She crossed her arms over her chest. “No one else is volunteering for the job. He’s good enough to be your friend, but not good enough for me to date?”
I stood up and walked over to put the finished piece in my art portfolio. “Don’t group me into our friends. You know I’ve never been a fan of Austin’s. He’s a manwhore who screws everything with a pulse.”
She shot me a murderous look.
“If you want to date him, go ahead, but don’t come crying to me when he fucks you over.”
She gasped. I didn’t blame her. It took a lot for me to cuss in front of a woman, but her wanting to tell me all about her date rubbed me raw. I’d been in love with Brooke for the past three years, and I was sick of being her last choice.
“Why are you saying all of this now?” she demanded. “Why, when he finally wants to date me? Is it because you’re jealous?”
I closed my eyes and tried to control the shaking in my hands. There it is. She’d known all along, but she didn’t feel the same way. I finally had the confirmation that she really did know what it was like for me every day, and she didn’t give a damn about my feelings. I’d hoped the girls were wrong.
I couldn’t do this anymore. The ups and downs had to stop. I had to get off this nightmare of a carousel ride. “You need to leave,” I said calmly.
Her eyes widened in surprise. “What?”
I ran a hand down my face. “Get out, Brooke. If you think this is some kind of game to you, just leave right now. I can’t be around you.”
“Dom?” she asked, her voice small. “It’s not—I’m—”
“Sorry?” I laughed humorlessly. “Quinn and Riley had this stupid idea that you felt the same way. Go date Austin with my blessing. Good luck. You’re going to need it.”
I gripped the edges tightly. Fuck, now I was being cruel. That wasn’t what I wanted, but I couldn’t hold the bitterness at bay any longer. She’d fucking known about how I felt all along. I kept my back to her as she walked out of my room. She paused outside of my door.
“Dom, I—”
“Leave, Brooke. Right now you’re the last person I want to be around.”
I fought the urge to get up and slam my door in her face. Once I heard her shut the front door I got up and closed my bedroom door it very softly, flipping the lock as soon as it was shut. The last thing I wanted right now was an unwanted visitor.
Chapter Five
Brooke
Why am I such an idiot?
I was terrified I’d just lost my best friend—well, other than Caroline. My momma always said that one day I was going to get myself in trouble with my temper. She was right. I’d lashed out at Dom for something I hadn’t even known was true until that second. His reaction told me what everyone else already knew—he had feelings for me.
Dominic Torres had feelings for me.
This was totally surreal. And now he had feelings for me. Or apparently he had for a long time. From practically the second I met him our freshman year I’d had a crush on the gorgeous Hispanic man. His sexy, olive skin, those dark, obsidian eyes, and muscles for days.
Yum.
Dominic Torres was fucking hot.
Every girl I knew thought so. I didn’t know if I was lucky or stupid making him my friend so quickly into the first semester. We were close, but I’d convinced myself Dom just needed to be a friend. Maybe it was the offhand comment from Josh that he’d made about how I couldn’t just be friends with a guy. I took it to heart because to some extent, he was right. There wasn’t a guy I’d ever just been friends with.
So instead of chasing after Dom like I wanted, I set out to prove my brother wrong and made my second best friend in the world—only second to Caroline.
I walked across the parking lot in a daze, rain causing my hair to plaster itself against my head in seconds. Dom had never kicked me out of his apartment before, and I didn’t want to explain to Riley and Josh why I was back so soon. Hot tears streamed down my face, combining with the cold drops of rain water running down my face. I wanted to make it back to my room before I completely lost it.
I could feel the panic attack rising in my chest. The dread and the hurt I’d caused Dom weighed heavily on me and I didn’t know how to handle losing him. My goal was to get in the apartment, go to my room, then I could lose it. My mind started to cloud as I opened the door. Even if we managed to get past this, would we ever be the same?
Caroline glanced up from the couch when I walked into the apartment. She was curled up in the corner with one of her novels. I envied how happy and carefree she looked in that moment. I was a hot mess, soaked to the bone with stinging, red-rimmed eyes. Hopefully I could get past her without her catching on that something was wrong. I wasn’t ready to talk about it.
I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready to talk about losing Dominic.
“You’re home early. Was Dom on campus? I figured you’d be over there for hours.”
I should’ve been. Instead I pushed something I should’ve left alone. I choked back a sob, and she put down her book immediately.
“What’s wrong?”
I didn’t want to voice the words and make them true. “Dom—he—I,” I stammered.
Caroline climbed off the couch and came to wrap her arms around me. My breathing was labored, and the panic attack worked its way to the surface. For the first time in almost a year, my breath caught and the flush rose in my chest. There was white around my vision.
“Did everyone know except for me?” I asked when I could catch my breath.
She hugged me tighter. “Pretty much, although Josh is pretty clueless too.”
I hiccupped a sob. “I’m such an idiot.”
“No, honey, you’re not. He should have made a move or told you how he felt a long time ago.”
I laughed, but it sounded forced. “You and Hannah were right. I shoved him so far into the friend zone he was terrified to even try. It’s all my fault.”
