“I want her out here,” I tell Trace as I take another hit off the bottle of Jack I’m carrying around. It’s sloshing and spilling over my hand.
“Let’s go.” Trace grabs my arm, trying to pull me back towards his car, but he can’t. I’m super human in my drunkenness, and I dig the heels of my boots into the concrete.
“No,” I tell him again. “I want her out here. I want her to see what she’s done to me. Man, she’s my fucking life.” I’m getting more and more pissed. I can see her car, I know she’s there. “She’s my fucking life!” I yell, sinking to the ground, feeling defeated in a way I never have before. “And she doesn’t know it, or she doesn’t care.”
“C’mon, Dev.” Trace attempts to pick me up, but I purposely make myself deadweight.
I want her to see me like this; I want her to see the devastation she’s caused. She thinks it’s so easy to walk away from me and not think of the consequences, let her fucking see this. I glance up to the apartment I know is hers. I see the light come on and the door open.
“Devin, get out of here,” she hisses at me as she makes her way down the stairs. “You’re going to get me kicked out.”
“Good,” I yell back at her. “Nothing’s ever been difficult for you, Princess.” I take another drink of my Jack and lean back against the asphalt, thanking God that it feels cool.
“Nothing has ever been difficult for me? That’s the biggest line of bullshit I’ve ever heard.”
She’s fuming, and I can tell by the way she’s got her arms crossed over her chest, the way she’s tapping her fingers against her bicep.
“All you gotta do is smile at me and spread your legs, and I give you anything you want.” I’m attempting to stand up so that I can look her in the eye, but it’s hard. The ground is moving out from under me as I brace against the concrete and try to push myself up.
“I hate you,” she tells me through teeth I can see clenched. “Look at you, you’re an embarrassment. Get up off the asphalt and take your ass home.”
It was at that point I passed out, and I remember nothing else about that night, only that I was told the next day Trace and I passed a cop on our way out. Tonight, I’m not drunk, and I’m not looking to make an ass out of myself.
I turn into the complex, seeing it with new eyes. This is definitely a working-class complex, and I’m surprised Nina picked this on her own, but then I have to realize she’s only on one income. For the first time I wonder, has she struggled? I haven’t because I was the major breadwinner in the first place. I told her so many times she didn’t even have to work, but she insisted. Now, I’m curious, but I’m not sure how to bring it up.
Instead I flip my keys in my hand, grab my phone and put it in my pocket, and make my way up the stairs to her apartment. I’m actually nervous as I stand at the door. My hand shakes as I tap on it with my knuckles. I feel like a lot rides on this night.
*
She opens the door, smiling at me as she pulls it to the side. “Come on in. I have to put my boots on, I’m running late,” she tells me as she invites me in.
“Took longer to take care of your problem than you thought?”
I can’t help but tease her. I’ve been doing nothing but thinking of her since I got that text. Her cheeks are pink, and her eyes are bright.
“Unfortunately no. The mother of one of my students had car trouble, so I had to drive them out to meet her. It pushed me behind. I had to rush here and change,” she tells me as I watch her put on her knee socks over her jeans.
“You look great by the way.” She winks at me. “New shirt?”
It is, and I open my mouth to tell her that when I realize everything she’s wearing is stuff she had throughout our marriage. “Yeah.” I nod, taking a look at her living room. There’s not even a TV in here, and I can’t help it, I have to ask.
“Are you struggling, Nina? Do you need money?”
She glances at me, her face more red than I remember it ever being.
“Things aren’t nearly as easy as they were before, but you know what? I kind of like it. I don’t sit around and watch mindless TV anymore; I find other stuff to do. I budget, can you believe it? Me? Who had bitched about us being broke when we first started out.” She laughs. “Let me tell you, it was a shock when I realized I had sixty-five dollars a week to spend on food, but I’ve gotten creative. I like it, Sketch.” She grins over at me. “I really do.”
“I didn’t even think about that when you left,” I admit.
She giggles harder. “Me neither. I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t realize how much you took care of us. I learned pretty fucking quick though. I like who I’ve become.”
“It looks good on you,” I praise her.
“So does your shirt, your almost beard, and the bite mark I gave you on your neck.” She finishes putting on her boots and walks over to sit in my lap. “Don’t feel bad, I did it to myself. You told me that often enough.”
I shake my head ruefully. “I did—probably too much.”
“No, I needed a reality check. I got one, believe me.”
We’re quiet for a few moments; I think we’re both at a loss for words to say. We’re both dealing with our own demons, dealing with our own shortcomings in our marriage. I tap her hip with my hand. “You ready?”
She stands and grabs my hands, pulling me up so that I’m face to face with her. “I am. I haven’t been to the movies in a long time, and it’s been even longer since I’ve been with you.”
I lean in, giving her a kiss. “Let’s go, or we’ll be late.”
Chapter Fifteen
SKETCH
“That was the shittiest movie I have ever seen in my life,” I grumble.
Nina giggles at my side, cuddling closer as I sling my arm over her shoulder. We’re walking along the river walk, and the breeze is cool off the water. “At least the company was good.” She leans up and brushes a kiss against my jaw line, running her nose along the beginnings of my beard.
