“What?” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do. This never should have happened between us. Now go. And don’t come back.” He stomped toward the house, Ella whining and looking between them but following Nick with agitated barks.
Hunter stood motionless by the frozen river, his breath white puffs in the frigid air, his bare fingers tingling. After everything they’d shared, it was just over? He was supposed to leave with his tail between his legs because Nick said so?
Fuck. That.
With a growl, Hunter followed, his boots crunching in the snow. By the woodpile, Nick turned and stared incredulously as Hunter marched toward him. “I told you to go.”
“No.” Hunter stopped in front of him, squaring his shoulders. “First off, I’m not walking back to Pinevale.”
Nick grimaced as if he hadn’t considered that. “You can take the pickup. I’ll get it another day. It doesn’t matter.”
“As long as I do what you say and leave you alone and never come back?”
Gaze on his unlaced boots, Nick nodded.
“That’s not how this works. Not out here. You’re Daddy in bed, and I’ll happily do what you say. But you don’t get to give me orders when we’re not fucking. You don’t get to decide things between us without even talking to me. In a snap of your fingers this is over? No. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I told you, this was a mistake.” Nick’s jaw was clenched, but his voice shook. He still looked down.
“Why? Because you saw me on the ice and got scared something would happen to me? Because you care about me?”
Shaking his head, Nick backed up, hitting the stack of firewood. Ella whined again, tense by Nick’s side. Nick’s throat worked, his breath short. The front door of the house was standing open, and Nick snapped toward it. “Ella! Inside.”
Reluctantly, she went. Hunter breathed hard, trying to figure out the right thing to say. He wanted to hold Nick again and tell him everything would be okay, but not yet. Ella followed Nick’s commands always, but Hunter wasn’t backing down.
“That river is frozen solid, and even if it wasn’t—it’s only, what, waist-deep? But it probably scared you seeing me out there because of what happened to Eric.” Hunter was pretty sure it was the first time he’d said that name aloud. Nick flinched, looking up at the stars now, panting softly.
Hunter took a deep breath and continued. “I’m so, so sorry about what happened to him. I can only imagine what that was like for you. But I’m not going to let you push me away because you’re afraid. You wouldn’t be afraid if you didn’t care about me, and I care about you too. I know we just met, but I’m falling in love with you.”
Hunter’s words hung in the air, and Nick lowered his head, facing him. “I can’t do this again,” he rasped. “I should never have… This is why I was alone. I can’t love you and have something happen. I can’t. Your mother said…”
Hunter cringed. “Oh God, what?” She’d always been so cool, but he was going to freak if she’d messed with Nick’s head because she was overprotective.
“It wasn’t bad.” Nick cleared his throat, his fingers clenching and unclenching. “She doesn’t want me to break your heart or make promises I can’t keep. And she’s right. I can’t give you this.” He motioned between them with rigid jabs of his hand. “This is too much. Already.” He laughed hollowly. “I don’t even know how it happened, but it’s too much. Because I can’t care and lose you. I can’t go through that. Not again.”
“We’re all going to die. And I hope it’s not for a very long time for either of us. But we have to live in the meantime.” He had Nick cornered, which sounded stupid since Nick was twice his size, but Hunter stepped closer slowly. He reached out tentatively, taking Nick’s hand and squeezing his trembling fingers. The toes of their boots touched, their white puffs of breath mingling again.
Hunter whispered, “I want you to love me. I want us to love each other. I want to stay here and work with you.”
Nick clung to his fingers. “You want to stay? Not go back to Toronto?”
“Right. If you’ll have me? I never thought of myself as outdoorsy or anything like that, but I love the fresh air and my muscles burning and being out here far away from cubicles and computers and rush hour. Have you ever ridden the subway at rush hour? If there’s a hell, it’s being crammed into a metal box with thousands of other people twice a day. I don’t want to do it. Even if that means I’m wasting my degree or whatever, I don’t want to work in an office. I want to know everything about trees and planting and harvesting—all of it. This is a real job, and I want to do it. Or at least try.”
