by M. Clarke
“Oh, sorry. Okay,” she said hesitantly. Ducking under my arm, she stood in front of me.
I had to agree with Olie. Not a good idea. I caged her in with her back pressed against my front. The familiar flowery scent from her hair, her warmth enveloping me, took me to our time as a couple, when we loved each other. Desire coursed through me, and I gravitated toward the want and need of Olie. I needed to touch her...to hold her...to feel every part of her. No! I was still mad at her, I reminded myself. But my body had a mind of its own. The room started to spin, making me dizzy, as I fought the urge to turn her around and kiss her. It was too much.
While I watched her every move, I noticed she had on the bracelet I’d bought for her the past Christmas. The last time I’d seen it was when I accidently dropped her box when I helped her move. Why did she have it on? Women accessorized all the time. Perhaps she’d thought it went well with her outfit?
When Olie finished marking the wall with the pencil, she spun around, another big mistake. Heat fused through me when the small gap between us closed. My hands still held the painting, gripping tightly, trying to fight the feeling brewing inside me. My heart quickened when the softness of her hair brushed the side of my face and her scent spiraled around me, through me, and in me. Slowly, hesitantly, her brown eyes locked on mine, and our eyes made love to each other. My body moved before my mind could tell it to stop. Closer...closer...my lips moved toward hers, and she responded to my lead. What the hell was I doing? What about Kelly? Though she pissed me off the other day, I couldn’t betray her. Kissing Olie would be wrong on all levels.
“You finished?” With much effort, I halted whatever was going on.
“Oh, yes. Thank you.” Olie brushed her silky blonde hair away from her face. Her eyes were somber, and the crazy feelings I had dissolved. Again, something struck me as wrong.
When Olie ducked under my arms, I placed the painting down while she tossed the pencil back on the table. I had no reason to stay, so I got to the point. “Would you like for me to hang the picture?”
She looked over her shoulder. “I’ve got this. It will be piece of cake from here. The hardest part is over. Thank you.”
I nodded with a small grin, letting her know I understood. Since I was there, I might as well share the good news. “I got a message from Matthew Knight. I’ve been selected as Sexiest Man Alive.”
Olie’s sparkling brown eyes lit up and so did her smile. “Oh, Nate. Congratulations.” She jumped into my arms unexpectedly and gave me a kiss on the cheek. That simple kiss shot out an electrifying spark through my core. I hated to admit it, but I wanted more. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to...” She backed away.
I curled my lips halfway, shocked by her kiss. “It’s okay. Thank you.”
“How exciting! This is huge, Nate. You’re going to be famous.” She paused, giving me a smirk. “You’re going to have many girls at your feet, not that you don’t already.”
“Nah,” I said shyly. “You know I don’t act like the playboy type, but I guess I can start.” I chuckled, but Olie gave me no expression. I guessed she didn’t like my comment.
“I guess Kelly will have to find a way to tame her jealousy.” She shook her head disapprovingly and then changed the subject. “Did you want something to drink?” Olie headed toward the kitchen.
I looked at my watch and followed her. Kelly had texted me earlier and asked if we could talk at her apartment, so I needed to get to the root of why Olie had asked to see me in the first place. And I knew it wasn’t for that damn painting. Olie took out two bottles of water and tried to hand one to me.
“No, thank you. I have to get going. I have one question before I go. Why did you ask me to come over?”
Olie cocked her head, leaning her back against the counter, holding a water bottle in her hand. “What do you mean? I’ve already told you.”
I stood my ground and took a step toward her. “You’re lying. You said you needed to talk to me, so here I am. What’s so urgent that you couldn’t wait till later?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” She crossed her arms and pressed her lips together.
“Does this have something to do with Kelly?” I rubbed the back of my neck in agitation.
Olie glared. “Why would you think that?”
“Okay,” I softened my tone. “Does this have anything to do with our shoots?”
