Katie listened as the two students read their way through the story, halting often at difficult words. In the story, little Robert Helmuth had forgotten to shut the gate to the calf barn, and during the night his mamm’s garden had been raided. In the morning, Robert had denied his actions at first, claiming he had shut the gate. Only after his daett believed him had Robert found the courage to tell the truth, say he was sorry, accept the punishment he deserved, and know he was forgiven.
With the story completed, Katie dismissed the class and called up the third-grade students. She almost groaned out loud at the title of the story: “Emma’s Compassion.” Pushing thoughts of Ben out of her mind, Katie forced herself to listen as the students read the story of how Emma stayed home from school for a whole week to take care of her younger sister while her mamm was down with the flu and caring for a sick baby on top of that. Emma had to work extra hard the next week to catch up with her schoolwork, but she did. This great act of compassion helped make Emma a more gentle and loving person.
Noah glanced at her when they were done. He’s probably thinking about Ben, Katie decided. She dismissed the class without meeting the boy’s eyes. She was a kind and compassionate person, and she would practice her kindness tonight on Mabel.
Chapter Twelve
With a sigh, Katie glanced at the clock on the schoolroom wall. Two more minutes and she would release the children. This day had been a difficult and troubling one—not from anything the students had done, but from the thought of facing Mabel tonight. Should she let this problem pass? It would allow for a more peaceful atmosphere at home tonight. When the clock read three o’clock exactly, Katie stood in front of the students and said, “Time to go home. See you all tomorrow!” Most of the students were already prepared to leave, their books tucked inside their desks.
Oh, to be young again and carefree like her students, Katie thought. They had the whole world lying like a clean sheet in front of them while she felt like an old woman, her life soiled and dirty. Even the fresh start with Norman didn’t look all that gut right now. But maybe tomorrow would be different. She really needed a thankful heart for all the blessings she had, most of them had been sitting right in front of her eyes all day. They were “her” children. She had a gut teaching job, and her standing in the community was the best it had ever been. And tonight Mamm and Jesse waited for her at home with their acceptance, and Leroy, Willis, and little Joel were the brothers she’d never had. And Carolyn certainly cared for her. All of these things had been absent not so long ago. She didn’t deserve any of these recent blessings from Da Hah’s hands.
Katie walked to the window and waved as she watched the students scurry in the schoolyard. Several buggies were already waiting in line to pick up passengers.
Katie smiled as the first buggy left. The others soon followed except for one. The driver was climbing out of the buggy instead of taking off. Katie looked closer. It was Leon Stoll, Ben and Noah’s father. He was heading her way, his face looking drawn. What could the man want? Was Ben okay? Forcing her feet forward, Katie pasted on a smile. She was a schoolteacher now, and she needed to act the part. That was maturity, wasn’t it? Katie walked over and opened the door.
Leon stood there, holding his hat in his hands, for a few moments before he spoke. “Katie, you need to come with me to the hospital. Ben is calling for you. I waited until school was out to come. Ben’s had a serious setback.”
“A setback? What do you mean? He was doing well when I saw him.”
Leon bowed his head. “He’s developed an infection, and the antibiotics aren’t doing much good.”
“But I can’t come. Norman, the man I’m seeing, he won’t understand.”
“Katie, please! Our people understand such things. I know this is hard, and I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t know how much this might help Ben. We’re worried, Lavina and I. Hearing you speak words of comfort might give Ben strength and hope. Knowing you’ve forgiven him could encourage him to want to get better.”
“But I did forgive Ben. I was down there the other day with Willis. I told him then.”
Leon nodded. “I know, but at times we need to hear those things again. He’s mighty bad off, Katie. We need you to help us give him the courage and hope to fight to get well.”
Katie pulled in a deep breath.
Leon reached out and took her arm, steadying her.
What should she do? Katie wondered. Wasn’t it her Christian duty to go? And she hadn’t promised Norman this morning not to speak with Ben again, so she wasn’t going back on her word. If Ben’s daett thought it was important, then she should go. Norman would just have to understand, that’s all there was to it. Katie made her decision. “I will come then. But I must go home and tell Mamm first.”