Nick blew out a long breath in a stream of white. “I want that too. The twelve- and fourteen-hour days are a lot. Maybe I’ve been too much of a workaholic. Having full-time help…a partner, would be good.”
“They say work/life balance is vital.” Hunter gave him a little smile.
Nodding, Nick exhaled again, his expression serious. “I’m sorry I was rough with you. Seeing you on the ice…” He took another deep breath and exhaled. “Please don’t go out there, even if it’s safe.” He lifted a hand and stroked Hunter’s cheek with cold fingers. “Is that unreasonable of me?”
“No. I can do that for you. It’s an easy thing to do.” He still held Nick’s other hand, and he squeezed gently. “Can you do something for me?”
Nick stared down into his eyes, his own softening. “Anything.”
Hunter smiled gratefully, joy making a tentative return. “Don’t shut me out of important decisions. Like, you know, whether or not we should be together? That’s pretty important. We’re equals in this, right? Even if you’re in charge when we have sex?”
He didn’t hesitate, squeezing Hunter’s hand. “Yes. Absolutely. Even if I’m an overprotective ass sometimes.”
Hunter laughed softly. “I can handle that. I know you were scared. And I’m sure it won’t be the last time we argue.”
Nick’s lips twitched in a smile. “I’m sure not. Especially if you’re moving in.”
His belly flip-flopped with excitement. “Is that what you want? I got snowed in, and now I’m staying?”
Smile growing, Nick said, “Yes. Maybe it’ll end in disaster, but I want you to stay. I want you with me out there.” He nodded in the direction of the trees before motioning to the house behind him. “And in here.” He stepped close, pressing their bodies together and taking Hunter’s face in both his hands. “In my bed. Our bed.”
“I want that too,” Hunter whispered. “All of it.” His pulse galloped. “And I don’t want either of us to have our heart broken. So let’s not, okay?”
“Deal.”
“Let’s have a Christmas miracle instead and be happy forever.” He went up on his tiptoes and kissed Nick then, trying to tell him everything he was feeling with the steady press of his lips. He wanted to work with him and live with him and love him. He inched back, looking up into Nick’s moon-glow eyes. “Take me to bed, Daddy.”
Hunter’s feet went out from under him, and he gasped as Nick swept him into his arms and strode to the front door. Hunter’s laughter bubbled out of him, echoing in the trees standing silent guard. He loved the sensation of being aloft and secure against Nick’s body.
“You’re not supposed to carry me over the threshold until we get married,” he teased, then bit his lip. He was only joking, but would it scare off Nick?
Nick paused under the eaves. “This is the quickest way to get you naked in bed.” He strode inside the open door with his own laugh and kicked it shut.
His arms around Nick’s neck, Hunter giggled. “Can’t argue with that logic.” Ella barked, her tail wagging, and Hunter couldn’t stop laughing as Nick carried him upstairs. “Ella agrees.”
When they were naked together, the curtains open to the silver night, Hunter got on his hands and knees. But Nick turned him and drew him close, kissing him with a gentle, questing tongue. Nick ta
sted him until Hunter’s head spun, then pressed him back against the mattress, his lips exploring every inch of flesh until Hunter could only beg for more.
Nick kissed his mouth again, and Hunter could taste his own sweat and desire. Nick was heavy on top of him, surrounding him, keeping him safe and cherished. Raising his knees to his chest, Hunter cried out as Nick entered and fucked him, stretching him to the breaking point, but never too far.
Epilogue
One Year Later
“Higher on your side!” Hunter called, and Nick raised his end of the banner, balancing on a ladder by the trunk of one of the bare maple trees at the entrance of the farm’s long driveway. John was on another ladder by a tree on the other side. Snow piled up around the ladders, the sun peeking out of the scattered clouds and making the fresh snow glitter like diamonds.
In his parka, woolen hat, and work boots, Hunter stood in the middle of the curving country road as he peered up. Nick couldn’t hear any vehicles approaching, but still. “Would you hurry up and get off the road?”
