‘I’m attracted to you,’ she told him, ‘and I believe you when you tell me how it was, but I can’t afford to go down the same path again until I can stand on my own two feet.’
He ran a hand through his hair then he rubbed at the nape of his neck. ‘It was so good between us. I can’t help hoping it’ll be that way again.’
‘I wish I could tell you it will be, but I don’t know it for sure.’
‘I don’t want you to feel crowded by me, Jen. If you need space, I’ll give it to you. Just know I’m here for you.’
She wanted to hug him for it. ‘I’m more pleased than I can say that you’re with me and at how patient you’re being.’ Even now she wished she could be back in his arms.
‘Jen, I want to be a hands-on father.’
Tears filled her eyes and a giant weight pressed down on her shoulders. ‘I can’t involve you, Max. I told you, I can’t even fully involve myself yet! I’ve been scared about how I’ll cope when I haven’t been able to live independently. Although I think I’ve made some huge strides in the last couple of days, I’m still worried about what sort of mother I’m going to be when I don’t even know myself.’
‘Hey!’ He moved close enough to put his hand on her shoulder. ‘You’re going to be a wonderful mother. We talked about having children together and everything you said told me you’d be loving and caring. We’re both going to be good parents for our baby.’
‘I wish I could remember.’
‘Maybe you’re trying too hard.’
Anxiety flared. ‘What if it doesn’t happen? What if I can never remember?’
‘Then you build your future on the present.’
‘With you being part of my present.’
The grey dominated his eyes as they filled with concern. ‘The logical thing to do is to give me a chance to win your heart again.’
He was closer to doing so than he realised.
‘Promise me you won’t close yourself to the possibility, Jen.’
‘I won’t.’
It was more a case of her having to battle her instincts and resist handing her heart over to him because she believed Max was trustworthy—believed he’d treasure her heart and keep it safe, but she couldn’t afford to take the risk. There was too much recovery to make—too much she needed to work through by herself.
Trying to find the words to explain herself, she wrung her hands together as she spoke. ‘I’ve been looking forward to seeing you today. I wanted to tell you about my visit to the solicitor yesterday and I wanted you to be pleased at the way I’m trying to find the strength to reclaim my life.’
‘I am pleased.’
‘I know, and your reaction made me feel good.’
His shoulders moved up and down just a little as he breathed deeply. ‘Listen. Why don’t we both forget about the past for today and live in the present?’
‘Forget the past?’ She laughed a little sarcastically before she placed the fingertip of one finger on her chin and adopted an exaggeratedly serious expression ‘Let me think. I wonder if it’s possible for me to forget the past?’
‘Come on. Let’s both live for the day.’ He winked at her. ‘I promise you’ll enjoy it.’
God but that wink of his was so downright sexy it had the capacity to make a woman lose all rational thought. Jenna reminded herself again not to give in to his charm. Every decision she made had to be based on logic now, not emotion and definitely not sexual attraction.
Taking a few steps away from the lift doors, she moved until she could look out of the window and onto the rolling green hills and fields surrounding the exclusive little hotel.
She’d been living for each day for the last five weeks.
No. She corrected herself. She’d been trying each day to remember her life. It would be something of a relief to give herself permission to enjoy a carefree day where she wouldn’t try to remember anything. Max was good for her and there was no denying she really liked his company.
Looking back at him, she sent him a smile and felt lighter than she had in … as long as she could remember! ‘It’s a beautiful day for a picnic.’ She walked back over to the lift and summoned it again. ‘Let’s go and have fun together.’
‘Let’s.’ He offered her his hand and she took it without hesitation. It was a familiar action—as though she’d done it a thousand times before, even though she couldn’t recall a single instance when sensation had ever sung through her like this.
‘What made you change your mind?’ he asked as they got into the lift and he pressed the button for the ground floor.
‘About?’
‘About going on a picnic with me.’ The doors closed. ‘You were a bit reluctant when I mentioned it the other day.’
‘You were right. I need to stop trying so hard to remember and beating myself up when I don’t. Besides, I want to get to know you better and a picnic sounded like a good idea.’ She smiled. ‘Have we been on lots of picnics before?’
‘We met regularly for a picnic lunch of sorts on Saturdays or Sundays when we were kids. You used to get the cook at Herlstone Park to make us sandwiches and cakes.’
‘We’ve known each other for so many years?’
‘I met you when you were nine and I was eleven. You were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. You still are.’
Jenna felt the heat rising to her cheeks. ‘How did we meet?’
‘My father was your mother’s chauffeur and my mother was employed as the housekeeper.’
‘The life I had all sounds quite grand—a cook, chauffeur and housekeeper.’
‘You’re an heiress, remember? My family lived in one of the cottages on the estate. I scored a job when we moved there too. I was a part-time stablehand outside school hours.’
‘We weren’t attracted to each other at such a young age, surely?’
‘No.’ He laughed. ‘We were instantly friends—bonding over a new foal and how leggy and uncoordinated it was.’ His voice held a lot of satisfaction. ‘We were always friends. We never went through a stage of rejecting each other because of our gender differences—you know, the awkwardness some kids go through around puberty?’
