He leaned his elbows on his knees. “I had wondered at your logic. See? I’m not the smartest man in the world. I, too, have my moments.”
She covered her mouth to suppress her giggles.
“I know nothing about gifts.”
That sobered her. “Have you ever received a gift?”
“Does food count?”
She nodded.
“When I was a boy, strangers gave me food when they knew I was hungry.”
He was opening up to her again.
This was the Leo she liked most. There was no false charm or misdirected anger.
It made her able to look at him and see nothing more than a man. A man who’d been hurt.
“That doesn’t count, Leo. You were a child. Did your family not feed you?” she asked.
He ran his hands through his hair and leaned his head on a fist. “Sometimes, but I came and went. I left as much as I could.”
She wanted to know about the awful things in his childhood. She wanted to take that pain away. She turned to the small basket of music sheets by her piano. “Here.”
“What is that? Oh, no, is that a gift?” He looked at it warily.
“Yes, it’s a gift.”
“I can’t accept it.” He stared at it with an expression of longing. “I don’t deserve it.”
Madison sighed. “My arm is hurting. It could be affecting the baby.”
He chuckled and then let out a great breath before he got up and crossed the room to her. He snatched the papers and glared down at her. “Why would you give me this? Now I can’t claim that I’ve never been given a gift. You’re making me appear soft.”
“How terrible of me.” She smiled.
“Thank you,” he murmured. He stared at the music. “Is it your song?”
“Yes. Can you read it?”
“Not at all.” He pressed it to his chest. “But my… friend can.”
“Your friend?” Her lips curled up. “A woman?”
He turned away and walked back to the couch. “No, the young man I mentioned. The ten-year-old.”
“I think that’s wonderful.”
He took a more comfortable position on the couch, leaning into the corner. “What’s so wonderful?”
“That a ten-year-old would take pity on you by becoming your friend.”
He laughed. His teeth were perfect.
He was devastating to look at when he did that. Madison decided she’d pray for the poor woman who ended up marrying him.
“What’s his name?”
“Wess.” He stared at her after he said the name.
“What?” She wondered if there was bread on her lips again.
But he shook his head and turned away. “Nothing.”
“What is it?”
“No, honestly, it was nothing.”
“Lord Leo, I demand to know what you’re thinking.”
He looked at her again. “I was wondering whether you’d take pity on me and become my friend as well.”
She stilled and looked down.
“I knew it was too much to ask,” he said. “Never mind.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. But one afternoon didn’t make up for everything else he’d done.
“Don’t apologize.” He stood. “Thank you for the music.”
She felt terrible watching him go, but she didn’t stop him. In truth, she was struggling to forgive him for the things he’d said to her weeks ago.
“Matthew plans to punish you once the baby is born. Perhaps, with the letter in hand, he might find more creative ways to do so.”
What sort of person said such things?
“There is a reason I am this way.”
“Leo?” she called suddenly. She wondered if he was too far to hear her.
His head popped into the doorframe only a second later. “Yes?”
She frowned. “Were you just standing outside the door?”
“Perhaps.” He stepped back into the room. “Did you need something?”
“Are you watching me? Did Matthew ask you to watch me?” She began to grow angry.
He lifted his hands. Her music was in one hand. “No. I was simply hoping you would change your mind.”
She relaxed. “Why? Why would you want to be my friend? I’ve little to offer.” It was how she felt with everyone. Why did her parents love her? Why had Geneve gone out of her way to assist her when there was a chance that Madison would never be able to pay her back?
He crossed his hands behind his back. “Because you grew up in a happy home with a father and mother who love you and when I tell you my story, you don’t look at me in judgment.”
“I judge you,” she told him honestly.
“But not for things outside of my control. You judge me for my own actions.”
That was true.
“Also, I want you to make Wess a basket. He’d like that.”
“I was going to do that anyway.”
His grinned. “Thank you.”
She gripped the bench and tapped her fingers against it.
Now was not the time to be reckless. She was close to getting everything she wanted most.
“I’ll teach you how to make a basket,” she said. “We’ll see what happens after that.”
His smile grew as though she’d said yes. He may not have grown up liked, but he was clearly spoiled by the admiration of others now.
“Do you only want to be my friend because I’m the only person in Oxford who seems able to resist you?”
He blinked. “Of course not.”
“I’ll think about it,” she said. “But I forgive you.” If she never got the chance to say it later, she wanted him to hear it now. “You, Lord Leonard Childs, are forgiven of all your many transgressions against me.”
∫ ∫ ∫
2 0
* * *
“Enjoy your trip?” Leo asked as Matthew strolled into a room in the east wing of his house.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Matthew shrugged out of his jacket and threw it on a couch that had been pushed against the wall.
The furniture in an old drawing room had been cleared back to make room for Matthew’s training. Leo had started it weeks ago, promising to teach Matthew how to defend himself if he gave up drinking.
