She struggled to free herself from his grasp. “Let me go, Jude!”
“I will, darlin’, but you need to calm down.” He led her to a private area behind a thick group of trees before he stopped and released her. As soon as he let go, she dashed away from him with surprising speed.
“Stop right now, Callie,” he said loudly, striding after her. “If I have to run to catch you, you’re going to be very sorry when I do.”
His words fell on deaf ears. Callie continued to run, so Jude broke into a jog after her. It took longer than he thought it would to catch her, and by the time he did, they were both breathing hard. Jude wrapped an arm around Callie’s middle and lifted her clear off the ground. She struggled violently as he walked in the direction from which they’d come. He hefted her over his shoulder like a burden of goods to make the walk a bit easier. The difference was that this particular burden saw fit to pound her fists against his back and fling a string of obscenities at him. When she launched into an unflattering description of his mother, he finally stopped at an overturned log, where he sat and quickly maneuvered her over his lap.
Without delay, he landed a hard smack across her wriggling bottom. “I’m going to spank you until you calm down. It’s up to you how long it takes,” he informed her, then fell into silence and focused on his task with great attention. He smacked her crisply across both cheeks over and over, while she wailed and cursed and struggled to free herself from his iron grip on her waist. His forearm effectively pinned her to his left leg, and when she wouldn’t stop kicking, he wrapped his other leg over hers, trapping her completely and allowing him to keep his target steady. After a good twenty swats or so, she stopped cursing and hung limply over his lap, sniffling quietly.
As soon as he felt her body relax, he stopped spanking and rubbed her back, murmuring comforting words as they came to him. His sympathy only seemed to make her cry more, although by this time her crying wasn’t hysterical; instead it was sad and resigned. He sat her upright on his lap and hugged her to him, kissing her forehead and rubbing her back.
“Shh, darlin’. I’ll buy you another satchel, and Albert will write more letters. Your mother’s brooch and Sam’s lucky penny? Now I know those can’t be replaced and I’m sorry about that, but your ma and Sam will always be in your memory. No one can steal your memories.” He handed her a bandana as a handkerchief.
She took it and blew her nose, then gazed sadly into his eyes. “I guess I deserved it after stealing his watch.”
Jude smoothed some of her tangled hair behind her ear. “You didn’t deserve it, honey. You deserve good things to happen to you. That’s what I want for you, so much.”
Her eyes were rimmed with red, and he saw a flash of fear cross them. “I’m scared, Jude. I know it sounds silly, but my lucky penny from Sam made me feel like I wasn’t alone. What if Albert doesn’t like me? I’ll be stuck in Sacramento without a friend.”
“No, honey. That’s not going to happen,” Jude said. “You can bet your britches I’ll be making sure this Albert Smith is perfect, or just barely shy of it. And I’ll make sure he’s smart enough to know what a prize he has in you. Otherwise, I won’t be leaving you.”
Her bloodshot green eyes studied his carefully. “You’ll take me back to St. Louis?”
He didn’t want to get into the particulars of his desire to settle down with her. It all depended on the man Albert Smith, and it pained him to think of what might not be. “Or I’ll take you somewhere else. But let’s not talk about it. All you need to know is that I won’t abandon you if something isn’t right in Sacramento.”
She rested her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, Jude. You’ve been so good to me.”
He gave her back an affectionate rub. They were more familiar with each other than what was proper, and yet he wanted so much more. He desired nothing more than to make her his wife and hold her in his arms every night.
A few days later, when they reached their stop in Angelos City, Jude got the party situated in the hotel and walked very slowly to the telegraph office. Never had he been so nervous to receive a message. With every fiber in his being, he hoped that the marshal’s report on Albert Smith was unfavorable. He wished the man to be forty years old at the youngest, dirt poor, and with a drinking problem. If he had served jail time, all the better.