Hunter huffed a laugh and stepped closer. “Okay. It’s good.”
Nick and John climbed down, and the three of them stood back enough to peer up at the banner.
Toys, Turkeys & Trees Annual Holiday Fundraising Extravaganza
“This is going to be epic,” John said. “I can’t believe Hunter talked you into it again. But I also can’t believe he convinced you to let people cut down their own trees this season.”
Nick grumbled. “Me either.”
Hunter grinned. “It wasn’t so bad, and you know it.”
“Maybe not.” Nick tried to scowl but didn’t succeed, and Hunter’s grin brightened.
Along with working with Nick out on the farm, Hunter had taken on the marketing and communications for the business. He had ideas to grow revenue. One was to open the farm to the public for three weekends as the holiday season began at the end of November, letting people cut down their own trees and offering sleigh rides, hot chocolate and snacks, and wreath-making.
“Actually, the weekends were a huge success,” Hunter added. To John, he said, “And he knows it.”
“Oh, you’ve got this Grinch’s number all right.” John winked at Nick merrily, pushing his wire-frame glasses up his nose. “Before you know it, you’ll be playing Santa again, Nick.”
“Never going to happen.” Nick glared. “Never.”
“But you were so good at it!” John insisted, laughing and raising his hands. “Don’t worry, that rundown Santa’s Village is no more.” He checked his watch. “Okay, I’ve gotta run. Des, Pam, and I will be back tomorrow morning to help set up. Oh, and Tim and his new boyfriend volunteered to come early.”
“My friend Shelby’s in town, so she’s coming to help too,” Hunter said.
John exclaimed, “It’s going to be even better than last year. I can feel it!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Nick muttered, but he gave his friend a smile.
“Want me to drop you guys off back up at the house?”
Hunter and Nick shared a glance, and Hunter said, “I wouldn’t mind the walk, actually.” Nick nodded, and they waved goodbye to John as he climbed into his SUV and drove off.
In tandem, Nick and Hunter reached for each other, clasping their gloved hands as they ambled up the long, plowed driveway, curving through the trees for a couple of kilometers. Their boots crunched in the packed snow, breath pluming in the cold air.
“I haven’t walked along here since that first time,” Hunter said with a smile. “Hard to believe it’s been a year.”
Nick squeezed his fingers. “Time flies. This journey should be a little more pleasant.”
“Let’s hope so.” Hunter grinned, his blue eyes sparkling as he gave Nick a quick kiss with cold lips.
Playing outside, Ella greeted them like conquering heroes when she spotted them approaching the house, and they indulged her in scratches and pets until they all went inside.
Hunter chided Ella when she tried to jump up and swipe at the end of a sparkly red, gold, and green garland that had come unstuck from around one of the wooden support beams in the kitchen.
Chuckling, Nick got out the tape and fixed the garland before flipping the light switch that powered the multicolored Christmas lights strung around the bannister and along the railing of the landing along the open second-floor hallway.
The switch also powered the Christmas tree dominating the corner to the right of the fireplace. As the colored lights gleamed, silver tinsel sparkled, a hodgepodge of old and new ornaments glittering. Wrapped presents to each other filled the space below the Scotch pine. They’d learned the hard way the previous week not to put anything under there if they didn’t know what it was after an incident with Ella and a box of After Eights from a vendor.
It had been forever since Nick had actually had his own Christmas tree. Ironic given he farmed the things, and he found he loved the fresh scent that filled their home.
Home.
It really was a home again. It hadn’t always been easy—he and Hunter definitely argued sometimes, although the makeup sex was…remarkable. As was all the sex, and he was looking forward to having a lot of it in the weeks to come.
With the hard work of the year done as Christmas approached in a few short days, it was a relief. Once the charity event was over, Nick looked forward to relaxing in front of the fire with Hunter and Ella. Although he and Hunter—ninety-five percent Hunter—had somehow volunteered to host Christmas dinner, so there would be lots of cooking to do.