Leon nodded. “Thank you, Katie. This will mean so much to Ben…and to our family. I’ll head back to the hospital then. Thank you again, Katie.”
Fifteen minutes later, Katie rushed toward home, her thoughts scattered. Though she’d forgiven Ben, she knew they had no future together. Yet she surely didn’t want him to die. But he wouldn’t die. Infections were common in hospitals, weren’t they? And they were giving him antibiotics. Still, the idea that Ben’s life might be in danger kept Katie moving at a rapid pace.
As she suspected, when she dashed into the house to tell Mamm where she was going, she was met with disapproval. “You can tell me all the reasons I shouldn’t go when I get home,” Katie said. “I promised Ben’s daett I’d be there, and I’m going.” With that she hurried back to her buggy and headed for the hospital in Dover.
In the parking lot, Katie tied Sparky to a lamppost and rushed inside. Going past the receptionist with only a quick nod, Katie used the stairs and rushed into room 320. Ben’s mamm, Lavina, was standing beside his bed.
“Thank Da Hah you have come!” Lavina said.
“It really is that bad?” Katie stopped short of the bed. Ben’s face looked even whiter against the pillow than it had the last time she’d seen him. He moaned, his lips moving but his eyes stayed closed.
“Yah,” Lavina whispered. “We wouldn’t have called you otherwise. They’re treating him for a staph infection with antibiotics. It’s all happened so fast. If he doesn’t fight, he might not live.”
Katie moved closer, her heart pounding. She reached out to touch Ben’s hand. The fingers that had once brushed her face were now pale and frail. The lips that had kissed her were colorless.
“Ben,” she whispered gently. “Ben, I’ve come. Can you hear me?” Katie repeated her call leaning closer to Ben’s ear.
Lavina moved away from the bed and sat down. “I’m sorry, Katie. We were hoping he’d recognize your voice and respond. We thought it might help.”
“Shall I stay the night? I can if you want me to and you think it might help.”
Lavina voice caught. “You would stay? Speak to Ben some more? I’m told they can hear sometimes, even when they’re like this.”
Katie managed a smile. “Yah, I have heard that myself. I will speak to him for awhile. Maybe it will help. What can it hurt?”
Lavina nodded, and silence fell between them.
Katie hesitated. It would feel strange talking to Ben in front of Lavina. And what was she to say? Ben and Katie had said so many things while they’d been together. Loving thoughts, tender words, and joy-filled hopes. Now none of those could be said. Still, Ben needed words of comfort, and she was duty bound to say them if she could. Katie took a deep breath and began in a whisper. “I loved you once, Ben. But you already know that. Everything I ever told you in those days was true. It came from my heart. I knew I’d never find another man I admired more. So what you did hurt me deeply. Yet I have forgiven you with the help of Da Hah. And I’ve done that with all my heart. And now I want you to go on living. Da Hah can’t be done with you down here on earth, Ben. He loves you—just as He loves all of us. And Da Hah also forgives. He gave us His dear Son, Jesus, to die for our sins. How can there be a gre
ater love than that?”
Katie glanced over at Lavina, who smiled through her tears and nodded.
Katie took another deep breath. “You wanted to see if our faith was worth it, Ben. Remember the trip I took to Switzerland? And all the doubts you used to have? I don’t know if you had your questions answered, but I found plenty of reasons to believe while in that country. Our people come from a great faith, Ben. They believed in their faith enough to die for it, and they were not mistaken. We saw the place where Felix Manz was drowned in the Old Town of Zurich. We saw the house where the first baptisms were performed. We stood by the fountain where the water might have been dipped from. We drove through beautiful towns perched on the hillsides where our people had to leave their farms behind and flee.
“It broke their hearts, Ben, and yet they counted the faith worth the price. We sang in a cave back up in the mountains where our people used to gather and sing and worship. This was the only place they were safe from arrest. We climbed into a hiding place inside a barn where they took temporary shelter before fleeing further into the mountains. We saw the castle where many of them were kept prisoner. Some were held there for years until their bodies wasted away.
