‘You’re a wonderful, sensitive woman. You’re an absolute sweetheart who always finds the good in people and you go out of your way to make people feel good about themselves.’
It was one of the reasons it was so hard to fathom why anyone would want to harm her.
He tightened his hold on her as her crying intensified.
Dr Gerber appeared at the entrance to the sitting room and shot Max a questioning look, but he moved his head in dismissal. Although she wore a deep frown, she gave him a quick nod before she mouthed, ‘I’m here if you need me’, and retreated.
‘Everyone loves you, Jenna—even your horses sense what a special person you are. You constantly work miracles with the most intemperate beasts.’
‘I’m a regular horse whisperer, huh?’
‘You inspire trust and confidence.’
‘Not anymore,’ she cried. ‘I don’t have any confidence in myself and I’m scared witless to think I’m going to be responsible for a baby.’
Her fear was totally understandable.
‘You’re being too hard on yourself,’ he husked near her ear as she held on tightly. ‘I can’t imagine how frightening it must’ve been for you to wake up from your coma and realise every memory from your life had been wiped from your mind. You could hardly expect to feel anything for a child when you had no idea of who you were, and no memory that this was a child we’d planned—’
‘We planned this pregnancy?’
‘Not straight away, but we didn’t want to wait too long to start trying for a family either because both of us want—wanted—more than one child. We’d made a conscious decision not to use birth control.’
She shook her head a little against him. ‘I wish I could remember.’
Breathing in deeply, he loved the scent of her hair. It smelt of a different shampoo than the one she normally used, but he adored it all the same. Hell, he adored simply having her in his arms.
‘Our baby was conceived in absolute love.’ He vowed anew to help Jenna recover so their child would know their love for it and their deep, abiding love for each other.
Every now and then Jenna gave an audible sob or a sniffle, but she didn’t say anything. He loved that she made no attempt to pull away from him.
Max reached into his pocket to hand her a handkerchief.
She took it, and used it to wipe at her eyes and nose, but still said nothing.
‘I believe it’s just a matter of time before all your memories resurface, sweetheart—especially now you’re not having to come to terms with trying to fit together pieces of a jigsaw that were never part of your picture in the first place.’
‘This feels right,’ she said softly against his chest. ‘I’m scared to admit it. I don’t remember you, but I feel like this is where I belong, Max. Being held like this is so … comforting.’
Thank God!
Some of the tension seeped from him as he let out a long breath. ‘You don’t know how much it means to me to hear you say it.’
Jenna stayed in his arms for at least another ten minutes. It was ten minutes of bliss. Ten minutes he’d treasure for the rest of his life. Even if her mind didn’t remember him, perhaps her body did.
Reluctantly, he let her go when she eventually eased away from him, but his arms were instantly bereft.
‘I feel a little better now.’ Her eyes were endearingly shy as she looked at him and he was carried back to when she’d been thirteen and had turned to him for comfort when her mother had died.
But when he’d held her in his arms as a fifteen-year-old boy, all his feelings for her had changed. It was in the moments very much like these—when she’d turned to him for comfort—he realised he loved Jenna Sinclair with his whole heart. He’d known back then he wanted to share the rest of his life with her—to be the one to protect her, to share her highs and comfort her whenever she was low. Things hadn’t gone the way he’d planned. Two years later they’d been torn apart …
‘I want to get to know you again, Max.’
He intended she would. ‘That’s good, because I’m enjoying having you back in my life.’ And we’re inextricably linked through our child.
‘Please don’t tell me you love me.’ Panic skittered across her features. ‘You may have, but you don’t know me anymore. I might be someone completely different from the woman you fell in love with.’
‘I get what you’re saying, but I don’t think the bump to the head has altered your personality so much.’
‘You can’t be certain.’
‘We were completely in love with each other before the accident and more than ready to share our futures. Our child still binds us together, but I’m hoping—if the worst happens and your memory doesn’t return—that you’ll fall in love with me again.’
She inched away from him on the couch. ‘I can’t promise you it’ll happen. I might not have the same feelings. Despite what you think, I might not be the same person I was.’ She gave a little sound of despair. ‘All I can say is I’m glad you turned up today to stop the wedding. When you walked into the church and announced the wedding wasn’t going to happen, I decided you were my saviour.’
‘Saviour?’ He smiled. ‘I guess it’s a start.’ Love of her life would be better.
‘There are a lot more questions I want to ask and I trust you to answer them.’ She shrugged a little. ‘I’m very comfortable with you.’
Comfortable was better than uncomfortable, but it bordered on the boring side—like her coming home and putting on an old pair of slippers when she would rather have gone out wearing stilettos. What he yearned to know was whether she still found him attractive. Unfortunately, it was much too soon to put the burning question to the test.
‘Twenty-one weeks along,’ he acknowledged quietly. ‘Do you have an official due date?’
When she told him, he tucked her response away in his brain and set himself a new goal. He was determined to win her heart again and make her his wife well before their baby was due.
