Breaking his grip with one hand, Callum reached out, mussing Aiva’s hair playfully. “Is that all you’ve got?” he taunted. Nervously, she gave a light slap across Callum’s stomach, afraid of hitting him too hard.
“At least when I suggested playing games in Palinon, I had the wine to blame it on,” she breathed, deflecting his hand from coming at her head again. “You are completely sober, as far as I know. Has Enokih been slipping you alcohol while I wasn’t looking?”
“I wouldn’t drink anything she brought me,” he grumbled. In a swift motion he let his arm slide behind Aiva’s legs, sweeping them out from under her. Keeping her firmly in his grasp he laid her on the cushions, taking advantage of her disorientation as he grabbed onto her arms, pinning them above her head with a smirk. “I thought you weren’t going to go down so easily?”
Her chest heaved from the exertion of their match, staring up at him, dumbfounded. For an injured man, he certainly maintained his strength quite well. She blushed to think that she didn’t mind having him looming over her, his strong hands securing her beneath him. Abashed, she tried to laugh away her discomfort, shaking her head. “I demand a rematch when you’re healed. This was unfair. I couldn’t strike for fear of hurting you. It’s why you insisted on fighting me.”
“Yes, I suppose you caught me,” he nodded with a sly grin. “But to your credit, you gave it a good try. The lack of fabric over your skin made it harder to get a good hold on you. And you were right – you’re rather sweaty and gross.”
“You’re not much better. Your body is dripping all over me as we speak,” Aiva wrinkled her nose. She could feel the moisture from Callum’s bare chest pressed against her. Under any other circumstances she might have been revolted by the sensation. While stuck in the insufferable heat of the jungle, she’d forced herself to accept that sweat was unavoidable.
He gazed down on her, the cheerfulness in his eyes slowly beginning to wane, replaced by the familiar somberness that had been ever present since they set out from Tanispa. She sympathized for him, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. Whatever was on his mind troubled him. Pain seemed the most likely culprit, but it wasn’t the agony of any physical wound she saw in his eyes. Instead it was as if he was pleading with her silently, his hands maintaining their grip on her wrists, holding her firmly against the cushions. “Aiva, please don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what?” she asked, swept away by the desperation in his voice. He wasn’t making sense. Her body was completely in his control. There was nothing for her to stop doing.
Shaking his head he grimaced, eyes steadily locked with hers. “The hunt,” he whispered. “Please tell me you will decline King Ihklos’s challenge. Surely he will understand your reasons. This jungle is not familiar to us. He can’t expect you to take on whatever beasts his warriors face on a daily basis.”
So that was it. He was still worried about the hunt. And she couldn’t blame him. Her own fears continued to run rampant at the possibilities of what she would come across in the jungle. Even with Uttae’s company, there was no guarantee of safety. He could only protect her from so much. But there was no other choice. She’d already made up her mind. “I have to do this, Callum. We already discussed it. It’s a single night in the wilderness in exchange for our transportation out of this sultry place.”
“But you’re frightened as well. I can see it in your eyes.”
“My fears have nothing to do with it. While I would prefer to stay at the palace with you, I recognize that I cannot. King Ihklos is not unreasonable. He simply desires to test me. He thinks me a goddess. I’m sure the possibility of harm befalling me never crossed his mind. In this culture, they consider one with the abilities I possess to be inhabited by their spirits, and surely the spirits would never fall to any worldly beast.”
“Then he should be made aware that you are not immortal. You may look like a goddess, but your body will die just like any other man amongst his warriors. Just like his father,” Callum frowned, the desperation in his voice growing, fingers tightened around Aiva’s wrists. “Aiva, I have only just begun to feel that my best friend has returned to me. I’m not willing to let you go again so easily.”
“So I have noticed,” Aiva breathed.
Callum glanced down at her pinned hands as if seeing them for the first time. His grip loosened slightly, making no move to free her from his grasp. “I will hold you here as long as it takes to convince you to change your mind. I know you well enough to know you will wriggle away from me if I give you a chance, and your life is not something I’m willing to play games with.”