He’d been surprised to find out that Matthew had kept his word even while Leo had been away. He’d marked Matthew’s decanter in his office to see if there would be the same level of brandy upon his return.
There was.
While the training helped Matthew release some of his anger, Leo could tell the sobriety was driving him mad and forcing him to face all the many issues in his life.
His father’s death. His best friend’s murder. And Madison’s betrayal.
He didn’t know what had changed her mood from yesterday, but he was certain it had nothing to do with Matthew’s treatment of her. Why wouldn’t he let the woman leave the house unless she was in his sight?
Leo had tried to speak to him about that, but Matthew gave him very little.
Matthew took off his shirt. He was more defined. He’d always been well built, but his muscles were becoming more pronounced.
Boots off and with nothing but his beeches on, Matthew started the regime that would warm up his blood and make him ready for the next step.
Leo decided to use this time to talk to him. “We should talk about your father’s death.”
“No.” Matthew didn’t even look at him. He was horizontal with the floor. He balanced his toes and palms on the hardwood. His elbows bent, he pushed up and then went back down.
“We should talk about Judd’s murder.”
Matthew blew out a breath. “No.”
“We could talk about Madison.”
Matthew stilled. He was silent. “I don’t want to talk about her.” It took another moment for him to resume his flow.
Leo held his hands behind his back. He had no clue what he was doing, but he genuinely wanted to help Matthew. It was ra
re for him to focus on anything other than work and Wess, but this family had him fixated.
Especially since he’d found Madison’s letters to Judd last night.
They’d been easy to find, actually. Because of the ‘sudden’ infestation at Arland House, Leo had been able to walk around freely. The servants had all scattered. No one wished to be around the rats. Leo didn’t mind then. In some of the places he’d slept as a young man, rats had been considered pets.
He’d found the stack of letters in a desk on the main floor. At the bottom was a love letter.
As he’d looked around Arland’s home, he wondered if anything had been touched at all. Every bill of service and purchase he’d found had said Judd’s name. Though the new family had moved in, it didn’t appear that anyone had thought to clear the old viscount’s items out.
Madison’s letter had been moving to say the least. There had been a level of love that Leo hadn’t known her capable of. He’d thought her heart made of stone until he’d read her passages to another man.
He’d been angered that she would do this to Matthew but couldn’t help noting the happiness in the letter’s tone. There’d been no dates, but the letters had been just as well-worn as Judd’s letter to Madison. They’d both read their letters over and over again.
They’d been devoted to their love.
So where had Matthew fit in all of that?
And there had been other things…
He’d asked around town. Apparently, Judd and Matthew’s fathers had been like brothers, so much so that if one knew something, the other likely knew about it as well.
“We should really talk about one of these things,” Leo said.
“We can talk about whether you’re going to take Lord Cumpterton’s offer.” Matthew lifted a brow. “Are you staying?”
Are you staying?
Leo was very used to being asked that question. His brothers always wanted him to stay. Wess wanted him to stay. Did Matthew?
For the first time, Leo was considering it. Wess would be attending Oxford in a few years. It wouldn’t be terrible to still be close to him during those final years of his education.
Perhaps they could even live together as Wess already wanted. Leo had seen a house just on the outskirts of the city and had inquired with the neighbor for the property.
But honestly, Leo didn’t know what he’d do. The thought of staying anywhere for longer than a few weeks had him breaking out into a sweat.
But would he ever get such a great opportunity again? Not only was there a prestigious position before him, but there was Wess. He’d finish Heaton at eighteen. He’d be a man by then. Surely, there’d be less of a chance of Leo ruining him after that.
Once Wess’ time as Oxford drew to an end, Leo would see less and less of the boy.
Matthew and Madison’s baby had him considering things he hadn’t before.
“Well?” Matthew asked.
“We’re not here to talk about me but you.” He wasn’t ready to make a decision. “Think of it as part of your training. The death, the murder, or love. You choose.”
Matthew was running back and forth in the room. “What if I told you it was murder, murder, and revenge?”
Leo blinked. This was the first time Matthew had said anything of this nature. Was it possible that helping Matthew would also help himself? “Your father was murdered?”
“In the same way Judd was.”
Leo had to ask, “Did you do it?”
Matthew slowed and turned to face him. “If I did, what would you do?”
Leo didn’t know. Matthew would be far from the first murderer he’d met. “I’d ask you why. Did you kill Judd?”
Matthew shook his head in denial. “No, and I’m done talking about it.” He approached Leo. His skin glistened from his regime. “I’m ready.”
“Very well. Try to hit me.”
Matthew smiled. “With pleasure.”
* * *
Leo searched Matthew’s office later that evening. The house was quiet. He thought everyone asleep. But he was wrong.
“What are you looking for?” Matthew asked.
Leo straightened away from the desk.