Jenna walked over to the window and looked out. Framed at that angle, the baby bump was outlined beautifully and he etched the picture into his memory. He wanted to stand behind her, wrap his arms around her and place one worshipful kiss after another up the elegant column of her neck as he smoothed over the roundness of her tummy with his hands.
The hunger consuming his body was a torturous ache and he shifted uncomfortably as his heart kicked in his chest, his blood pounded through his veins and started flooding to his groin.
Struggling for self-control, he almost reached for a cushion to place on his lap.
No, he decided. Too obvious.
Instead, his fingers curled into fists at his side and he willed his burgeoning arousal to subside. Jenna would most likely be threatened if she sensed how much he desired her, and he needed to win her trust—to ensure she knew he was there to support her.
‘Has the ba—?’
‘I was a horse trainer,’ she said as if saying it aloud would make it seem more real. Turning to face him she asked, ‘You say I was good at it?’
He’d been about to ask if the baby had kicked yet. He longed to ask her the question—to share at least that much of the pregnancy experience with her.
Following her lead he replied, ‘You were brilliant. You trained some of the top horses and riders in the UK for dressage events, and one of the riders you trained won a gold medal at the last Olympics on a horse you’d reared from birth. You’ve even sold a couple of the horses you’ve bred into the royal stables.’
‘Gosh.’ She frowned thoughtfully. ‘I actually had a thought about horses earlier today. Although I didn’t have any time to think about it, it struck me as odd—like, where would the thought have come from?’
‘If you have any more of those odd thoughts, let me know. I might be able to shed some light on them.’
‘I will. I’ve existed in a kind of haze. Now I reflect on it, I can see how James deliberately set out to interfere with my recovery.�
�� She walked back over to resume her seat. ‘I remember one morning I started making a hot chocolate and he stopped me, telling me I was lactose intolerant and couldn’t have a hot chocolate made with milk. Was he lying then too?’
‘Yes!’ The bastard. ‘You used to indulge yourself every morning and totally convinced yourself you couldn’t function through the day without it. Within fifteen or so minutes of getting out of bed, you’d make your way to the kitchen and froth up the milk for a hot chocolate.’
‘Oh good. They had me drinking walnut milk and I didn’t much like it.’
Max grimaced before he continued. ‘Afterwards, you’d go and swim a few laps in your pool, determined to work off what you referred to as your indulgence!’
‘I have my own pool?’
‘You have quite a country mansion.’
She bit down on her lip before she said, ‘No more second guessing myself. From now on, James won’t be around to stop me from doing something that seems part of my natural routine.’
Yes! He mentally fist pumped the air.
By getting James out of her radius, Max may well have provided her with the most important step to her recovery.
‘Dr Gerber suggested I keep a notebook to write down any random thoughts I have.’
‘I hired her because she’s the most renowned psychologist in this field.’
She sent him a cheeky smile. ‘I know. Remember I said I’d done an internet search on her?’
Max smiled back at her, more convinced by the second that Jenna was still the woman he loved.
‘Thank you for getting her involved, Max.’
‘I’ll do whatever it takes to help you recover your memories.’
‘I’ll pay you back the retainer you’ve paid her and employ her myself when I find out how to access my bank account.’
‘It’s not necessary.’
She stood up. ‘We may have been engaged but I won’t put myself in a position again where I feel beholden to someone.’ When he went to protest, she put up a hand to cut him off. ‘I almost let myself marry a man today for whom I feel nothing because I trusted my step-brother and because I felt obligated to him. I actually thought James and Sally had been looking after me these last couple of months. I thought I should marry David so I didn’t have to rely on their charity anymore.’
Another curse blistered through his brain.
It was an incredibly successful con-job they’d done on her considering she’d been the one supporting them financially.
‘I may not know who I am,’ she continued, ‘but Dr Gerber is going to try to help me recover my memory and also to support me in figuring out where I go from here. Thanks to you, I now know not to believe everything I’m told.’ Her mouth firmed in determination and she drew in a deep breath before she added, ‘In fact, today’s been a giant wake-up call. It’s almost like I’ve been out of a coma but still wandering around comatose for the last couple of months.’
He could empathise with her point of view. Self-advocacy was probably a giant step forward for her in the confusion she’d experienced.
‘Okay. I’ll respect your wishes about paying me back—’ hopefully soon she’d become his wife and all he had would be hers as well anyway, ‘—but please understand I’m here for you and I want to take care of you and our baby.’
She picked up an ornament that adorned the hotel’s coffee table and turned it around in her hands before replacing it. ‘That’s what David said too.’
Bloody hell. It wasn’t only Jenna’s memory that’d been set back by her step-brother’s lies. The whole charade the scheming trio had played was going to play havoc with her trust in her relationship with Max too. It’d be an uphill battle to get her to place her total trust in him again, even if she did feel comfortable enough to cry on his shoulder.
‘Do I have any other family?’ she asked as she sat back down.
He was disappointed to note that they were back to the questions about her and not them. ‘None I know of.’
‘Friends? You mentioned James hadn’t allowed my friends to visit me in hospital either.’