“This is not something we have a say in any longer,” she replied quietly. If she could have kissed him in that moment, she would have. He looked miserable. So desperate and forlorn. But she couldn’t reach his lips. Why did he have to be so strong? It was probably for the best. Although it felt the right thing to do, she knew it would be a terrible mistake. While her intentions would be to ease his troubled mind, he would only grow more insistent that she not involve herself in the hunt. Their friendship was a strong enough cause for him to argue. She couldn’t risk making it more personal.
“We always have a say in our decisions, Aiva. This is no different. Why do you feel the need to throw yourself into this unnecessary danger if there is a chance King Ihklos could be persuaded to help us under different terms?”
“Callum, I know I have proven rather impetuous in the past, but I assure you that is not the case presently,” Aiva sighed. “I have weighed the options and frankly this makes the most sense. It will have us on the water again in the least amount of time, and that is what we need. We don’t have time to dawdle with negotiations the way we did in Palinon. We can’t drink our way to favor with King Ihklos. These people are warriors. They respect those who can fight. To back down from the challenge would show weakness, and if there is one thing I know with any certainty, it is that the Vor’shai are not weak. My mother and father would not turn their backs out of fear. They would face it head-on. What kind of queen would I be if I ran away at the first sign of danger? Certainly not one who could lead her people to victory against the Ven’shal, the way my grandmother did. The way our parents did. What do you think your father would do?”
“My father is not heir to the throne…”
“That’s not what I asked,” she stated firmly. “What would your father do if presented with the option to hunt or linger here, wasting more precious time?”
He hung his head in defeat. “My father would accept the challenge,” he said, despondent about the admission. “But if he was in my position and your mother in yours, he would argue the same as I do now. There is no shame in my desire to keep you out of harm’s reach. It’s my duty, as the Captain of the Royal Army, and as your friend. If anything happens to you, I can never return to Tanispa. I would be shamed.”
“No one would have to know the conditions of my death. You could tell them you washed up on the shores alone without any knowledge of my attempts to rescue you. It wouldn’t be a lie; merely a stretch of the truth. Much like what you and your men did regarding Ireni’s capture in Siscal. You didn’t lie about what happened – you simply left certain details out.”
“It wasn’t the shame laid upon me by the people of Tanispa that I referred to. If I let anything happen to you, Aiva…” he winced painfully at the thought. “I couldn’t live with myself. Not when I know that I am in some way capable of preventing this from occurring.”
Aiva chuckled miserably to herself. “You cannot prevent this from occurring, Callum,” she said softly, wishing she could release her hand to touch his face. To provide some form of comfort to his troubled mind. “Once we reach Ghaient, the Tuniron warriors will pry your hands from my wrists and usher me inside the palace, regardless of anything you say or do. It would grant you far more dignity if you let me go. Have some faith in me. I kept up with the boys when I was younger. Knowing I have your support, I just might be able to keep up with the men no
w.”
“You already keep up with the men. You’ve done so since the moment I set you on your feet to walk alongside my unit in Kaipoi. I put you through your paces, worse than many men in my training ever had to endure, and you came through it without complaint. You faced every challenge with the bravery of the most courageous Vor’shai soldier and you possessed nothing more than the lessons taught to you by my father while the others who fell along the way had years of military instruction. I have the utmost respect for you. Do not think that my urging you to back down has anything to do with lack of faith in your ability. You have nothing to prove. Not to me, not to the Tuniron King, not to anyone.”
“Then let me prove this to myself,” she said quietly, gazing up at him fondly. He was so sincere. She could hear the admiration when he spoke and it made her heart swell with pride. To think that she had gained such respect from him. After all the foolish things she’d done, he somehow held her with a regard higher than anything she could have hoped for. But she didn’t feel the same about herself. Her journey to become worthy of such praise was only just beginning. If she could conquer the jungle, the pirates would be nothing more than a trifle. Seeing Ireni fight made it obvious that mere tactics from her lessons with Cadell wouldn’t be enough. She needed confidence. To overcome the fear of her enemy, regardless of the danger. Without that, she had no chance in a battle against Ireni’s men. And judging by what she’d witnessed of Ireni, Callum would need Aiva at her best.