“That it was, but the movie was shit.”
She giggles again, moving slightly away from me. Our fingers intertwine, and we walk in silence before her voice interrupts. “I remember when we used to come down here, ya know, when we were young and broke, when we were first married.”
I lick my lips and a smile breaks across my face. “Oh yeah, I remember that too. I always tried to get you to let me fuck you up against the retaining wall.” I shoot her a grin that I know is pure bad boy. “Wanna give it a try tonight?”
Her head shakes, and she circles her hand around my bicep. “Not tonight, it’s cold and I’m not sure I want to be known as the Montessori teacher who lost her job because she and her husband had a kinky public tryst.”
She’s opened the door with her words, and I think I’m going to step through it. Before, we lost each other because we didn’t talk about things. I want to make sure that doesn’t happen this time. “Speaking of kinky. Were you serious about what you texted me today?” My voice has dropped an octave lower, because frankly, thinking about putting piercings in her nipples turns me the fuck on, but it’s got to be something she wants to do for her.
“This is so embarrassing.” She lets go of my hand and covers her face with it. “It’s so easy to be flirty with you over text, but when I’m with you, I have so many things in my head I want to say that never make it out of my mouth.”
I stop walking and wait for her to stop too. She doesn’t face me, but she turns towards the water and leans up against the guardrail. I can tell this is difficult for her, and I don’t want to push. “Say whatever you want to say. Don’t worry that it’s gonna shock me or turn me off. Babe, if you knew the stuff women have been telling me for years, you’d be ashamed for the female race. They all know I’m married.”
“And now you’re hotter than you’ve ever been. Tell me, has Jackie hit on you? What about Trix?”
“Didn’t matter if they did, and no matter, I’ve always loved you. The women I work with I respect
, they respect me. It would have been easy for me to use one of them, but I don’t shit where I work, if you get what I mean? It would be easy for me to have used any of those women who came in and came onto me, but it would have felt really fuckin’ wrong for me to do that.” I run my hand through my hair. “I still have to be able to look at myself in the mirror every morning. Knowing that I still love you and didn’t want to give up on us, I couldn’t do it. As much as I want to be a hard ass, I’ve loved you since I was fourteen. There’s only so much I can be a hard ass about.”
I can hear the intake of breath; I can feel the stiffening of her body. She finally turns to look at me. “Devin, I…” she licks her lips, “I forgot that. I forgot how much you love me, and I think I forgot how much I love you. Seeing that woman at the shop throw herself at you and then realizing you must get it all the time did something to me. It’s like it flipped a switch. I wanted to know all about Sketch. Sketch is so different from the Devin I first met.”
I move in when her hands fist in my shirt. “He is.” I lean in and kiss her neck. “But there’s no reason that Nina can’t grow with Sketch. There’s no reason at all she can’t take a walk on the wild side and get her nipples pierced—if that’s what she so chooses.”
She’s thinking about it, I can tell she is. “What was it you told me earlier? I can get nipple clamps?” She speaks to me, not with her face buried in my chest, but she’s not looking me in the eyes either.
“Yeah, babe, if you want to try it, let’s do it with those first. I don’t want to cause you the pain of the piercing if you decide it’s not what you want.”
She tilts her head back, looking at me. “What do you think about when you’re piercing those women? When you’re giving them tattoos and you’re looking at private parts of them. Do they turn you on? I’ve always wondered, but I’ve never asked.”
I wonder how to answer this question and decide that since we’re trying honesty, it’s probably the best policy. “More so when I was younger, not so much now. It’s almost kind of like being at a strip club though. It’s all look and no touch. Most of the time I’m able to keep it professional; sometimes I can’t help the way my body reacts. It kind of is what it is.”
For a few moments I wonder if I’ve done the right thing, because Nina looks as if I just struck her across the face. Then she blinks and clears her eyes of the cloudiness that had built there. “Thank you for being honest with me. I know that wasn’t easy, and I know that after everything that’s gone on between us, I may not deserve it.”
“We both agreed we’d give this a shot, and that’s what I plan on doing.”
She leans up and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me down so that she can kiss me. The kiss is more than I expected, I can feel the emotion in it. It’s not the hard, hot, and fast we’ve enjoyed the past few days. It’s the slow, leisurely. It’s the knowing that we have time. She pulls away; reaching up to wipe my bottom lip of what I assume is the remnants of her lip stick.
“If I were to say I wanted you to help me pick out those nipple clamps,” she gazes at me from under her dark lashes, “what would you say?”
I groan, pulling her into me. “I’d say let’s get on that, stat.”
“Then let’s go.”
Chapter Sixteen
SKETCH
We’re in my favorite adult toy store. I’ve never been here with Nina before. This was always something I did on my own; although I can’t say I never asked her to come with me. I did, earlier in our marriage, especially earlier in our relationship before we were married. Every time I would ask her, she would shake her head and tell me she wasn’t interested. Eventually I didn’t ask her anymore. Which is why it’s got me hard as a rock now that I’m here with her looking through all this debauchery.
“What you want is over there.” I bend down to speak softly into her ear. There are people around, and I know this isn’t easy for her. Her eyes follow where I’m pointing to, and then she grabs my hand and pulls me in that direction.
