“If anyone asks, I will tell them I did not see you here,” Callum stated softly, turning toward the pond once again to avoid the sight of Aiva. “We can begin our attempt at friendship when we return to the road. Which we should do soon. Our enemy will not likely stop so soon and we can’t afford to give them any more distance.”
Chapter Eight
Aiva sat on the edge of the wagon, legs dangling above the ground, lost in thought. The soldiers were sound asleep. Oblivious to her wakefulness. She’d considered trying to close her eyes for a short while, but rest was impossible since she’d spoken with Callum. The memory of his face haunted her. She pitied him, not wanting to believe that he was capable of the terrible things Dacian accused him of doing. The Callum she saw this evening looked so innocent. So gentle.
She knew that wasn’t always the case. Aiva had seen him slit the throat of a man with no remorse or hesitation. Callum was capable of bad things. He was capable of taking the life of another. So why was it so easy for her to forget about those horrible deeds in his presence?
She was tired of being angry. Tired of all the suspicion. Why couldn’t everything go back to the way it was before? As a child, there had been no questions. No worries of his allegiance. He had been her friend. Callum. The goofy son of the General whose company she couldn’t wait to have again, anxiously pacing the palace floor for him to arrive and chase her into the courtyard to play their silly games. He used to make her mad sometimes. Pushing her into puddles. Making fun of her dresses. And yet she’d enjoyed every minute of it. Life had never felt the same when he went away. It had been empty. Sad.
Everything was different now. She was different. No longer was she interested in being pushed around and teased. They were too old for that now.
Callum had brought this all on himself by choosing not to keep in touch with her. To tell her of his exploits. She would have loved to hear about it all! Stories of Callum on the water, fighting pirates. All the adventures he must have had. Aiva was jealous, in a way. Envious of the fact that he hadn’t shared it with her. That she couldn’t be there with him. Instead he chose the company of a traitorous wench who now threatened Shaelyn. Most times when she was reminded of that fact, she thought it was anger she felt. Sitting there in the darkness now, surrounded by nothing but lifeless, burnt sand, Aiva realized it wasn’t anger at all. It was in fact jealousy – though not toward the person she expected. She’d been convinced of her resentment for Callum, but it was the name Ireni that sent violent tremors of hatred throughout her body.
Ireni. The pirate woman who stole Callum’s heart. Took him away from her. Strangely, Aiva somehow felt she had a claim over Callum. Before he left, he had kissed her. That meant something to her. It was an unspoken promise between them that he had broken because of this woman.
Aiva buried her face in her hands, frustrated by the confusion that filled her thoughts. Why was she thinking about all of this now? She’d been blind to her emotions before, ignoring what they meant. Now she was beginning to wonder. Had she loved Callum back then? In her child-like innocence, had she really felt so strongly for him that it ate away at her, even now? It was easier to hate him than it was to admit that some part of her actually didn’t mind the thought of being with him. She was afraid of the possibility. Especially with so much in question about Callum now. If there was truth – any at all – to what Dacian said, then Callum deserved whatever punishment was dealt. It pained her to think about. The boy she’d known growing up wasn’t capable of such terrible things. But this man, the one she was joined with in matrimony, was very different. Aiva wanted the boy back. She wanted that day in the gardener’s shed to do over so she could convince Callum not to go away at all.
“You look rough, Princess,” Kaemin’s voice came quietly from beside the wagon. Aiva jumped in surprise, unaware of his approach, sand having muffled the sound of his footsteps.
“I think we all look rough. It has been a very tiresome week,” Aiva forced a smile, lifting her face from her hands to peer at Kaemin in the darkness. “What are you doing awake? I thought everyone was taking advantage of the time for rest.”
Kaemin shrugged, moving around the wagon to sit beside her. “I slept a bit earlier. The Captain was going to stay up to keep watch, but I caught sight of him after everyone had eaten. I am worried he might be falling ill. Of course he claimed he was fine. I insisted he lay down for a while so he could be more alert when we start moving. You look almost as bad as he. Are you alright?”