She hugged me tighter. “Don’t think like that. It shouldn’t have taken Austin asking you out to make him finally say something. That isn’t fair to you if he just said something because he was jealous.”
I winced. “It wasn’t that. Care, I was such a bitch. He’s never going to talk to me again.”
The tears I’d been fighting back came out with a vengeance. Hard sobs wracked my body, making it difficult to breathe, and I worried I might never stop. I don’t know how long we stood there before she led me back to my room and sat me down on the bed. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as she found me dry clothes and started my shower.
“Shower, then you get one hour to cry. After that we’re going to sit down and talk about this. I’m afraid you need some tough love, friend. You’re going to have to make some hard decisions.”
I swallowed hard. Something told me I wasn’t going to like her tough love.
***
My panic attacks started during my freshman year of college. I was overwhelmed by the workload and being away from my hometown and all of my high school friends. Dom found me curled up in a ball on my dorm room floor one afternoon after one particularly bad one. I’d been able to hide it from Caroline even living in such close quarters, but to this day, I still have no idea how. He’d kept my secret but helped me find a psychiatrist to talk to. She helped me find the perfect balance of medicine and counseling. As much as I hated feeling weak, he’d been my rock. With the loss of my rock, counseling and meds only did so much.
It was difficult to know I was having a panic attack, and I couldn’t go to him for help. I’d confessed everything to Caroline a while ago, and she’d been encouraging about everything, but she hadn’t been there from the beginning to see how far I’d come. If I had to have anyone else by my side other than Dom, I was happy that it was Care. She made me a cup of tea after my shower and we sat on my bed, quietly leaning back into the headboard and staring into my room. Everything looked blurry through my tears, but it was too much effort to blink them away.
She took my hand in hers. “What do you mean?”
I sucked in a shuddery breath. “I wanted to see if you guys were right—if he actually had feelings for me—but it all came out wrong.” I dropped my head into my hands. “I’m such an idiot. He must think I was trying to hurt him. That’s probably why he got so angry.”
Caroline gave me a sad smile. “I’m sorry. Maybe if you explain to him—”
I shook my head and fought back a tremor. “It won’t work. He kicked me out of his apartment. Care, I’ve never seen him that mad before. Even when he and Austin were kicking the shit out of one another…” I trailed off. “He’s never going to talk to me again.”
She wiped my hair from my face. “Honey, that’s not true.”
“It is. Even if he does talk to me again, our relationship will never be the same.”
Caroline was quiet for a minute. “Why did you want to know? Today of all days?”
I bit down on my lip. I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell anyone about what I was feeling. Hell, I wasn’t even sure what I was feeling. I’d fought it back for so long.
“Things with Austin were…okay last night, but I didn’t get the butterflies I wanted.” I paused. “I expected more.”
“Do you get the butterflies with Dom?”
I stared out into my room, unable to look at her. “He almost kissed me the other day. I thought—I just—maybe.”
“B, are you saying you have feelings for Dom?”
“Maybe,” I whispered, terrified to say the words out loud. “I’m saying there could’ve been something there, and I just screwed it all up. Or maybe it’s always been there and I’ve ignored it.”
We sat in the quiet room for a few minutes, letting my words soak in.
“Are you ready for some tough love yet?”
I wasn’t sure, but I knew she would tell me anyway.
“You need to figure out if you want to try to pursue things with Austin—which you’ve wanted for a long time—or if you’re going to tell Dominic how you feel. I don’t want to push you one way or the other. I think we’ve all done too much of that already, but I will say this—make sure whoever you choose makes you happy. You can fix things with Dom. It might be weird for a while, but you two love each other too much not to be friends anymore, no matter who you choose.”
I sniffed. “I don’t know what I want.”
Liar.
I just wasn’t willing to say what I wanted out loud.
“They’re both good men. Austin still has a lot of growing up to do, but honestly, so does Dom. You just have to be willing to put your heart out there, B. Regardless of what you do, you need to talk to Dom—and soon. Don’t let this fester until it’s something oozy and infected.”
I giggled through my tears and laid my head on her shoulder. “You’re so gross.”
“I know, but you love me.”
“I do. And I always will, Care.”
Chapter Six
Dominic
It was time for me to move on. I couldn’t keep doing this to myself, constantly hoping for something that would never happen. My feelings for Brooke were one-sided; she’d all but confirmed that once and for all yesterday. As much as it hurt, maybe it was what I needed to get out and start dating again. If Brooke and I had a shot in hell at still being friends, it had to happen. The only problem was I didn’t have a clue where to start. It had been over a year and a half since I’d even been on a date.
After my run-in with Brooke, I’d expected Josh to pay me a visit, but so far no one had said anything. At the very least, I expected him to threaten me for making her cry. She’d tried hard not to let me see how upset she was, but I knew. After she left, it took me hours to leave my room, and when I did, I wasn’t pleasant to be around. Drew and I had spent Sunday night watching Game of Thrones and binging on pizza, which meant an inevitable trip to the gym today. At least it would help me keep my mind off Brooke and figuring out what the hell I was going to say the next time I saw her.
