by Aileen Erin
“No. You can’t. Not after everything we went through to get it in the first place. The fake ID. The sketchy doctor. And I could get in so much shit if they find out I was the one who replaced your blood sample. No fucking way, Maité.” He stepped closer to me, and I could almost feel the heat of Roan’s anger. “We’ve talked about this. You gotta start blending in better. Most people have their neural lace implanted straight onto their brain by now, and—”
“But I’m half alien.”
“Don’t say that word.” His tone was outraged, but for no good reason.
“It’s not a dirty word. It’s what I am. I’m half Aunare. And that side of me is stronger than the Earther side. My kind can’t have implanted tech. I’m too sensitive for it. This will kill me—or worse—drive me insane. There’s no way I’d survive lacing my brain, so don’t even start with that again.” A neural lace hardwired all of a person’s apps, calls, games, and everything else they wanted straight into their cerebral cortex for maximum convenience. Earthers loved it, but if a simple finger implant and AR contact lens nearly drove me crazy with jolts of fire-hot pain, that kind of tech would kill me for sure.
“So, what now? You get your dinky-assed implant taken out and then go back to using a wrist unit? And then what’s going to happen to you?”
“It worked before.” My words were mumbled. I knew I couldn’t go back to that. I’d stick out, and I already looked too Aunare as it was.
“It worked because we were kids. We all had wrist units back then. But in a few days, you’re going to be eighteen. You can maybe pass for sixteen—maybe—but not once someone talks to you. You act and sound much older than you are. And I get it. You’ve been through shit. But babe, by sixteen most people already have the neural net. You need this implant or you’re going to get caught. And we both know what happens then.”
He was right. I knew it, but I still wanted the implant gone. It’d been a couple of weeks, and the burning pain was getting worse. Maybe if I—
“No way. Stop it.” Roan cut off my thoughts. “I know that look. You’re about to argue with me, but you’re just being stubborn and you’re wrong. You’re just going to have to suck it up. SpaceTech will kill you if they find you. Your family and your friends. Anyone who spent any significant time with you. Which means me. You have to get your shit together and stop cussing every time that thing gets an alert. People will start to notice. Not everyone is as smart as you, but not everyone is a freaking moron either. And you’re not some ordinary halfer. If they find out exactly who you are, there will be war.”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose, trying to find my Zen. “I know. I know. I’ll figure something out and—”
Someone tapped on my shoulder, and I spun. One of my newest students—Hillary—let out a gasp at my too-quick movement and I winced.
Shit. Shit. Just fucking shit. I’d moved too fast. Aunare weren’t like Earthers. They were an elegant race built for speed and fighting. It’s why I taught the class. Fighting for me was like breathing. But I couldn’t show these kids who I was. What I was.
When I taught my classes, it was painfully hard not to give in. Not to let my body move like it could. And in that one second, I’d given myself away.
Roan was right. I hadn’t lived this long to be stupid now, but the implant was distracting me. It was making me too on edge, and I couldn’t afford to forget my Earther façade for even a for even a second.
Hillary’s eyes were wide as she stared up at me. She’d had a close call a couple weeks ago and ended up in my class a little battered and bruised, but I saw the will to fight burning in her. I wanted to make sure that next time, she’d fight and win. “Are you— Was that—” She was too afraid to ask what I was.
“Sorry. You startled me.” I’d found that if you explained a movement away as being scared or excited or some other extreme emotion, most Earthers dismissed it. They didn’t want to find an Aunare living on this planet, especially if it’s someone they’d been spending significant time with. Hillary had been here every night for three weeks.
“Oh. Sorry,” she said, and her shoulders relaxed. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“We only have twenty minutes left in class.” She swallowed. “I need the practice.” Her words were barely audible.
I immediately felt guilty. “Of course. I’m so sorry I got distracted. Apparently, I’m having a day.” I shoved through the curtain. “Okay, everyone. I promise to stay focused on your training the rest of class.” My finger burned again and I bit my tongue. I swallowed the coppery tang of blood in my mouth along with another curse that was begging to slip out.