Lighting the stack of wood and kindling waiting, Nick smiled to himself. He’d cooked a lot more in the past year since Hunter was such an enthusiastic eater, so he didn’t really mind. In fact, he relished it. Hunter liked cooking as well, and they often chopped and stirred together, listening to a podcast or audiobook, Ella at their feet hoping for them to drop something delicious.
Nick ran his fingers over the soft cotton of the three stockings hung from the wooden mantel, their names inscribed in curly gold script on the red material.
Nick, Hunter, Ella
There was an addition to the collection of framed photos as well—a selfie of him and Hunter, sweaty with their shears over their shoulders after a long day of summer work, satisfied smiles on their faces and wide-brimmed hats on their heads.
In the other corner of the living room, Hunter was humming to himself and fiddling with the old stereo. Then jazzy Christmas music flowed through the room, and Nick’s heart clenched.
“Is that the Ella Fitzgerald CD?” he asked.
Hunter picked up the case. “Yep. Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas. There’s a lot of her, actually.” He laughed. “Oh! I just realized where our Ella got her name!”
Nick smiled softly. “Yes.” He paused, then added, “Eric loved Ella Fitzgerald. I haven’t listened to those old CDs in years.”
Hunter’s beautiful face creased. “Do you want me to turn it off?”
You’d better not. This is the greatest holiday album of all time. It deserves to be heard.
Nick smiled at Eric’s voice in his head. He heard it less frequently these days, but once in a while Eric would appear with a piece of wisdom. To Hunter, Nick said, “No. It deserves to be heard. Thank you for finding it.”
He turned back to tend to the fire as the wonderful smell of burning wood filled the house along with Ella’s smooth, jazzy Christmas tunes. Hunter went upstairs, and Nick was humming when he heard him return, the steps creaking.
“I found something else,” Hunter announced.
Nick turned, his breath stolen and desire sparking like the kindling in the fireplace. Hunter stood on the bottom step wearing the old elf costume. After a year of manual labor, the green jacket was an even smaller fit, and he’d left it open over his bare chest. The candy-cane tights were obscene, hiding nothing. His feet were bare, and the green velvet elf hat and fake ears sat on his head.
Hunter held up a bundle of white-trimmed red velvet. “Santa, I
’ve been a very naughty boy.”
“Oh, I know you have.” Nick crooked his finger, love and lust filling him completely, making him whole.
Their Ella barked in the kitchen, Ella Fitzgerald crooning about birds of a feather as Hunter and Nick met by the hearth with hands and mouths, hearts soaring.
THE END
Where the Lovelight Gleams
BY KEIRA ANDREWS
About Where the Lovelight Gleams
Will co-stars take their romance offscreen this Christmas?
Actor Ryan Drake is pining. He may get to kiss gorgeous Cary Holloway on the set of their hit sci-fi TV show, but he knows it’ll never happen in real life. Charming Cary—the son of Hollywood royalty—has a starlet girlfriend, and despite their sizzling onscreen chemistry, he and Ryan are just friends. Right?
But Christmas is a time for unexpected gifts, and Cary accepts Ryan’s last-minute invite to leave the palm trees behind and spend the holiday with the Drakes at their cabin in the Great White North.
Amid the snow and mistletoe, Ryan struggles to keep his longing under wraps. Little does he know, Cary’s coming to terms with his bisexuality and deep attraction to his co-star. Will these actors have the courage to make their romance real—or will it be only in their dreams?
Dedication
To Rachel and Lisa for celebrating Christmas in July with Ryan and Cary.
Chapter One
Chest heaving, Ryan slammed the door behind him and leaned against it. “I should’ve just kept my big mouth shut,” he muttered. “He’s never going to like me the way I like him. God, I’m such an idiot!”
Pounding footsteps preceded a forceful knock. Ryan waited, breath lodged in his throat.
Cary’s voice rang out. “I know you’re in there. Open the door! Please.”
Gay Romance Holiday Collection Page 30
