Amery looked torn. “You sure?”
“Yeah.” He touched her cheek. “Thank you for seeing past my bullshit and sticking around today.”
“You’re welcome. But as soon as you’re out of here, we’re having a talk about all the bullshit I can’t see past, the things you kept from me that forced me to walk away from you in the first place.” Amery kissed his wrist. “I’ll see you later.”
After she left, he picked up the phone.
CHAPTER THREE
DURING their conversation in the hospital, Amery had felt like the lines of communication had been reopened and Ronin wanted to establish trust and honesty between them.
But apparently that honesty didn’t include sharing his plan to escape from the damn hospital.
The stupid, stubborn man needed to be hog-tied to his goddamn bed—and not for sexy fun and games. Imagining him in a straitjacket, his ankles bound to the bedposts and a gag in his mouth, didn’t cool Amery’s fury even a little bit.
As soon as the elevator doors opened to the penthouse, she barreled down the hallway. “Ronin Black, you lying asshole. Get your butt out here right now before I come in there and kick it!”
“No need to shout.”
She whirled around and saw him reclined in the far corner of the dark living room. “What is wrong with you? Why did you sneak out of the hospital?”
“I left because I wasn’t getting any rest anyway. I need the solitude of my own surroundings to help me heal.”
“And a phone call informing me of that was too much to ask?”
“I wasn’t thinking straight.” He sighed. “The food sucked. I felt like I was suffocating.”
Amery studied his face, seeing the lie in it. “Then maybe you should’ve heeded your doctor’s advice after your freakin’ head injury and stayed put for another day.” She balled her hands into fists.Had anything changed with him? Or would he continue to feed her half-truths because she’d always swallowed them without question?
Fuck. That. “Who drove the getaway car? Not Knox, because he was with Shiori at the hospital. He was just as spitting mad as your sister.”
“Did you go to the hospital?”
“Not after I got the angry phone call from her accusing me of aiding in your escape. I came straight here. Who helped you?”
“Zach. For the record, he wasn’t happy either.”
“Let me guess. You pulled that I’m your sensei bullshit.”
“Pretty much.”
“So why didn’t he stick around?”
“Because I made him drop me off in the alley.”
“Unfuckingbelievable. Why aren’t you in bed?”
Ronin dropped his head into his hands. “Because my bedroom was too goddamn far away. Head injury, dislocated kneecap, sore ribs. Who knew walking that extra five hundred feet would be so difficult?”
She forced herself to quell her anger and reminded herself she was here to take care of him. “You’re lucky I hadn’t shredded the keycard you gave me.”
“I didn’t change the codes because I was holding out hope that you’d show up and ream me for being an ass—kind of like you’re doing right now.”
“I haven’t even started to ream you.”
“It’ll have to wait. I need you to do something for me.”
“What?”
“Inside the coat closet, on a hook above the light switch¸ is a key ring. Can you grab it?”
“Where’s the coat closet?”
“End of the hall past the elevator.”
In all the times Amery had been in Ronin’s place, she’d never noticed the pastoral mural on the wall wasn’t just a framed picture but a sliding door. She found the keys and brought them to him.
He selected a key with a circular end. “Below the call button on the elevator panel is a small open circle. This key fits it. Turn it until the word lock appears in red letters on the panel.”
“And I’m doing this . . . why?”
“I’m locking the elevator car up here so no one else can get in.”
“Good thing I planned to stay over.” After locking them in, she returned to the living room to see Ronin hunched over, his head in his hands again. She crouched next to him. Even lying strapped on the gurney in the hospital, Ronin hadn’t seemed this helpless. “Tell me the truth about how you feel or I swear I’m calling an ambulance.”
When he whispered, “I’m in agony,” she briefly closed her eyes, knowing that admission probably hurt him as much as the actual head injury.
She ran her fingers through his hair and he winced at the contact. “Where are your painkillers?”
“On the kitchen counter.”
“I’ll get them.” After he downed the pills, she said, “Stretch out. I’ll get a pillow and a blanket.”
Ronin raised his head, and she saw it pained him. “There’s not enough room for both of us on this couch.”
“But I thought—”
“You said you’d be in my bed. I’m holding you to that.”
“You are so stubborn. What if I roll over in the middle of the night and somehow hurt you?”