This had to get easier. Didn’t it?
Maybe not. At least not for me.
These girls? I could help them. Volunteering here three hours a day, six days a week took its toll on me. Especially since I also had my shifts at the diner. But if teaching them to survive was the only thing I did before I got caught, then that was something I could be proud of.
“We’re going to work off of bunkai number eight—the one you were just practicing—while sparring with Roan. Each movement in the bunkai is something that can be used to fend off an attacker. Roan is covered in padding, so don’t be afraid to let loose,” I said as I settled back into teaching.
Everything was going to be fine. I could do this. I could stay hidden, teach my classes, and save my money. One day, I’d be light-years away from here and safe. Until then, I’d dream about making my escape from this godforsaken planet.
CHAPTER TWO
About an hour after all the students left, I waited for Roan while he changed. He’d stayed through my intermediate and advanced classes to spar with me, sans padding. It was nice of him, especially since he knew I was going to kick his butt every time. It’d been good, but I was still on edge. I needed a second to relax. I needed to let my body really move, but I couldn’t do that, even with Roan. He could barely keep up with me at half-speed. I needed to actually unwind for one goddamned second. But now that everyone was gone and Roan was changing, all I wanted to do was go home and hide.
It was getting harder and harder to hold myself back, and I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. One of these days I was going to slip up—I was going to do something I couldn’t talk my way out of—and that one slip up was going to be the death of me and everyone I loved.
I sat at my desk in the dark and watched the news on the vidscreens. I could always tell my mom I was sleeping here if there was a riot or the police were out searching for their latest target. She wouldn’t love it, but spending the night in this shithole of a warehouse was better than risking my life to get home.
Supposedly, it hadn’t always been this dangerous. Way before I was born, SpaceTech—the biggest corporate conglomerate—took over all of Earth’s government. I didn’t know the specifics of it, but I hoped whoever thought that was a good idea was rotting in hell because it was an unmitigated disaster for everyone on Earth. As long as it didn’t hurt SpaceTech’s bottom line, they didn’t care what happened to us. Which meant we lived in a world with too much violent crime, corruption, and poverty.
But SpaceTech was good at one thing—expanding to grow a stronger power base. Their colonization and trade routes spread across the galaxy and they’d found dozens of other species to exploit along the way. But in all their greed to find more profits and colonize more planets, SpaceTech finally met a race that was stronger, smarter, and had better tech than them.
From all the stories, it had been nice between Earthers and the Aunare for nearly a decade, but when I was three, SpaceTech assassinated all high level Aunare officials living on Earth, and then started hunting everyone else on any of their colonies with ties to the alien race. In less than two weeks, most Aunare or part-Aunare people living on a SpaceTech controlled planet were murdered. Except the few of us that got away.
That was why I forced myself to watch the news multiple times a day.
I couldn’t get caught. Especially since me and my mother were the only two high level Aunare targets that managed to get away before SpaceTech could murder us. But there was a hefty reward for anyone who had information on us. And if someone actually turned us in, their whole family would be set for life and then some.
If things could get worse, I wasn’t sure how.
The news tonight was normal. One image caught my eye. A massive SpaceTech warship was landing on Terra 10—one of the colony planets on the edge of SpaceTech’s official empire. A report of increased Aunare activity in the area had more of SpaceTech’s IAF—Interplanetary Armed Forces—landing to secure the area.
If they said the Aunare were dangerous and they needed more forces in the area, then it had to be true. Right?
Except it probably wasn’t. I’d bet my day’s wages from the double shift I’d pulled at the diner that the Aunare weren’t even close to that colony. SpaceTech just wanted the humans to feel the alien threat all the time and used it to justify all the crap they did.
Slowly, all six channels—including the off the grid ones—changed to cover a new story happening on Earth. I flicked the button, linking all the vidscreens to show one large image: a half-Aunare guy, maybe a couple years younger than me, being dragged into an execution arena in Ohio.