“No,” she protested. “I...won’t ask you to come over again to help me with anything. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
“It’s not.” My voice rose, but I found a way to calm down. Knowing she had something to tell me but wouldn’t was beyond frustrating. And making it seem like I’d made it up sure looked like she was toying with me. “We said we would try to be friends, right? Try to be professional.”
“Right.” She nodded.
“And friends help each other. I don’t mind helping, but what I do mind is you lying to me.”
“Nate.” She let out a breath. I waited for her to say something real, but instead she placed the water bottle on the counter and walked right past me to the front door. She opened it. Looking squarely in my eyes, she said sweetly, “Thank you for coming. I appreciate that you took your time away from Kelly to help me. I hope you’re going to let her know so if I slip up, she won’t go crazy on me. I know you have to go, so that’s why I’m rushing you out the door.”
If she had used any other tone, I would have been upset, but I couldn’t when she smiled at me. Damn, she was good. I knew in my gut that she wanted to tell me something, but whatever the reason, I had to respect it until she was ready. Obviously she wanted to tell me yesterday, or she wouldn’t have sent the text. What changed her mind?
“Fine,” I said softly, piercing my eyes at her. “Just so you know. I don’t believe you. If you don’t trust me enough to tell me, then there’s nothing I can do about it.” I turned to leave, and then she spoke again.
“Nate...” she said somberly, her eyes tearing up a bit. “Kelly isn’t going to like us being friends. She has every right not to. You know as well as I do we can never truly be friends. I want you in my life, but I don’t think that’s going to work. We’re two people who fell in love at the wrong time. We weren’t meant to be.”
I didn’t know what had possessed me, but I embraced her, and my heart sank. We’re two people who fell in love at the wrong time. We weren’t meant to be.
My arms around her felt so right, like they belonged there. “Don’t worry about Kelly.” My words choked me. “If you really want us to be friends, then we can try.”
She tried to hide the tear that streaked down her face, but I saw it. Pain ripped through me at the sight of her like this. What was she trying to tell me? But I understood her, and she was right. We could never truly be friends, though I’d denied it to make her feel better. Maybe when we both had someone special in our lives we could finally move on, but right then, it was too difficult. Friends didn’t have feelings like I did when I helped her hang the painting. And though I told myself otherwise, having Olie around didn’t help my relationship with Kelly. I was stuck in two different worlds.
“Maybe we need space between us.” She sniffed, resting her face on my shoulder.
I sighed, feeling her body move with the heave of my chest. “Maybe you’re right, Olie,” I said wearily, an ache growing inside me.
With a heavy heart, and not having anything else to say, I released her and walked out. I had the urge to look behind my shoulder to see if she was still there, but I didn’t succumb. If she’d told me she wanted me back, a part of me might have considered, but the other part of me screamed what the hell are you doing? What about Kelly? Olie and I needed to stay away from each other so we could move on, but our job made it difficult. I was totally screwed.
Chapter 3
Olivia
Gut-wrenching pain ripped through my heart as I watched Nate walk out the door. And tears that threatened to fall while Nate hugged me came crashing through. I coul
dn’t wipe them away fast enough. He was gone...gone...gone. Every step he took away from me twisted like a dagger in my heart. I had lost my chance.
I wanted to call out for him and tell him I wanted him back. Those words screamed in my head but never passed my lips. I’d lost him again. Feeling his arms around me gave me comfort, and all the wonderful feelings Nate used to make me feel came crashing through, but they weren’t mine to take anymore. Those feelings belonged to Kelly, and it tore me to pieces.
I could have sworn he’d leaned down to kiss me when he was holding up the painting, or maybe my imagination hoped he would. We stood so close the smell of his familiar cologne dizzied me. The scent brought me back to the good old times.
When I closed the door, I realized I still had on the bracelet Nate had given me. Oh crap! Had he seen it? What would he think? He didn’t say anything about it, so maybe he didn’t care, assuming he’d seen it. Some guys were unobservant, but not Nate. He paid attention to details or had when we dated.
Telling him I needed his help to hang the painting was lame, but that was all I could come up with. My courage to tell Nate how I felt went down the drain when Troy threatened not just me but Nate as well.