Matthew didn’t seem surprised to see him. “Why are you here, my lord? Truly, why did you come to Oxford?”
Leo crossed his arms. “Do you truly wish to know?”
Matthew said nothing.
Leo looked him over and didn’t see a weapon. He would have to fight him.
But Matthew didn’t move. His eyes held no anger. Only question.
Leo sat on the corner of the desk. “I didn’t come here because Judd stole something from me. I came because I’m looking for a connection.”
“What sort of connection?”
“Have you heard about The Circle?” Leo watched Matthew closely. He could detect lies pretty well, especially after spending a significant amount of time with them.
“Why?”
That was a yes.
“I wish to find them. They’ve done some very bad things that I wish them to answer for.”
“The Circle killed my father,” Matthew said. “Might have killed Judd’s father as well… and Judd.”
Leo slumped. Matthew was who he should have been talking to all along.
“What did they do to you?”
“Nothing as personal as yours. I’m sorry to hear it. I know you loved your father.”
Matthew crossed his arms. “When I met you, I’d already heard about you.”
“I know. You wanted to get on my brother’s land.”
“Yes, but I’d heard about your history here. The carriage races. The fights...”
Leo narrowed his eyes. “Is that why you asked me to train you?”
Matthew shrugged. “You won’t find anything here. Everything I have on them I keep in the library.”
Leo followed Matthew out of the office and into the next room. He remained cautious as he watched Matthew open a drawer in the writing desk. Then he turned with nothing but papers in his hand. He offered them to Leo. “This is all I have.”
Leo took it. “Thank you.” He quickly scanned a few words.
“I think it started here,” Matthew said.
“What did?”
“The Circle. I think it started at Oxford. I think my grandfather was in it.” Matthew frowned. “I think my father may have been in it as well, but I don’t know.”
Leo would cross-reference the names he’d brought with him with anyone who’d studied at Oxford. That would take time. He’d have to go to the campus and look through their official books. “I’ll make sure I give these back to you.”
Matthew nodded and started out of the room.
“Matthew.”
The young man turned around.
“You should speak to Madison.”
“She knows nothing about The Circle.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Was the man being obtuse on purpose?
Matthew’s expression seemed torn between regret and anger. Then something troubling entered his blue irises. It was cold and calculating. “I wouldn’t waste my time worrying about Madison if I were you.”
Leo didn’t want him and Madison to go down this road. He’d gotten to know them and wanted them to be happy, like Lord and Lady Cumpterton.
He envied Madison her family. The more time he’d spent with Lord Cumpterton, the more Leo began to see a different side of life. He’d grown used to living in the dark. The light had made him uncomfortable at first, but he could no longer deny its pull.
Not that he would ever marry. He knew better. He could enjoy the light from a distance, allow its rays to touch his skin and warm him every once in a while, but he could never possess it as Lord Cumpterton did.
As Madison did. She was not perfect, but there was good in her. Why couldn’t Matthew see that?
Leo tried one last time. “Something has changed in Madison. Did you notice? She actually ate at dinner.” A first from what Leo had seen. “P
erhaps things could change.” He lifted a hopeful brow.
Matthew was quiet and then said, “I’ll speak to her.”
∫ ∫ ∫
2 1
* * *
“How did I mess this up so badly? This should have been an easy thing.”
Madison giggled behind her hand as she examined Leo’s basket.
They’d sat their baskets side by side. Hers was perfect.
His, however...
It had been woven with a prominent lean, making it asymmetrical. “It’s still… lovely to look at. You could keep items with less value in it.” Anything he didn’t mind falling out.
She laughed at his sour expression.
They were in her receiving room, sitting across from one another.
Leo ran his hand through his hair. He was smiling now, but she could sense he was holding something back. They’d talked about many subjects over the last few hours, but she could sense something pressing on him.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I’d like to play our game again.”
Her heart raced. She knew which game he meant. The question game. “I’d rather not.”
“Why not? We can keep the same rules as before. I’ll answer any question you have.”
“But there is nothing I wish to know about you.” Actually, there were a great many things she wanted to know about him, but nothing was worth giving up her own secrets. Now was not the time for games.
After noticing her words offended him, she said, “I already know everything I need to know about you.”
“Which is?”
“You’re a charmer, and you’ll use that charm to get whatever you want.”
He placed his elbows on his knees and laced his fingers together. “That isn’t entirely wrong. How about this, if you don’t wish to answer a question then look away. But that means I get to ask another.”
She shook her head.
“I’m trying to help.”
“To what gain? What is it you truly want?”
He blinked. “To help you. Nothing else.”
She pulled in a breath and wondered if he knew about her plan with Geneve. She prayed not. It was one thing to laugh with this man, but she wasn’t fool enough to trust him.
“To help you and Matthew,” he said.
She released her breath. “Leo, you’re wasting your time.”
The Long Awaited Lord Page 10