“How did you know where they were?” she asks as we stand in front of a large display of various brands, types, and sizes.
I grab her around the waist and force her to stand in front of me, leaning down again so that I’m talking only to her. “Let’s just say you wearing nothing but those is one of my favorite and oldest fantasies.”
Her breath picks up, and I feel her hands reach back to my thighs, curling around them as she lets her head fall forward. “You can’t tell me that kind of stuff in here, Sketch.”
I laugh loudly and open my mouth to speak to her again when I hear my name. I glance over, seeing a guy I’ve tattooed before walking over.
“I know this is awkward,” he says by way of greeting. “But it healed up, and I haven’t had a chance to show you yet.”
“Nina, this is Gidcumb,” I say using his last name. It’s easier for me to remember last names. “Gidcumb, this is my wife, Nina.” I make the introduction, one I haven’t ever made. I’ve never made her available so my clients could meet her before. I tell myself that was mostly her, but I can see now that part of it was also me.
“You must be so proud of your husband, he does amazing work.” He turns around and lifts his shirt up, showing us the piece on his back. He’s turning around so that he can tell Nina what’s going on. “That ’70 Super Sport. It was my dad’s. He passed a few years ago, and he loved that car. We ended up having to sell it in order to pay for his funeral, but I had a picture of it with him, and I took it to Sketch, and he did this.”
I’m trying to look at the tat through her eyes. I see a cherry red Super Sport, a middle-age guy leaning up against it with a twinkle in his eye, obviously proud. The background, though, is what I’m most proud of. It’s a gorgeous setting sun—it allowed me to flex my artistic muscle.
“It looks amazing,” she breathes and turns to me. “I can’t believe the things you do with a tattoo gun.”
“I can’t either,” Gidcumb says as he’s still looking at us.
There’s one part of the tat that’s annoying me. That part healed faded compared to the rest of it. “When you get time, my man, c’mon back in. There’s a small section in the sunset that healed faded, and that pisses me off. I’ll fix you up.”
He lowers his shirt and turns back around, offering me his hand. “Will do. I appreciate you taking the time to talk. I’ll let you and your wife get back to your night.”
I watch as he leaves, shaking my head. Sometimes I get recognized at the weirdest times. “Hopefully he didn’t kill the mood.” I turn to look at Nina; she’s got an odd look on her face.
“You don’t even know, do you?” she asks.
“Know what?”
“How special and talented you are. Damn, Devin, I’m lucky you wanted me.”
I don’t know what to say to that. It’s something I’ve wanted to hear from her for the longest time, but now I can’t form words to explain how it makes me feel. Instead, I grab her around the waist and turn her around again. It takes me a few moments, but I clear my throat. “Now, which ones do you want?” I run my hand up her side, stopping just under her breast. “Do you want ones that are discreet enough you can wear out in public? Like right now, you could be wearing them, and no one would know, it would be our little secret. Or do you want bigger ones, ones that can only be used in the bedroom?”
She’s breathless again, and I see a pair that are small, they look like barbells, with a small clamp on the end that can be tightened or loosened. I reach over and pick them up. “These are the closest I’ve seen to the actual rings I would put in them. Do you want these?”
Her eyes are glazed over as she watches me turn them over and over in the palm of my hand. She nods. “Those are the ones I want.”
I pull her closer to me again, leveling my mouth to her ear. “You want to wear them in public, don’t you, baby?”
“Uh huh.”
“I never knew you were such a bad girl.” I grasp her hand, and we
go to the checkout area, making our purchase.
We walk hand in hand back to my truck. When we get in, she scoots over so that she sits next to me, every part of her touching every part of me. “God, Devin, I can’t wait to try those,” she tells me as she runs her fingers along my thigh.
“I can’t either, but there’s a stipulation,” I tell her.
“Stipulation?”
I’m feeling a little like a sadist, and it feels good. I tilt her chin up with my finger. “You can’t use these without me, and you won’t know when we’re going to use them. I want them to stay in this package until I tell you to. Can you do that for me?”
I can feel her frustration, but I can also feel that she wants to please me. “Okay.” She exhales heavily.
“Good girl,” I praise her. “When you do wear them, prepare to be fucked like you’ve never been fucked before.”
The sharp intake of breath is all I need to hear to know she’s looking as forward to it as I am.
Chapter Seventeen
SKETCH
“So I let him take me out and buy me dinner, but then I made him take me home.”
I look up from my drawing and give Trix a look. “You let him buy you dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town and didn’t give it up?”
She gives me a look of pride. “I didn’t feel it with him, but I appreciated his effort.”
“You are a fucking man-eater. You could have at least sucked it or jacked it. What if he didn’t have the money to be doing that for you?”
“His problem, not mine,” she tells me, shooting me a look.
“I see I came back at the perfect time.”
I look up as I hear the voice of the other male tattooist who’s been on leave. River came back the other night, but this is the first time I’ve seen him. I hop up, and we clap hands, half-hugging. “Dude, the estrogen was about to grow me a set of tits. I am so fucking glad you’re back.”
Sketch Page 6