Reluctantly, Callum backed down, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on Aiva’s forehead. The gesture reminded her of Edric, tears burning at the corners of her eyes, not wanting Callum to move away. To her relief he stayed close, releasing his hold on her wrists to wrap her in a tight embrace, lifting her shoulders from the cushions. “If I can’t convince you to stay behind, then promise me you will be careful. I have already lost too many good men on this mission. Don’t make me stand with my sister under the stars in hopes that I may someday find your light again.”
She returned the pressure of his arms, lighter than he held onto her, afraid of hurting him. Tears escaped from over her lashes at his words. It was embarrassing. She hated the thought of him seeing her cry. After all the praise he bestowed upon her for courage and strength, she couldn’t let him see her melt into a puddle of salty tears now. “Karana will have to wait a long time before I let her take me away from you,” she assured, choking back a quiet sob. There was too much left for her to do in life. She couldn’t consider the possibility of following Kaemin into death so soon. It wasn’t an option.
“Good,” Callum nodded, drawing away from her slowly. “You are so stubborn; Sytlea would probably throw you back anyway.”
Aiva chuckled to herself, wiping the remnants of tears from her cheeks. They sat in awkward silence, laughing quietly at their own discomfort. She didn’t know what to say. What could anyone say at a moment like this? Nothing felt right. She wanted to lighten the mood, but anything too cheerful felt out of place. It was obvious by Callum’s fidgeting hands that he shared her frame of mind.
Idly she wiped away the sweat on her skin left behind from Callum’s embrace. She looked up at him with a smile, flicking the droplets off her hand in false disdain. “I must say, that was possibly the stickiest and most disgusting hug anyone has ever given me.”
“Oh?” Callum’s brow rose, inquisitive. He grinned slowly, leaning forward to wrap his arms around her in a bear hug, rocking back and forth while pressing his sweat-covered body against hers. She flailed wildly under his hold, gagging playfully.
“Ugh!” she gasped, her hands sliding over his slippery skin in attempts to teasingly push him away. “Boys are so gross.”
He chuckled, pulling away with a sly smirk. “You aren’t exactly the most elegant of girls yourself right now. If Lady Faustine saw you, she would be in fits. I was always told that ladies don’t sweat. You certainly have proven that false.”
With more care than before Callum lowered himself onto the cushions, flattening his back to relieve the tension of the muscles around his ribs. Aiva remained seated, watching him carefully. She admired every movement of his body, made clear by the lack of fabric covering his skin. It was no wonder Ireni had been unable to keep her interest in him purely business. How many other women had swooned over him during his time in Siscal, only to be turned away because of his lingering emotions for the girl Aiva used to be? For that child he used to push around and tease whenever he came to play with her and Edric? It felt strange to think of him now. To see him as a man through the eyes of a woman. Before he left, he was nothing more than a boy. She blushed to realize that was no longer the case. Her mind was just as guilty of sinful thoughts as Callum’s had been while in Siscal.
“Your face is a beautiful shade of scarlet,” Callum mused. “Are you embarrassed by the fact that you sweat? If it makes you feel better, it’s almost sexy – though that might have something to do with the outfit you wear as well.”
She could feel the blood rushing warmer to her cheeks, adding to the already crimson hue which brightened her skin. It didn’t help her bashfulness to hear him speak of her in such a manner. Sexy? That wasn’t a word she’d ever heard him use to describe her before. It wasn’t a word she would have considered herself to be. “You think I’m sexy?” she asked, chiding herself for pushing the comment further. Leave it alone…
He cocked his head to one side, peering up at her curiously. “Do you not think you are?” he asked in genuine confusion. “Have you looked at yourself recently, Aiva? A lot has changed about your figure since we were young. Back then I thought you were pretty, but that word no longer does you justice. If I had known the beautiful woman you blossomed into while I was away, I’m afraid my mind would have wandered far worse than I already like to admit it did.”
