by Hans Comyn
ON CELEBRATING HER
Women are treasures to be cherished and celebrated.
Celebrate all of womanhood in every woman you encounter.
This is your duty.
This is how to practice love.
To celebrate the woman you met does not require knowing her, it needs your empathy.
All it depends upon is your decision to celebrate the feminine spirit of this fantastic creature.
A man of duty has gained the freedom to be a slave to his desire for women, and celebrate them accordingly. His fascination with women is his weakness, and women will love this man because he proclaims this love, not in spite of it.
ON PRAISE
While it is important to celebrate all of womanhood in every woman you meet,
it is not a good idea to praise her carelessly.
With empty praise you deprive a woman of her chance to be seductive.
Many good-looking women no longer know how to be beautiful.
They forgot how to seduce because they are constantly praised, carelessly.
Empty praise is the tactic of a conniver, concealing an attempt to get something from her in return for his acclaim.
She does not need your empty praise, what she longs for is your presence.
ON THE CONQUEST
Women are not only treasures to be cherished and celebrated.
They are also prey that needs to be conquered.
While it is important to demonstrate seductive valor with the less attractive women through charm, it is equally important to reserve your most seductive arrows for the woman you are fascinated by.
Mark her for pursuit and hunt her down.
A woman’s strongest desire is to find a man she can trust enough to surrender to.
With that man she craves the freedom of being unable to say ‘no.’
A man’s strongest aspiration is to be able to seduce the woman he is captivated by.
When you conquer the heart of a beautiful woman,
when you gain her love through seduction,
you set her spirit free.
She feels like a woman and you become a man.
Seducing a beautiful woman is like a leopard taking an antelope.
Even though it may leap into the midst of a herd,
the leopard gives no attention to any antelope other than the one it first set its sights on.
He gets as close as possible, then makes a brief and explosive surprise charge, pouncing on his prey and subduing it with a bite to the neck.
Focus and, while waiting, do not hesitate to strike.
Be unyielding in your attack.
It is never non-seductive to pursue Her. She wants to feel chosen.
What is non-seductive is being attached to the kill.
While giving all in the chase, be graceful in loss. Don’t pursue past the point of surprise.
flirting with fire and fable
a mystery creature living in the forest
hiding, but not hiding danger
yet she – especially Her – cannot help but to find out
and a warned woman is worth a beautiful one
“Do not come any further,”
retreating...
“for I will not chase you – your interest in me is your own.”
but the concrete forest comes to life
while the world suddenly seems so mundane
the creature does not seem so scary anymore
and willingly She succumbs
ON THE DANCE
Seduction is not a solo performance,
it is a dance for two.
Once you recognize this dance, you will understand your role as a man.
Show up at the dance, invite her, lead the dance, taking her to places she likes to go.
Picture holding up your arm, giving her room to twirl… The man creates a space and invites her to shine in it, but it is the woman who decides whether or not to accept that invitation.
It is your role to make her sparkle. The better a dancer you become, the stronger your invitation and the more women you can let shine. A master seducer, then, can make radiate in glory a woman who never danced before.
ON THE DUEL
Seduction is a dance, but the encounter with a beautiful woman is in many ways also a duel.
As if swinging into a one-on-one showdown.
Of course there is tension.
Of course you are in the dark about what you need to do.
But this is it.
A seducer lives for this encounter. This is what he prepares for.
Even though he seduces at all times, he shows what he is made of when he encounters a woman who takes his breath away. He rises to the occasion.
The secret to seduction is timing.
Draw too soon, you jerk and miss. Hastiness exposes your level of self-absorption and makes seduction impossible. Don’t try to beat your time.
However, draw too late, and you’re shot down.
Take your time. Calm your mind, become fully present, and the darkness will lit up like a night by a pale moon. You will move with serene determination. You will unleash all your seductive powers and do the right thing.
You will draw, fire, and hit.
ON MAGNIFICENCE
Always aim for more magnificence. As soon as you strive to shine, you have luster.
Don’t try to stay humble. Don’t play small in the name of modesty.
Be grand, exceptional, audacious in your aspirations.
