Drawing in a shuttered breath, she whispered, “Tell me what I do to you.”
He felt her tremble as he softly kissed her earlobe. Her back was smooth. Her skin silky. He’d never felt anything so soft ... so inviting. Her breast crushed next to his chest—much too tempting, he thought as his lips sought hers. The sweetness of her mouth caused him to groan. His tongue stroked and caressed hers until she responded with a passion of her own, feeding his hunger. “You make me forget that I am unworthy, you make me forget everything.”
She looked at him. “You are the bravest, smartest man I’ve ever met.” She was nibbling on the side of his mouth as she added. “I do not care that you are part Indian. I care for the man that you are inside, the one I’ve come to know.”
Her words would remain in his mind forever. As would her scent. It seemed to fill his soul. But he had to give her one more chance. “You should walk away from me now before it is too late. You know I will not stay. I will leave you.”
Brandy gave a harsh laugh as she hugged Thunder to her. “Everybody in my life has left me so what should one more make?” She kissed his chin. “Make me forget, Thunder,” she pleaded, “if only for a little while. Make me forget.”
He started moving toward shore. She still had her legs wrapped around him when they left the water. He spotted her gown and the sheet she’d brought with her in the enclosed trees.
Carefully he went down on his knees, laying her upon the sheet. Her body was beautiful beneath the moonlight; small beads of moisture dotted her skin as he once again leaned down to take her tempting lips, kissing her deeply, making her want him as badly as he wanted her.
Brandy was moving on instinct. She was uncertain what to do or how to please him, but she wanted desperately to learn. When she touched her tongue to his, instinct told her she was doing something right. As her tongue tangled with his, Thunder’s hand slid up the side of her breast, covering it possessively. He massaged her breast as his tongue did wonderful things to her mouth. She was beginning to think she was in another world, as her hand moved over his thick, muscular arms.
Was this love?
His mouth left hers. She felt cold and begged, “Please.” Ever so slowly, he lowered his head where he fastened his mouth to her breast. He began to suckle. A sudden heat like she’d never experienced before swept over her. She heard herself moan again and felt embarrassed that she had, but he was driving her crazy as he nuzzled the other breast, his lips tightened around her nipple. She was barely aware that his hand had moved lower until he touched her thighs. She stiffened.
“Don’t,” Thunder coaxed against her mouth.
She relaxed and opened her legs for him. His fingers slid between the curls and began to massage her. She arched against his hand. What was the crazy feeling? She tried to look into Thunder’s eyes but he was trailing kisses down her stomach until his lips replaced his fingers and a jolt of pleasure shot through her, much stronger than before. She began to whimper for something ... she wasn’t sure what. But she felt that there had to be more to this torture.
When she thought she could take no more, Thunder recaptured her lips in a kiss like none before. His lips were demanding, and she tried to give back all that she could.
Thunder had never known that lovemaking could be this good. And it was taking every ounce of strength to hold back He cursed himself for wanting her. He cursed himself for not leaving when he had the chance, but none of that stopped him from claiming what he wanted.
He parted her legs and positioned himself to enter her. And just when he realized that he was making her his, it was too late because he had entered her and felt her tightness just as she gasped.
“I’m sorry, little one,” he murmured and then he kissed her again and said, “Forgive me.” He waited until her body had adjusted, but the heat was so unbearable now he couldn’t stop once he began to move again.
He thrust deeper and deeper and he felt Brandy began to move. She wrapped her legs around him and arched her hips so he could move freely.
She had lost complete control. Never feeling like this before, she marveled at the completeness she felt as Thunder plunged one final time and shuddered at the same time that she saw white lights exploding all around her.
He collapsed against her, then rolled to the side, still keeping her within his arms, “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said huskily.
She heard his hard breathing as she rubbed her hands up and down his back “It only hurt for a little while,” she admitted, and then added “I like it when you hold me like this.”
“I like it, too,” Thunder admitted
When their breathing had calmed, they lay on the sheet, gazing up at the stars.
“We shouldn’t have made love,” Thunder finally said, breaking the silence.
“I know. But I’m not sorry.”
“But your husband should be the first.”
“I don’t want to talk about that now.” She turned on her side to face him. “Look, we may never have another time like this one together. Let’s enjoy a couple of hours.”
He wrapped his arm around her and gazed down at her upturned face. “And what do you suggest that we do?”
“Tell me about your childhood. I don’t know anything about you.”
“It was pretty normal. My father is Crazy Arrow and my mother is Little Woman.”
“What a funny name.”
“Indian names mean something. My name is Rolling Thunder. I was named after a storm. My mother received her name when she was captured and they brought her to camp. My mother is a white woman. She told me when she arrived at camp, my father walked over and looked at her then declared, ‘I want this Little Woman.’ ”
“That is so sweet. Did they love each other?”
“Not at first. She was afraid of my father and of course she didn’t speak Cheyenne so it was a while before there was peace between them.”
“Your mother taught you her language, didn’t she?”
“Yes. She wanted me to be educated in both worlds, so I could help both people.”
