I gave him a peck on the cheek and his five o’clock shadow tickled my lips. My dad didn’t shave as much now that he was retired and seemed to have a little bit of grey stubble whenever I saw him.
“Thanks for letting me use your car,” I said.
My dad was not one for outward displays of affection but I knew he secretly loved it when I kissed him. He gave me a hint of a smile, which for him probably seemed like a huge grin.
Even though he no longer worked in the field, my dad still had the demeanor of an engineer. Things for him were always logical and rationale, black and white, while I seemed to always end up muddling around in the gray area most of the time.
My dad still had a thick head of hair but he’d gone completely gray; what now seemed like years ago. I also noticed that since he’d been retired, he developed a bit of a paunch. He was never a skinny man but when he worked, he always tried to stay fit. Now age and gravity seemed to have gotten the best of him.
My mom must have heard my voice from the kitchen because she hurried into the study to join us.
“How’s the research going?” my mom asked as she gave me a peck on the cheek.
“It’s fine,” I sighed.
My mom’s eyes narrowed. “That doesn’t sound fine.”
“I got assigned a new lab partner. He’s also my supervisor, so it’s a little intimidating. I kind of feel like I’m the one under the microscope being examined rather than the one doing the examining.”
“I’m sure you’ll do just fine,” she said. I knew she was trying to be reassuring but she had a way of making her words of encouragement sound trite.
“I need an excellent recommendation for graduate school,” I said.
“You’ve always been good in science,” my mom stated.
“Yes, but this isn’t just sitting in a classroom, taking notes and studying for an exam. This is a practical application of everything I’ve learned.”
My dad finally joined the conversation. “When I did my first internship in engineering, it was a disaster. Or at least I felt like it was. But I ended up getting a full-time job at the place I interned at right after graduation. It was my first full-time job.”
“Are you saying you think my internship is going to be a disaster?” I joked.
My dad patted my shoulder. “Absolutely not. I’m just saying if it is, it’s not the end of the world. So don’t sweat it.”
“Do you want to join us for dinner?” my mom asked.
I gulped. I wasn’t sure I wanted my parents to know about Jude yet. We hadn’t even gone on our first date yet and I wasn’t sure how much I really liked him beyond the overwhelming lust that seemed to surge between us.
And there was also the problem of Sawyer, who I knew I liked a lot but who didn’t seem to want to be with me.
“I have a date tonight,” I said cautiously.
I could see my mom stiffen. “It’s not with the boy in the wheelchair, is it?”
I could feel my jaw tighten. It was hard for me to accept how ignorant my mom was sometimes, especially when it came to Sawyer.
“No, it’s not,” I snapped.
Despite my tone, my mom looked happy. She exhaled the breath she apparently had been holding. “I’m glad. You don’t need to burden yourself with that kind of baggage.”
I could feel my entire body bristle. It didn’t seem possible that she would ever accept Sawyer—and the only reason was because of his wheelchair. She didn’t even know him.
“I’m going out with Jude Marino. I met him at The Little Theater.” My mom’s eyes widened and I could see her fitting the pieces of the puzzle together. “And before you ask, yes, his mother is Judge Marino. And apparently, at least according to Jude, she did assign me to community service there because she wanted me to meet her son.”
I don’t think I had ever seen her look so excited. “This is fantastic,” she practically screamed. “You should be with someone who is more like you.”
More like me? What is that supposed to mean, I wondered. “Jude is actually nothing like me,” I blurted.
My mom’s eyebrows shot up. I think she realized I was going to start saying things she didn’t want to hear. I was surprised she didn’t cover her ears and starting humming like little kids do when they don’t want to hear something.
“Jude loves acting. He loves theater. He’s artsy and brooding and intense. How is that anything like me?”
My mom’s jaw nearly dropped to the ground. I had an idea what she meant by more like me but I wanted her to say it out loud.
“Truth be told, I’m much more like Sawyer. We both love science. Neither of us can imagine doing anything else with our lives. We both laugh at the same things. He actually makes me laugh all the time. He’s one of the few people I feel like I can totally be myself around.”
The more I talked about Sawyer, the more I realized I missed him.
When I glanced over at my dad, his brow was furrowed and he had concern in his eyes. I knew he wouldn’t stand up to my mom. They had been married over twenty-five years and I don’t think he every stood up to her in all those years. I had never seen him do it my entire life.
My mom’s jaw was set and she was starting to breathe much more heavily. I knew those signs—she was trying to control a full blown eruption of anger and frustration.
“Will you please stop thinking about Sawyer? He’s in a wheelchair, for God’s sake. Can you really see yourself married to someone in a wheelchair? Do you want that burden the rest of your life? Be sensible. Jude sounds like a real catch. His mother’s a judge. He’s obviously from a good family. Would you at least try and give him a chance?”
I glared at my mother. “I told you I’m going out with him. I am giving him a chance.”
My dad looked like he wanted to say something but he wisely kept his mouth shut. He had to live with her, I didn’t.
“Will you let me know how the date goes?” my mom asked She seemed to have calmed down a bit.
