His face stared up at her, more handsome than he had ever been before. Theodora wondered why she could not find words to speak. It wasn’t shock. She had known the day would come, Emily had teased her about it every single day, and her parents had also. But why couldn’t she give him the answer he needed?
Colt arose and took her hands in his. “You fear for love—” she shook her head but he could see her truth. “I can see it in your eyes. Love is about growth. We will be wedded and have all the time in the world to fall in love over and over again. You will be loved by all around you, my parents, your parents, and our staff. Our children will be most beautiful. Our daughter will have your grace and wit. Our son will have my bravery and charm.”
Colt got down onto his knee again. “So, Theodora, will be you be my bride?”
Yes, she had said, remembering her conversation only a few days before. Her mother had asked her, “What will you say to him?”
“Yes, Mother. I will say yes,” Theodora answered, as though it was the right thing to say, a reply that was simply right because it was expected by all.
“Are you certain it is love you feel for him?” Penelope asked her. It was a question that Penelope had asked her daughter a couple of times over the past month and oftentimes, it had bothered her greatly.
“Time will tell,” Theodora had answered.
Naomhan opened his eyes to the direct gaze of the sun. He hissed in anger before he realized where he was.
“You fell asleep outside again. What do you have against a good bed?” Father Damian asked him fondly.
“Nothin’, I just— I was tired,” Naomhan muttered as he pulled himself up to his feet, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hands. He cursed himself for oversleeping. There was work to be done; his mind went over his routine for the day.
“It is good you had some rest. You have been working too hard,” the older man said, as he patted Naomhan on the shoulder.
“Are ye off somewhere?” Naomhan asked, seeing the Father was already bathed.
“Your friend is coming over today with his bride-to-be. I just got word of it now. I would advise that you get dressed also. They will want to meet you.”
Naomhan’s dizziness left him instantly. Colt Ayers was coming with his bride-to-be. The last time the bosom friends had talked to one another, Colt had talked of nothing else but his new love interest. He had told Naomhan of her beauty, of her spirit—an eagle, he had called her. Naomhan had seen quite a number of beautiful women in England himself, but had never given himself the time to fall in love. He thought himself too sour to be worthy of any woman. But he was looking forward to seeing the woman Colt spoke of without end. He was happy for his friend.
“Who knows? If you beg me, I could show you to her friends. She has beautiful friends, also. There is one called Emily. She is lovely, truly is, but nothing compared to my lady,” Colt had jested and Naomhan had passed on the offer.
Naomhan’s mind came back to the Father and he realized he had to move quickly to get ready for their arrival. They were coming to see the Father so he could perform the nuptials, to arrange for the wedding.
In quick minutes, Naomhan was bathed and ready, dressed in a robe as was the Father, as they awaited Colt’s carriage. Naomhan could not help the laughter that burst out of his mouth when he saw his friend’s gleeful face when he got out of the carriage. Both men fell into each other’s embrace.
Colt pulled away soon from his friend and greeted the Father before he opened his hand to the door of the carriage.
“Father, Brother Naomhan, I want you to meet my bride-to-be, Miss Theodora Kent,” Colt said, as a hand came out of the carriage to take his. Slowly, a lady descended down the steps of the carriage.
Naomhan’s breath was cut in his throat when he saw her for the first time. Colt’s mouth moved even more as he spoke, but the words were inaudible to Naomhan, who was caught in a trance.
“Hey, Naomhan, say something, friend. She has been so keen to meet you. I have told her all about you,” Colt said. Naomhan smiled apologetically. He extended his hand to the lady and she took his hand, though shakily. He looked at her blue eyes and they were as the stars.
“It is good to meet you,” he dared to say.
“Yes, I, yes,” she stammered, quite flushed before she curtsied to him in a rather jumpy fashion. Colt showed his arm and she hooked her hand around his as they followed after the Father.
Naomhan stood there transfixed as he watched them walk away. He could not will himself to move, for his heart pounded in his chest. Why did he wait? He wondered, but knew the reason when she looked back at him one more time. It was recognition in her eyes.
It held the same as he knew his held. It was an old magic, told of in tales to the children gathered by the fire back in the Highlands, and played by the pipers when the men gathered to drink wine. It was the story of the butterflies. It was a feeling both pure and evil. Love, his mother often called it.
Standing before the deacon Naomhan McDonald, Theodora could not tell what overcame her. She heard it for the very first time, the anvil in her breasts, as her mother had called it. Her body trembled as did her legs and she could feel a fire burn under her skin.
When she dared to stare into his grey eyes, she felt the crackle of lightning and she had to put her hands away quickly because it felt wrong being so close to him and Colt was there, her dear Colt was by her side. Why is this happening to me, why now? Theodora asked herself but there was none to answer her.