‘Surprisingly, I do know what you’re talking about!’ The lift began to slow its descent. ‘So, we both loved horses.’
‘Yes. But you owned them and I took care of them.’
‘Was I a spoiled miss?’
‘Never. You convinced your mother to let me learn to ride so we could ride out together. In fact—’ he laughed, ‘—you were such a good rider, you taught me.’
‘At nine years old?’
‘Yep.’
The lift door opened and he gestured for her to walk out ahead of him. ‘The car’s right at the front of the hotel.’
Once again, it felt completely right to be walking out of the hotel at Max’s side. The car, however, pulled her up with a bit of a start.
‘This is your car?’ she asked in bemusement as Max opened the door of the Bentley sedan.
‘You don’t approve?’
She gave a little laugh. ‘What’s not to approve about a Bentley? But this feels odd. I think I had you pegged more as a sports car kind of guy.’
He tilted his head a little to one side and gave her a speculative look. ‘You’re right. You’ve never seen this car before because I normally drive a limited edition Bugatti Veyron. I figured it might be a little less comfortable for you to get in and out of at the moment, so I recently added this Flying Spur sedan to my garage.’
A familiar warmth settled around her heart because she was getting used to his considerate gestures. ‘I keep forgetting you’re wealthy.’
He smiled appreciatively. ‘You’ve never cared about wealth.’
He closed the door for her and walked around to the driver’s side. As he fastened his seatbelt she admitted, ‘Since I’ve thought I was broke, I’m fast realising not having to worry about finances is a wonderful position to be in.’
‘It is.’
‘Yes.’ He turned on the engine. ‘Although I love being around horses, I doubt I would’ve worked as a stablehand had I grown up with money. I would rather have spent my time riding them than mucking out their stalls.’
‘So you made your fortune in construction by partnering with your two closest friends.’
‘Did you confirm it on your internet search?’ he teased.
‘Absolutely,’ she replied without apology. ‘What made you so determined?’
He grew serious. ‘You.’
Something in the way he said it told her there was some deep-seated emotion behind his admission. ‘But you said I never cared about wealth.’
‘You didn’t but your step-father did.’ He pulled out of the car parking space and headed towards their picnic destination.
‘And?’
He spared her a quick glance but said nothing as he looked ahead at the road.
‘I’m sensing there’s more to this story.’
His lips twisted a little and finally he said, ‘I was the son of the chauffeur and the housekeeper. Your step-father didn’t consider me good enough for you.’
‘That’s terrible.’ No wonder he wasn’t comfortable pursuing the subject. ‘James’ father must’ve been a snob. I hope he never imbued any of those outlooks onto me.’
‘He didn’t.’ He braked slowly as they approached a red traffic light where a couple of pedestrians were crossing the intersection. Turning to face her, he had a huge, almost cheeky grin. ‘When you turned fifteen, Charles Mendles caught us kissing in the stables.’
‘Oh.’ The thought of it made her skin flush. ‘Did we get into trouble?’
‘Getting into trouble is putting it mildly.’ His lips twitched into a small smile before they flattened into a slightly bitter line, but his tone was matter-of-fact as he elaborated. ‘The first time he caught us, he let me off with a warning. The second time he caught us, I lost my job and, to make sure we were kept apart, you were sent to Geneva to a posh finishing school.’ The lights changed to green and he accelerated again. ‘I was told in no uncertain terms that the hired help would never be good enough for you. Then, he threw me out on my rear end with no reference and my wages for the fortnight unpaid.’
‘I’m sorry. That was so unfair.’
‘It wasn’t your fault and in actual fact he did me a favour because he fuelled my determination to make a success of myself.’
‘It was then you set out to make your millions?’
‘Yes. I wasn’t part of the established British upper class and not having been born into it, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be accepted. I was determined to become wealthier than Mendles.’ He hesitated before he told her, ‘I wanted to return one day and rub his nose in the fact my wealth had been earned, not inherited, and I was determined he’d accept my offer for your hand in marriage. If he didn’t, I vowed I’d ruin him financially and marry you anyway.’
‘Oh.’ She frowned, disapproving of his thoughts of revenge. ‘That’s rather ruthless.’ She wasn’t sure she liked the streak of revenge in his character.
‘I was young. I was hurting. You see, he didn’t only fire me. Both my parents were dismissed from service as well. They not only lost their incomes, they lost their accommodation too.’
‘Max! If he did all that he must’ve been horrid.’ Charles’ treatment of him and his parents was despicable and a complete overreaction. It was no wonder Max had wanted revenge. Charles had hurt him and his parents—and no doubt she’d been devastated too. The little she’d seen of Max, she believed he’d have felt incredibly guilty to be the cause of his parents’ loss.
‘He genuinely believed you could do better than marry me. Even at such a young age, you and I both believed we were heading to the altar. I think he could see it too, so he was determined to break us apart.’
Heading to the altar.