“Yes,” I said. I felt resigned to my fate. She was probably already planning my wedding to Jude in her head. Nothing like getting way ahead of yourself.
My mom played with my hair. “You’ve grown into such a beautiful young woman. Any young man would be lucky to have you. Don’t sell yourself short.”
I knew what she was implying. If I got together with Sawyer, she thought I’d be settling for less than I could get. I wished she could see Sawyer the way I saw him. The more I had time to think about it, the more I realized how perfect for me he actually was. But I seemed to be the only person who recognized it.
I pulled away from my mom. “I really have to go.”
“Have fun,” I heard her yell after me as I headed out the door.
Seven
Jude was five minutes early. I wasn’t expecting that. For some reason, I thought he was going to be fashionably late. As I made my way to my front door, I was surprised to hear my cell phone chirp.
A text? Who would be texting me? Jude was waiting at the door.
My heart started to race when I saw the text was from Sawyer. Did he know I had a date with Jude tonight? How was that possible? We hadn’t spoken to each other. Had he talked to Jude?
The text said: If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever.
It was an Alfred Lord Tennyson quotation.
I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. My head was swirling with so many thoughts I had to steady myself on the door frame. I had no idea what Sawyer was trying to say and I didn’t have time to think about it.
Jude knocked on the door again. I knew I couldn’t keep him waiting. I wasn’t sure how to respond to Sawyer’s text anyway, so I tossed my phone in my purse.
When I opened the door, I was stunned. Jude looked amazing. He was a great looking guy, one of the best looking guys I’d even seen, but at the theater, he always dressed in black jeans and tight fitting black T-shirts.
Tonight, he was wearing da
rk dress slacks and a green button-down shirt that seemed to match perfectly with his green eyes. He was even wearing dress shoes instead of the old black boots he always wore. He completely took my breath away.
Apparently, I wasn’t the only breathless one. Jude sucked in air as he eyed me from head to toe. “You look beautiful,” he murmured. Then I caught him licking his bottom lip.
I had to admit that I went all out to make an impression. I wasn’t sure, though, if I did it for me or my mom. She said she wanted me to do my best to impress him so I wore a dress that she bought me and had not yet had an occasion to wear. It was low cut, short, tight-fitting, black and I paired it with some black pumps. I spent a little extra time on my hair and makeup and I guess it worked because Jude was looking at me like I was now the entrée and we having dinner in my apartment instead of a restaurant.
“I made a reservation at The Cellar Door,” Jude said. The Cellar Door was expensive. My parents had taken me there once to celebrate my graduation from high school and the fact that I’d gotten a scholarship for college. I was a little surprised he chose such an extravagant place for our first date. It must have shown on my face.
“Is that okay?” Jude sounded concerned.
“Oh, yeah. Sure,” I said although I felt like I was slowly being trapped. Wasn’t I supposed to be excited about going out with Jude? He was obviously going all out to impress me. “It sounds great.” I tried to sound enthusiastic but I just felt claustrophobic.
The Cellar Door was even more spectacular than I remembered. The place was the height of elegance and sophistication. I imagined it would give any restaurant in New York or Los Angeles a run for its money, although I had never actually traveled to either city. I was an Arizona girl, who only got as far as Las Vegas and San Diego.
I took in all of the twinkling lights that made the high ceilings look star filled. “Do you have a reservation?” the young woman at host area asked as we approached. When she finally looked up at us, her eyes went a little wider when she noticed Jude. She actually couldn’t take her bulging eyes off of him. Females seemed to have that reaction to him. They seemed to melt when they were in his presence.
Of course, she didn’t even bother to acknowledge my existence.
Jude gave the young woman his sexy half grin and I noticed a slight pang of jealously. I knew I didn’t have the right to be jealous. We weren’t a couple. But it still bothered me that he didn’t have a smile that was just for me. He smiled at me the way he smiled at every other girl.
Sawyer had one, though. A special smile just for me. I noticed it when we went out to dinner. Of course he smiled at other girls, and his smile was always charismatic. But when he smiled at me, his smile was just a little more crooked than it usually was, his face held a little bit of humor and his eyes danced.
“Reservation for two for Marino,” Jude said and it actually startled me a bit. Part of me wished I was here with Sawyer instead of Jude and I knew that was really wrong.
I just couldn’t stop thinking about him.
The hostess led us to our table. It was in a secluded area, near the back of the restaurant. Despite the fact that the place was packed, it was still fairly quiet. I attributed it to good acoustical design as well as the fact that most of the patrons were speaking in subdued voices. This wasn’t the type of place where families brought screaming kids. Actually, I hadn’t noticed children anywhere in the place.
We were seated at our table, which was already decorated with a lit candle and fresh flower., and handed menus the size of a small Bible.
“Lots of choices,” I joked as I weighed the hefty menu in my hands.
Jude smiled and it was the same smile he had given the hostess. I don’t know why it bothered me so much but it did.
And I don’t know why I kept comparing him to Sawyer but I did.
I really needed to get a grip. I was out with a gorgeous guy at one of the finest restaurants in Arizona, I wanted to enjoy it.