Damn it. I looked away for a second but then made myself watch.
He was bleeding, dirty, beaten up. Whoever had found him and turned him in had clearly done a number on the guy. SpaceTech liked to make a big spectacle of murdering any person with Aunare blood or ties left on Earth. There was a sizable reward for whoever turned the enemy in. It wasn’t nearly as big as the one for me and my mom, but it was a game changer for most people. And they got the added bonus of having the best seat to watch the execution. I whimpered and squeezed my eyes shut, but that didn’t stop the sound coming from the screens. The guy pleaded for his life and the crowd yelled. Calling him names that should never be uttered. Not ever.
It wouldn’t be long before a pack of rabid dogs would be let loose in there. They liked to remind everyone that Auanre weren’t human. When this kid started fighting for his life, he’d move with his true, in-human speed. His skin would glow like it was lit from within. And, if he was from a strong Aunare bloodline, his tattoos would appear along his skin.
Once it was over, SpaceTech would come on the screen and tell Earthers here and across all of the colonies how the Aunare were the problem. The Aunare were the reason our lives sucked ass. The Aunare were why there was so much crime and poverty.
What a crock of shit.
“Hey,” Roan said as he gripped my shoulder. He’d changed into a pair of black pants and a bright blue button-down shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a shiny pair of Kicks I hadn’t seen before. He looked a little more dressed up than usual. “I’ve been calling your name.”
I shook my head and pointed to the screen.
“I saw the alert and hurried. How many times do I have to tell you not to put yourself through this shit?” Roan shut down the screens with a flick of his finger. “You okay?”
I nearly laughed at the absurdity of his question. “Is any of this okay? That kid will be dead soon and for what?”
“It’s not okay, but—”
“But nothing.” I snapped. “There’s nothing we can do about it. It’s done. That kid did nothing wrong except exist and that’s how it is for all halfers. I have to hide or that’s happening to me. And if SpaceTech ever finds me, I’ll be wishing for the end that poor bastard is about to get right now. I haven’t even heard from my father since I was three, but that won’t fucking matter to them when they make an example of me in some horrible way. Or worse. Use me to start the war they’ve been wanting to fight for the last fifteen years.” The air was rushing in and out of my lungs in quick gasps and I knew I had to calm down. Roan wasn’t the one I was upset with. This wasn’t his fault. I shouldn’t be yelling at him.
I wiped a hand down my face as I tried to get it together. The mad started to fade, and a bone-deep exhaustion took its place. I wanted to break down. So badly. But if I started crying now, I didn’t know when I’d stop.
A searing pain ran through my finger and that was it. I was done. My eyes burned and I struggled to keep the tears from falling. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. It’s been a long day. I worked a twelve-hour shift at the diner before coming here to teach and I need to get home and—” My voice broke and I cleared my throat, trying to cover it up.
He reached a hand down and I took it, letting him pull me out of the chair. “I’ll walk with you,” he said.
I took in his outfit again and remembered… “It’s gamer night at Starlite, right? That’s where you’re heading?”
“It is.”
“Then go. Have fun and forget about me and all my problems.”
“Come on, Maité. Don’t be like that. I’m not letting you walk home alone. Not tonight. Not when you’re upset.”
“I can take care of myself, and you have plans. Just because a halfer fifteen hundred miles away is being brutally ripped apart by savage, diseased dogs doesn’t mean I will be. At least hopefully not tonight.” I tried to laugh, but Roan just stared at me.
“I know you’re capable of handling everything on your own, but we both know it’s better if I go with you. No one will bug you if we’re together.”
I didn’t want to mess up his night, but if he was offering, I couldn’t afford to refuse him. “You’re right. I hate it, but you’re right. Will you please walk with me?” I asked as I put my backpack on.
“That’s why I offered.” He pulled me toward the door. “Come on. Let’s get you home. I know how you like that beauty rest.”
I gave him a small smile. “Sleep is very important. Critical even.”