Jude’s normally very steady hand trembled when he picked up the envelope that held the message from Sacramento’s marshal. The noise around him from pedestrians and horses felt distracting, so Jude walked away from the hustle and bustle until the noise became little more than a hum. He sat on a tree stump and took a deep breath. He carefully tore the side of the envelope and drew out the slip of paper from inside.
Albert Smith 32 years
Jude’s wrist slackened and he held the paper loosely in his hand. The breeze caused it to flap, a painful reminder of its presence and what it represented. Disappointment rested heavily on his shoulders. Judging by the words of the message, Albert Smith seemed to be a decent man, and Jude wouldn’t be able to propose to Callie in good conscience.
Fighting off his baser feelings, he found comfort in the knowledge that she would surely have a good life as a rich miner’s wife, and Albert would likely treat her well, since he was upstanding enough to serve on the voluntary city council. Though his hopes were dashed, he felt glad that Callie had a chance for happiness after the misfortune she’d experienced growing up. His gratefulness over that melded with melancholy. He knew how very much he loved her. It was enough to lose her if that was what was best for her.
Chapter Ten: Sacramento
Callie mopped her face with a bandana. It was a sweltering hot day, and she desperately needed a bath. All of travelers did, but they would arrive at their destination city dirty and sweaty. She didn’t care all that much, though she knew she should, since she was hours away from meeting her future husband. Her mind was occupied with Jude, who also looked like he could use a good bath. For the last seventy miles, they talked easily with each other in the box seat. The longer they talked, the sadder Callie felt. She never wanted to be without Jude’s company. She wanted him to continue to guide and enlighten her, and she wanted to continue to charm him, which she could tell she did quite well by the way his eyes danced and his mustache twitched in amusement over the things she said.
The two of them fell into silence as the outline of the city buildings came into view against the sunset. According to Jude, her future husband would likely be waiting at their stop, as Jude had sent a telegram a couple of days ago to the home station, alerting the marshal and other city officials of their arrival and listing each passenger’s name. Callie tried to muster up some excitement and the will to smooth down her hair and try to look presentable, but all she felt was a sinking, sad feeling in her gut. She looked over at Jude. “So you won’t leave me here if I don’t want you to, right, Jude?” She needed to hear his promise once again.
He shook his head as he urged the horses forward. “No need to fret about that. I’m going to be in town for a few days anyway, looking into some things.”
Jude blew the bugle, signaling to the passengers in the coach that they were minutes from the final station, which elicited whoops and hollers. It had been a long journey, and they were finally home.
Callie held up her hand to shade her eyes from the sun and peered into the small crowd of people who stood around the station. When she caught sight of a tall blond man leaning against a beam with a hand on his hip, her breath caught in her throat. She knew it was Albert. She could tell by the description he gave of himself, though he hadn’t sent a photograph. As the coach came to a stop, she locked eyes with him. He gave her a small smile, then stepped forward. Her heartbeat quickened as he approached. Her fiancé was quite good-looking, and he had dressed up for the occasion with a starched white shirt and western-style bow tie. His vest was rich suede that reminded her of her su
ede pouch that the senator had stolen.
Callie knew she looked a fright, especially compared to him, so when he held out his hand to assist her descent, she smiled shyly and apologized. “Please excuse my appearance, Mr. Smith. I wish I could have freshened up before meeting you.”
He waited until she reached the ground before speaking. His voice was polite. “Please call me Albert as you’ve been doing in letters, Callie. You’ve traveled long and hard. There’s no need to apologize. I’ve arranged for you to stay the night in the hotel a few blocks down, where you can bathe and get a good night’s sleep.”
“Thank you,” she said, although she worried how she would fare alone in a hotel room. It was to be expected, though. Albert wouldn’t sleep in the same room with her until they were married. He was a gentleman.
“I’ll fetch your luggage. Is it in the boot?”
Callie felt her cheeks grow warm. Her mind raced, assembling the lies she’d told Albert in her letters. He thought she was well off, and here she stood in a dirty torn dress with no luggage.