Brandy snuggled closer to Thunder. “She sounds like a very smart lady. How did you come to be in our part of the territory?”
“You are full of questions tonight,” he said as he rubbed his fingers back and forth across her arm. “I went to my white grandparents so that I might learn the white man’s ways. I enrolled in school and spent several years with them. Then the war broke out.” He sighed. “That is a different story, and I do not want to speak of war.” He brushed the hair from her shoulder. “Tell me how you came to be at the orphanage.”
“There isn’t much to tell. My life hasn’t been as exciting as yours,” she said as she traced circles on his chest with her finger. “I don’t remember much about when I was little, but I was left on the doorstep of the parsonage with my chest. I was only five years old.”
“The one that is so heavy?”
Brandy nodded. “Father Brown said I had blood stains on the front of my dress when he first saw me.
“Do you know where they came from?” “Someone killed my father,” she said in a small voice. Thunder tightened his hold on her as she continued.
“I don’t know much. I remember my father arguing with three other men. I came running into the room, and he shoved me behind him so quickly I didn’t see them. There was a loud noise and the next thing I knew my father was on the floor, and I was trying to wake him up.”
Tears trickled down her cheeks, and she knew she was getting Thunder’s chest wet. “I’m sorry I’m crying.”
“There is no shame in crying, Brandy.” He held her and wiped her cheeks with his fingers. “Sometimes it’s a good way to cleanse the soul.”
She smiled at him, and he pulled her up so he could kiss her tenderly.
When she was settled again she said, “You know, I’ve never spoken of that day before. Father Brown asked me what happened when I first came to him and I told him I didn’t know. But over the years bits a
nd pieces began to form. However, Father Brown never asked me again.”
“Perhaps he thought you’d been through enough pain.”
“Father Brown was a good man. I wish you could have met him.”
“I do, too. He sounds much like my grandfather. My grandfather spoke with great wisdom. Would you like to hear the words I said to him upon his death? It is a good way to remember your loved one.”
She nodded.
Softly, Thunder repeated the words with his cheek resting against the top of her head.
* * *
DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP.
I AM NOT THERE. I DO NOT SLEEP.
I AM A THOUSAND WINDS THAT BLOW.
* * *
I AM THE DIAMOND GLINT ON SNOW.
I AM THE SUNLIGHT ON RIPENED GRAIN.
I AM THE GENTLE AUTUMN RAIN.
* * *
WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING
HUSH I AM THE SWIFT, UPLIFTING RUSH
OF QUIET BIRDS IN CIRCLING FLIGHT.
* * *
I AM THE SOFT STARLIGHT AT NIGHT.
DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP.
I AM NOT THERE. I DO NOT SLEEP.
* * *
“That was beautiful,” she said with a sigh. “And the way Father Brown would want to have been remembered.”
“Brandy, tonight has been special. I will remember it always. But,” he hesitated as if he wanted to say something else, “we both have duties—”
“And promises,” Brandy whispered.
He sat up and pulled her up with him “You should go back now. The sun will be up soon, and we’ll be leaving.”
Brandy slipped the gown over her head while Thunder pulled on his breeches. When he straightened, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he hugged her so tight that she never wanted to break away.
Finally, when she pulled back she said, “I don’t know what to say.”
“Sometimes things are better left unsaid.” He kissed her lightly then and drew away. Once again his mask had slipped into place, and she had no idea how he felt. He gave her a nudge in the right direction. When she turned around to say something he had disappeared as if he’d never been there.
Brandy felt empty inside.
* * *
The next morning, the wagon train was on the move again.
Last night when Brandy and Ward had been dancing, he told her that they had about two weeks left until they reached Ft. Laramie. As she walked this morning she kept thinking, I only have two more weeks before I lose Thunder.
Last night. .. Brandy sighed. Just how did she feel about last night?
Guilty, yes. Because she’d given in so easily to temptation when she should have waited for the man she was going to marry.
Sorry, no. She had experienced something very special, she realized. And as wrong as it may sound, she was glad that Thunder had been the first. She realized that she cared for him more than she should. But what could she do about it?
Absolutely nothing.
She was promised to someone else.
“Look.” Ellen pointed to a group of wooden crosses and stone cairns.
Brandy hadn’t realized that Ellen had been walking beside her, she’d been so lost in her thoughts, but she turned now in the direction that Ellen pointed.
“It looks like there are at least ten graves. That is the most we’ve seen in one group,” Brandy said. Every day they passed graves beside the road, three here and four there. It was a strange feeling for everyone because they realized that they could end up being in one of those graves before the journey ended. “Let’s walk over there and see if the markers say anything.”
When they reached the first stone, Brandy found her answer. MARY LOU, DIED JUNE 6, CHOLERA. “They didn’t put a year,” Brandy said in a quiet voice.
“What is cholera?” Ellen asked as they caught up with their wagon.
“I don’t know much about the disease except what I’ve read in books. It’s an infection that attacks you down here.” Brandy patted just below her stomach. “It makes you go to the bathroom so much that it eventually weakens your whole body, and you die within days. It is very contagious so that’s why we see so many graves.”
