Marcus sat, and I joined him, neither of us saying a word. Then he leaned back, tossing his head toward the fading light.
“Your eyes match the sky here. Have you noticed that?” he asked, gazing at the blue-gray cloud cover.
I looked up and realized he had a point; my sister always did say my eyes were gloomy, like the air before a clap of thunder. “I like to think mine aren’t as cold.”
“No. They definitely aren’t.” He turned his face my way. “That’s not what you thought I meant, did you?”
“No.” I shook my head, though lately, I was wondering how well we really knew one another. The guy I saw with his brother, the one who laughed easily, who partied often, who played the guitar and got spontaneous tattoos, I didn’t know that guy. That realization hurt, like I’d been fooling myself about what we were from the beginning. “I didn’t know you could play an instrument. How did I not know that?”
“It didn’t come up while we were running around Europe after our siblings.” He sounded like it was no big deal. Only it was.
“What else don’t I know?” I shoved my hands into my pockets, squeezing them. It was time to let him off the hook, for everything. “Marcus, we met when my life fell apart. Maybe it was unrealistic to think that we could keep this going—”
“No.” Marcus held out his hand to stop my train of thought. “I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it.”
“Yes, you did,” I replied, unable to face him. There was an obelisk in front of me that had toppled diagonally onto a pedestal with a stone statue of a chalice on top. When did people stop marking tombs with elaborate monuments? Most cemeteries back home were full of flat grave markers, black rectangular stones set in grass. I’d spent a lot of time in those places, alone, grieving the end of things. I guess Marcus had picked an appropriate location for this conversation. “You were right. We never made any promises. I was never your girlfriend. It’s okay, really. We don’t have to make a big deal of it…”
I didn’t want to embarrass myself further; begging him to feel what I felt wouldn’t make it so. Now I had to hope he might still help extinguish Department D, but if he and Antonio wanted to move on, I was prepared for that, too. After all, it wasn’t too long ago that Keira and I were ready to do the exact same thing. I was set to leave him. Difference was, it practically killed me to have to do it.
He grabbed my arm, pulling me until I had to meet his gaze. “I did not mean it. Not the way it sounded.” He exhaled, flicking a look toward the sky. The light was fading fast. “Ahnahstasia, I know you’ve been through a lot, I was there for some of it. I understand what that can do to you, but you have to see this from my point of view. You don’t trust me. You may not realize it, but you don’t. And I never doubted Keira, not once while we were looking for her—not when we found out she was dating Craig Bernard, not even when we learned she ran that secret DNA test. You trusted her, you believed in her, and I trusted you. How do you think it feels when you treat my brother like the enemy?”
My body slumped as I dug my fingers into my palms, wanting to scream at full force. I didn’t want to treat Antonio that way, I didn’t want to have these thoughts, but I couldn’t turn them off. “Marcus, this isn’t just us, back in Boston, and me not getting along with your older brother. This is life and death. My life. Keira’s life.”
“What about our life?” He cocked his head. “I never meant that I didn’t want you to be my girlfriend, I meant that you don’t treat me that way. You’re always shutting me out…”
“You’re one of the only people I talk to!” I tossed up my hands. What else can I do?
“We talk when you feel like talking. How many times have I knocked on your door and you’ve refused to answer?”
“What you said that day really hurt,” I yelped. I had a right to feel sad, humiliated, and rejected. I also had a right to be alone.
“I know, and I’m sorry. But when you announce that you’re running away with your sister like I don’t matter, when you act like I’m doing something wrong for hanging out with my brother, for trusting him, you hurt me.”
My lips clamped shut, my throat constricting. I stared at the graves. I didn’t know the right thing to do or say. I wanted to fix this, fix me, fix this entire miserable circumstance, but I didn’t know how, and I definitely didn’t know how to be in a couple. Tears pushed at my eyes.
“You’re happier with him,” I blurted before my brain could take it back. “I can see it.”