“I’m afraid I only have what I’m wearing.” She lowered her voice so that only Albert could hear her. “The rest was stolen in a holdup. A bandit took off with my huge satchel but left everyone else’s. He probably didn’t want to weigh the horse down with other people’s things in addition to mine.” She held her breath, hopeful that he believed her.
“I’m glad you escaped unharmed when the bandit stole your things!” he exclaimed loudly.
Callie cringed and looked at Jude, who rolled his eyes and shook his head at her. Unaware of her discomfort, Albert continued, “Tomorrow I will buy you whatever supplies you might need before we get married. The ceremony will take place at sundown.”
“Thank you,” Callie said again, her voice barely above a whisper. She felt her heartbeat quicken over his mention of their impending marriage. “You are ever so kind.”
Her friend Annie hustled over and gave her a big hug. “You take care, dear, but this isn’t goodbye. I’ll be looking you up after we’re all settled.”
Callie bid her, Billy, and the Tuckers farewell. All but the senator assured her they would be in touch. When Albert held out his bent arm, she wrapped her dirty hand around the crook of his elbow. She glanced up at Jude, who still sat in the box seat studying her and Albert carefully. She wanted more than anything to run back to him. She wanted to feel his arms around her one last time. Instead, she tore her gaze away and held on to the stranger’s arm, the man she’d longed to meet for nearly a year before meeting Jude, and walked with him to the hotel.
After Albert bid her a polite goodbye and she was left alone to bathe, she curled up in the warm water and mourned her loss. Jude would never again hold her during her night terrors. He wouldn’t tease her or joke with her. He wouldn’t study her with that gaze that melted the walls of lies and tall tales she used to make herself seem important. Jude was the only person who not only knew the real her, but also liked what he discovered. To experience that and then to lose it felt devastating.
Callie finished with her bath and toweled herself dry. She donned her drawers and chemise even though they were quite dirty. She had nothing else to sleep in, and it didn’t feel right to sleep naked. She turned up the light from the oil lamp as high as it would go and crawled into bed, where she stared at the flickering flame, praying she would find sleep before the light went out. She was not so lucky, however. When the flame died, she trembled and began to hum, tears streaming down her face. The memory of the nights alone in the closet tortured her with a vengeance. The panic was especially bad this time, and soon she was screaming.
She heard a knock that startled her out of her terrified state. Worried that someone had come to yell at her for screaming, she tiptoed to the door and pressed her ear against it. “Who’s there?” she asked.
“It’s me, Callie. May I come in?”
At the sound of Jude’s voice, Callie burst into relieved tears. She opened the door and fell into his arms, never happier to see someone in all her life.
“Oh, darlin’,” he said, sighing. “I was afraid of this.” He swept her trembling, scantily clad body into his arms and walked in the room with her, shutting the door behind him with his boot. He carried her to the bed and set her down, then pulled up the quilt over her. “Hush, now. There’s no need to cry or be afraid.” He walked to the lamp and added more oil, then lit the small flame.
“I’m so happy to see you, Jude,” she said through her tears. “I need you.”
He returned to the bed and sat on it, then wrestled the boots off his feet and placed them aside along with his Stetson. He regarded her for a brief moment, looking conflicted, but then seemed to come to a decision. He lay next to her fully dressed and gathered her into his arms in the familiar cuddle that brought her such comfort.
“You don’t need me, honey, you only think you do. You’re going to be just fine.” He stroked her freshly washed hair away from where it clung to her damp cheeks.
Callie didn’t know what to say to that. She disagreed, but she didn’t want to argue. Her feelings about the subject didn’t matter. Even if Jude loved her, he wouldn’t steal her from her fiancé. And if she confessed her love to him, she would be going against everything he’d taught her about being true to her word. He knew she’d promised Albert that she would marry him.