“How did I keep your interest so long?” she asked suddenly, the words tumbling from her lips before she could stop them. It was an honest question. One that she’d wondered ever since laying eyes on Ireni in Palinon. Ireni was very much a woman in every feature. Undoubtedly capable of making any man forget a childhood crush with a single swivel of her hips. “There must have been plenty of beautiful women to cross your path over the years. And Ireni… how could I compare to her? She is incredible. Even for an Esai. I could only hope to have the confidence in my body that she clearly possesses.”
“Oh, Aiva,” Callum shook his head sadly. With a strained groan he sat up, his hand lightly reaching to brush a strand of hair from Aiva’s solemn face. “You really have no idea,” he said, his voice soft. Quiet. Barely above a whisper. “It is Ireni who should compare herself to you, not the other way around. There is more to making a woman beautiful than the curve of her body – not that you lack them anymore.” Callum chuckled, his face flushed somewhat at the remark. “You threw yourself in the icy waters of the Vai’ld Sea to save the life of an undeserving soldier without care of the deadly creature which would have taken your life in an instant. Do you think Ireni would have done the same? Even when you were a little girl, you were fearless. Ireni is threatened by you. It’s why she reacted so irrationally to see you with me. She knows she could never surpass you in my mind.”
“You are far from an undeserving soldier, Callum. I think we both suffer from severe modesty issues,” Aiva chuckled nervously. It amused her to think of Ireni feeling threatened. She spoke so confidently about how no woman could better her. Could it really have been all an act? “Do you find it strange to think about our friendship as children in comparison to where we have found ourselves now? When you look upon me, do you feel odd to picture me as a woman instead of a little girl?”
He pondered the question, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I’m curious why you ask. Do you have trouble picturing me as a man?”
At the thought, she lowered her eyes demurely, unable to contain a nervous giggle. It wasn’t difficult to picture Callum as a man. He was everything a woman could want. Handsome. Brave. Loyal. The best in all
of Tanispa. How had she managed to win his heart? “With you dressed like that, I don’t think a woman could have trouble picturing you as anything but a man,” she laughed, the sound slightly louder than she intended. Please don’t let him notice my discomfort… “I was just curious. We have known one another for so long. It seems like it would be somewhat odd to suddenly see your best friend in a more… intimate way.”
“I admit, it came as a shock the first time you crossed my mind in that manner,” he nodded. His eyes grew distant, staring at her, surrounded by the bright light of the sun shining through the curtains. She flinched to feel his fingertips brush the bare skin of her abdomen, feather-light, coming to rest gently on the curve of her hip where she knelt in front of him. “Since the day I first laid eyes on you again from the lists at your parents’ celebration, I have been unable to think of you as anything other than the woman you are. Our past friendship only makes me feel closer to you.” His hand slipped away, returning to his side as he lowered onto his back. “Perhaps it is the fact that I know I cannot have you which makes me not think it strange.”
Aiva shifted uncomfortably, her hands wrapped around her stomach to conceal the skin from view. It didn’t seem appropriate to flaunt her body in front of Callum while discussing the idea of giving herself to him. If only there was a way to hide his bared figure from her as well. Her feelings might not have been obvious for as long as his, but it didn’t make them any easier to push back. A slight change of topic might do them some good. “You know,” she stated slowly, clearing her throat with a bemused smile. “I had a chance to speak with Edric during our short stay on the ship. He confirmed that Lady Faustine was collecting your letters to hide them from me. It seems they were presented to my mother around the time of my twenty-fifth birthday. Somehow along the way, they were snatched from the container she stowed them in. Edric believes Shaelyn to be in possession of them.”
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Two: Beyond the Veil Page 55