“I wanted to tell you all of that when I came home, Ben. I wanted to help you believe and take courage. But then what happened, happened. I know you didn’t plan things that way or wish them to be so. But that’s how sin works, Ben. I’m sure you know that by now. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m trying to encourage you. I cried tears by the buckets when I heard the news of what you’d done. I didn’t know if I could go on. I wanted to lie down in that foreign country and die. That’s how much I loved you, Ben.
“I thought joy would never come back to my life. Then I thought maybe it could, but only after years and years. But Da Hah touched me a few days later, Ben. High up in the mountains of Switzerland, up in the Alps. We almost didn’t take the cable car up that morning because it was so foggy. But we did anyway on the chance that things might open up. And as we approached the last leg of the journey, the weather lifted. Those mountains were unbelievable!” Katie stopped to wipe her eyes. “They were like nothing I’d ever seen, before or since. They stretched from the right hand to the left as far as the eye could see. All laid out in a glorious splendor which shouted out the wonders of what Da Hah’s hands had done. The words were so loud in my ears, and yet there was perfect silence.
“I cried that morning, Ben. I soaked in all that glory. I saw what Da Hah had created. He’s a great Hah, Ben. There is none like Him. While we go about messing up our lives, He goes around making beautiful things—things unlike anything we can imagine or think. I wish you could have seen all of that.”
Katie paused. “My heart was healed that morning, Ben. Yah, I’ve cried many times since. And I still wish things had turned out differently. But Da Hah touched me with His glory. I remembered His promise that He would work all things for the best. And He’ll do the same thing for you, Ben. He can…and He will, Ben. Don’t doubt Him.” Katie paused. She was out of breath. And she wondered what Lavina was thinking about her words. Was she being too emotional? Too personal?
Before she could look at Lavina, a nurse came in and checked the monitors. When she’d gone, Lavina came up to stand beside Katie. Ben’s mamm hugged her with both arms. “That was so beautiful, Katie. Thank you.” She then turned to Ben. “My son, can you hear me? We love you more than we can say.”
She does love him, Katie thought. And I must still have a little love for him too. But the fact remained that she was here because it was the right thing to do. Tomorrow she would be at the school again. Norman would still be the man who would love her and, unless she missed her guess, marry her.
Chapter Thirteen
Katie awoke and rubbed her hand on her neck. What time was it? There was no clock in the waiting room, but it felt like early morning. A nurse walked by in the hallway, and a woman she’d seen last night was sleeping on the chair across from her. There hadn’t been time last evening in the brief glimpse they’d had of each other to find out what her trouble was. The concern on her face had been indication enough that someone she loved was facing a serious crisis.
Rising, Katie found her way down the hallway to Ben’s room. Lavina was awake and standing by the window that had the drapes pushed back. She didn’t look back when Katie walked in, apparently deep in her thoughts.
Two chairs sat beside Ben’s bed. One of them had Lavina’s shawl draped over the back. She should have slept in here with Lavina instead of staying in the waiting room, Katie thought. But that might have been too forward. Her mission was to help the family and Ben, but she wasn’t his girlfriend any longer.
“Is he sleeping?” Katie asked as she stepped beside Lavina. The first signs of dawn were creeping into the sky outside.
“Yah.” Lavina smiled. “Peacefully now. The doctor was in earlier. He thinks the worst is past, but I’m staying here for the day.”
“So he’s going to make it? That’s great news. I’m so glad!” Katie gave Lavina a brief hug and glanced at Ben’s still face. It would be so wunderbah to see a smile creep across his face right now. But she shouldn’t be thinking such thoughts. Katie quickly added, “Is Leon still having the Englisha driver come for me?”
“Yah,” Lavina replied as tears brimmed in her eyes. “I’m sure it was your speaking hope to Ben last night that pulled him through, Katie. We can never thank you enough.”