Then, and only then, life will do the humbling for you.
Hubris may come before the fall, but being falsely modest will never lift you from the clutching powers of the almighty mundane. To rigorously aspire to more greatness is sometimes hard, but the regret over what might have been will haunt you forever.
A man of conviction then is a man who - although he may not know his purpose, where he is going, what the path looks like, or even what the next step is - has chosen and knows that he has chosen to seek more sublimity.
And so a seducer always suggests magnificence. He gives the impression that he is doing something exceptional. That she is exceptional. That what they have is exceptional. He does not feed her information, he ignites her imagination. He transforms himself into a beautiful spectacle for her to contemplate. He lets her marvel in and with him.
Every seducer is also a romantic, and while romanticism does not entail blindness to the imperfections of what is, it does require the unrelenting aspiration to more magnificence. To hold every encounter to that higher standard inspires it to be extraordinary.
So speak to the woman who is dying to live. Drop your mask first, cut the chit-chat, go beyond the socially conditioned rhetoric, and share about the things you ache for.
Be sincere, authentic, raw and grandiose. Have panache! Sustain the illusion with marvelous grace if you must. The better you become at being your magnificent self, the stronger your invitation will be for her to do the same.
You become invincible, and She will be seduced.
ON POETRY
In order to be romantic,
To surmount the prosaic:
ritualize your routines
poetize your presence
sanctify your stories.
ON RITUALS & CEREMONIES
The day we lost our rituals, we lost in mindfulness.
The day we gave up our ceremonies, we forfeited our diligence.
Take away someone’s dreams, and they will die.
Bereave them of rituals and ceremonies, and they will be among the living dead.
This is, however, a blessing in disguise.
We are presented with a unique occasion: since we are not born into them, we are free to design the rituals and ceremonies we want.
Our modern lives are unmoored in more ways than one,
and what better way to anchor them than through a conceived honor,
a carved integrity, and our very own rituals and ceremonies?
Chosen ri
tuals and ceremonies carry a greater potential than the ones that are handed down to us. They have more mindfulness on offer.
The Way of a Seducer is in conceiving, choosing and creating our own rituals and ceremonies in order to grow in dedication.
And what better ritual to observe than the ancient dance of seduction?
To be a seducer is to be a master of ceremony for the seduction at play.
ON GRATITUDE
Gratitude grows the strength you need to fulfill your heart’s desire,
and as Casanova said, there is no honest woman with an uncorrupted heart whom a man is not sure of conquering by a dint of gratitude.
ON GRACE
Wake up and pause.
Consider who you are today and what you want your life to look like.
Set intention for the day.
Shower, brush your teeth, be aware of your movements.
Get completely dressed.
Watch the sun come up over the hills.
Be grateful for this day.
Make your bed.
Walk down the stairs with deliberate steps.
Greet the people you are living with.
Make some coffee. Make breakfast. Invite the others to share it with you.
Say grace.
Ask them about their upcoming day.
Eat slowly.
Clean up the kitchen.
Remember your heart’s desire, what you truly love.
Remember the thing you ache for.
Pace yourself. Count your blessings.
Start working at a set time.
Be completely focused. Be good in what you are doing. Functional beauty.
Use your words wisely.
Be kind and polite, elegant and decisive.
Make no excuses.
Remain purposeful.
Enjoy your journey, enjoy every moment.
Feel the rhythm.
Embrace the ceremony. Respect the ritual.
Close off your day.
Leave no trace.
Have grace.
ON THE LANGUAGE OF WOMEN
Women speak a different language than men.
To the extent that understanding women is pertinent to mastering the art of seduction, it is best to say that women speak their own language.
A language that is highly contextual.
A language of sub-communication.
A language of conspiracy… with you.
Decide to tune into this language and you will start hearing it.
As soon as you start hearing it, you will start speaking it,
and once you start speaking the language of women, they will be on your side.
ON INTUITION
A seducer senses his way through the land of women.
Intuition is instinct sharpened through experience, and to hone your craft of seduction till it is intuitive, you have to create experiences in the land of women.