“No.” He leaned forward, grabbing my cold hands and tugging me toward him once more. “I’m different with him, because he’s my brother. You’re different with Keira. You’re gentler and super protective. With Charlotte, wow, you listen to every word she says, every idea. No one has more influence on you than her.”
“Because I’ve known her forever,” I said.
“Exactly.” He reached for my face, wiping away the tear that fell. “I’m here, in London, because of you. I’ve never felt for a girl what I feel for you. But you’ve got to start letting me in.”
I nodded, biting my bottom lip hard. “I know I’m being a hypocrite with Antonio. Not trusting him while I’m asking these Dresden Kids to trust me. I get that. I see that.”
“Good.” Marcus’s eyes widened in agreement, like we were finally getting somewhere.
Only it wasn’t that simple.
“Marcus, I’m a mess,” I went on. “For three years, I thought my parents were dead. My sister was kidnapped. Tyson was murdered. Regina was threatened.” I thought about our conversation in the hotel room, in my bed, when I pushed him away. He thought I didn’t trust him, but that wasn’t it. “Nothing good in my life ever lasts,” I choked out.
His face crumbled, and he placed both hands on my cheeks, his touch so incredibly warm. “I’m not going anywhere. What I said, that whole girlfriend thing, Ahnahstasia, you are so much more.”
My breath hitched, and I sniffled, my whole body jolted by his words. He really did care about me. I stared at his lips, at him, my heart pounding, my breath quickening. I had never wanted anything or anyone more.
“I won’t kiss you, not unless you ask me to,” he suddenly insisted. My brow furrowed, but I could see he wasn’t playing coy; he was giving me a choice, one a lot bigger than a kiss. “I know everything that’s happening with our families is…loco. We’re going to disagree. But if we do this, then we have to do it together.”
My shoulders fell, my entire being warring with what I wanted versus what was safest. My gut told me not to trust Antonio, but if I pushed it, I’d be pushing Marcus, too. He would never choose me over his family, any more than I’d choose him over Keira. It was a very distinct line between us, and I feared we would be crossing it soon.
“I don’t want our parents, our siblings, to define who we are. Forever.” My voice was small.
“Neither do I.”
“But this plan, what comes next, I think it’s going to get ugly. The things we’re going to learn…”
“We face them together,” he interjected. “We do this together. All of us.”
The implication was clear—the Rey brothers and the Phoenix sisters, or no one at all.
“Okay.” I nodded. I couldn’t lose him, I just couldn’t. “I trust you. I do. I swear. So I’ll trust you about Antonio.”
Marcus smiled, dimples glowing even in the darkness that had fallen around us. “I know you think I’m different with him, but he thinks I’m different with you. I’d follow you anywhere, Ahnahstassia Phoenix.”
I kissed him. I didn’t wait for permission. I didn’t ask any more questions. I pressed my lips to his. It was so easy, his mouth on mine, his hair in my fists. All the grief, the fear, the complexity was gone, and my entire body filled with heat. My mind was silent. I needed this. I needed him.
Maybe cemeteries could be romantic.
Or maybe they just fit us.
…
“Pack up, kids! We’re moving!” Julian announced the ne
xt day while we hung around his ultra modern kitchen.
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked, my fork paused mid-stab in my grilled chicken salad.
“I took the liberty of finding us a new abode.” His whitened smile was so wide, it was clear he was proud of himself.
“What’s wrong with this abode?” Marcus asked.
“For starters, it’s getting rather crowded.” Julian gestured to Dani and Ben, who were leaning against the granite counter.
“You want us to leave?” Dani asked.
“No, not at all.” Julian swiftly held up a hand. It was the last thing he wanted. I could practically see Julian planning camera angles for their primetime special. “You and Benjamin have every right to be a part of this process, and I think it’s wise that Charlotte and I take your evidence directly, record your video depositions, ensure the chain of custody, coordinate communication…”
“You’re losing them,” Charlotte singsonged as he rattled off procedures.