Her shoulders bowed forward under an invisible weight. She recalled the look in Callum’s eyes, knowing exactly what Kaemin referred to. “I don’t know,” she sighed, fighting back a strong urge to burst into tears. Why did it bother her so much? He’d offered her what she wanted. So why couldn’t she be happy?
“Aiva, did something happen?” Kaemin asked. Hesitantly he started to rest his arm around her shoulders to comfort her, letting it hang awkwardly in the air as if afraid to touch her. “I want to help, but I am at a loss as to how. I don’t spend a lot of time around married women. Am I allowed to console you?”
She couldn’t help but laugh through her building tears. It was funny to think of Kaemin’s unusual predicament. The two of them had been friends for so long, yet the changes in their lives of late left them in a position neither one knew how to handle. Aiva was married. Kaemin was engaged to Calie – the sister of his Captain. The man in charge of his career. Any fumble could bring disaster. But she wanted someone to talk to. Someone whose shoulder she could lean on. Lightly she tugged Kaemin’s arm down around her, sliding in to lean her head against his chest. “I am a bit lost, to tell the truth,” she frowned.
Kaemin chuckled at her wording. “I think we might all be a bit lost right now. We are, after all, in the middle of a desert.”
“No, that is not what I mean,” Aiva sniffled with a smile, grateful for Kaemin’s lighthearted humor. It made things feel less overbearing. “I mean with Callum.”
“Of course. Have you learned something new?”
“No, it isn’t that. Honestly, I don’t know what is going on.” Aiva gave in to the defeat she felt, sinking against Kaemin’s sturdy form. He was far more comforting than the silence she’d endured before he arrived. “He and I spoke down by the water. I explained to him how unhappy I am with the arrangement of our marriage and he – agreed to release me from it.”
Kaemin blinked in surprise, tilting his head down to gaze at Aiva. She could see the questions in his eyes, none of which she felt capable of answering. “Release you from it?” he inquired. “How? When?”
“He agreed to petition for the annulment when we get back to Tanispa with Shae. He said everyone will be in such high spirits they should be more amenable to our request. And with the wedding night being cut short – ” She blushed at the thought of continuing. It felt inappropriate to discuss the details of her and Callum’s relationship. For some reason the thought of it made her heart quicken nervously.
“I understand,” Kaemin squeezed her shoulders lightly. “From the sounds of things, you have nothing which would stand in the way of an annulment. I guess my question would be – is this what you want?”
She heaved a sigh, lifting her head to meet Kaemin’s gaze. “Should I want it?”
“That’s not a question I can answer,” he shook his head. “I am inclined to urge you not to seek separation, for the sake of both your families. But if you don’t love him, and if you believe it is impossible for you to be happy, then I cannot justify trying to sway your decision otherwise.”
“You see, that’s exactly it. I don’t know if I love him. I do not know if he and I can be happy together. I – ” Aiva exhaled. She disliked admitting her foolishness. It was always easier to pretend that she knew exactly what she wanted, but it was her pretending which landed her in the predicament she was in now. “When Callum returned from Siscal, I was so set on being angry with him that I worry I may have missed some opportunities. That I might ha
ve closed some doors which were better left open. If he and I were given more time before the vows were forced upon us, things might have been different. Now, when I think about the marriage, I feel trapped. I am… confused.”
“Confusion is not always a bad thing. There is one thing I am certain of, however.” Kaemin gave another squeeze, sweeping the area with his eyes. He leaned his head closer to Aiva, his tone hushed. “Callum cares very deeply for you.”
Aiva squinted at Kaemin, puzzled by his statement. “Did he tell you this?”
Kaemin smiled, giving a brief shake of his head. Nonchalant, he removed his arm from around her shoulders. “It doesn’t require words, Aiva,” he said quietly. “All of the men can see it when he looks at you.”
