Yet, in the matter of Miss Elizabeth, she has been exceedingly useful and has acted with naught but kindness to that lady. It confounds the mind. I shall not question it as I am told that Miss Elizabeth’s general condition is much improved. The relief this news brought to that lady’s father can only be imagined.
’Tis unfortunate your Lady Amelia cannot join the family party. I suspect her father would be more amenable to the arrangements if you would formalise the nature of your understanding. As you have not spoken to either of them of your intentions, you cannot be truly surprised at her family’s reluctance. Perhaps your courage will be found amongst the gifts this year.
Your cousin,
Fitzwilliam Darcy
November 26, 1812
Hunsford Cottage, Kent
Dear Jane,
Was it only one year ago that we danced with our friends at Netherfield? So very much has changed since then. I wonder, if I had not been so hasty to judge Mr Darcy, whether things might have been different. But it is no matter now. I can scarce believe I shall be an aunt in just a short time. You and my brother will make wonderful parents. I do wish Mama would give you some peace. I would suggest you appeal to our father, but after so long a marriage, I do not think he will begin to check her behaviour now.
I was happy to hear from Mary that Lydia is learning to play so well and that Kitty continues to improve in drawing. Indeed, it sounds as though Miss Darcy made quite the impression on our little family in the weeks she was visiting you at Netherfield. Perhaps the newfound peace will have some influence on Mama as well.
Life in Kent continues on rather quietly. Lady Catherine sends her coach daily that I might continue my friendship with Anne. I have been assigned my own rooms at Rosings as there are times when Anne feels she cannot part with me and begs that I remain overnight. Lady Catherine keeps Mr Collins busy with the various needs of the parish. Between his increased responsibilities and my new duties to Anne, it frequently happens that I do not see my husband more than once or twice a week. I find I can well bear the separation.
I confess I dread the coming holiday, for Lady Catherine and Anne will travel to Ashford Lodge for a month complete, and I shall find myself quite desolate without them or my dear family for company. We shall make a very small party, just Mr Collins and myself. Perhaps I should invite some distinguished family of the parish to join us. I shall speak to Lady Catherine first as my cousin will never fail to do her bidding.
Please give my brother and sisters and father my love. As to our mother—and do not think I have ignored your entreaties in this department—I have not yet learnt to forgive her. I do not know that I ever shall. I know you do not approve of that sentiment, but I cannot help myself. Our father was ill, but he was not dying, and she very well knew it. To force me into my present circumstance was unconscionable. Please do not ask me to pardon the woman who has been responsible for ruining all my hopes. I am at last finding some measure of contentment here, but it is not due in any part to that lady.
Wishing you every joy.
Love,
Elizabeth Collins
January 16, 1813
Rosings Park, Kent
Dear Jane,
Congratulations on the birth of your son. I am sure little Charlie will be the most complying child ever known, as well as the most handsome. Truly, I am happy for you. Kitty included a lovely sketch of your little family, and it warms me to see the love radiating from your face. It would seem you were made to be a wife and mother.
Lady Catherine and Anne have returned from their sojourn to Ashford Lodge, and I am glad to be in their company once again. I fear the holidays in Kent were not at all agreeable as I once again found myself the victim of my own lack of caution. It was a painful lesson I am not likely to forget soon.
Mother and daughter were somewhat at odds when they first returned. It seems Anne has a suitor, and it is not her cousin. Lady Catherine, I think, begins to reconcile herself to the probable match. Never before have I heard her speak of anything other than the importance of uniting
Rosings and Pemberley through marriage. Since she has begun to see Anne’s true contentment, however, she has begun to speak more of the importance of felicity in the marriage state. Am I vain to think that perhaps witnessing almost daily the disastrous results of an unequal marriage has softened her heart towards her daughter?
Love,
Elizabeth Collins
January 16, 1813
Rosings Park, Kent
Dear Papa,
I must thank you again and again for the book of sonnets. How very kind of you to send it to me at Rosings rather than Hunsford Cottage. You are too clever by half. I am sorry not to have sent any presents for you or my sisters. It could not be helped. Kitty’s newest sketches of my beloved family enjoy a place of honour in my rooms at Rosings. It is a great comfort to sit in that room surrounded by images of the ones I love whilst I read a book from my excellent father. You do not know the joy you have delivered.
I love you, Papa, and I miss you so very much.
Your affectionate daughter,
Elizabeth Collins
January 27, 1813
Pemberley, Derbyshire
Dear Bingley,
I offer my congratulations on the birth of your son and heir. I am pleased to know Mrs Bingley fared well despite the presence of her mother. It seems you are now more appreciative of the talents of Miss Bennet than you perhaps were during your courtship of her eldest sister. You are correct in your belief that she is due some small token of appreciation, and I shall be more than happy to procure the music you requested.
We passed an eventful holiday at Ashford Lodge. My cousin Anne took the dramatic step of defying her mother and introducing to all our family a young gentleman of her acquaintance. My aunt’s strictures against his person, breeding, and position in society were, fortunately, heard only by Anne and myself. I felt I should thank Anne when it was done for going before me in this matter. When my aunt and cousin removed from Ashford, they were still somewhat at odds; however, I believe my aunt was beginning to reconcile herself to the match. In the days before she departed, she spoke increasingly of the responsibility of a parent to see to the happiness of their offspring above their own comfort. I am positive I heard her mention something about “that senseless and selfish woman in Hertfordshire” being no one to emulate. When I asked for a repetition of her thoughts, my aunt merely sniffed in disdain and walked away.