As her groom-to-be led her away, she could not help but look back at the tall man with gray eyes, one last time.
Who are you and why do you make me feel so? Why are there butterflies in my belly whenever you look at me? Mother was right, wasn’t she? She was right.
8
Naomhan found himself lost for much of the proceedings that followed. He kept his face down as much as he could manage, trying greatly to avoid the face of his best friend’s bride-to-be. It rattled him that he would feel any attraction to his friend’s woman and yet, it was a feeling he could not help.
What is wrong with ye? Naomhan asked himself, slapping his temple in the times that he could excuse himself from their company. Every time he dared to raise his head, her eyes were there staring back at him, her blue eyes.
I am stronger than this. This is a sin, he told himself but even he didn’t believe it so. Naomhan had believed himself strong from a very young age. He had bested boys his age from a very tender age and by eight-and-ten, he had been able to go up against even some of the war-weathered men. His arms had been strong, courtesy of his father’s hardened inherited features and his feet had been quick, courtesy of his mother’s. The only man who had seemed to be able to best him was his cousin Stephen, who was a tad cunning.
There had been no enmity between both young men, as they had grown up together to be best friends and brothers even. He had been grateful to Stephen for coming to forewarn his parents of the coming of the Queen’s guards lest he would have been taken. He had wanted to write letters to him also but his mother, Isla, had instructed him otherwise.
“You are much stronger than me, faster even. You could go up against an army of redcoats and still survive. You can do almost anything but I will always be smarter,” Stephen had always said and Naomhan had always believed that. Stephen was the brain and he was the brawn. He could overcome anything that crossed his path with his fists but this was something he could not.
His heart was wretched in his chest with regret but the bitterness always disappeared whenever she looked his way. He found himself smiling to himself whenever she looked away from him, seeing that he had caught her staring his way.
Theodora—her name was a bell rung in his head continuously. He stopped staring when his thoughts began to draw on his lust for her. Naomhan had been with a woman once before, a very long time ago, but had not felt such for any female since he had been exiled from home.
He had used his pain as a shield for
his emotions but she broke it. For the first time since he had left the Highlands, Naomhan felt a glee build up in him. Though he sparred from time to time with Colt when they were alone together, he had never put his whole into it. He had let the Duke’s son win.
Theodora was his first true excitement. She was just like the pipers played and just as the storytellers told around fires. She was the beautiful fairy that granted men the desires of their hearts. But the only desire he wished of her was one he could not ask and one she could not give to him— herself.
At the end, Colt left Theodora with the Father. She always seemed to Colt as the curious kind, one that would one day want to go out into the world when she had consumed all the knowledge that his estate could provide.
“You are going to tell me that this is fast, aren’t you? Speak, I know it’s on your mind,” Colt said, as they walked along the church grounds.
“Nay, I wasnae going to say that,” Naomhan replied rather abruptly, scared that his friend might have caught him staring at his love interest.
“I think it’s fast—” Naomhan breathed easy when Colt said that “—I am not ready for marriage yet. I want to live, have fun, travel, and meet different women, but my parents wish me to wed now as I am heir.”
“So you are not in love with her?”
Colt burst into laughter before putting his hand on his taller friend’s shoulder.
“Sometimes, I don’t think you are English. Perhaps your parents were not, or further up your ancestry. You should be funny, sometimes,” Colt said trying to sidestep the question.
Naomhan did not repeat the question as he didn’t want to reveal the betrayal his heart held towards his friend.
“Love is not a word used with nobles. We have a responsibility to those beneath us and above us to wed, wed beautiful and perfect women like Theodora. Maybe I love her, I will not put too much thought to that, but with time, we will know. We will have forever to fully comprehend the meaning of love. What does my deacon friend know of love?” Colt asked Naomhan.
Theodora—that’s the definition of love, Naomhan thought to himself.
“I don’t know so much except that it is powerful. My father would say that it sometimes drove men to madness and made them do things they would not do on a normal day,” he answered and Colt laughed again.
“I might love Theodora. I don’t know. What I do know is that she is the most beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes upon. She is intelligent and curious. You should hear her sing and play the piano. It’s almost like an angel blessing a man.”
Naomhan found himself picturing it in his head. Theodora clothed in a lovely English gown and seated behind a piano playing and singing next to a window that opened to a vast field and mountains, the Highlands. He stopped the train of thoughts when her clothes fell off in his head.
“I look at her sometimes and I say to myself, ‘My sons are going to be the envy of all of England,’” Colt said boastfully.
“That is a good thing,” Naomhan said a little downcast. It was none of his business. She was already engaged to Colt but he felt angry for her. Perhaps Colt was going to stay faithful to her, perhaps he wasn’t, but he felt she deserved to be loved much more. She deserved a man who was head over heels in love with her and would love her not because of title, people, or just her beauty.