“Then why do I not see it?”
“Because you aren’t looking for it. You are looking for something else. Something which might not be there.”
“What do you mean?” Aiva peered at him quizzically.
“You still don’t really know what happened in Siscal, but when you look at Callum, all you search for is his guilt. If you do nothing but linger on an accusation, you won’t ever see anything else.”
Aiva pondered over his words. “What would you have me do, then? I cannot simply overlook such an extreme charge. Especially one which he has not outright denied. And this marriage was not my idea, nor his. I promised to give him a chance at friendship in exchange for the rescinded vows. Is that not enough?”
His eyes lowered to the ground, a somber expression on his face. Several deep breaths could be heard coming from him in the darkness as he considered his words carefully. “I hate to speak of it, but there are other possibilities which you have not considered.”
“Such as?”
“Aiva,” he sighed, glancing over to her, his soft green eyes glowing dimly. “What if we don’t find Shaelyn? The people will need you to be strong. To help them deal with the grief. Dissolving your marriage with Callum could upset more than just your families. It could throw the entire kingdom into unrest.”
“But Kaemin, I could not live that way!” she breathed, exasperated by the thought. “Are you suggesting I torture myself for the sake of the people? Would my failure to save my own sister not be enough punishment for me to endure?”
“It is a long road between here and Luquarr. You may learn a great deal about yourself along the way. About what you are capable of. You might be surprised to find that you aren’t as knowledgeable as you think you are. And there is nothing wrong with that. It will make you a better person.” Kaemin smiled at Aiva, reaching out to rest his hand on hers. “A better queen, Aiva. Tonight, I think I have seen a change in you already. I see more of your mother in your eyes.”
Flattered by his compliment, Aiva averted her gaze, unsure of how to respond. It meant the world to hear that she might resemble her mother. She wanted to be a good queen. To be fair and just. She grimaced to think of how poorly she’d handled her recent troubles. Minor in comparison to what she would be faced with as the leader of the Vor’shai. “It is no wonder Calie loves you so much,” she replied softly, saddened to picture her best friend sitting in Sivaeria, worried sick about her beloved.
His eyes brightened at the mention of Calie. With a smile, he nodded his head, sliding down to his feet to stand in front of Aiva. “I am counting the days until I see her again. Every minute away from her is like an eternity.” Offering his arms to Aiva, he lifted her from the wagon, setting her feet lightly on the sand. “We should get on the move again soon if we want to catch up to our enemy.”
Aiva nodded in agreement, feeling the weight on her shoulders lifted slightly. There was still much to do if they were going to find Shaelyn. And she wasn’t about to let her uncertainties cause them to linger longer than they already had. “Come,” she smiled. “Let us wake the troops. It is a long road ahead and we have wasted far too much time already.”
The next day passed with no sign of their enemy. Aiva chose to stay close to Gadiel and Callum, wanting to feel more involved in the plans. Come nightfall they were further from the dry climate of Carpaen’s central region, moving west, nearer to the treacherous border of Vaeduec. Tension was steadily increasing among the men, their discomfort growing with every step they took in the direction of Syet territory. The temperature was somewhat more bearable and the landscape greener when morning came again, though it didn’t seem worth the dangers they might unwittingly stumble upon.
Stepping off the road a few paces, Gadiel knelt down in the sparse grass, fingers splayed against the ground. Aiva watched him, intent, curious of what he might find. She wanted news of their enemy’s location. If they were making progress in closing the gap between them. It seemed like the pirates would have no choice but to stop and sleep eventually. There was no reason for them to not have been spotted yet.
Gadiel stared off into the distance. Listening. As if the wind whispered something only he could hear. After a moment a smile passed over his lips, eyes lifting to meet with Callum’s. “They aren’t far off,” he nodded, rising to his feet in a flourish. “An hour. If even so long. The traces are fresh. And, we are in luck. They have shifted to a more direct southward path.”