Roan opened the door, holding it for me. “I’m aware.” He might have heard it from me a time or two.
“Well, as long as you know.” I set the lock for the warehouse and then quickly undid my braid. I bent my head down, letting my long hair fall to shield my face as we stepped into the crowded streets. I tried to wear neutral colors that didn’t attract any attention. Since I hadn’t even broken a sweat tonight, I kept on my black active leggings and tank top. I pulled the hood of my thin gray hoodie up over my head. Patrol bots zoomed overhead, scanning everyone. I’d yet to be picked up by facial rec, and I was doing everything I could to make sure it stayed that way.
Someone bumped into my shoulder as they pushed through the crush of people, and Roan pulled me closer to his side.
A ship flew low over the mishmash of buildings in Albuquerque’s warehouse district. The engines were so loud I had to cover my ears. I watched it disappear from view but kept looking up for a second. Smog and light pollution hid any inkling of the night sky overhead, but I still tried to make out the stars. Hoping to see something to wish on. Hoping that something would change. But it never did.
A Tykson revved its engine down the street. The single-person, hovering motorcycle was on the wish list of every eighteen-year-old I knew, except me. I was saving every penny I had to buy my own ship so that I could safely get off this planet. It was my only chance at not getting caught. Another solid five years of saving, and I might be close to having enough.
The blast of air under the Tykson spat dirt along my leg as it zoomed past. “Asshole. SpaceTech isn’t even attempting to clean up the city anymore.”
Roan ignored me because I could go on forever once I started on the company. “Haden stopped by during your intermediate class.”
I winced. I’d seen my ex stop by, but thankfully I hadn’t talked to him. “What’d he want?”
We separated for a second to let someone pass between us. The side streets were way too crowded tonight. It was making me antsy.
“Jorge has a new recruit for you to train.”
“Oh. Really?” Jorge was the head of the ABQ Crew. He’d been the one that found me and my mom eleven years ago when we first got to Ne
w Mexico. He set us up with a safe place to live and papers to make us able to work and we were finally able to stop running. I owed him everything. In return, I trained his recruits so they could help patrol the streets. Someone had to make Albuquerque safe, and SpaceTech wasn’t doing shit. This city owed a lot to the Crew, even if SpaceTech viewed them as a vigilante gang.
“Guy a year older than us wants in. He’s got some medical training, so he’ll be an asset, but he has to learn how to handle himself in case shit ever goes bad.”
“I can do that. He’ll have to start in my beginner class, just like everyone else. No bitching about being in class with kids.”
“That’s fine. He’s already agreed and won’t be complaining. He’ll be there tomorrow.”
“Frosty.” Teaching was the only thing I actually liked doing on Earth. It made me feel like I was making a difference.
“And…”
Oh boy. Roan never hesitated to say anything unless he was about to piss me off. “What?”
“Haden wanted to talk to me about something more personal,” Roan said as he pulled me back to his side again.
“More personal? With you? You’re not even friends with him.”
“He uh… He wanted my opinion on how to get back together with you.” Roan blocked his face, as if I’d hit him.
I rolled my eyes, and Roan stood straight again.
God. Haden was a bad decision that apparently wasn’t going away. “No. He thinks he wants to get back together with me.”
Roan laughed. “How is him thinking he wants to be with you different than him actually wanting to be with you?”
“Because as soon as we’re together, he’ll start whining again. I’m not opening up. I’m not letting him in. Blah. Blah. Blah. He’s got this picture of what we’d be like in his mind, but when it’s not actually like that, all he does is complain. I couldn’t ever be myself around him.” And that had been the downfall of our relationship. “Honestly, I’m starting to think I’m not built to be with anyone. Haden was sweet, caring, has a good business. In his spare time, he cooks for the homeless with the Crew. On paper, he’s pretty perfect. Maybe even too perfect. But he kept calling and calling and calling. The more he called the more I wanted him to leave me the hell alone. He doesn’t deserve that. He should have a girl that actually wants to answer his calls.”