With the shock of Troy showing up, and then having to meet up with Nate right after, I didn’t know how to handle myself. Two versions of myself played a tug-of-war with my feelings. One said, “The hell with Troy.” The other one said, “Protect Nate’s and my future.”
On some level, Nate still cared about me. If we had the time to heal the wounds and spend time together, we could make it work. But did he want to? He hadn’t cut off all ties with me yet, which told me he and Kelly hadn’t moved to the next level of the relationship. It was selfish of me to try to break them up, but Nate was mine. And without a doubt I wanted him back, but...Troy. I had to deal with him first.
My stomach reminded me it was lunch time when I finally gathered myself together, but instead of eating, I texted Isla. I needed to get all those emotions out of my system, or I would do something crazy.
Me: It didn’t go so well.
Isla: What happened? I’m so sorry.
Me: It’s okay.
I wanted to tell her about Troy, but not through a text.
Isla: Want me to come over?
Me: No, it’s okay.
I didn’t want to bother her. She had her own busy schedule with her brother’s family.
Isla: Come out to dinner with me.
I really wanted to climb under the covers and sulk, but I didn’t want to be home alone on a Saturday night. Having some company might do some good. Since I didn’t text Mom not to come home yet, she might be on her way shortly after lunch. She would want to console me.
Me: Okay.
Isla: Perfect. I’ll text you the time and place. You’re okay with Josh joining us?
Me: Sure.
Isla: Perfect. See you then.
Texting Isla felt almost the same as sulking. I felt well enough to eat some leftovers to fill my stomach a bit. Forcing myself to eat was probably the worst idea, but I needed to take care of me too. Getting sick would wreck my schedule, especially with a shoot scheduled on Monday. Feeling mentally exhausted, I closed my eyes. Not a good idea. My mind reeled with thoughts of Nate kissing and holding Kelly in his arms, and worse, Oh God...stop thinking...stop thinking...stop visualizing the two of them fucking. Just stop thinking! The pain deepened, an ice pick stabbing my heart again and again. And then I imagined what should’ve happened. What could’ve happened if I’d told him I wanted him back. I’d be the one in his arms, and we’d be making love. The torment was too much to bear.
I realized I’d dozed off when I woke up feeling dazed and heard Mom’s and Charlene’s voices outside my bedroom door. Looking at my cell, I read Isla’s text—the time and location of our dinner plans—and then I scowled at Troy’s text.
Troy: See you soon.
What the hell did he mean? We’d made no plans, not that I would with him, but then I remembered his threat. I’ll ruin him. He’ll never work a day in his life. And if you don’t cooperate with me, Olivia, I’ll ruin you. I wanted to talk to Isla about him and be sensitive to the issue. He would not only ruin my career, but he had threatened Nate’s as well...even though Nate and I weren’t dating. It didn’t matter. Troy was crazy. Who knew what he would do out of jealousy? I couldn’t let anything happen to Nate. After taking a moment to gather myself, I walked out. Charlene and Mom sat on the sofa drinking tea, staring at me as if I were some kind of novelty creature.
“Olivia.” Charlene’s green eyes popped open. She placed her mug down on the coffee table.
“Sweetheart.” Mom held her mug halfway to her lips.
“I didn’t know you were here.” Charlene continued. “I thought you’d gone out with Nathan.” She paused. “So, how did it go?”
I shook my head, pressing my lips together. “It didn’t go as I’d hoped.” A lie, but I had no choice. I couldn’t tell them about Troy and his threats. It would devastate my mom.
Mom placed her mug down on the table and embraced me. “Oh, sweetheart.” She pulled away to speak, resting her hands on my arms. “I’m so sorry. We hoped things went well for you and Nate. What did he say? Was it because of the girl he’s dating?”
I nodded. In a way it was the truth. “That’s okay. He’s not the one for me.” I tried to reassure her I’d be fine. I needed to hear those words as well. If I kept telling myself that, I would actually believe it and eventually move on.