“The point is, if more of our new friends want to be involved, then my little flat isn’t going to do.”
“Only in your world is this a little flat,” said Antonio as he waved his hand around the opulent penthouse that encompassed the entire top floor of the building and had its own glass elevator.
“For once, I agree with you.” I nodded at Antonio.
I even half smiled, trying to be nice. For Marcus. I was going to force myself to treat his brother the same way he treated my sister—even if I had to grit my teeth to do it. Antonio nodded in return, recognizing my effort.
“I fear there isn’t ample room here, not if we have more guests in the future, so I’ve secured a home in East Sussex,” Julian continued. “It’s about an hour and a half from here. Much larger property, plenty of space, large grounds, sufficient bedrooms…”
“Home library, tennis courts, gym?” Marcus teased.
“Finished basement, breakfast nook, Olympic-size pool?” I joined in.
“Yes, yes, all of that.” Julian shrugged as if we’d been serious.
“Are you kidding?” I gawked.
“About the pool? Of course, it has a pool—indoors, in the east wing.” He sounded as if the feature were as standard as a garage. “The property’s been in my family for generations…”
“Does that mean your dad knows we’re staying there?” I looked at Charlotte, and she shook her head as if equally unaware of our moving plans.
Julian’s father, Phillip Stone, had spent decades collaborating with Department D. He published their fake news stories and profited significantly from their espionage activity, so much so that he didn’t help his own son when those same spies ruined Julian’s career and reputation.
“Yes, my father has actually agreed to help.” His voice held a mixture of shock and pleasure, like the son finally playing catch in the backyard with his father.
My brow furrowed. Did he not see what was happening here? “Julian, your dad is a part of the organization we’re trying to bring down.”
“My father never worked for Department D.” He held up a finger in protest. “He was a business associate, and he insists he terminated all dealings with the organization after my…ordeal. He hasn’t worked with them since, and he seemed quite delighted at the prospect of contributing to their demise.”
“Of course he’s going to say that.” While I had no right to judge anyone else’s family, I did have reason to be skeptical of any relative with admitted criminal ties. My eyes flickered to Antonio, then back to Julian. “Haven’t you heard of the expression ‘keep your enemies close’? What if your dad just wants to see what evidence we have?”
“I’m not sharing anything with him.” He sounded offended.
“I’m sure you aren’t, but if we’re in his house, he could still somehow find out—”
“Not all parents are evil,” Antonio interrupted, his nose scrunched like he sensed I was linking his family to the same group as Phillip Stone. I was. “People make mistakes, and not all of us knew what we were getting into. Just because your parents are still running around the world betraying you…”
“Wait, what?” Dani’s eyes cut my way. “I thought your parents were dead.”
Damn. I winced. All the lies were tangled in my head; I couldn’t keep them straight anymore. “They are dead, at least they were…”
“We don’t know for sure,” Keira jumped in, trying to save me. “There are rumors.”
“But we haven’t seen them, so we don’t really know,” I hedged.
“You lied to me,” Dani said.
“Not exactly. We buried our parents, and we spent the past three and a half years living on our own.” That pain was real. The loss was real. It happened.
“Are you going to lie to all of the Dresden Kids you meet?” His eyes darkened. “Are you going to trick them into trusting you? Is that how you do things? Like your parents?”
“Hey!” Marcus stepped forward, but I grabbed his arm. Dani had a right to be angry. We should have told him sooner. Or at all. (Still, it felt good to have Marcus defend me.)
“I’m sorry you found out this way.” Charlotte moved toward Dani. “If you want to leave, we get it. But you have to remember, Keira was kidnapped. Anastasia fought for her life. We have to make sure we can trust you, before we tell you everything.”
“That’s a rather big detail to leave out,” Ben chimed into the conversation, looking as betrayed as Dani.