“Yes, it is. She will make a beautiful bride. My parents cannot stop talking about her. Father doesn’t criticize me so much, he has someone else to talk about,” Colt continued. “But I needed to come today because I will be off soon on a business trip in my father’s stead, for two months. He is preparing me, he says. I will not lie, however, I do enjoy travel. So let’s head back,” Colt said, and they turned back towards the church.
“I will want someone watching over Theodora. She will come over here a few times while I am away and I want you to take care of her. I must warn you, she will have a lot of questions. The Father can answer but he can get a little strict at times. So I will entrust you with that. She will need some guidance and wise company too, just as you have given me. So—” he patted Naomhan on the shoulder “—please, take care of her, will you?” But the unspoken words were clear between the friends. Colt wanted Naomhan to help watch her while he was away.
“Father Damian is a better choice, I—” Naomhan started to decline. He didn’t want to get any closer to Theodora. Perhaps if all he knew about her were the things Colt told him, he would be able to forget about her soon enough, he believed.
“You feel uncomfortable. But why? I never can put my finger on that part. How can you be so wise and so uncomfortable around new people? Just do it. It is settled. I bet even Father Damian would agree,” Colt said.
“No,” Naomhan said, before his friend ran for the church and Naomhan chased after him.
“Theodora, my love,” Colt called to her as he walked in to join her and the priest. Theodora stood in the midst of the pews looking even more beautiful than Naomhan remembered her to be. He looked away as she answered her lover. Colt put her arm under his and brought her to meet Naomhan again. It was as though her blue eyes dared him to speak the truth of his heart. But his truth was a sin, against his faith and his friend.
“You have my blessings to come to visit Deacon Naomhan here. He is my very good friend and he is much wiser than he looks.” The couple shared a laugh before Colt continued talking. “You can come whenever you can to ask any question you know. He almost knows everything, just as much as Father Damian.”
Father Damian nodded at the heir’s witty comment. Colt was always quiet, except in the company of his friends, especially Naomhan.
“Besides, you might need some company and he knows some exciting tales,” Colt said.
“I will surely keep that in mind,” Theodora answered. Naomhan still could not look at her, as it seemed she dared him, knowing the sins in his heart—his feelings towards her.
Stop looking, he wanted to blurt out but he couldn’t. It was his inner demon to battle alone.
Father Damian and Naomhan bid their farewell to Colt and Theodora as they headed back.
“She is such a beautiful girl and she has a wonderful spirit also. What do you think?” Father Damian asked Naomhan as they headed back themselves. Naomhan only shrugged. He didn’t enjoy talking about her. All he wanted was her, but all he needed was to forget about her. It was what was right.
“The heart tells what it wants but we decide, son,” Father Damian said to Naomhan as they drew closer to the church. Naomhan pretended not to know what the priest spoke of.
“Be careful,” he said before he left Naomhan.
Naomhan heard the priest and heard the words he did not say also.
Be careful not to fall in love.
9
Theodora awoke from a dream that was both beautiful and scary. There had been a man bare of all clothing in her bed with her. She was there, unclad as he was, clinging onto his beautiful body as his arm wrapped around her like a blanket, a shield from the entire world.
“I love you,” she said to him.
“I love ye,” he said to her and kissed her forehead. She rose to kiss his lips and that was when she saw his face. He wasn’t Colt. He was Naomhan.
She had awoken not as dramatically as she would have expected. The horror of it only dawned on her after she had woken and had thought on it. It was terrible that Colt’s best friend would appear in her dream. Though there was no control over the things that went on when one closed their eyes, she still couldn’t help the guilt she felt.
She wasn’t her usual bright self when she went down for breakfast and her parents noticed this.
“Is something the matter, Theodora?” Her father asked her.
“No,” she lied, as she tried to fake an appetite. Mr. Kent looked to his wife knowingly. She would know what to do about her daughter’s mood.
Bruce kissed his daughter good-bye before he headed out again. That morning, Theodora did not go outside with her mother to wave her
father off in his carriage.
Penelope knocked twice before she came into her daughter’s bedroom. Theodora wasn’t on her bed. She was by the window, looking outside with her arms folded over her breasts and lost in thought. She only turned when she felt her mother’s hand rest heavily on her shoulder.
“Have you been here long?” she asked her mother. Penelope sighed and pulled her back to the bed. When they were both seated, Penelope pressed the back of her hand against her daughter’s neck to check for a fever. Theodora pulled away and hid her face in her pillow.
Under a Highlander's Spell: A Steamy Scottish Historical Romance Novel Page 6
