there was a lump in my throat I coughed looked away and said nothing she gasped the weather from cold or fear was something I’d never know been showing sudden superhuman determination she took a step forward and then another wincing at the moment the true cold made itself known her teeth chattered her first few attempts to speak were obliterated by fear and shattering teeth but then she took a deep breath and exhale dal Ong plume of vapor this really is for the best Andrea you’ve been a good friend I could not quite bring myself to agree out loud I’ll see you she said very soon and then she lowered her head and began to run arms pumping knees bending at the edge of the promontory to land form and distance to her leap what I saw before she disappeared from view looked like the beginnings of a champion quality dive I went to the edge and searched until I found her her face was still visible a pale oval in sharp contrast with the black water around it twisted by emotions that may have included regret or fear direct contact with surf that cold must have felt like being stabbed with a thousand knives but even as I watched and wondered whether I should have offered her some more humane way her anguish disappeared replaced by a preternatural calm that might have included joy it almost mocked me that look it said my suffering is over but you have so much left then she closed her eyes and was gone I fell to my knees tried to weep and failed after a while I stood up and began to gather her clothes as evidence that I’d arrived too late to prevent her suicide the temperature dropped still further as I trudged back toward the Chi embassy it was just below freezing but below safe as the wind began to build my ears felt like dead weights and I began to curse the obstinacy that had led me to travel the distance on foot all principle aside I was relieved when I saw the skimmer flying low from the direction of that distant white pylon it circled me once then settled to a stop before me its two passengers watching as I dragged myself the remaining few steps and climbed aboard the air inside its psionic field was toasty far beyond the gentle warmth I’d expected my skin burned smarting from the insertion of a thousand red-hot needles she’s gone they said I nodded yes willingly I laid out her options she understood even thanked me I wish I could approve of that the Porrinyard said they’d understood after a long argument that there was no other way to deal with Fox but it added this to their long list of reasons to resent me she also asked me to look in on her daughter I’ll have to do that before we leave they nodded you better they had calmed a little after that terrible moment when they’d walked away from me Skye had even grinned and exalted do you know what you did you just out lawyer Dan ancient omniscient intelligence but the cold had crept back in as I prepared to take care of this one last remaining loose end they’d felt a considerable grudging affection for Fox that might have come from the same emotional place as the considerable grudging affection they’d felt for me or had felt for me since they’d made it very clear to me they could not live with an Andrea Court incapable of living with what she’d done Andrea cored herself wasn’t the worst thing to have lost against the fatal blow to the Villani and the even greater catastrophe coming for Humanity she was barely worth complaining about but I couldn’t help brood about it as the pylon approached there was so much I’d miss the strangeness of their two voices speaking as one the symphony of their bodies acting in unison against mine their acts of breathtaking kindness and the equal pleasure they’d always taken in baiting me I’d been a different person in the three years I had known them then I’d been in all the years that came before I’d missed that person too I might not have liked her all that much more than the monster she’d been before the porn yards entered her life but she’d proven capable of surprising me showing depths that I never would have suspected part of me wish that I could put off the inevitable and spend the rest of my life getting to know her maybe even teaching her somehow that even her sins could be forgiven but that Andrea Court was also a broken system
she’d been broken by Bo CAI and by the dip core and by the AI source and now by the unseen demons after Vlad she was so broken that any further blow might shatter her into uselessness it was time to do the only thing that made sense and put her out of her misery collecting the shards before they scattered it was time to end her life if not quite in the way that Fox had ended hers then in another no less final once we landed at the embassy grounds I gathered up foxes things and got up to go present Raik with my official report Skye surprised me by taking my wrist both Porrinyards regarded me through identical stricken expressions the same look they’d been trying unsuccessfully to repress since picking me up it’s alright I told them no it’s not I love you I know you think I’ll leave you forever if you don’t join our link but I won’t force you to give up who you are just to become something you’re not ready to become we can find some other way to help you carry the weight I almost laughed at them as smart as they were as special as they were they honestly didn’t understand
Andrea Cort 03: War of the Marionettes Page 30