“Have you been here before?” Jude asked.
“Just once,” I said. “To celebrate my graduation from high school and my college scholarship.”
“Scholarship, huh? What’s your major?”
“Ecology and Evolutionary Biology.”
He blinked a few times and his expression changed as if he was trying to register what I just said. Maybe it wasn’t what he was expecting me to say.
“Isn’t that Sawyer’s major, too?”
Why did he have to bring up Sawyer? I was just starting to think about Jude and now Sawyer was in the forefront again.
I nodded.
His expression changed again and he looked at me with a bit of desire in his eyes. “I think I told you how much smart girls turn me on.”
He was starting to lay it on thick—maybe a bit too thick. It was like something took over inside of him and he started acting like a hot guy, with all the right lines and all the right moves, instead of just being Jude.
“Yeah, you did.” I opened my menu and had to stifle a little gasp when I noticed the prices.
“What do you like to eat?” Jude asked. He hadn’t opened his menu yet.
“Almost anything. I’m not that picky.”
“The prime rib is really good.”
“Do you come here a lot?”
He nodded. “My parents are foodies. And they’re kind of snobs when it comes to restaurants. They don’t do less than four stars.”
“I know your mom’s a judge. What does your dad do?”
He heaved a sigh. “My dad doesn’t actually do a lot right now. He came from a wealthy family so he really just manages his wealth. Does that sound bad?”
I shrugged. “I don’t think I’m in a position to judge.”
“That’s one of the many things I like about you. You don’t judge people. That’s probably why Sawyer likes you so much.”
Why did he have to keep bringing up Sawyer? It was starting to piss me off. “What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“About Sawyer?”
I nodded.
“It’s just…” He seemed hesitant to finish his sentence. I waited. He was the one who brought it up. He needed to man up and say what he started to say.
“The guy’s in a wheelchair. I think that’s hard for a lot of girls to accept. I know he gets dumped a lot. I think girls get curious, so they agree to go out with him. Maybe fool around a little. But they don’t want to really date him. And who can blame them? Who wants to get serious with a guy in a wheelchair?”
I do, I thought and then couldn’t believe the words just popped into my head like that.
I never thought about getting serious with anyone—ever. It was the furthest thing from my mind. And Sawyer and I never even actually went out on a date. We never kissed. Never got intimate in any way. The idea of getting serious with Sawyer was ridiculous. But once Jude said it, I couldn’t get the idea out of my head.
Jude continued talking and I was really glad he couldn’t read my mind. He actually didn’t have much intuition or ability to read people—or at least not me anyway. It was like he was so focused on himself and his own agenda, there was a lack of real, authentic connection with the other person.
“I kinda feel sorry for the guy. I mean, he used to be a real stud. Before the accident, he could get any girl he wanted. He could get them to do anything he wanted whenever he wanted. Now he has to settle for whatever he can get. It must really suck.”
I could feel my entire body tense as Jude continued to put down Sawyer. Part of me wanted to excuse myself from the table and never come back. But I was sure Jude wasn’t alone in his prejudice. I was willing to bet a lot of people thought the same thing. My mom practically said the same thing; she just did it in a more elegant way. But ignorant words, no matter how you dress them up, are still ignorant. Kind of like putting lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig.
I thought I’d better change the subject quickly if there was any hope of salvaging the date. “So why’d you decide to
get into acting?”
He gave me his standard sexy grin. I could tell we were now moving on to his favorite subject—himself.
After telling me every detail of his acting experience, beginning in kindergarten, and following every anecdote with and it was obvious to everyone that I had natural talent and was destined to be an actor, I breathed a sigh of relief when the waiter came to take our orders.
I ordered exactly what Jude ordered, which was of course, the prime rib he suggested. And it was time for Round Two of How Jude Became an Actor. This time, he described all of his community theater experiences and how much everyone loved him and encouraged him to get out to LA as soon as possible.
I felt badly but the only thing I kept thinking was that I wanted him to be quiet. He was so much better looking when he kept his mouth shut.
As we were taking out last bites of our meal, which was delicious, Jude finally stopped talking about himself.
“So, why haven’t you gone to LA yet?” I knew it was mean but I was tired of his ego.
I could see him deflate just a little bit but he recovered just as quickly. “The timing has to be perfect.”
I had a feeling it had little to do with timing and more to do with fear. Right now, he was a very big fish in a rather small pond. In LA, he’d been just another one of the hundreds of thousands of other actors, all just as good looking and talented, trying to make it in the business.
I have to admit, I was thrilled when the waiter brought the check.
“I had a great time,” Jude said as we headed back to his car. He drove a Mercedes SL550 convertible, obviously a gift from his parents. I was sure there was no way he could afford such an extravagant car on the volunteer work he did at the community theater. Although he didn’t actually say it, I got the impression he didn’t do any other work.
Jude opened the door for me and when I was safely in the car, he walked around to the driver’s side and got in. I was surprised when Jude leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. “You’re really beautiful,” he whispered in my ear.
Community Service Page 9