Georgiana and I shall remain at Pemberley until spring when we visit Kent. We neither of us have any desire to be in town. In defiance of her aunts, but to the joy of myself, Georgiana has declined to have her come out this year. As she is not yet out, and I have no desire to be set upon by every matchmaking matron in the city, we are content to remain in the country.
I shall let you return to your wife and child with my best wishes.
In friendship,
Fitzwilliam Darcy
February 8, 1813
Rosings Park, Kent
Dear Mary,
Our nephew sounds perfectly delightful. How wonderful for you to be able to spend so much time in his company. I am quite certain he does not favour Kitty over you; he is far too young for such things. Perhaps it is only that Kitty—oh, I am sorry, Catherine—spends more of her days at Netherfield than you do at present. I recall that, when Lydia was a baby, she preferred Jane’s company above all because Jane spent hours at a time in the nursery. Of course, Mama put a stop to that the first time Lydia sought Jane’s attentions over those of her mother.
I am sorry to know your copy of Fordyce has been mislaid as I know it has been a most faithful companion these many years. However, as you are the only one to read it, I do not think it likely you will find the book in the possession of any of your sisters. As it is not available for your use at the moment, you might consider selecting a tome from our father’s library. Surely, he is in possession of at least one book that might hold your interest. If you are uncertain where to begin, ask my father for guidance.
Here we are looking forward to spring. The cold winter has kept us too much indoors, and as my cousin has fewer duties to occupy his time in winter, we are rather too much in company with one another. I fear my cousin begins to tire of my daily sojourns to Rosings and will seek to lessen them if he does not find some occupation rather soon. Should that happen, I would dearly miss the company of my friend.
Please write again soon, sister.
With love,
Elizabeth Collins
March 10, 1813
Pemberley, Derbyshire
Dear Bingley,
I, of course, would be happy to assist in your search for an eligible purchase. My only surprise in receiving your request lies in the fact that you have lasted so long at Netherfield. Her pleasant daughters notwithstanding, I am quite certain there are no pleasures of that country that would atone for the frequency of Mrs Bennet’s visits to your home.
If it suits your purposes, I should like to invite you and Mrs Bingley to join us at Pemberley in May. The roads should be passable by then, which will ease our travel between various estates. Georgiana and I are to Kent for some weeks at the end of this month, and I believe my sister will invite our cousin Anne to return with us. Your coming in May will prevent the ladies from growing too bored with one another whilst providing me an ally in a house beset by females.
Georgiana will miss the presence of her friends, but she has eloquently expressed her understanding of their inability to travel at this time. For my part, I suspect you are correct that Mrs Bennet has determined, for reasons only she can divine, it is not to her material advantage to allow her daughters to travel. As they are not to see one another for some time, I expect the volume of mail between Pemberley and Longbourn to become such that it may be in my interest to hire a messenger. Already there have been exchanges of music, drawings, and if I am not highly mistaken, a few volumes from my library. I have lately acquired a well-worn copy of Fordyce’s Sermons, which I am absolutely certain was not my own purchase. I discovered it hidden upon a little-used shelf. Having just read this last to Georgiana, I am required to insist you do not relay the location of the volume in question to any of the Bennet ladies, most particularly not to Miss Bennet. I rather thought she favoured Fordyce, but perhaps I am mistaken.
In friendship,
Fitzwilliam Darcy
March 23, 1813
Hunsford Cottage, Kent
Mama,
I have received your letter. On the subject of Lydia’s desertion, as I have not had the privilege of seeing my family since I married over a year ago, I do not see how I can be rightly blamed. Furthermore, it is my understanding that, rather than abandoning her mother, she is in fact becoming an accomplished young lady under my sister’s watchful eye. This should give you cause to rejoice. Now that she can speak sensibly of something other than fashion and red coats, she will certainly make a better marriage than she ever could have before.
As to that other matter of which you wrote so extensively, I find I must beg you to refrain from offering any further advice on the necessity of providing my cousin with an heir. I cannot imagine how such a private matter is any concern of yours. I assure you, madam, you have done quite enough in regards to my marriage. You would do well to focus your attentions where they are better welcomed than they are here.
Elizabeth Collins
April 1, 1813
Rosings Park, Kent
Dearest Jane,
I am so excited as to scarcely be able to hold my pen. I feel as though I may burst with the effort of containing my pleasure.
I shall keep you in suspense no longer, dear sister. Mr Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam arrived in Kent this week for their annual visit, and they brought with them Miss Darcy. She is indeed the sweetest creature imaginable, and I have delighted in coming to know her. But this is not the only source of my happiness. Miss Darcy invited Anne to come to Pemberley when she departs Kent next week with her brother. Lady Catherine has absolutely insisted that I be allowed to join them
. She is certain Anne cannot bear to be without my company for so long as she was at Christmas. Lady Catherine thought to come as well, but she feels she must stay to ensure my cousin does not neglect his duties to the parish. Instead, she will send along Anne’s companion, Mrs Jenkinson. As you see, there can be no scandal in my accompanying my two dear friends to Derbyshire.