‘You have loads of friends. You’ve always been very popular with everyone you meet. Diane is your closest girlfriend and you’ve been friends since your school days. She was at the hospital for the first weekend you were there. You also have many friends in the equestrian world.’
With a frown of concentration she closed her eyes for a moment and he guessed she was turning the name Diane over in her mind trying to see if it sparked any kind of connection. On a sigh she opened her eyes again. ‘Do you know whether any of my friends were at the church today?’
‘I can’t say I was looking at the wedding guests, but I know Diane wasn’t invited.’ He shook his head. ‘I doubt James would’ve invited anybody there who really cared for you. It could’ve been a case of ‘rent-a-crowd’. Surrounding you with unfamiliar faces supposed to be close friends or relatives would’ve been a way to ensure you stayed confused.’
‘After what you’ve told me, it doesn’t sound far-fetched.’ She moved her hand in a helpless gesture. ‘Like everything else, the name Diane draws a blank.’
‘Would you like me to tell you about your closest friends, or to have them come and see you if Dr Gerber thinks it wouldn’t be too much for you?’
‘No. I’ve had enough for today. I don’t think I’ll be ready to meet people in the short-term.’ She pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead. ‘My head feels like it’s about to burst and I need time to sift through all you’ve told me.’
Max was certain his disappointment must be stamped on his face, and he worked quickly to mask it. ‘You set the pace, Jenna.’
‘Perhaps we could spend some more time together tomorrow morning?’
‘Of course.’ He cheered internally.
‘You don’t work?’
‘Ha! Only up to eleven or twelve hours a day minimum until I started dating you!’
‘You were able to cut back when we started going out?’
‘My hours were more a force of habit than anything. I enjoy the cut and thrust of business challenges. Like you, I wouldn’t have to work another day in my life if I didn’t want to. I don’t need the income and I have very capable and trustworthy employees who assume responsibility in my different business interests.’
He could also call on friends. Luca and Nick had stepped in for him to close a couple of business deals with foreign dignitaries while he’d been incapable of focusing on anything but finding Jenna these last five weeks.
‘I haven’t been outside yet but Dr Gerber tells me there’s a pool here. If the weather is nice tomorrow, perhaps we could sit out beside the pool and talk?’ Her suggestion was slightly hesitant.
‘Sounds good, but would you prefer to go for a picnic somewhere?’ It’d always been her ideal way to spend a lazy day in the warmer months. ‘We could drive to Adlestrop Village and find somewhere to picnic, then perhaps go on a hike while we talk?’ He’d just have to alert the head of the security team as to their plans.
His suggestion wasn’t met with the delighted enthusiasm he’d hoped for. The renewed wariness in her expression was becoming familiar. At least it prepared him for the polite refusal which followed.
‘Maybe in a few days.’ There was an empathetic light in her hazel eyes. ‘I can put myself in your shoes, Max. This must be really difficult for you, but you’re a stranger to me and I’ve learnt today that those I’ve already placed my trust in—those I should’ve been able to trust—have taken advantage of me. I don’t mean to offend you but I’m going to be more careful from now on with everyone.’
‘I get it.’
‘Although I’m placing quite a large degree of trust in you, I can’t give you all of it yet. I’m sorry.’
Typical Jenna. In all she was going through she was still able to find empathy for someone else. ‘It’s got to be a lot harder on you than it is on me.’
‘I can see it’s hard on both o
f us, but thank you for understanding.’ She bit down on her lip again and he guessed she was trying to figure out how to frame her thoughts. ‘When I saw you today, I didn’t recognise you, but I did feel there was a connection between us. It’s more than I’ve felt with anyone else.’
God, he loved this woman. She was trying to give him something to hold on to and he wanted to hug her for it.
She sent him a half-rueful, half-apologetic smile. ‘I haven’t broken down and cried on anyone’s shoulder in the last five weeks, either.’
‘I’m glad it was my shoulder.’ He sent her a wink before he told her seriously, ‘I want you to remember me, but I realise I can’t expect you to do that before you start remembering yourself.’
‘I’m going to have an early dinner in my room tonight. We’ll talk again tomorrow?’
He took his cue to depart. ‘Count on it.’
They both got to their feet and stood opposite each other awkwardly. There was a tangible pull of current between them—the urge to close the distance and wrap her in his arms.
Jenna swallowed, as if she could feel it too.
Resisting the very strong need to go to her and claim her lips with his, Max said, ‘I’ll be working in the other sitting room if you need me. If not, I’ll see you tomorrow.’
Her head gave a little jerk backwards as the current snapped.
For a moment she looked slightly disoriented, then he heard her breathe out and she looked grateful.
‘Thank you again for what you did for me today, Max.’
Her smile was beautiful.
He’d missed it.
He’d missed her.
Gratitude was a far cry from the love he craved from her, but at least he didn’t have to worry anymore about where she was or what was happening to her. He’d found her and she was accepting his help. Now he needed to re-connect with her heart and soul.
‘I did it for all of us,’ he said as his gaze settled on the swell of her abdomen.
Seduced by the Stranger (Billionaires & Babies, #2) Page 7