Katie shook her head. “You had more influence than I did. A mamm is close to her boy’s heart. But I’m glad if I could help.”
“You’ll never know how much you did.” Lavina wrapped Katie in a tight hug. “Do you want to wait for the driver outside in the waiting room?”
Katie’s gaze moved back to Ben’s face. “I think I will.”
“Perhaps it would be for the best.”
Lavina seemed to understand, much to Katie’s relief.
“You won’t tell him that I was here if he doesn’t remember, okay?”
“Not if you don’t want me to. Oh, Katie, I’m so sorry for what Ben did to you. I can never say how much. And I know Ben sorrows deeply himself. The boy has suffered more than you can imagine. What he did was a great sin, and I’m afraid he’s not through suffering over it.”
Katie pressed back her tears and slipped into the hallway. Perhaps it wasn’t over for Ben, but it must be over for her. Now it was best if she went home and continued with her current life. She’d done her duty; no one could fault her for that. Back in the waiting room, Katie settled into a chair. The woman across the room was stirring, her eyes bleary. Katie was ready to ask who in her family was ill when Leon came in, his face drawn from stress. He didn’t waste any words.
“Are you ready to leave, Katie?”
“Yah.” Katie rose and followed him down the stairs and past the receptionist desk. In the parking lot, Leon led the way to an Englisha car and tapped on the window. When the woman rolled it down, he motioned toward Katie. “This is who you’ll be driving home. Katie can tell you where she lives. And if you would come back afterward, I’ll be needing a ride home myself.”
“I’ll do that,” the woman replied.
“Thank you for taking Sparky home last night,” Katie told Leon. “And thank you for arranging this ride home.” She smiled at Ben’s daett before climbing into the passenger side of the vehicle. “Gut morning,” she offered to the driver with a tired smile.
“Rough night, huh?” the woman asked. “So you’re Katie? I’m Angela. Neighbor of the Stolls. Just trying to help out a little myself. It’s awful what’s been going on over at their place. A man getting shot in our neighborhood! Thank God they caught the guy.”
“Yah, it was terrible.” Katie gave directions to her home and then settled back into the seat as Angela drove out of town.
“Are you Ben’s girlfriend?”
Katie sighed. “Well, I used to be. But now I’m just trying to help out, I guess. Ben was calling for me
last night.”
“Oh, that’s darling,” Angela cooed. “Did the two of you have a falling out?”
Katie nodded, a lump rising in her throat. “Something like that.”
Angela winced. “Oh, that’s rough, sweetheart. And hard to get over, I’m sure.”
“I’m dating someone else now.”
“Oh…” Angela forced a smile. “Moved on, huh? Well, it does happen. And I can’t say I blame you.” Angela paused, as if she’d just thought of something. “The new boyfriend didn’t object to you spending time with the old one?”
Katie kept her eyes on the road ahead. “After I spoke with Ben for awhile, I spent the night in the waiting room. We weren’t sure if he was going to recover. And his mamm was with us the whole time we were together.” Katie struggled for words. “Ben…he was…in danger last night. He still is. When I left, he hadn’t regained consciousness.”
Angela reached over to touch Katie’s arm. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you, dear. It’s okay. This just shows your tender heart. And you Amish people are so good at helping each other.”
Katie gathered herself together. “We try.”
Angela slowed down for Jesse’s driveway. “And all of you do a great job. I’m glad I can do my small part this morning. Guess I’ll get some more chances to help out.”
Katie got out of the car after Angela pulled to a stop. “Thanks for the ride. I’m sure the Stolls will be very grateful for your help.”
Katie stepped back, and Angela waved as she left. Katie suddenly realized she’d had nothing to eat and was starving. She made a beeline for the house, hoping she was in time for breakfast. Then she paused and switched direction. First, she had to see if Sparky was okay. Leon had found an Amish driver last night to bring him home so the horse wouldn’t have to stand in the parking lot all night. She wanted to make sure he’d made it home and to rub his nose in thanks for the gut fast ride he’d given her to the hospital last night.
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