Jenna became aware she’d twisted her fingers together in her lap. She looked at them now as she reflected on all Max had told her. They’d been compatible even as children and somehow, even when they’d been torn apart, they’d found their way back to each other. The easy affinity she’d established with Max made it impossible to doubt him. Talking to him—opening up about her innermost feelings—was so easy.
She thought how they must’ve been as children—could imagine him as a youth, mucking out the stables while she’d followed him around. Such a clear picture formed in her mind …
Her hands stilled and she frowned at them before she turned her head sharply to look at him. Was it imagination or was it a memory?
Her heart leapt about in her chest.
‘Max! Did I wear my hair in long pigtails?’
‘You did. I called them your Pollyanna pigtails.’
‘Did I ever wear a blue checked shirt under denim overalls and long black wellington boots as I followed you around the stables?’
Max pulled the car off the side of the road and onto a verge before he cut the engine and swivelled quickly to face her.
‘Yes.’
His broad smile surely mirrored hers. The sudden film of moisture in his eyes was evident even through the sheen of her tears.
‘You remember?’ He gripped her upper arms, excitement in every syllable.
‘Not everything—only the image. But it came to me so sharply. I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination or a memory.’
‘It was a memory, sweetheart!’ He pulled her to him a little awkwardly across the car interior but she didn’t care. They were both caught up in the moment, both rejoicing together and laughing.
He placed kisses across her forehead then on her cheek and against her lips. ‘It’s a start, Jen.’
She wrapped her arms around him as best she could and they held each other tight. ‘I’m going to remember.’ Each word was forced through vocal cords that were thick with emotion.
Running one hand over her hair while the other still held her to him, Max agreed. ‘You’re going to remember. Bit by bit, it’s going to happen.’
Slowly the comfort she was deriving from being in his arms changed to a sexual awareness. Her hand itched to move lower so she could pull up the edge of the casual polo shirt he wore and slip underneath it to reacquaint herself with the texture and heat of his skin.
If she angled her head a bit, she could place her lips against the exposed skin at the vee of his shirt and if she was really adventurous … No, even if he pushed his seat right back from the steering column, with the current swell of her abdomen it was ridiculous to believe she could ease herself across the gear console and onto his lap with any sort of comfort or grace. In fact, if she stayed in this position any longer, she’d end up with a sore lower back and a crick in her neck!
Easing away from him and back into her seat, her mind was full of other images. They were vague and she was certain they were more wishful thinking than memories.
Heat stole over her skin at the direction of her thoughts and she let her hair fall forward to cover her flush, embarrassed Max would guess what she was thinking. She wasn’t sure she wanted him to know about the burst of physical desire that’d struck her because it would send more mixed messages.
Trying to divert his attention she asked, ‘Did I know what Charles had done to you and your parents?’
Max cleared his throat and she guessed she wasn’t the only one who’d been caught up in the sexual charge of the moment. ‘No. You told me when we met again years later that when he packed you off to Geneva, you’d told him nothing would keep you away from me. You said if he sent you to Switzerland, you’d run away. He told you if you didn’t stay at the school in Geneva, and if you ever tried to contact me again, he’d sack my parents and me.’
‘He did it anyway.’ How could anyone have acted that way?
‘Yes. I didn’t know he’d delivered the ultimatum to you at the time. I tried texting you and tried emails but your number had been changed and your email address closed. I
asked other members of the household staff where you’d been sent. I tried to contact you through the post but every letter was returned unopened. I thought he’d turned you against me—made you see that I’d never be good enough for you—and that you’d wiped your hands of me.’
‘Did you give up on us then?’ The thought caused a painful little pull in her chest.
‘No. I was bitterly disappointed in you but still determined I’d find my way back to you one day. I was furious with Charles. I fully intended to lash out at him if I ever got the slightest opportunity. Fortunately for him, he died before I became wealthier than he was.’
She imagined Max would make a formidable enemy. ‘Did you ever intend to punish me when you thought I’d rejected you?’
‘No. I always loved you, Jen,’ he told her quietly. ‘I always believed we were meant for each other. My only thought when I got kicked out of Herlstone Park was that I had to be wealthy so I could ensure Charles was never proven correct—that I could afford to keep you in the style to which you’d grown accustomed and financial worries would never be an issue between us.’
And now, he’d found her again, yet she was still partially lost to him.
She placed a hand over her abdomen and acknowledged somewhere along the way, they’d become lovers. She carried the evidence of their love—of the passion which even now was an ever-present current of awareness running between them.
There were still so many questions she wanted answered, but there was also much she needed to absorb.
Without saying anything, Max restarted the car, checked the mirrors and pulled out once more onto the quiet road.
They’d driven for a few miles before she ventured, ‘You were a very young millionaire.’
‘My friends, Luca and Nick, were both from wealthy families and wanted to prove to their fathers that they could make their own fortunes. I, of course, originally wanted to prove myself to your step-father, and I also wanted to prove myself to you. As I told you, all three of us worked damned hard to build up our construction company.’
‘The informative internet told me you’re still in partnership with your two friends.’
Seduced by the Stranger (Billionaires & Babies, #2) Page 9