I gathered up my stuff quickly. I was running late for class again. I thought the library might be a better place for me to study, but instead I’d stared out the window for the past two hours like an asshole. As I turned to leave, I ran into someone, knocking their books out of their hands and almost taking them down in the process. Not them, her.
A very pretty her.
I gripped her shoulders to keep her from going down.
“I’m so sorry.” I leaned down to pick up the girl’s books. “I wasn’t watching where I was going and—”
She placed a hand on my wrist, and I glanced up into the bluest pair of eyes I’d ever seen. They were a deep ice cobalt color I could get lost in for days.
“It’s okay.” She smiled softly.
I handed her the books back and stood up, holding out my hand to help her up off the ground. Her hand lingered as she came up to her feet. “I’m Dominic, but my friends call me Dom.”
“Talia.” She tugged her books in closer to her chest. “Where are you off to in such a rush?”
I fought back a smile. “Organic chemistry, but I can be a few minutes late.”
For the first time in too long, I wanted to talk to a girl who wasn’t Brooke. She was gorgeous with those blue cat-like eyes, full pink lips, and high cheekbones. Talia could definitely model if she wanted to. I was mesmerized. God, I hoped there was more to her than a pretty face. Otherwise I was going to be right back in the same boat I was ten seconds ago.
“I’d like that.” She smiled and continued moving toward the library exit.
I followed behind her and shamelessly checked out her ass like any red-blooded guy would. It was phenomenal, just like the rest of her.
Our steps synced as I caught up with her. “Where were you running off to when I practically bowled you over?”
“I was looking for a spot to study, but I decided I wanted a coffee first. The rest is history.”
I grinned, thankful for the opening. “I’d love to buy you a coffee.”
She laughed, a melodic sound that mimicked bells. I’d known this girl all of five minutes, and I was enamored. “That wasn’t what I—”
I winked at her. “I know, but if it gives me a chance to talk to you, then I’ll take it. As much as I love organic chemistry I haven’t missed a class all semester, so I don’t think missing one now will matter much.”
A slight stretch of the truth, but she didn’t need to know that.
“I wish I felt that way about my poly sci classes. Most of them, I feel like time drags on. It could be that I have some of the world’s oldest politicians as professors.” She flashed me a quick smile. “I love the subject but hate the teachers.”
Talia paused as I opened the door to the student union for her, a slightly mystified look crossing her face before stepping inside ahead of me. I let it pass without mentioning it, but it made me wonder if she knew many guys who had manners. We were in Texas after all. At least some of the guys she knew should be opening doors for her.
It took us a few minutes to get our drinks and get settled. We ended up on the couch Brooke and I were sitting on a few days earlier, and I hesitated before sitting down. Talia cocked her head to the side.
“Everything okay?”
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “Yeah, I just remembered something. It’s not important, though.”
She crossed her legs as she settled into the comfortable couch. My gaze traveled up her long limbs, and I had to drag my eyes away so she didn’t think I was a manwhore. By the little smirk on her lips, I’d been caught.
“So organic chemistry, huh? What’s your major?”
“I’m a double major. If it were up to my mom, I’d be a doctor. If it were my choice, I’d be an artist. Luckily, I’m smart enough to know I can’t make a living on sketching forever, but our compromise was the double major.”
She smiled and trailed her fingernails over her lips. “Def
initely not what I was expecting.”
I laughed. “What were you expecting?”
Her eye trailed over my arms, and to my surprise, she reached over and squeezed my bicep. Her head tilted to the side. “Maybe something sports related?”
“I don’t know whether to be insulted or take that as a compliment.” I took a sip of my coffee and watched her eyes light up in laughter.
“It’s definitely a compliment.” She bit down on her bottom lip, and I suppressed a groan.
I glanced away so I didn’t embarrass myself by trying to kiss her or try to get her to go back to my apartment fifteen seconds after meeting her. Maybe some guys would, but I wasn’t that kind of guy. As I looked up, I saw Brooke staring at me from across the union. She looked…hurt. But for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why. She was the one who intentionally tried to humiliate me. Our eyes met for a brief second and I quickly refocused my attention back on Talia.
Her eyebrow was raised in question. “A friend of yours?”
I took a drink of my coffee, trying to buy a second before I had to answer her. “My best friend actually. We had a fight yesterday, but I’m not ready to talk to her yet.” Time for a subject change. I really didn’t want to be talking about Brooke with anyone, let alone this woman. “You asked about my major. Now it’s my turn. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it’s poly sci.”
She chuckled softly. “You cheated. Chemistry can go a couple of different ways. Political science really only has one option.”
Talia looked up, and I glanced over my shoulder to see what she was looking at. Brooke stood there, looking unsure if she should interrupt or not. I didn’t want to see that perplexed expression on her face, and I sure as hell didn’t need her here because I didn’t want to start comparing the two women. God, why was this so difficult.
“Hi.” Brooke hesitated, biting down on her bottom lip. “I was wondering if we could talk for a second.”
I looked back at Talia. “Can you give me one second? I’ll be right back.”
Keeping Dominic (The Golden Boy Series Book 1) Page 4