“It’ll hurt me much worse if you’re not right there beside me.”
God. The man was relentless. “Stand up. I’ll help you to your room.”
Ronin was shaky and sweating by the time he rested against the platform bed. She eyed his clothes. Baggy athletic shorts and a baggier Denver Broncos jersey. “Where’d you get the clothes?”
“Zach brought them. Easy to get on.”
“Let’s hope they’re easy to get off.” She pulled the jersey, trying to free his arms.
Ronin murmured, “I love to get you off.”
“Please focus.”
“I am. Where I should be. Entirely on you.”
She looked at him. Her stomach cartwheeled at the determination in his dark eyes.
“You’re beautiful, inside and out. I’ve never had anyone in my life like you. I’d say I didn’t realize that until it was too late and you walked out, but I knew it from the moment I met you.”
Ronin Black saying that mushy stuff meant the pain pill had kicked in. “Hang on.”
“That wasn’t a lie when I told you the scar on your arm is the Japanese symbol for my name.”
“I know. I only said that to hurt you.”
“It worked.” He briefly closed his eyes and shuddered. “I’ve been in fucking misery since you left.”
“Hold still while I pull this over your head.” Amery froze once she’d removed his shirt. Her first glimpse of the mass of bruises on his torso made her gut clench. “Oh, sweetheart. Look at you. Why did you do this to yourself?”
“Pain made me forget.”
Just for a moment, she rested her cheek above his heart. “Crawl in before the pain meds knock you out.”
He gritted his teeth and pulled himself onto the bed.
Amery curled up beside him, watching him closely until he’d fallen asleep.
But she was too keyed up to stare at the ceiling or to listen to him breathe. Happy as she was he was resting, the day’s events had only muddied the waters and postponed their long-overdue conversation. Restless, she slipped out of bed and wandered through his apartment.
With the bright moon and the temperate night, she would’ve loved to sit by the pool. But with her luck, she’d screw up the elevator if she tried to get to the roof. So her entertainment choices were staring out the windows or watching TV.
She flipped through channels for what seemed like hours and then drifted off.
That’s when the dreams started in again, and she didn’t have the mental energy to fight to stay awake.
Some nights the dreams were so sex-fueled she rolled toward his side of the bed, searching for the warmth of his body, the scent of his skin, the familiarity of his hands. Only to feel an empty spot beside her. Then the longing was so potent she cried into her pillow upon awakening.
Some nights the dreams were sensual, featuring a cloaked fig
ure wielding ropes. Although she never saw his face, Ronin’s mesmerizing voice drifted from beneath the black hood. He praised her bravery and beauty as he tied her in elaborate configurations.
But tonight the dream took a different turn. She was naked and gagged, suspended above the floor.
Loud circus music distorted the silence. Then Ronin appeared with a flourish, dressed as a ringmaster.
She dangled above his head, out of reach, bound with black ropes that abraded her skin, but he didn’t acknowledge her. Applause surrounded them, and he took bow after bow—deep, formal jujitsu bows. And every time he bent over to acknowledge the adoration, his mask would fall off. But just as quickly, a new one would appear.
It hit her like a fist to the stomach that she didn’t know this man at all. She shouted at him to cut her loose, but with the gag blocking her mouth, no sound came out at all.
That’s when she woke up. She blinked at the strobelike effect coming from the TV and had a flash of panic. Where was she?
Then she remembered.
Ronin’s.
She ran a hand through her hair. Jesus. Talk about fucked up. Amery didn’t buy into a lot of the new-age stuff, yet the dream unsettled her. The symbolism in it touched on too many of her fears about Ronin to merely be nonsensical.
Although she returned to his bedroom to check on him, she couldn’t sleep with him. Not until they talked about everything that’d been hanging in the balance the last few weeks. So she slept on the couch.
• • •
THE next morning Amery crept into Ronin’s bedroom to check on him. Judging by his peaceful expression, it looked like he did rest better in his own bed. Or maybe he’d doubled up on his pain pills. He hadn’t moved from the bed in fourteen hours.
You needed it, baby.
Amery placed a soft kiss on his forehead and tiptoed from the room.
After brewing a pot of coffee, she wandered through the penthouse, unsure what to do with herself. That’s how she found herself in front of the door to his practice room, wondering if he’d used it in the last few weeks. Prior to their split, Ronin had become more aggressive in his efforts to sway her into being his rope model for club demos.