“How do you get cholera?”
“From unsanitary conditions, and bad drinking water. This is the reason we’ve been boiling all our water to cook with.”
“I hope it doesn’t happen to anybody on our wagon train.”
“I do, too,” Brandy admitted. “Look, here comes Mary.”
Mary rode over on her horse and asked Ellen, “You want to ride for a while?”
“Sure,” Ellen said and held the horse for Mary to dismount Mary started walking with Brandy.
“Did you enjoy your ride?” Brandy asked, making small conversation.
“Anything is different. I have met another girl about four wagons up who is my age. Her name is Lettie, and we’ve been riding together.”
“It’s nice to make new friends.”
“You know we never had the chance at the orphanage.”
“Yes, I know,” Brandy said in a choked voice. “I will miss MacTavish and Nettie when we arrive at the fort” She could feel Mary’s sharp eyes boring into her as she walked.
Mary finally asked. “What about Thunder?”
Brandy grew hot at the mention of his name. “What about him?”
“I’ve seen the way you look at him,” Mary teased. “I would say that you like him very much and that you’ll miss him.”
“Like a toothache,” Brandy snapped and then apologized. “That wasn’t very nice. Yes, I will miss Thunder.”
More than she cared to admit.
14
A week had gone by, and Thunder knew he was avoiding Brandy. He made sure he was gone before she woke up and he returned from his scouting duties late after everyone had retired. But today he was going to get back to his normal routine if it killed him. He was devoting too many thoughts to the woman, and that irritated the hell out of him. He had a job to do and he’d do it, come hell or high water.
He didn’t need Brandy. He didn’t need anyone.
“You look as ornery as a mule this morning,” Ward commented when he drew his mount to a halt beside Thunder. “At breakfast this morning you hardly said two words.”
Thunder turned and glared at Ward from under the brim of his black Stetson. “Didn’t get much sleep last night,” he muttered.
“You wouldn’t have a certain lady on your mind that would be causing your lack of sleep?”
“How about I just couldn’t sleep?”
“Yep. You’re ornery. You’re really going to like this bit of news.”
When Ward didn’t say anything further, Thunder said, “Go ahead, spit it out.”
“Just rode to the back and one of the wagon wheels on Brandy’s rig broke. MacTavish has stopped to help but the rest of the wagons will have to move on as I’m sure you know.” Ward shrugged matter-of-factly. “Figure you’d want to know.”
Thunder cursed as he pulled his horse around and headed to the rear of the train. He could already see the long distance that separated Brandy’s party from the rest of the train.
When he arrived, he tied his horse to the wheel of the wagon and went around to the other side. MacTavish had already started hammering on the wheel.
“How the hell did this happen?” Thunder asked abruptly, turning to Billy. Without waiting for Billy to answer, Thunder asked. “Did you hit a rock?”
Billy spread out his hands and shrugged. “I wasn’t driving.”
Thunder swung around, aiming to locate Brandy. He immediately spotted her. He might have known that Billy would have been careful. Thunder didn’t have to look far, Brandy was standing right behind him with her arms folded and a defiant spark in her eye.
“So what happened?” Thunder barked.
“We hit a gopher hole and the wheel came off.”
Thunder’s expression was taut as he asked, “Do you not know
that you are to avoid rocks and holes?”
“Really?” Brandy said with a sarcastic tone, her brows raised. “I thought I was supposed to hit as many as possible.” She shifted positions and propped her hand on her hip. “It was hidden by a clump of grass.”
MacTavish and Billy chuckled softly.
Thunder glared at Billy, then back to the sassy Miss Brandy. She evidently was as ornery as he was this morning, and he could foretell a battle brewing between them. Maybe it was better to ignore her this morning and save the fight for later. Thunder moved over to MacTavish. “How bad is it?”
MacTavish shook his head. “Not so bad. We were lucky this time. No broken spokes. I’m just straightening out the hub, and then Billy can put it back on the wagon.”
Thunder turned to the girls. “Take as much as possible out of the wagon so that it will be easier to lift. Scott, you need to grease the rest of the wheels.”
An hour later, while MacTavish and Thunder got ready to mount the wheel, Nettie motioned for Brandy to come over to her.
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” Nettie confided. At the same time Amy came running by them, squealing because Scott was chasing her.
“What about?” Brandy asked.
“Ye know it isn’t much longer before we’ll be at the fort and parting ways,” Nettie said with a catch in her voice.
“I know. I hate to see you and MacTavish leave. The both of you have been such lifesavers to my family.”
Nettie reached out and squeezed Brandy’s arm. “ ’Tis a blessing ye’ve been to us. I’ve always wanted children, but it wasn’t to be. That is why I’d like to ask if we can adopt Amy.” Nettie paused, then rushed on, “She’s been such a joy and we love her very much.”
Brandy smiled. “I believe that Amy is happy with you, but I think I should ask the other children. We are all in this together, and what affects one usually affects the others.”
Nettie nodded her head. “I understand.”
Dance on the Wind Page 16