“We aren’t out of the woods quite yet,” Callum brought his hand up to shield his eyes, gazing in the direction Gadiel indicated. “Due south from here will still land us in Vaeduec. Perhaps I am the only one not comfortable with that, but I would like to avoid it at all costs.”
“I doubt anyone here blames you for being hesitant. You have more reason than the rest of us to be so,” Gadiel patted Callum on the back with a smirk.
Aiva felt foolish asking questions, though she felt she deserved to know what they were facing. What the possible dangers were. “If you do not mind my asking… why would the Captain have more reason to be concerned about the Syet than everyone else?”
Callum cast Gadiel an absent glance, looking away as Gadiel gave a hearty laugh. “It’s said that upon locating intruders, the Syet are known to fire a warning shot,” he chortled. “Typically into the head or heart of whoever leads the group in question.”
“They what?” Aiva gasped, blinking at Gadiel in disbelief. It was a horrible thought. She didn’t want to accept that any race of people could be so savage. “It does not seem as if it would classify as a warning shot if it is a direct assault.”
“They are a very direct people,” Callum sighed. With a snap of his fingers he motioned Gadiel and Aiva back to the road, gesturing to the troops to turn down the southern fork. “With any luck, the pirates will shift eastward again soon, though I would prefer to catch them before they escape Carpaen. If we are going to do that, we need to keep moving.”
She didn’t dare ask any more questions. Callum preferred to keep conversations to a minimum amongst the soldiers while walking, to better allow them to note signs of a possible ambush. Aiva had found herself becoming self-conscious already of her continued presence among the troops, more aware of their aloofness in regards to her. Unnecessary inquiries only made her feel worse. She was a lone woman amidst a handful of men who had spent years in training to do the job they currently were set out to do. They doubted her skill as a fighter and ignored her in most other instances. She was a burden. A stowaway who did nothing but distract their leader by requiring a constant eye kept on her for protection. Aiva wanted them to respect her. After her talk with Kaemin, she realized it would take a great deal to get them to see that she was capable of handling herself. That she was more than just a prissy princess.
Regardless of what the men thought of her, she chose to keep near the front by Callum. She was the Princess, and therefore had every right to remain by the one in charge. Occasionally she noticed his eyes stray over to her, almost curious as she pushed to keep up with his long strides, saying nothing.
The silence was uncomfortable. Aiva tried to ignore it by imagining herself as a great warrior, scouting an unexplored terrain, head snapping to investigate every shadow, every tree. She
recalled the stories her mother had told her as a child of the war. How the Sanarik soldiers would conceal themselves, firing their arrows from the cover of the woods. In her head she could picture it. How exciting it must have been! Frightening, without doubt, but invigorating. To feel so alive in the face of death. And her mother had conquered those fears. She’d been the bravest warrior next to Cadell and the King. She and Callum were descended from greatness. It seemed only right that the two of them would walk, side-by-side, into battle.
A scent of fire wafted along a gentle breeze to reach her nostrils. Head perking up, she scanned the area before them, tapping Callum’s shoulder to point toward a tendril of grey smoke rising up in the distance, Callum’s eyes already peering in the direction she indicated. “Either they failed to extinguish their fire, or they remain at their camp,” he mused. “To not be on the road by this time of morning seems unlike them. I fear it might be a trap.”
One of the other men stepped up from behind Aiva, his hand lightly resting on her shoulder. “Wouldn’t it be best if the Princess hung back?”
Aiva spun around, her forward progress halted, staring into the man’s pale yellow eyes. He looked young. A newer recruit. The light brown shade of his hair had been softened by their time in the sun, making it almost appear blond, skin tanned. She was prepared to yell at him for presuming her incapable of protecting herself, yet she could find no condescension in his expression. Only genuine concern. It was impossible to hold him in contempt. “I prefer not to hide when I might be of more use at the Captain’s side.”
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Two: Beyond the Veil Page 21