“It’s very improper for me to be holding you like this, Callie,” Jude said in a mournful voice. “It’s your husband’s pleasure to hold you, so it will be the last time that I do. Albert seems like a decent fellow. You will have a good life with him, I reckon.”
Callie feared she would weep if she responded, so she stayed quiet but for a shuddering breath. It was then that she understood that Jude had come to say goodbye to her. She couldn’t recall ever feeling so sad as she did in that moment, resting in his comforting arms, knowing it was the last time that she would. Jude seemed to understand what she was feeling. He hugged her tighter and buried his face in the hair cascading over the nape of her neck. He breathed in deeply and sighed.
“Will you come to the wedding, Jude?”
It took him a very long time to respond. If she didn’t know how loudly he snored, she would have thought he’d fallen asleep. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, honey,” he said finally.
“I understand,” she whispered. And she did. There was no way he’d be able to endure the pain of watching her get married if he felt anywhere near as bad about losing her as she did about losing him.
* * *
When Callie woke up, Jude was gone. Judging by the bright light streaming into the window, so was most of the morning. She quickly rose from bed, washed her face, and tried without much success to dust off the dirt on her dress. It needed to be washed thoroughly over a washboard with soap and water. She walked down the steps to the front desk, unsure of what she was supposed to do first. Fortunately, Albert had already thought of that.
The innkeeper spotted her. “Miss Caroline Broderick?”
She nodded. “Yes, sir, that’s me.”
He walked over and handed her a note. “From Mr. Albert Smith,” he explained.
Callie thanked him and meandered over to a chair by the door, where she sat and opened the envelope. She drew out the letter and unfolded it. The letter was written in Albert’s familiar hand.
Dear Callie,
I hope you feel well rested after your long journey. I’ve made arrangements with the seamstress to supply you with two dresses, one for everyday use and a more formal one for our wedding and for church. Please also pick out whatever else you might need—shoes, stockings, etc. You’ll find the dress shop three blocks east of the hotel. When you’ve made your selections, please join me at the diner for lunch, where we will get to know each other a bit more.
Sincerely,
Albert
Callie’s eyes lingered on the word ‘sincerely.’ She’d never read that closing in any of his other letters to her. They were always signed
‘warmly’ or even ‘with love.’ His use of ‘sincerely’ seemed much stiffer. She shrugged. It was a silly thing to read into. It was clear that Albert was exactly the kind of man any sane woman would want for a husband—considerate, well-off, and handsome to boot. She recalled the many hours she’d spent reading his letters over the last nine months, imagining him and their life together. She tried to summon even a smidgen of the same excitement she once felt. Here she was, only hours from her wedding and the start of a stable, good life—what she’d been wishing for and dreaming of for so long—and she felt nothing but sorrow.
Callie found some pleasure in picking out her clothes. She’d never before owned brand-new duds. She chose a blue gingham dress with eyelet stitched around the wrists and hem of the skirt. For her more formal wear, she chose a cream-colored satin dress with black lace at the collar and delicate crystal buttons down the back. The seamstress offered to fix her hair, which was clean from the bath the night before but as unruly as ever.
Callie donned the satin dress and stood before the mirror, marveling at her appearance. Her hair was pinned in an elaborate bun on the top of her head, with soft ringlets let loose that framed her face. The curves of her slim figure were highly accentuated by the satin material. She looked like the real lady she’d pretended to be in her letters to Albert, not the scrappy girl she felt like inside.
After thanking the seamstress, Callie moseyed on over to the diner. Along the way, she took in the sights of what would be her new home. The city bustled. It was much more energetic than St. Louis, with more people. Men and women alike nodded to her and smiled pleasantly. This had never happened to her before. She’d always walked with her eyes downcast in town, afraid of being spotted. Now she walked with her head held high, like someone who belonged. It felt right, being in Sacramento. She would get used to the man she would marry, she told herself, and all would work out well. She tried to squelch the dark sadness that threatened to bubble up and smother the brief hope she’d managed to find.
Corralling Callie Page 9