How could we tell them everything and then expect them to help us? It seemed smarter to let them gradually find out, after they’d gotten to know us, after they’d seen for themselves that we were on their side. Only now the omission made it look like we were trying to protect our parents, and we weren’t. Were we?
“Their parents have not made any contact, I assure you, and we are trying to find them. I realize you’ve been through a lot, but so have they,” said Julian, looking at Keira and me. “I promise my father has no involvement, and I have security lined up at the country house. You will be safe there.”
“How do we know that’s not another lie? That’s all you’ve been doing since we met you. We can’t trust you. Where’s my video? I want it back.” Dani shifted away from us. He was going to leave, with the evidence.
“We understand, but…” Julian’s turquoise eyes bore into Charlotte.
“I don’t think this is the time,” she warned.
“I don’t think we have a choice.”
“What?” I could see the secret pass between them as clearly as if they’d cupped their hands to their mouths.
Charlotte sighed, her face begging apologies, then she turned to Dani. “Your mom did a good job of encrypting the video, but I was able to get it open. I watched it.” I could feel what was coming, even before she said it and my body tensed for the blow. “The man your stepfather was meeting with, I recognized him.”
No, no, no… I wanted to press my palms to my ears, block it out.
“Our dad?” Keira asked, also sensing the answer.
“Yeah,” Charlotte whispered.
“So that talk about revenge on the people who did this, you still feel that way?” The hatred in Dani’s voice was so sharp, it sliced into me, reopening old wounds full of shame, disappointment, and guilt. My parents looked people in the eye and ruined their lives. Did they feel nothing as they did it? Were they complete sociopaths? Would any Dresden Kid ever want to help me, given the horror my parents inflicted on their families?
“It’s not your fault,” Marcus whispered in my ear, a hand on my shoulder.
“It sure feels that way.” I met eyes with my sister, the only other person in the room who knew how this felt. But her face was stoic, her body no longer holding the slumped posture of a victim. Instead, she looked like the old Keira, the one who could hold it together at her own parents’ funeral.
She stepped toward Dani. “We told you our parents worked for Department D. We didn’t keep that from you. There weren’t any tricks. People have t
old us our parents are alive, but we have not seen them. And if they are, they definitely aren’t helping us. So if you still want to bail on this, fine. But to answer your question—this changes nothing for us. We are going to end this. Now it’s up to you. Do you still want in?”
Dani stood still, moments passing as he seemed to search for something in my sister’s hazel eyes. Keira had the power to convince him. There was no doubt that she was held captive, maybe not for as long as his mother, but it still allowed Dani to believe she might want revenge. “Fine,” he answered. “I’ll go with you, but only to make sure that when you do find your parents, they pay.”
I swallowed hard, recognizing it was exactly how I felt about Craig Bernard and anyone else responsible for taking Keira. Including Urban, despite how many baby pictures he had in his arsenal. Dani’s mother spent two years in a Turkish prison, and my father played a role in that. Now Dani was handing us that evidence. Would I do the same? And would I be able to convince any more Dresden Kids to do it?
Julian cleared his throat. “All right, then. I am glad you are coming with us. There are cars waiting outside, so please, everyone, pack your things.”
The group dispersed in silence, but Charlotte and I held back. She inched closer to my side. “I’m sorry about your dad.”
“I know.” I nodded, a dark part of me thinking, He isn’t my dad. “Is this pointless? Why would any of them want to help us?”
“Because you are trying to help them. And they’ll see that eventually.” She rubbed my arm reassuringly.
“I don’t think I would help me.” The rage in Dani’s eyes flickered in my memory, and it looked so familiar. I felt the same way most days.
“Well, let’s hope the others don’t share that view, because Cross sent us more names. You ready to do this?”
It was like asking, Are you ready for your firing squad, Miss Phoenix? How could I be? Every bit of damning evidence chipped away at my childhood like it never happened. Karate tournaments were replaced with kidnapped prime ministers, and family dinners were painted over with innocent women in prison. How bad was this going to get?
Lies That Bind Page 17