Mom guided me to the sofa, gesturing me to sit next to her. “You’re right. If he didn’t want you back, then he’s not the one.”
Charlene took a sip, exhaled a long breath, and squinted, assessing me. “I think he’s just toying with you. You hurt him, so now he wants you to feel what he felt when you left him.”
Mom arched her brows. “How can you say that? I take that back. How do you know? You can’t read his mind, Charlene.” Mom chuckled lightly, finding humor in Charlene’s words. “And if what you’re saying is true, he’s acting immature. I don’t think Nathan is that type.”
Charlene slowly curled her lips into a smirk. “If only you’d seen what I saw. I can tell by the way he looked at Olivia. He’s hurt, but he still loves her. He wouldn’t have come around, especially when he’s dating the other woman.” She paused, staring at the ceiling. “I bet he’s trying to get over Olivia by dating this woman. Now that Olivia’s back, he’s confused. He’s upset with Olivia for ruining his chance with this woman because in his heart he loves Olivia, but his pride won’t let him. I should be a therapist.” She laughed and took another sip.
Mom pondered briefly and then said, “Maybe. But he must really care about the other woman too if he won’t get back together with Olivia.”
“Possibly. Your first true love is the hardest to let go,” Charlene added, tapping on her mug. “And if what I said is true, he’s screwed. If he’s not careful, he might lose both.”
Mom took a long sip and placed her mug down. “In that case, he better hurry and make up his mind.”
I gaped back and forth between Charlene and Mom as they talked about me like I wasn’t there. Neither of them looked at me. I wanted to tell them to stop, but then I realized their words mirrored my own contradicting thoughts. Charlene told the version in which Nate still had feelings for me. I could tell by the way he looked at me when we had a moment while hanging the painting. Mom echoed the version in which he didn’t care.
Just when I thought it was over, Charlene turned to me, looking squarely in my eyes. “So, you didn’t sleep with him like I told you to, huh?”
My face boiled. I was fine talking about sex with my friends, but not with my mom and certainly not with my mom’s friend.
“Charlene,” Mom scolded. “He’s dating someone.”
Charlene leaned back with a smile. “Dating someone and having a serious relationship with someone are two different things. Dating means one can have sex with others.” She
shook her head. “I’m telling you. Just pull down his pants and give him a blow job. He won’t be able to say no.”
“Charlene,” Mom cried out again, covering her mouth. “That’s so...so...I don’t think...”
I had no idea what Mom intended to say, but it sounded like she was going to tell Charlene that I had never done the deed. Oh, hell no. No way was I going to sit there and talk about sex with my mom anymore.
Charlene belted out laughter, slapping the chair’s arm. “I love to make your mom blush. Oh, Emily, don’t tell me you’ve never...”
Oh dear God, I didn’t want to hear this. Mom covered her face for a second, giggling and smiling in the palms of her hands. Then she picked up her mug again and took a gulp, as if to hide her expression behind the mug. When she placed it down, she asked, “Olivia, will you be staying with us for dinner?”
I stood up, trying to contain myself from busting up from our conversation, but thankfully she had changed the subject. “Actually, I’m going to dinner with Isla.”
Charlene ran a finger around the rim of the mug. “That’s good. Show Nathan you don’t care. You should pretend date someone and see if he gets jealous. I would go as far as making out with a guy in front of him. He might just beg you to take him back again. How dare he turn down a great catch? You’re beautiful, intelligent, you have a career, and you’re independent. Those are great qualities to have. If he doesn’t come around soon, forget him, Olivia. There are other fish in the sea. I know a lot of people. I’ll set you up.” Then her eyes lit up with excitement. “Oh, I know just the guy for you.” Her tone sounded way too cheerful. “He’s rich, good looking, and he’s available.”
I took several steps toward my room and stopped. Part of me felt guilty about lying. Nate had no idea I wanted to get back together again. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready yet.”
Charlene smiled. “That’s okay. I’m here for you. Just give me the word, and it’ll be done.”
I blew her a kiss. “Thank you.” Shifting my attention to Mom, I said, “Don’t worry.”