There is no magic pill. There is no shortcut. Nobody earns a black belt from just reading about martial arts. Nobody becomes a great dancer only by observing it. You can learn some basic steps, but you will become a great dancer mainly by dancing.
So, set your intentions and create experiences in the land of women: Act anyway. Blurt. Express your desire. Proclaim your love for women. Invite. Push the envelope. Take the next step outside your comfort zone. Be more alive and animated. Practice, practice, practice.
Love is about losing, and the unsuccessful days will add up to something.
The evenings you went out alone, standing against the bar for hours on end.
The countless rejections. That girl you really liked who went for another guy. The encounters with those girls you would not want to be seen with. The kisses you would rather not remember, and the girls you thought you had to run away from in the morning or even before the midnight hour.
They are your becoming.
They grow your intuition.
When you set intentions and create experiences, you will become aware of the age old rhythm of women and men. You will recognize the patterns of the timeless dance of seduction. You will observe and partake in this ancient ritual.
You will become a master of ceremony, and know exactly what to do next - what to say, how to look, how to stand, when, where and how to touch.
You will find your way. You will find your voice.
You will find better ways to express your most magnificent self and your invitation to her will become impossible to decline. You will get it, and you will get Her.
ON PRESENCE
Once you are no longer afraid to act anyway and show up, then you can do less. Past the anxiety to start walking and start talking, beyond the fear to express your desire and speak your truth, you can do less rather than more. A master of ceremony facilitates in the background.
In the encounter, being is more than enough.
Because while you are thinking of what to say and what to do next, you are losing your number one seductive quality:
your presence.
Surely, nothing is more important than this encounter with Her.
Surely, there is nothing else than this present moment with Her.
Be true to the encounter with this woman right now.
Be attentive to the seduction at play, and avoid distraction.
Enter into nothing else, least of all in your head trying to figure out what is going on and what your next move should be.
Be in each instant with all your might, embrace it all, suck it dry, fix it forever in yourself, but never dwell on it… let it go graciously, without clinging, without regret.
Be present with her and she will become a present to you.
Listen to the silence at the core of this encounter. It will not fail you.
ON ECONOMY OF SPEECH
Like music, seduction thrives on the space between words.
The essence of seductive speech is in not speaking at all.
If you think that you can finish a conversation without speaking or writing,
end it without wasting another word.
Always be communicating, but talk less.
Paucity of words fuels their seductive prowess.
ON THE END OF THINGS
Something is born in order for it to die.
With every encounter, the end of things matters more than anything else, and it should be considered in every moment.
Fewer things are of greater importance to a man than to have women speak well of him, and is it not so that a woman’s embrace of her lover largely depends on the grace with which he bids her farewell?
Therefore, never go to sleep holding resentment toward your lover,
and when you leave her, always linger as to suggest reluctance.
Mark every occasion of parting with a farewell.
Every relationship has an expiration date, and when you try to hold on and draw it out past that date, it will have an unpleasant ending. When a relationship is destined to end, it is best to part from each other with good grace.
Letting go is the ultimate act of love. Be prepared to let go graciously and women will continue to speak well of you… and when you are wise to its ending, your relationship will have a better chance of lasting forever.
Make good connections your priority over lasting relationships,
and always ensure your words measure up as the last ones ever spoken.
I am filled with silence.
I love Life.
I trust it with all my heart.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hans Comyn is a modern renaissance man . artist . athlete . intellectual . seducer . writer . musician . philosopher . public speaker . traveler . cyclist . rebel . courtier .
He is co-creating community around the issues of love, romance and seduction.
get involved at hanscomyn.com
If we want to feel alive and passionate again,
iT is time to reclaim the art of seduction.
The Way of a Seducer is a code of h
onor to this lost art and sees in a seduction, based on integrity rather than manipulation, the secret to every thriving relationship, including the one we have with ourselves.
This book will change the way you look at your relationships forever.
“The Way of a Seducer beautifully blends a strong message of integrity, honor, and courage with the gentle essence of vulnerability, playfulness, and wonder. This book is unlike any other book I’ve ever read. Days after reading it, I’m still dwelling on its ideas as I interpret experiences through the lens of seduction, and seduction is everywhere.”