She rested her forehead against the cool wood, her hand on the doorknob, her heart pounding crazily as the vivid memory of the last time she’d been in the practice room surfaced.
“I want to do a suspension binding on you.”
Amery had looked at Ronin with alarm. “Hanging me from hooks and stuff? Like a slab of meat?”
Then he wrapped his long, strong fingers around her throat and lower jaw, guaranteeing her undivided attention. “No. Like a piece of art. Like beauty suspended in time.”
The intensity in his eyes had overwhelmed her to the point she’d felt her knees start to buckle.
“Do not move.”
After she’d found her balance, Ronin had merely said, “You don’t usually wilt at the first sign of heat, baby. Talk to me.”
“I don’t understand the suspension part of kinbaku. Why it appeals to you.”
“Or why it frightens you,” he countered.
Amery stared at him, this man who pushed her limits, this man who seemed to see right into the heart of her and refused to let her hide from herself. “It scares me to think I’ll be dangling from the ceiling naked.”
“I can assure you the riggings are completely safe. But it’s not the riggings that worry you.”
“No. It’s the impersonal aspect of suspension that freaks me out. Maybe it’s stupid to base that fear on the images I’ve seen in your bondage books.”
“Neither how you feel or your fears are ever stupid.” He gentled his hold and stroked his thumb along her jawline. “It’s never impersonal when I bind you. The only way I can allay your fears is to show you. Will you trust me?”
She didn’t respond immediately.
Ronin let her be indecisive. He didn’t push. Or cajole. Or guilt her. He just continued to hold her in place, treating her to that maddeningly erotic stroking motion of his thumb.
Only when she softly said, “Yes,” did his demeanor change.
He devoured her mouth, taking, conquering. He pulled away long enough to say, “Clothes off. Hair down.”
She stripped slowly, needing the power in the moment when she bared herself to him.
As soon as she was naked, he centered his hand on her belly, signaling for her calmness. He murmured, “Beautiful,” and placed a single, soft kiss on her lips. Then he stripped to the waist, laying his gi top over her clothing, another simple sign he’d shelter and protect her.
“Drop to your knees. Arms behind your back.”
It was hard to focus on her breathing and letting the anticipation fill her when she heard a door being opened and closed, followed by a squeaking sound.
Then Ronin knelt behind her and stroked her hair. “I’ve decided against a full tsuri—suspension—today. I will need to blindfold you for the position.”
Heart rate racing, mouth dry, she managed to nod.
Cloth covered her eyes. Ronin clasped her elbows and brought her to her feet. “I’m going to start binding you now.” After planting a tender kiss on her shoulder, he positioned her arms into an elbow clasp behind her. He wound the rope from elbow to elbow, but somehow left her hands free.
A loop circled her neck, and she stiffened up.
“For the chest harness,” he explained. “Your torso will bear the brunt of your weight, but the ropes will do the work.”
Ronin’s explanation calmed her, as did the constant contact of his skin to hers as he turned her body into his canvas. His intensity filled the room. He maneuvered her backward until her butt connected with something solid.
Then her upper arms were squeezed by ropes. As was her midsection. A thick band of rope pressed her lower belly all the way to her pubic bone, splitting into two sections that ran alongside the rise of her mound and became a single rope again, nestled in her butt crack.
“Ronin.”
He was right there, touching her, nuzzling her neck. “I’m here.”
“Are you going to fuck me when I’m suspended?”
His soft breath teased her ear, and she felt his lips curve against her cheek. “Of course. You are too beautiful for me to resist.”
As soon as he stepped back, she felt ropes bisecting the flesh above her kneecap and high up on her thighs. Ronin pushed her forward slightly and began to add to the rope configuration across her back.
“Hold still. Here comes the lift.”
Amery felt the tension in her arms and shoulders increase, gasping when she became airborne. The distinctive noise of a pulley echoed to her from both sides. Then her legs were raised simultaneously, and she was spread completely open until her knees were level with her hips.
The binding around her chest squeezed. The ropes on her legs pulled. Although her buttocks rested against a hard surface, the ropes held her in suspension.
Immediately, she squirmed, shifting her hips, and moved her shoulders, but all the movement did was allow the rope to dig deeper into her skin.
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